I'm Not Half As Bad As What You've Been Told
by Spark Plug x
Summary: Xavier was sent to Ouran to 'straighten' himself out under the watchful eyes of his cousin, Renge. He has no desire to be the CEO of his father's company, and would rather be in a band with his friends, doing what he enjoys. He has no interests, except drinking, sex, and music, until he comes to Ouran and gets tripped up by a certain twin. MaleOCXHikaru (rewrite of KKLMA!)
1. I Forgot To Call You

**So, yes, I'm rewriting Kiss Kiss Leave Me Alone! Except this is honestly like a brand new story. This was how I wanted Xavier to act, but I just never really committed to it.**

**Yuukio will be in this story and her name will remain the same so if you don't like it, sorry. Yuukio is a gender neutral name. **

**Oh gee, I hope you guys like it. Please remember, this story, while it might have some of the same elements, is going to be completely different. Yes, I will keep the original up. **

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Renge let out a sigh as the last guest left the club room. She plopped down on a couch near her, and rested her chin on her hand.

"What's wrong Renge?" Haruhi questioned, tilting her head at the blonde girl, who looked worried. Renge was usually very bouncy and full of life, but today she seemed distracted.

"My cousin is coming to live with me." She told Haruhi. "My uncle is sending him over hoping Ouran will 'straighten' him out."

"Straighten him out?" Hikaru was interested now. Things had been boring around here, especially since Mori and Honey had graduated.

"He's awful. I really love him, I do, but, he's a mess." Renge told them, shaking her head. "He's been at boarding school in England since uncle runs the English portion of the company. He's apparently gone off the deep end, says uncle."

"Really?" Tamaki questioned, interested now too. "I'm sure he's not so bad! Maybe he could become a Host? We'd help him!"

"Senpai I don't know about this." Haruhi complained, wishing Tamaki would think before he acted.

"I agree with Haruhi." Renge told Tamaki, shaking her head. "Xavier will not be a good host. He's too off in his only little world of music and parties. All he does is drink and play music and go sleep around with people." She made a disgusted face. "He's supposed to be taking over his father's branch of the company but he's made it obvious it's not what he's interested in. Uncle is hoping he'll come here and get his life together. He wants me to keep an eye on him, but I know it'll be difficult."

"I'm sure he isn't that bad." Kaoru mumbled, knowing Renge could be over dramatic. He wasn't too quick to believe what Renge told him.

"He is! He has issues with authority and he doesn't get along with anyone but these friends he made in America while on a music program a year ago. He doesn't listen to anything we tell him, plus, he drinks and smokes and sleeps around! On top of that, he's so moody. He has no respect for anyone, not even himself." Renge continued, getting worked up over it.

"He sounds like trouble." Kyoya pushed his glasses further up his nose, making note to look up Xavier and see what he could find on him. "I don't think he'd be able to help us here, Tamaki."

"We should meet him before making rash decisions." Haruhi said wisely, unsure about the male. He sounded like a piece of work by Renge's standards.

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Xavier stretched his back as he stood in front of the door for music room three.

He really didn't want to be here at this school, or even in this country. He had no interest in this high profile school and was sure his time here would be short. He sighed, still standing at the door. It was a nice door, but, he couldn't continue to stand here like this. The other students would think something was wrong with him.

They wouldn't be wrong, but…

He shrugged it off and opened the door to the room, choosing not to knock. He stepped into the room, looking around at the hugeness of it, wondering what type of club needed this space. He didn't see anyone in the room, but he figured he must have gotten here too early, so he headed over the couch and sat down, deciding to wait on his cousin.

He pulled out his phone and played around on it, lazily going through all his social media apps he had on it, wondering when his cousin was going to get here. He didn't want to be here in the first place, at all, but he sure didn't want to be back at his boarding school in England either. He was hoping his father was going to send him to America, but, here he was, in Japan.

He wondered if he could smoke, but he decided that probably wasn't the best idea. He was starting to get bored and irritated when the door opened.

"Oh." Renge said with a group of males behind her.

"Don't act so happy to see me." Xavier stood, sliding his phone into his pocket. He spoke with a heavy British accent. "I thought I had the wrong room for a while there." He shrugged, feeling a bit awkward. The males behind her were giving him odd looks, and he wondered what his cousin had told them about him. "So….hey, I'm Xavier. Renge's cousin. I'm sure she's told you all about me."

"Just a little." Tamaki walked over to him bravely and shook his hand, even though he was a bit startled by the male. He had blonde hair, much like Renge, except it was more golden. It was shaved on the sides and he had a lip piercing jutting out on his lip. He had gray eyes that bore into Tamaki's and he was about the same height as the male. "I'm Tamaki, king of this host club!" He smiled, hoping to dazzle Xavier. "This is Kyoya, Haruhi, and the twins, Hikaru and Kaoru." He introduced the others, who waved to Xavier. "We'll leave you and Renge alone so you two can catch up." He backed off as Renge approached them.

"He doesn't seem so bad." Haruhi told Tamaki as he brought them in for a group discussion.

"Did you not have his eyes bore into yours!?" Tamaki whispered harshly. "I take back what I said, he can't be a host!"

"Senpai, you've barely spoken to him. You can't go off what Renge says." Haruhi was ready to smack Tamaki around. He was being cruel. Xavier looked normal, well, to Haruhi, probably not to these guys though.

"Xavier is seventeen and have been enrolled at Manchester's Fine Arts boarding school since he was ten. He went over to America when he was sixteen as part of a very sought after music program." Kyoya read his file from his manila folder. "He's extremely talented in music and can play guitar, bass, drums, ukulele and has an amazing vocal range. He seems to be quite talented."

"He doesn't seem like he'd want to join our club." The twins said together, looking over their shoulders at him.

"He's not one for social clubs like this one. His grades were decent, his attendance was worse. He spent most nights out whenever he could and seemed to be quite the partyer. His mother is a famous French actress, Jacqueline Labelle and his father is Akio Hōshakuji. They divorced when he was younger." Kyoya continued, skimming as he read. "Nothing much more than that. He doesn't have any bad spots on his records. He seems average."

"Told you, Senpai." Haruhi put her hands on her hips. "You know, he's talented in music and guests would like that. Maybe he just needs to make friends that are better influences?" She looked to Tamaki, trying to get him to lighten up about Xavier.

"You should join our host club!" They heard Renge exclaimed happily, which surprised them all since she was against it yesterday. "It'd be so much fun! Plus, Uncle wants me to help you straighten out, and this club will help!"

"A-Ah, no thanks." He replied, shaking his head at her. "I got better things to do, like sleep, or, I dunno, do other things." He didn't seem interested at all. She continued to whine, and he just crossed his arms, growing irritated by the second. "I'm really in no condition to spend my time doting over girls, Renge. Do you really want me messing with the girls in this school?"

"Not in the manner I know you're thinking of." She smacked his arm, sending a glare his way. "All you'll do is sit and talk to them. Oh! You can sing for them!"

"No thanks…." He was losing interest again and looked like he was ready to leave. "I'm not big on playing for other people. Renge, I really think this is a horrible idea."

"You could be our bad boy!" She continued. "Tamaki, we could use a bad boy! Since we no longer have Mori or Honey, we need another host." Now she hurried over to Tamaki to try and convince him. "Please, Xavier needs help. He's gotta clean himself up, or his life is over!"

"No it isn't." He called out to her but she brushed it off.

"You can make him an amazing host!" Renge held Tamaki's hands with stars in her eyes. "We can make him perfect!"

"That does sound good." Tamaki was thinking it over. The others sighed. "That's it! Men, we're going to help this poor boy out!"

"Oh hell no." Xavier glared, arms crossed. "Look, blondie, I don't play this shit. I'm not rainbows and butterflies like the rest of you lot."

"You're doing it." Renge told him firmly. "Or I'll tell Uncle. You'll never get out of here."

"What?!" He exclaimed, even angrier now. "That's unfair, Renge. That's fucking bullshit with a capital B." He was starting to get hostile, and Haruhi was wondering if Renge had been right about him. "I'll give it a whirl, though, only because I need to get out of here." He sighed, all his angry seeming to disappear.

"She was right about those mood swings." Hikaru muttered to Kaoru, who nodded his head. Hikaru wasn't very impressed by the blonde male. He was different, that was for sure, but Hikaru didn't find him interesting enough to keep around. "He might be decent to play with for a little while."

"I thought we talked about you two using people as play things." Haruhi glared at the twins. The two, while they were getting better, were still trouble makers. Hikaru smiled at her, and she rolled her eyes. "If you really don't want to do it, Xavier, you don't have to." She turned to look at him, hoping this would make him friendlier to her. She knew what it was like being forced into something.

Xavier tilted his head slightly as he looked at Haruhi. He narrowed his eyes, sensing something was up. Haruhi was way to pretty to be a boy. He decided not to say anything about it though, because he honestly didn't care. "Haruhi, right?" He questioned, making sure he got the name right. "Thanks, but, this is Renge we're talking about here. If she wants something enough, she'll get it, no matter what. That's what happens when you're spoiled rotten. Wish my parents did that with me."

"You were spoiled!" Renge argued and Xavier just looked at her like he wanted to punch her for saying that. "They sent you to another country and let you do whatever you wanted!"

Xavier continued to look at Renge, hoping she would understand what she just said. She didn't, unfortunately.

"That's because I'm older and am capable of taking care of myself." He stood now, ready to go unpack all of his things at Renge's place. "And because they're too busy to even realize what I'm actually doing, which is perfect for me. Now I'm heading back to unpack my shit, so, be good and do whatever you usually do. See you later." He waved and walked towards the door.

"Make sure you take your medicine and don't lock the door to your room!" Renge called after him.

"God I need a fag." He grumbled, slamming the club doors' shut.

"So, that's our newest club member?" The twins chimed together, both not impressed. "Boring!"


	2. He Looks Just Like Me But 6'3

**I decided to upload another chapter because the first one wasn't that long. I really hope you guys are enjoying this! We have so much planned and it's different, but it's going to be so much better than the first go around!**

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"Are you sure it's okay to be here?" Haruhi questioned as they stood outside of Renge's place. It was large and very blue, but not as large as the other club member's home. Haruhi was sure Renge's home in France was far bigger than this place though.

"Renge invited us over. We need to spend more time with Xavier!" Tamaki was taking this all positively well. Xavier had avoided them the past two weeks, which wasn't that hard since they barely had classes together, if any at all. He showed up to the club maybe twice and always left after an hour, complaining that he 'needed a fag' and he'd be out the door. Haruhi doubted the male even came to school half the time. She chalked it up to him being at a new school and still adjusting, but, if he wanted to be part of the club, he needed to start showing up.

"Hey guys!" Renge swung the door open happily, excited to see them. She pulled Haruhi into the house and the others followed as the maid shut the door. "I'm so happy you guys are here! Yuukio is here too." She told them as a tall female with long black hair came into the hallway.

"Hello." She greeted, accent British and bright blue eyes. "I was on my flight back here when Renge demanded the second I land I head over here." She sighed, looking a little tired. "I didn't know Xavier was here."

"You know him?" Kaoru questioned the girl. Yuukio worked as a model for his mother, so he had known the female for a long time, especially since their parents were close friends as well.

"Of course, Renge is my best friend." She smiled at the blonde girl, who smiled back. "I go to all their family functions. Xavier was always there hiding off somewhere to keep away from everyone. Good to hear he hasn't change." She muttered sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"Now, Xavier can put a show and be extremely polite, but only when he feels up to it, which is basically never." Renge complained as she led them up the lush stairs. They walked down a hallway and stopped at a black door. Music was slipping out from under the door, but Haruhi could barely understand the lyrics. "I think his biggest problem is the cussing."

"Which is why we have a spray bottle." Hikaru smirked, squirting it. Yuukio raised her eyebrows, but grinned wickedly.

"Brilliant." She said and put her hand on the knob. She sung the door open and it slammed against the wall.

"The fuck?" Xavier questioned, sitting up in bed. He had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and the music was on full blast.

"No smoking in the house!" Renge shouted as they entered the room.

"No coming in my fucking room!" He shouted over the music, swinging his long legs off the bed. He put out the cigarette in the ashtray by his bed and grabbed a remote, turning the music down. "I'm busy. What do you want?"

"Ah, busy, eh?" Yuukio put her hands on her hips and Haruhi looked around the room. It was large and a total mess. His bed was large and unmade, with pillows everywhere. Surprisingly, it barely smelled of smoke, but that could be because he had air fresheners plugged in the outlets around the room and the two large windows were open, letting fresh air in. He had a guitar on his computer chair and a bookcase full of CDS by his computer. His gray walls were covered with posters and pictures with a large red fluffy rug in the center of the room, adding color to it.

"Ah, Yuukio." He ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back. "Lovely to see you again. How have you been?"

"Wonderful as usual. I see you're still a mess." She told him and he gave her a forced smile.

"Good you see you're one too. Still got that aggression problem?" He was toying with her now. Her cheeks got red, but Kaoru patted her shoulder. She took a deep breath, calming herself down.

"Unlike you, I'm getting help for my problems."

"Are you telling me sex and alcohol aren't solutions?" He laughed at this and approached her. While Yuukio was tall, he still beat her by a few inches. "It is great to see you though, you look good. You know, out of Renge's two friends, you are my favorite."

"That's only because the other friend is your ex-girlfriend." Yuukio rolled her eyes, not being charmed by the blond male. "So you're becoming a host?"

"Unfortunately. Didn't know you attended this school?" He questioned confused. He could have sworn the female was privately tutored.

"No, I don't. I work for Kaoru and Hikaru's mother, and sometimes I tag along to the Host Club. It's very enjoyable and relaxing." She explained. "I didn't realize you got kicked out of your last school."

"Ha, you are funny." He looked only slightly amused now. "But you've met my father, so I don't have to explain why I'm here. Though, however, I do want an explanation for why you lot are here….in my room." His expression darkened and he wanted them out of his room.

"We're here to train you on being a host!" Tamaki exclaimed and Xavier just looked at him with a blank face.

"Fuck no." He replied and was sprayed in the face with water by Hikaru. He stepped back, startled by it. He wiped his face off and glared at Hikaru. "The fuck is your problem?!" He was squirted again and this time he snatched the bottle from the male. "I'm not an animal!"

"Well you act like one." Hikaru took the bottle back from the male.

"And how would you know it?" Xavier questioned. "Which one are you again?" He couldn't tell them apart, nor did he have the desire to. He brushed it off before Hikaru had time to reply and walked over to his bedroom door. "Out losers."

"It's my home!" Renge stomped her foot, not letting Xavier act like this.

"Renge, it's not a good day for this." He was starting to get tired now. He woke up feeling awful and the last thing he wanted was to spend time with the club. "It's a bad day. Give me a break."

"It's always a bad day!" Renge whined, starting to get bratty. "Everytime I came to visit you it was a 'bad day'. You can't always be having bad days here." She was frustrated, but Xavier looked to be the same way.

"I bet you I can." He nodded to the door. "I got illegal things to do." He said and Haruhi was sure it was a joke with the way he smirked at them.

"Nope." Yuukio told him, shaking her head, taking charge. "Xavier, I know you hate to be here, you have things to do, like smoke and listen to music like the pompous asshole you are, but, it's time to be social and actual try to enjoy yourself and fix yourself."

Xavier really hated Yuukio sometime. The girl always knew Xavier's weak spots and made sure she pointed them out, but, he did the same thing to her. They somehow could relate to each other, even though they had different problems and handled them very differently.

"Fine fine, what do you lot want from me?" He questioned, walking over to his bed. He sat down on it, pushing his laptop away. "No one just waltzes into my room for a chat, yeah? I'm quite dull to have a neat lil' chat with."

"You play music, right?" Renge questioned, inching towards their request.

"I play music? Yeah, Renge, I do play music." He rolled his eyes at how she asked the question. "You know that. I went to a Fine Arts school. Why?"

"We need you to perform at a party we're hosting." She told him and they all knew he was going to say no. "Come on, Xavier, you're part of the club!"

"I've been here two weeks. You've given me no time to actually adjust before you throw me out there into this weird club." He didn't seem too aggressive as he said this, but Haruhi and the others knew, even after knowing him for two weeks, his moods changed quickly. "Look, Renge, I can't just go up and sing and perform."

"Why not?!" Renge whined, wanting her cousin to help them.

"For one, don't have my band." He told her, holding a finger up. "Two, you lot won't like my songs." He added another finger. "Thirdly, I can't just sing, you know? I gotta be in the mood, and I just….am not. I'm a bit knackered out at this point in time."

"What if we get your band over here?" Kyoya questioned and the group saw Xavier perk up at this. In the time they knew him, he never seemed so interested before.

"You not taking a piss outta me, are ya?" He questioned, tilting his head. "Eh, if you get them over here, all three, I'll do it. When is this little party?"

"In about two weeks. Can you four handle it?" Kyoya raised his eyebrows, almost as if he was challenging Xavier. The male smirked, ready to take on the black haired male.

"We've handled worse. 'Course we'll fuckin' blow ya minds." He chuckled and actually smiled, seeming to be in a good mood now. "Maybe I'll show up to the club more often." He reached for another cigarette and patted around the sheets for his lighter. "You do something for me, I might prove to be useful to you, yeah?" He directed this to Kyoya mostly, eyebrows raised. "Pops let me on to how your family works. Guess I'm not as useless as you thought?" He found the lighter and cupped his cigarette, lighting it effortlessly. He took a long drag and exhaled, blowing the smoke away from the group.

"Only until those kill you." Kyoya grumbled, disgust all over his face.

"That won't be an exciting death. I need something more…surprising." He nodded his head at this, cigarette in between his fingers now. "Anything else you wanted?"

Yuukio snatched the spray bottle and sprayed his cigarette, putting it out. "We're going to make you a proper host. No cursing, no smoking, no sex or drug or alcohol stories." She ordered as he glared at her. "I'm not afraid of you, Zavy. I've known you for far too long." She nodded her head, ready for anything the male was going to throw at her. "It's time to get your shit in order, yeah? You will be polite to these girls and act like the gentleman you were raised to be! I know your mother would frown to see you act like this."

"Mum knows how I act and clearly she does not give a fuck." He glanced at his cigarette, angry that she had destroyed it. He tossed it into the trash and looked up at her from his spot on the bed. "I'll be polite to the ladies, because I always am." He told her and she rolled her eyes at this part. "But my stories are mostly those containing alcohol and sex."

She continued to argue with him as the twins wondered around the room. Hikaru quickly took interest in the CD collection. It was mostly English and American bands, but he recognized a few of the bands. He wanted to get to know Xavier, because he seemed like he could be fun, but his piss poor attitude and personality turned Hikaru off. He glanced to Haruhi, who was next to him, looking at the CDs with interest. She looked at him and smiled, and Hikaru blushed, looking back to the CDs.

"You have a lot." Haruhi directed this to Xavier, who had stopped arguing with Yuukio when he noticed their interest in the CDs. "Guess you really like CDs?"

Tamaki whined as Renge and Kyoya pulled him out of the room to discuss the party and so Renge could get the contact information for Xavier's friends.

"I do, music is my life. You interested?" He questioned, approaching her.

"Sort of. I've been looking for new music I suppose." Haruhi told him, straightening her shirt. Since they were at Renge's, she had to wear one of her more gender neutral shirts. It fit loosely, so she was pulling at it constantly, trying to keep it straight.

"What are you into?" He walked up behind her now, glancing at the CDs she was looking at. Hikaru noted how he smelled like vanilla, mixed with smoke. He was tall, even compared to Hikaru, and next to Haruhi he looked like a giant. He glared at Xavier, but the male didn't seem to notice.

"Anything, honestly. I just listen to the radio." She shrugged and looked back to him, not intimidated by him at all. She had seen how he acted around school. He was polite to his teachers, held doors open for girls, and even helped a kid or two reach the high shelves of books in the library. He had his own personal issues to face and sure, he wasn't handling them well, but that wasn't Haruhi's business.

"Here." He reached over and slid a CD out of it's place before he handed it to her. "They're my current favorite."

"The 1975?" She questioned, looking at the simple black CD case.

"Yeah. British indie pop band. You'll have to look up the lyrics to understand them, but I like their mellow sound yet complicated lyrics. If you want more poppy but still rock, I suggest All Time Low. Depends on what you want." He shrugged, looking at her as she looked over the CD. "Depends on what you relate to more. I relate to these guys best, but, you might something more…I don't know."

"You know, if you showed up to the club more than twice a week, I could get more music suggestions from you." Haruhi told him, glancing at him. He looked at her, then back up, like he was thinking.

"Alright, mate, I'll give the club a go, only because you look like you need help in the music area." He shrugged and Haruhi smirked victoriously. "Guess I'll have to try and befriend you all…."

"With that attitude?" Hikaru questioned, glancing at Xavier, who was looking at him. "You're kind of an asshole."

"Renge's told me about all of you." He turned from them, heading back over to his bed, where he phone was. "'Haruhi is the cutest, I love him so much!' and 'Tamaki can be such a baby sometimes!' and we can't forget, 'the twins are demons, but they keep the guests coming and the twincest is amazing!'." He imitated Renge with a fake smile on his face. Once he was done, he laughed and picked up his phone. "I don't know, I'm a little interested in the twincest. You ever sleep with a pair of twins?"

"Xavier!" Yuukio's face was red as the twins smirked at each other and back to the model.

"Having two loves is better than one." The twins said together, making Xavier laugh.


	3. Run Run Away From The Boys In Blue

**Reviews, favorites, and follows! They just make me so happy! We're going to try our hardest to not let yall down, so let us know what you think!**

**Love you guys so much!**

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It was Tuesday afternoon when Xavier came through the doors of the club. He looked around, settling for putting his bag up in the club closet and coming back out when he heard Renge speaking.

"Yo." He mumbled as he came out of the room. Renge looked shocked to see him, but ran over to him, hugging him.

"I knew you loved me!" She squealed and he patted her back, making a face.

"I showed up to the club and I get rewarded with a hug?" He questioned, his words dry. "Is this going to be an everyday thing? I truly hope not."

"Why? You not into showing affection?" Hikaru questioned, smirking at the blond, who walked past him to the couch.

"You got that one right." He plopped down and yawned, ready for a nap. "Not really. I don't like hand holding or cuddling It's a tad disgusting." He stuck out his tongue, putting his arms on the back of the couch, getting comfortable. "I hear you and your brother do that a lot, so I'll try to look away and not make disgusted faces."

"You must be popular with the ladies." Hikaru grumbled, approaching the male with his arms crossed. Kaoru gave his brother a look as he handed Yuukio her normal cup of tea. The two twins had learned a lot over the past year. While they were still extremely close, they tried to not always be stuck together. It was Haruhi's suggestion, and it was working okay.

"Actually, I sort of am. Not these types of ladies, of course. I'm a bit past the hand holding and cute kisses stage unlike the rest of you lot." He nodded towards Yuukio, who was laughing with Kaoru. "I'm just not as posh as you lads, I suppose." He looked back to Hikaru. "You're Hikaru, right? You two part your hair differently, eh?"

"Yes. I'm the better looking twin." He joked and Kaoru shot him a look. "Oh, Kaoru, you know I'm joking." He went over to his brother as a few guests into the room. They turned their brotherly love on in an instant, making the guests squeal and making Xavier nod his head, slightly impressed.

"Are you officially part of the club now, Xavier?" A guest asked, approaching him. The others looked at him, wondering how he'd do.

"Seems I am, love." He instantly turned on the charm, smiling at her. She had long brown hair and bright brown eyes. "You want to sit with me? I'd love to have someone as cute as you next to me." The girl turned red and nodded her head eagerly. He scooted over and she hurriedly sat down next to him, enchanted by him. He glanced behind him at Tamaki and Renge, nodding his head.

"Told you, he can be quiet the charmer when he wants to be." Renge told the others, whose mouths were open. "I think the accent helps."

"This is ridiculous." Haruhi grumbled at how easily Xavier was able to fool the girl. A few seconds ago he was talking about how he hated things of that nature, but now he was doing it, charming the pants off of the young first year. "How can he do it so easily?"

"Well, Haruhi, that's what he was raised to do, basically." Yuukio said, stirring some sugar into her tea. "He was raised to become a businessman and find a wife that was of high social standing. Just because he's strayed from that path doesn't mean he still doesn't have the skill to be a total gentleman." Yuukio was right about that. "Plus, Renge really was right. When Xavier feels like it, he can be a gentleman and a decent human being. He wasn't always like he is, you know?"

"Really?" Hikaru questioned, surprised. "Thought he was born an asshole."

"Not at all. He was a cute child." Yuukio sipped her tea happily, enjoying it as she tried to relax. "But, things happen when you get older. It's stressful, you two know that. Some break under the pressure." She sounded so sure of herself, and Haruhi was very sure that Yuukio knew exactly what happened to Xavier. "All I'm saying is….and I know I'm very rough on him, but that's because I have a right to be, is try and not get turned off by how he acts….he's not…all bad." She shook her head. "Now, go have fun." She shoo'd them off and Haruhi walked by Xavier, who now had three guests sitting with him as he told them a story about how he and his roommate back in England got lost in Manchester one night.

He glanced to Haruhi, catching her staring at him. "Problem, mate?" He questioned, stopping his story.

"Oh, Haruhi!" A girl exclaimed. "Have you heard this story? Xavier is so funny! I'm glad you guys decided to make him a host. Y-You're still my favorite though!" Her face got red, hoping Haruhi wasn't mad at her.

"No, I don't think I've heard the story. Oh, don't worry. I know, Xavier is pretty interesting, right?" She smiled at the girl, who just smiled widely back, inwardly squealing. Haruhi looked to Xavier, who actually had pink cheeks, a little embarrassed. He glanced at Haruhi, but looked away quickly when he saw Haruhi smiling at him. "Well, do you ladies mind if I sit down and join you?"

"That's fine!" The guests cheered together, excited. Haruhi came around the couch and sat down, making the guests smile.

"So, continue." One guest told Xavier, who glanced to Haruhi before looking back to her.

"So, I'm with William in the middle of this darkly lit street and we only have maybe a few pounds on us. He's basically black out drunk and I'm carrying him on my back." He continued and Haruhi listened in, actually interested. "So this car pulls up and this guy rolls down the window at us. He thinks that I'm this guy that owes him money. Of course I'm not, I owe no one any money." He shook his head with a sigh. "So this guy starts screaming at me and William keeps groaning, so I just take off running. I dodge down this dark alley and oh my god, this lady of the night is there." He smirked and kind of chuckled as one of the girls gave him a confused look. "A prostitute was there and she's not a pretty one. She's pissed because I scared off her client. So she wants me to pay her for making her lose a source of income."

"Is this story appropriate?" Kyoya questioned, but the twins shushed him, now interested in the story, along with their guests.

"So this lady is screaming at me, along with the dudes behind me that got out of their car, and William is coming to and is wondering why I'm trying to get a blow job from this ugly old hag with him on my back." He continued and Tamaki just stared at him as he told the story. "So I got some drug lords behind me and this nasty crusty lady demanding money, so I just brush past her and push her into this dudes and tell her they've got the pounds and just took off down this ally. Then, William is complaining how bumpy this journey is and he's about to throw up."

"What happened?!" A guest asked, leaning in.

"So we get out of the alley, and the car with the other druggies are there, so I bolt over the street and almost get hit by a taxi. I slide down the railing into the tube and jumped over the ticket toll because I don't have money to pay for both of us and I almost lose William in this process, but he's holding on for dear life and the lady of the night and druggies are literally right behind us. So I practically throw myself into the train before the doors shut. William rolls off my back and slams into the other side and I'm on the floor groaning because I definitely messed my leg up, but we're safe and actually on the right train home." He told them, nodding his head. "Of course after we get back to the dorm William is puking and I'm the only one awake to take care of him, but, yeah, that's what happens when you get lost in Manchester at night."

"Do you have any more fun stories with William?" A guest asked and Xavier frowned, thinking about it. "Did something happen?"

"Ah, William was a good mate, we had fun together. That story happened when we fifteen and we had been roommates all year so we had tons of stories between us. His parents were great and I really liked the kid." He shrugged and Haruhi was wondering if this story had a tragic end. "We didn't get paired up as roommates the next year, which didn't matter too much since I was going off to America but I hit up this party before I left and found him….uh….I don't know if this is a fun story to tell." He glanced at the girls. "He doesn't die so that's the end."

"Wait, what happened?" Hikaru questioned, wanting to know. Xavier made a face and glanced to Tamaki and Renge, not sure if it was a good idea to tell the end of that story.

"How about I tell you loves 'bout the time my best mate Isaac and I almost missed our flight to America?" He questioned and the girls seemed to forget about William and were now interested in this story.

* * *

"So what happened to William?" Haruhi asked when the last guest left the club room. Xavier had a cart full of tea cups that he was about to push to the back when she joined him.

"Yo lil' dove." He greeted, glancing over to her and she looked surprised at the pet name. "Nothin' too bad. Sure you won't find it interesting."

"But I want to know…it's bad, isn't it?" She questioned and followed him into the back, where he left the cups and walked back out, Haruhi still following him. "And dove?"

"Dove fits you. You're very girl like for a boy, you know that?" He questioned and everyone in the club froze, except for Renge and Yuukio, who agreed. "Anyway, William is alive. I went to this fuckin' party that was 'bout to get busted any second by the feds and this bloke was snorting coke off a stripper's stomach." He said bluntly and Haruhi's eyebrows shot up. "He fucking over dosed. His heart stopped and the ambulance almost didn't make it. He was so lucky I called them or he would've been dead. His mum was in the waiting room of the hospital crying her eyes out. That's why I don't do those heavy drugs."

"How can you say it so calmly?!" Haruhi questioned, wondering if Xavier was heartless.

"It's just how I am sometimes. It's the medication, it mellows everything out." He shook his head with a blank look. "I was pretty shaken, but what else would I be with one of me best mate's dying in my arms? No one even cared. People over dosed all the time at these things. He's getting the help he needs now. He's okay. He's alive." He shrugged and went to grab his bag out of their closest. "It's way I never do hard drugs."

* * *

Haruhi sighed, frustrated. The book she needed, as usual, was on the very top shelf. She missed Mori right about now. He always was able to get the books she needed down. She needed to do more research for her roman history project that she was teamed up with Hikaru on. She felt a little bad, since he and Kaoru got spilt up, but neither minded too much. The past year that had been working on trying to do some things separately and at least try to let others in and grow up some. They were going to be sixteen in a few months so they needed to branch out more.

"Need help, dove?" Xavier questioned, startling her. She turned around quickly, seeing him reach up and grab a book for her. "What?"

"You just startled me." She mumbled, taking the book from with him a small smile. Xavier had been friendlier to her over the past few days. He was still warming up to the others, but, as long as they made an effort, he made one too.

"Sorry. You need anything else?" He questioned, looking back at the shelf.

"Actually….yes…" She said and began pointing out the books. He grabbed every single one of them, and actually helped her to a table since there were so many. He sat down with her and laid his head on the table, closing his eyes as she opened a book. "Don't you have things to study for?"

"Bare minimal." Was all he said for a minute. She waited for more until she thought he fell asleep and went to read her books. "All I have to do…is graduate, then I am home free to do as I please."

"And what do you want to do?" She questioned, eying him. He moved his head and opened his eyes so he was looking at her. His gray eyes were cloudy and he looked exhausted.

"Play in my band. Sing. Make the crowds scream my name." He smiled and closed his eyes again. "You like the CD?" He changed the topic, not wanting to talk about the future. It worried him.

"I do. You were right, I did have to look up the lyrics…"

"He's a bit muffled at times. It's the accent. I got more of their stuff, like extra songs and Eps if you want them. I'll burn all their stuff to a CD so you can keep it." He opened one eye and saw her smile at him and he furrowed his brows, thinking. He shook the thought off, because it was silly.

"Thank you." She told him and he closed his eye again and seemed to actually fall asleep. She got to work on preparing for the project, waiting for Hikaru.

He entered the library a half hour later and felt a pang of jealously when he saw Xavier sitting with Haruhi. It subsided when he saw the boy was asleep and he sat down across from him, setting his bag by his feet. "Sorry I was late. Boss tried to get me to agree to this awful theme for the club later on today."

"No problem. I try to avoid Senpai when I can." Haruhi chuckled and slid some papers and a book over to him. "I went ahead and did an outline." She spoke and her hand brushed against Hikaru's. Xavier cracked an eye open to see Hikaru blush at this.

"T-Thanks…that's…awesome." Hikaru mumbled a reply, suddenly looking nervous. "I found a few websites." He pulled out his laptop and booted it up before sliding it over to Haruhi. They worked in silence for a little while and Xavier watched as Hikaru continued to sneak looks at Haruhi. He smirked to himself before snuggling back into the inside of his arm and falling asleep.

* * *

"Come on." Haruhi shook Xavier, trying to get him up so they wouldn't miss the club.

"Mona, c'mon…" He groaned, swatting her hand away. Haruhi and Hikaru looked at each other, confused. Haruhi shook him again, tickling his neck. "Monique!" He shrieked and shot his head up, trying to get away from her fingers. He rubbed his neck and opened his eyes, in a slight daze. "Uh…" He mumbled, his vision a little blurry. He blinked a few times, straightening it all out, and stared at the two.

"Who is Mona?" Hikaru questioned as Xavier yawned and stretched.

"Mona?" He questioned, stopping mid stretch to look at the twin. "Uh…..my ex girlfriend. Why?" He stood and grabbed his back, pulling it over his shoulder.

"I was trying to wake you up and you called me her name." Haruhi explained and he shrugged.

"You two sound a bit the same. Plus, she'd always tickle me to wake me up. She was very touchy feely." He didn't seem to want to talk about her, which wasn't all that surprising. People didn't tend to want to talk about their exes. He stayed quiet during their walk to the club room, opting not to join Haruhi and Hikaru's mindless chit chat.

* * *

He quickly poured himself a cup of tea and dumped two spoonful's of sugar in it, stirring it around as he yawned again. "That's a lot of sugar." Yuukio mumbled as he did this, eying his drink. She knew the rest of them didn't have to watch their figure like she did, but, it was still unhealthy.

"I need all the sweetness I can get." He told her, smirking as he sipped his tea. "I don't have to watch my weight like you. Sad tale of the model."

"Hey now, I do enjoy my job very much. I get to see a lot of places and meet a lot of people. Better than sitting on my arse smoking." She chided, the two starting their usual banter. This happened every day now, and the club was expecting it. The two forces just collided. Yuukio always had something to say and Xavier's come backs hit her pretty spot on. If they argued enough, Yuukio's nose would start to bleed from stress. It was a little entertaining.

"Come on you two." Kaoru sighed, trying to get them to stop, as he usual did. He was trying to help Yuukio with her aggressiveness, but Xavier made it tough for him to help her. Kaoru got Yuukio away from the blond male and took her over to her usual table, pouring her tea for her.

"Kaoru is sweet for trying to help Yuukio." Tamaki nodded his head, smiling as Kaoru attempted to calm Yuukio down before her nose began to bleed.

"I believe he might fancy her." Xavier said, watching the two. "I think she fancies him as well, they're just…awkward….just like the rest of you."

"Sorry we're not 'love experts'." Hikaru grumbled, ready to pounce on Xavier if he made a bad comment about Kaoru.

"I'm definitely not a 'love' expert. I'm decent with relationships but love is not my area." He waved off that idea. "Sex is my area."

"None of us need help there." Haruhi told him, shaking her head. "I think they're cute together. Probably just in that awkward stage of not knowing what to do. I think they're both still growing as people, but I'm sure they could help each other grow." This made Xavier laugh, shaking his head.

"Gee, you do sound like Mona…..but ya kinda sound like Stella too." He thought about it.

"Why do you always compare me to your ex girlfriends?" Haruhi asked, wondering if he caught on that she was a girl. She wanted to tell him, but, Tamaki bribed her with fancy tuna.

She loved fancy tuna so much.

"Stella ain't my past girl, she's one of my best mates. Happens she's a bird, but can't I have friends that are girls without any sexual relations with 'em?" He questioned, twirling his spoon in his cup. "She's my drummer. She's so excited to meet you all and go to that party. She's firecracker." He smirked, thinking of the girl.

"A bird?" Haruhi questioned. A lot of the British slang Xavier used tripped her up. She went and looked a lot of it up to help her understand him better.

"Bird means a young woman." Kyoya told her. "They'll be here next week. Stella, Vincent, and Isaac, right?" He questioned, making sure he got them.

"Vinny, not Vincent, but yeah, that's the group." He nodded his head, seeming to be in a very good mood now. "Best mates a lad could have."


	4. Fixated On The Girl With The Soft Sound

**There is a piano version of 'Six Feet Under The Stars' by All Time Low somewhere on the internet. I have it in my itunes.**

**Thank you so much for reviewing! 3 I'm just really happy people are liking this so I keep updating it really fast. Gah I just love this story so much!**

* * *

It was Tuesday and it was beautiful outside, so Tamaki demanded the windows be opened. The fresh June air came in and Xavier settled down on his usual couch, beginning to doze off as the guests arrived.

"Xavier, Kyoya tells me you will be performing at the party next Saturday!" A guest exclaimed, sitting down on the couch, waking him. He looked a little dazed for a second, but she just found it adorable. "Would you maybe sing a song today?"

"You want me to sing you a song?" He raised his eyebrows, surprised by the request. "Eh…" He mumbled, thinking it over. It had been a while since he had really sang for anybody. He just hadn't been feeling like it lately. It just didn't feel right without his friends.

"He only sings if he's in a 'mood'." Renge rolled her eyes to the others, annoyed with her cousin.

"Sure, I guess. I'm in a decent mood." This surprised Renge as her cousin looked around. "We got a piano around here?" He stood as Tamaki excitedly showed him over to the piano. "Don't expect some deep emotional song now." He glanced to the others, sitting down. He cracked his fingers and thought for a second, trying to decide a song. "Hm…I've never planned this one on piano, but I'll give it a go. It's called 'Six Feet Under The Stars'." He said and started to play, focusing in on the keys. While he could play, the guitar and his voice were the instruments he was best at.

"Sounds pretty." The guest smiled, happy he was playing.

"_Time to lay claim to the evidence, fingerprints sold me out, but our footprints washed away from the docks downtown. It's been getting late for days and I think myself deserving of a little time off. We can kick it here for hours and just mouth off about the world and how we know it's going straight to hell. Pass me another bottle, honey. The Jager's so sweet but if it keeps you around then I'm down!" _He sang slowly, obviously slowing the song down and making it seem more like a ballad.

Everyone in the club stopped what they were doing, turning their heads to Xavier as he sang. The others didn't expect that voice to come out of him. It was rough, but deep and emotional, like he meant every word he was singing.

"Told you he could sing." Renge smirked at the others and Yuukio nodded her head in agreement. Why did no one believe the two girls?

"_Meet me on Thames Street! I'll take you out though I'm hardly worth your time. In the cold you look so fierce, but I'm warm enough because the tension's like a fire. We'll hit South Broadway in a matter of minutes and like a bad movie, I'll drop a line. Fall in the grave I've been digging myself but there's room for two. Six feet under the stars!" _He continued, watching the keys carefully as he did so.

"Oh, wow.." Haruhi mumbled in awe. Xavier looked so into the song, like it was one of his own. Music was totally his element. She watched him until he was done. He got up and strode back over to his guest, like nothing happened.

"Was that to your liking, love?" He questioned and the girl squealed happily, loving it.

"It was beautiful! You sang with such emotions!" She was going all over the place and Xavier looked amused at her reaction. He wasn't really expecting her to love it that much.

"How did I really do, dove?" He questioned, knowing Haruhi would give an honest opinion.

"It was decent." Hikaru grumbled, cutting Haruhi off before she could even open her mouth. He looked a little jealous. Xavier shot him a look. He had barely spoken to Hikaru, but obviously the twin disliked him. Haruhi ignored him and shoved the twin off, telling him to go play with Kaoru and entertain his guests.

"She's right, you did really well." She agreed with the guest, who was so happy right now she could die. "You sang that so well. I didn't know you had that good of a voice."

"Thanks. Been training since I was a kid. Haven't really sang much lately so it's good to know I'm not too rusty." He shrugged and turned his attention back to his guest, a smile on his face. "Wish I could always want to sing. It's enjoyable." He had forgotten how nice it felt.

"You should sing all the time!" The guest told him and he shook his head, sitting down next to her.

"Nothing is that easy, love." He told her and glanced back to Haruhi before looking to the guest once more. "But if you keep sitting with me I'm sure my mood will definitely improve." He put his arms on the back of the couch and her face went red, enchanted by him.

"You're so full of it." Haruhi muttered as she walked behind the couch.

"Ah, dove, don't get your panties in a bunch. You know, I like you." He told Haruhi, smirking as Tamaki and Hikaru glared at him. "You're really cute too."

"Oh gee!" The guest squealed and Xavier chuckled at her.

"He's not as cute as you though, love." He turned his attention back to his guest now, nodding at Haruhi as she walked off.

* * *

"You know, Xavier, you kind of remind me of my boyfriend." A girl with short black hair said. Her name was Misaki. She was a third year, like Tamaki, Kyoya, and Xavier. She was one of Xavier's regulars and had a cute button nose with green eyes. She was extremely smart and while she didn't get carried away like the other girls, she still loved the club.

"John, right?" Xavier's other regular guest, Abby, questioned. She had long brown hair and eyes, and had been faithful to Xavier since he started coming to the club. She adored his accent and as a first year, she got carried away the most.

The two girls always sat with him, no matter what. He enjoyed them and was always happy to see them, even outside of the club. They were some of the only ones who approached him in the hallways or at lunch. He tended to scare a few others away, he blamed it on his hair and lip ring…plus his overall face.

"You got a bloke?" He questioned Misaki. "One like me? Ah, love, you don't want one like me."

"He's a little imitating, like you." She told him, sighing as she sat her tea cup down. "Yes, John is his name. He's very sweet and caring, but he's a tad quiet and he has a scary face. At first I wasn't sure about him, but, I was arranged to marry him, so I decided to give him a chance." She smiled widely at this, thinking about him. "He's so perfect. He's the sweetest boy in this school, and he plays saxophone. It's so soothing and beautiful."

"He plays sax, yeah?" Xavier's eyes lit up at this and Misaki smiled back.

"Yes. Would you possibly befriend him?" She questioned. "I didn't think it'd be an issue for you. He loves music, just like you, and it's what he wants to do with his life. I just don't think he knows how to make friends."

"Consider it done, love." He winked at her. "My mates will be coming in soon, so, maybe he'll play with us next weekend at the party?"

"That'll be lovely!" She grabbed his hands, excited. "Really, thank you. You're so sweet!" Xavier's face went red at this, embarrassed at it.

"A-Alright love, settle down." He mumbled, glancing around. Hikaru and Kaoru were watching him, both smirking at his red face. He wasn't used to these types of girls calling him such nice things. He liked these girls and he wanted them happy. "I'll see what I can do with ya bloke."

He felt the twins come up behind him and turned slowly, seeing them standing there, smirking at him. "Little Zavy flushed?"

"Bug off." He waved them off, trying to get his face back to its normal color. "She is just adorable." He referred back to the guest, making her smile. "What lad wouldn't get flustered over such a beautiful bird?" He had a feeling in the pit of his stomach when he looked at her green eyes. They were a soft forest green and when she smiled at him the feeling in his gut got worse.

"Are you okay?" Abby asked, putting her hand on his knee. She noticed how he seemed to zone out and frown suddenly.

"Not feeling too hot. Sorry loves I need to go." He stood quickly, smiling apologetically at them. He went to grab his bag and left the club without saying another word.

"Did….did I do something wrong?" Misaki questioned, wondering if she upset him.

"He's dramatic." Renge told her, quick to make the guest feel better. "Don't you worry about him. He's probably just excited because today is Friday and his best friends are arriving today!"

* * *

"Renge, are you alright?" Yuukio asked Monday afternoon in the club. The model had been busy all weekend and wasn't able to have a proper conversation with her best friend, and she could tell Renge was worried about something.

"Where's Xavier?" Haruhi questioned, looking around. She thought she would've gotten a text from the male that weekend, because he liked to text her about music, but she heard nothing from him. Renge was looking pale but also frustrated.

"Urg! He makes me so angry!" She exclaimed, fire coming out of her mouth. Tamaki hid behind Kyoya, scared. "So I get home Friday, expecting to see him there with his friends, but, no. He's not there. Neither are they." She crossed her arms and huffed. "A maid tells me that he came home, packed his backpack and told he he'd be fine and not to bother calling him. With that he was out the door and he hadn't been home since!"

"What?!" Tamaki exclaimed, now coming out of his hiding spot. How could their newest member disappear like that!? "Where is he!?"

"Oh, now? Now he's at home, sleeping away with them! He got in early this morning, right before I left for school. I should have made him come, but, I can't get him to do anything. They apparently took off and went to all these different places around Japan to 'explore'. I understand its summer vacation for them, but Xavier has his studies! Plus, he just can't up and leave!"

"I want to say I'm surprised…." Yuukio grumbled, patting Renge's back. "I'm going over there right now to talk to him." She puffed up her chest, angry. Xavier couldn't just leave like that! He had people that were going to worry about him, and he had to stop being selfish. He needed to learn how to at least be slightly responsible and be accountable for his actions.

"We're coming." The twins said together. Hikaru was into going for the entertainment, Kaoru more so to make sure no one was injured.

"I guess we're all going." Kyoya said as he glanced to the others.

* * *

Xavier's head was killing him, but that was probably the whiskey. He groaned, sitting up, surprised to find himself in his own bed. A male with blue hair that fell in his face, Isaac, was on the loveseat couch he had in his room. Stella, the pinked haired girl was curled up on his soft and fuzzy red rug on the floor, and Vinny, a tall, built, short haired brunette was in the bed next to him.

He stumbled out of bed and over to Stella, gently and slowly picking her up. He was a bit out of it, but he was able to carry her out of his room and into the guest room, setting her down on the bed. Her things had been brought to the room already by the maids, so he didn't have to worry about that. He walked back into his room, swatting at Isaac. "Go to your room." He told the male, who groaned. "You'll be more comfy."

"We're never listening to you again." Isaac got up, brushing past Xavier as he left the room. Xavier smirked, but shut the door after him. He trudged over to his bed and collapsed onto it, waking Vinny.

"Your breath smells awful." Vinny muttered as Xavier looked at him, gray eyes still glazed over. "You drank too much last night."

"I always drink too much according to you." Xavier told him. "I got them into their own rooms…..Renge will be home soon…" He laid back down, wanting to go back to sleep. They had stayed up all night and made it home just before crashing in his room.

"I'm usually right." Vinny told him as Xavier laid back down. "Then go to sleep. You'll have hell to pay when you wake up. Told you it was a bad idea."

"All my…ideas….are bad….ac…cording to you…" Xavier drifted off as he spoke, and was out cold before Vinny could reply.

* * *

"WAKE UP!" Yuukio screamed as she slammed Xavier's bedroom door open. Xavier and Vinny both shot up and tumbled out of bed into a heap of sheets and a tangled mess on the floor. "Uh…" She noticed another boy and suddenly wondered if she interrupted something.

"Hello, Vinny." Renge said as she saw the male pop his head out of the mess on the floor.

"Afternoon, Renge!" He called back as he tried to detangle himself.

"Fuck off." They heard Xavier as Vinny pulled the sheets off. Xavier appeared, hair going everywhere, dark bags under his bloodshot eyes. Vinny looked refreshed and in a good mood, the opposite of Xavier. "More sleep." He took hold of Vinny's arm, refusing to let go.

"Dude, come on." Vinny grumbled, shaking him off. "You're making me have a bad first impression!" Vinny looked to the group and back to his friend. "You're pathetic hung over, you know that?"

"I'm _always_ pathetic so that insult won't work on me." Xavier let him go and sat up, glaring at the group. "Why are you here in my room? I could've been having hot sex for all you lot know."

"We were not." Vinny slapped Xavier over the back of the head, sending the blond in a fit of groans to the floor. He stood now, leaving Xavier on the floor as he approached the group. He had green eyes and short, spiked up brown hair. He was tan with muscled arms and legs. He looked to be one of those guys that worked out every day. "Nice to meet you all, I'm Vinny." He shook their hands as they introduced themselves. He kept a smile on his face even as Xavier cursed at him.

"Vinny is the one that made sure Xavier didn't die while he was in America." Renge said, seeming to like Vinny.

"Good morning…" A girl with bright pink hair said as she came into the room. She was rubbing her face and froze when she saw the whole group. "Uh…I didn't know there was an audience."

"This is Stella. Stella, this is the club." Vinny told her and she looked to him before back to them.

"…..OH!" It hit her and she was shaking their hands immediately. "Sorry, I'm spacy when I wake up and I wasn't in the right mindset! So sorry for being rude!" She was smiling as well, and they wondered how Xavier had such polite friends. "Oh my god, Xavier, you didn't tell me Yuukio Kingsly went to your school!" She exclaimed when she shook hands with Yuukio. "I'm such a huge fan! You look so stunning in whatever you wear!"

"Why are you yelling?" They all turned to Isaac, who looked annoyed. "Oh." He looked to the club and then to Xavier, who was still on the floor.

"This is the club! And look! It's Yuukio, Isaac!" Stella exclaimed, excited. Isaac just looked at the club, nodded his head, and went over to help Xavier up.

"I actually don't go to the school. I just do work nearby and come join the club sometimes. It's so lovely to meet a fan!" Yuukio was probably more excited than Stella was at this.

"Okay, introductions are out of the way." Xavier was standing now, seeming more in touch with reality. "Why are you in my room?"

"I was going to get on to you for just skipping out and not letting Renge know where you were, but your friend is a darling!" Yuukio was far too good in a mood to yell at Xavier and was more focused on Stella.

"I'm almost eighteen I can do as I please. We went out to go have fun." Xavier shrugged, walking over to the group. "None of you lot were worried about me, so don't pretend you were." He brushed his hair out of his face. He was sort of right, but, they hadn't even known he had disappeared, so it wasn't very fair.

"Don't be so reckless." Haruhi told him, crossing her arms. "You're part of this club now, so you can't go disappearing on us. You made a commitment to show up to the club, and you left early Friday and didn't show up at all today."

"Sorry, Dove, but was I really that missed?" He looked grouchy and Haruhi knew she had to tread carefully. "Me leaving Friday was a tad rude, so I apologize for that, sort of, but, I was busy and Mondays are boring for the club. I need to have fun with these idiots before they had back to the states. It'll be a while before I get to join them for my summer break."

"Next time tell us, or at least Renge, where you're going. You had her worried sick." Haruhi was taking care of the lecturing quite well, and Renge and Yuukio were both impressed by this. More so impressed that Xavier was actually listening to the host.

"I'll try my hardest, though we had no clue where we were going. We just picked a place on the map." He yawned and cracked his back, wanting to go back to bed. "So, yay, you are all here and you know my best mates. Jolly good time." This was dripping with sarcasm.

"I wanted to see Yuukio throw something at him." Hikaru complained.


	5. Get In The Shower If It All Goes Wrong

**A balaclava is basically a ski mask.**

**Since I'm re-doing this story, I have a basic plot, but, I do want to hear feedback. Give some reviews! I need to know what yall like and dislike and ideas or if you're into what I'm writingggggg.**

**(more reviews means the 'fun' things might come sooner…..hehe jk they'll come at the right moment…and they'll be much BETTER THAN LAST STORY BECAUSE THESE FUN TIMES WILL BE VERY **_**REAL**_**)**

**Like c'mon hun buns, there's 69 of you following this storyyyyyyyy...can't I get some reviews from you? I wanna make this story enjoyable adn the best it can be...and I need yourrrrrr help!**

* * *

"John, right?" Xavier appeared in front of a male with long brown haired tied in a messy bun. The male looked startled when Xavier approached him, and almost dropped his books. "Easy, mate, I'm friends with your bird, Misaki. She's lovely, really. I'm Xavier, Xavier Houshakuji." He shook the male's hand, who was seeming to relax. "Misaki tells me you play saxophone. You any good?"

"I think I'm pretty good." He shrugged. Misaki had told him about Xavier.

"You want to play with my band and I at the Ouran Party this weekend? I got roped into becoming a Host because of my cousin, and roped into performing at this lil' party." Xavier knew he didn't need to explain it.

"Misaki told me." He nodded his head, relaxed about it. He never saw any of the boys here at Ouran as a threat. He had transferred in when his family told him he was set to marry the girl. He was worried, but once he met her and they hit it off, he knew he had nothing to worry about. He knew the Host Club was just a club, and that Xavier was extremely talented in music.

"Then it wouldn't hurt to make a connection like me, yeah? We might get each other places in the future." Xavier tempted this offer, knowing the male wasn't going to pass it up. "Plus, I believe we can be good mates."

"We'll see how practice goes first." John told him, smirking. He liked Xavier already.

"Today during club meetings. Ballroom five." Xavier told him and the two parted ways in the hallway.

* * *

"John and Xavier will be great friends, I'm sure of it!" Misaki cheered on Thursday. Since Xavier was busy at practice, she was sitting with Yuukio. She liked the other hosts, but none of them felt right except for Xavier. "I really want them to get along. I know Xavier is still sort of new, and I want him to like Ouran."

"You're way too sweet to him." Yuukio told her, shaking her head. "Don't spoil him. He's spoiled enough. With his friend Vinny around, Xavier turns into such a brat." She huffed, remembering how she joined them for dinner the night before. Vinny put up with Xavier so well. Yuukio thought that maybe Vinny just let Xavier walk all over him, but, Vinny was pretty stern with Xavier. "But I guess it can't be helped. Vinny is Xavier's rock."

"They're dating?" Misaki asked, cheeks bright pink. She had met Vinny when she walked John to the ballroom they were at. He was extremely attractive, and she could see the two of them being an item. Even in the short amount of time she was there, she saw how touchy they were with each other. She hadn't ever seen Xavier so comfortable with someone touching him before.

"Who? Vinny and Xavier? Nooooo." Yuukio shook her head. "Don't know what their relationship is, actually. They're pretty close. Almost as close as the twins."

"No one is as close as us." The twins said, arms around each other. They stuck their tongues out at her.

"Well…they don't touch as much as you two." Yuukio told them, adding some honey to her tea. "But they are close. I was barely there a few hours but I could even tell. They could be a thing….knowing Xavier, he's probably slept with all of them."

"How long have you known Xavier?" Misaki asked, stirring some sugar into her tea. She was very interested by Xavier. He had amazing stories, but never really revealed any personal information about himself.

"Hm..Well, I met Renge when I was about…eleven? Gee, it's been five years already." She smiled to herself, thinking it over. "I met Xavier at her family's Christmas. His parents were still together then, so they were both there with him. He wasn't very talkative, honestly." She told her before she took a sip of her tea. "He never seemed to be fully…there…you know what I mean? As we got older, he got cheekier. When his parents spilt, that's when he got worse."

"That's awful." Misaki sighed, feeling bad for Xavier. Divorce was never easy for a child.

"He didn't even want to be at the Christmas party then. He ignored just about everyone and when his Uncle on his mother's side came to get him, he bolted out of the place barely saying goodbye. He prefers his mother's side more." She nodded her head, taking a sip of her tea. "He was such a little flirt too!" He cheeks got red and she rolled her eyes. "Whenever I ran into him he would always hit on me. He's not my type, definitely. I want an actual relationship. He's incapable of them."

"Harsh, aren't you?" Haruhi questioned, bringing them cake to eat.

"If you basically grew up with him, you'd be this harsh too. He just…urg!" She was so frustrated and took a few big bites of her cake. "He just doesn't understand how life works, I'm convinced on that. I just….I don't like to sit by and let him do what he does. I want to control what he does and maybe then he'll start doing the right things."

"Hey, darling." John said, coming up to the table. He smiled at both of them, his hair back in its usual bun.

"Oh, John!" Misaki's face lit up and Yuukio smiled at the sweetness of the couple. "What are you doing here? I thought you were practicing?"

"We are, but, I told them I needed something to drink, so Xavier told me to go take a break and visit 'your bird'." He said, imitating the British accent Xavier had. "They're still practicing. Do you want to come watch?" He asked after Misaki let him drink the rest of her tea.

"I do." Yuukio stood, her tea and cake gone now. "I'm always up to see how he's improved."

"We should all go!" Tamaki told the room and the guests cheered, excited to see a sneak peak.

"Just got to be quiet, okay?" John told them as they all left the club room and made their way to ballroom five. He opened the door and led them into the dim, large room. They hung back by the doors as they heard chatting.

The stage was on the far end of the room, and the lights were on around the stage, but off everywhere else. Xavier was in the front, in front of the mic. His back was turned, with Vinny on his right, Isaac on his left, and Stella in the back on drums.

"Robbers, yeah?" He questioned, nodding his head. They started playing and Yuukio held back a squeal.

"I adore this song!" She exclaimed excited, not believing he was playing it. "He better not butcher it!"

"_She had a face straight outta magazine. God only knows but you'll never leave her. Her balaclava is starting to chafe and when she gets his gun he's begging, 'Babe, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay.'" _His voice was low and he held the mic in his hands, eyes closed. _"I'll give you one more time. We'll give you one more fight. Said one more line. Will I know you."_

"This is The 1975 right?" Haruhi asked as everyone watched. Yuukio nodded her head, into the song.

"_Now if you never shoot, you'll never know and if you never eat, you'll never grow. You've got a pretty kind of dirty face and when she's leaving your home she's begging you, 'Stay, stay, stay, stay, stay.' I'll give you one more time. We'll give you one more fight. Said one more line. Be a riot, cause I know you!"_ He pointed his finger as he opened his eyes and pulled his hand back slowly, completely into the song. His voice sounded so beautifully broken.

"_Well, now that you've got your gun. It's much harder now the police have come. Now I'll shoot him if it's what you ask, But if you just take off your mask! You find out everything's gone wrong.." _His voice grew soft at the end and he opened his eyes, gripping the mic tightly on the mic stand. _"Now everybody's dead! And they're driving past my old school. He's got his gun, he's got his suit on. She says, 'Babe, you look so cool, you look so cool, you look so cool, cool, cool, cool. You look so cool, you look so cool, you look so cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.'" _He sang with just as much emotion as the actual singer had and Yuukio was a little teary eyed.

The guests cheered loudly, forgetting they weren't supposed to be there. Xavier's head snapped up as he looked over at them.

"That was actually beautiful." Yuukio sighed, feeling much more relaxed now. "Like, really. He sang it so wonderfully. He pisses me off, but you can't deny that the boy has talent."

"Uh.." He mumbled into the mic, looking at them. "John, you bloody fool, I told you to bring your bird, not the entire club!"

"Sorry!" John replied, sheepishly grinning as he walked towards the stage. "But they loved it."

"You'll get to hear it again at the party. That counts as a love song, right?" He questioned, looking at them as the group walked towards the stage. Vinny smiled at them, waving.

"That? A love song?" Renge asked, shaking her head. "Xavier, that is not a love song."

"What do you mean it's not?" He smirked, shrugging. "I don't do love songs, Renge. It's close enough."

"I adore the song, but, even I know it's not a love song." Yuukio told him, crossing her arms. "But you did it justice, so, if you want to sing it again at the party, I won't argue."

"Oh, I got Yuukio's approval?" He smirked, winking at her. Kaoru frowned at him and he winked at Kaoru too. "I'll work a few more songs in there. C'mon, John, we got work to do." He pulled him onto the stage and nodded towards the door. "'Kay, you lot, get out."

"We were right to put him in charge of the music." Tamaki said confidently as they walked to the door.

"Like I said. If there's one thing he's actually serious about, it's music." Renge told them all as they started up another song.

* * *

"Hey, dove." Xavier caught Haruhi's attention as he walked up behind her. He had Stella, Vinny, and Isaac behind him. "You walk home?"

"Uh, yeah, if I can get Senpai to not force me into a car." She sighed, glancing at the four. "You guys sounded really amazing today."

"Thank you!" Stella beamed, her pink hair up in pigtails. "Zavy, you goin' walk home with Haruhi?"

"Yeah, dove can't walk home by himself." He said and smirked at Haruhi as a car pulled up. "You three go back home. I'll meet you there."

"Behave." Vinny warned as they climbed into the car and it drove off. Xavier chucked and put his hands in his pockets. The two walked in silence for a little bit.

"You didn't have to walk me home, you know." Haruhi told the male, but he shrugged.

"I know." He said. "But I like you. I don't want anything bad to happen to you, and I like walking. Clears the head much better than drinking." He chuckled at this and checked his phone before putting it back into his pocket. "So you liked our song today, yeah?"

"Yes, it was really good. You were really emotional in that song." Haruhi glanced at him and he was looking straight ahead. "You're an emotional singer, aren't you?"

"Sort of. Why sing if you don't put your entire heart into it?" He questioned back. "Music is a way of expressing yourself. You can't just get up there and sing, you have to feel it. Renge doesn't seem to understand that. I'm not some jukebox you put money into and I play songs." He looked frustrated when he said this. "I'm not a machine in that way. I just got back into singing and playing again.."

"You stopped?" Haruhi was surprised at this. He was so good at it, why would he stop?

"Things happen. I lost motivation. I got it back, but it's sort of hanging on a string." He confessed, surprising his own self with how much he was telling Haruhi. He wasn't an open book or one to just spout out everything about him…but…Haruhi was different. "Everything is hanging on a string. That's not important though. Why didn't you tell me you were working off a debt to the host club? I can't….well I can actually believe they're making you work to pay it off."

"It's gotten better since this is my second year doing it…"

"Good. I can't blame them for making you a host, you are a cute boy." Xavier said flirtatiously, but Haruhi brushed him off, denying him. He pouted, but it didn't seem to faze him too much. "You're like Yuukio. Always brushing off my advances. Guess I'll never get you in bed, yeah?"

"You're so dumb." She rolled her eyes, elbowing Xavier. "Is that all you talk about? Music, sex, and alcohol?"

"Yeah, and sometimes drugs, but, not that much, unless you mean prescribed medicine." He told her. "What else would you like to talk about, dove?"

"When did your parents' divorce?" She asked bluntly and he seemed taken back by that.

"You go for the hard questions right off the bat, don't you?" He muttered, pulling a cigarette out and lighting it quickly. He kept it in between his lips before taking it out, blowing smoke into the air. "Fifteen. Knew it was coming though. They were too different. Probably explains why I'm like the way I am." He took another drag, exhaling slowly.

"Are you and Vinny dating?"

"Woah!" He almost dropped his cigarette at this questioned. "Who the fuck told you that?"

"Yuukio and Misaki were talking about it."

"No, we aren't dating. He's my best mate, and that's it." He grumbled, shaking his head. His cheeks were red at this. "Everyone always asks that. He's just my mate. The best one I have, honestly. He's put up with a lot of bullshit, and I've only known him about two years."

"What bullshit does he put up with?"

"Ah, nothing you need to concern yourself with, dove." He's face went bright red as he led them across the street. "That is a conversation to have very, very, very far off in the future."

"You blush a lot for someone who sleeps around with people." She gave him a sideways look with raised eyebrows.

"Sex means nothing half the time. There's no emotions except for lust and jealously and anger." He took another drag as they entered her neighborhood. "I know in stories they make it when sex is between two people who love each other, but, I've only loved one person I've had sex with, and she loved someone else." He tossed the bud to the ground, stepping on it with his shoe. "Which is a shame, but that's life. Now, which one is your house?" With the change of topic, Haruhi knew he wouldn't answer anymore of her questions.


	6. Dog Won't Bark If You Don't Lark About

**You guys ROCK! Thanks so much for those reviews! I kind of got the same thing over and over again, which was more Hikaru, and I totally understand that. It's a little bit far off, but Ch.10 is going to be crammed with him, since Xavier is sort of a different character now, their friendship isn't so easy to start building, so I had to start the friendship a little bit later than last time.**

**Hope you guys are chill with that, because it will be worth it. A lot of characters are changed in this, and there's a few new ones thrown in too.**

**I know Yuukio is coming off meaner and less supportive, but it's all in character development.**

**And I hope you guys don't mind the upcoming chapters because they will be filled with Haruhi and Xavier bromance. Its really important to Xavier's character and trust me, the Hikaru and Xavier will be worth it.**

**Also, I don't know why, in mobile, the whole chapter was bolded….when I double checked it on my laptop after posting It, it wasn't bolded, so I'm assuming it was just mobile being odd.**

* * *

"Isn't this party awesome?" Yuukio questioned Haruhi, who was standing by the punch bowl, getting herself something to drink. "Xavier didn't spike the punch, did he?"

"Uh.." Haruhi didn't think the punch tasted odd. "Don't think so. He'd been up there on stage all night. It is a fun party though." The Host Club parties were always top notch. The whole night had been fun for everyone. She had thought Xavier and the others would get tired, but they were the most hyperactive ones in the room.

"Well good." She smiled as Tamaki twirled by with a guest. Everyone was having so much fun, it was going surprisingly smoothly.

"Haruhi, we should dance!" Hikaru grabbed her hand and pulled her to the floor, leaving Yuukio by herself by the punch. She smiled as Hikaru twirled Haruhi around, making the guests around them giggle and laugh. She poured a drink and sipped it.

"Damn Xavier." She grumbled, going off to tell Kyoya the punch was spiked.

* * *

"Yuukio ruined the partyyyy." Xavier chuckled, looking to Vinny as they were deciding what song to play next. He saw Yuukio glare at him as Kyoya got the punch removed and new punch put in. "It was only a dash of vodka. Not enough for these kids to get drunk off of. It was really for me." He smirked as Vinny shot him a look.

"That is pretty funny." Vinny broke his firm look to laugh. "It's pretty fun here."

"I'd rather be back home with you guys." Xavier replied, tapping his fingers against his guitar. "I'll be there once finals are over here. Just gotta finish this school year and we'll sign a contract and be the best band ever!"

"Yes!" Stella exclaimed, excited. She banged on the drums, letting them know she loved the plan. "What's the next song?"

"I dunno, what do you want to do, crumpet?" He questioned and Stella smiled at the pet name.

"Crumpet still doesn't flow. Keep working on it." She told him, spinning a drum stick in her hand. "You want me to take over to sing so you can go dance?"

"No?" He questioned, confused why she asked it. "Why would I? The only guests that like me that much have their own blokes. I'm not needed here." He told her and looked out over the room. Hikaru had his arm around Haruhi, looking to be waiting for them to play. "Ah, we better jump on it." He smirked and glanced back at them.

They began to play and Haruhi was twirled around by Hikaru, before she lightly hit his arm, telling him it was a slow song.

"_She had a face straight out a magazine…"_

Hikaru remembered it as the song they had heard earlier and slowed down, feeling embarrassed when they began to slow dance. He suddenly felt like everyone was watching them and he wasn't too sure he wanted that. He quickly passed Haruhi off to a guest standing by the sides. He grabbed another guest, feeling much better as he danced with her. She was giggling and happy, but he kept glancing at Haruhi, who looked at him, a little confused, but turned her attention to her own guest.

"_Stay, stay, stay…"_

He felt really embarrassed now that he did it, but he didn't know what else to do. He knew he liked Haruhi. That was made obvious by Kaoru last year, but, he wasn't sure how to go about it. He wanted to branch out and try, but, he was lost when it came to these things.

"Your buddy over there is hopeless." Vinny mumbled to Xavier once the song was over. He glanced at Vinny, smirking and laughing at Hikaru's red face. "Maybe you could help him out?"

"With what? Getting my lil' dove to show him some affection?" Xavier questioned, wanting a fag right about now. "That's his bloody problem."

"Awah, come on, Zavy." Stella said, looking at how awkward Hikaru looked. "Least teach him the ropes."

"Like how to fuck?" He smirked and Vinny shook his head. "I'm too fucked up to help these love birds. Next song." He turned back around and started playing his guitar, grabbing everyone's attention as Stella banged on the drums.

"_Show us off to all your friends! We're the trophy boys from here to if and when. We break and break your dreams of keeping us a secret! We're the back-pocket believers, we're the locals who went postal. Call it treasons while you can! I'm just a face for every picture, a smile for your scrap-book and a story to be told, and told, but, I'm loving every second! So commemorate this hour as the last I spent regretting what I have." _Xavier sang, smiling widely as he played.

"This music is…" Kyoya grumbled, not pleased.

"_Boys, raise your glasses, girls, shake those.." _He winked at this part_. "We're the party, you're the people; let's make this night a classic. We play, you move. We're the party, you're the people, and this is how we, this is how we do!"_ He sang throwing his fist in the air.

"So him." Yuukio said before Kaoru dragged her out onto the dance floor.

* * *

"When will this hell be over with?" Xavier grumbled as he walked the halls with Haruhi and John. Students stayed clear of the two tall boys and Haruhi. It was Tuesday and Xavier was in a piss poor mood after sending his friends back to America.

"We have one month until you are free to go wherever you want." Haruhi rolled her eyes and John chuckled at the impatient male. "You should focus more on finals than going out and partying."

"I need a break. I've never gone to school this much." He whined to his two friends, shaking his head. "You lads got to understand, I barely went to school back in England. It didn't fit my fancy and I just didn't care. I know all I need to know about music, so that place was pointless and boring. I don't really care here, but dove, I'm doing this for your sake." He looked to Haruhi. "I can't just leave you with those babbling idiots for a few hours every day. Just isn't fair."

"Thanks, but you need to actually pass your classes you know." Haruhi reminded them as they reached John's classroom. They waved goodbye to him and continued on to the library. They both had a class break at the same time, so they often ended up going to the library together.

"I'm passing. Just by the skins of my teeth, which is fine by me." He shrugged, holding the door open for her. They went to their usual table up the stairs and towards the back where there was very little traffic. Xavier liked to be away from everyone, mostly because he napped, and Haruhi liked the peace and quiet the area had.

"So, did they all make it back home safely?" Haruhi asked as she grabbed a notebook and a few pens out of her bag. She knew Xavier probably didn't show up to school the previous day to spend more time with his friends.

"Yeah…" He mumbled, jiggling his leg. "They left around midnight on Sunday...and then I got drunk so I don't really remember getting a call from Vinny saying they landed safely, but, my phone shows he and I talked so I'm assuming I was too drunk."

"You drink too much." She shook her head at him, a little disappointed in his behavior. He was too young to be drinking himself to death.

"It's what I doooo." He told her not seeming too care too much. "I like havin' them 'round, you know?" He put his head on the table, sort of resembling a small child.

"I know that you really love them a lot. You let them hug you and touch you and you always looks at them so fondly." She replied and he looked a little embarrassed, but shrugged it off.

"That's what best mates do. Your lads look at you like you're the world to them. It's cute, border lining revolting." He smirked when she stopped her writing to look at him. "Guess they're all a little bit homo for you."

"Oh I'm sure." She muttered, wondering if now was the best time to tell Xavier. They were friends, right? He was part of the host club, and it wasn't fair that almost everyone knew except him. She mulled it over for a few minutes, deciding it was a good time to tell him, but when she looked up, mouth open, but he was gone. His bag was still there, so she assumed he went to the bathroom.

She sighed and got up as well, needing a book. They were near the section, luckily, but it was on a higher shelf. She pushed her chair over to it and stood on the chair, balancing on her tippy toes to try and reach the book. She was so close to it, but the chair tipped and she fell.

"Dove!" Xavier exclaimed, catching her before she hit the ground. They both froze when they felt his hands on her chest. "O-Oh shit, I didn't know!" He explained and pulled his hands back, taking a step back as well. "You a bird? Are you pretending to be a bloke? Or do you want to be a bloke?" He questioned, eyebrows furrowed. "I won't tell anyone, that ain't my business!"

"I was going to tell you but you got up and left." Haruhi brushed herself off, a little embarrassed he had to find out that way. "I'm not trying to become a boy. When I broke the vase, they all thought I was a boy, so I kind of just went with it. They all know now, well, Tamaki, Hikaru, Kaoru, and Kyoya know. Renge and Yuukio don't."

"I knew you were pretty feminine for a lad." He grumbled, really embarrassed. "Sorry for grabbing your chest like that."

"I-It's fine, it was by accident. I should be thanking you for catching me." She told him, returning to their table. He followed after he picked the book she was trying to get.

"Next time wait for me to return, dove. That's way too dangerous." He handed her the book and sat down. "I'm all for doing things yourselves, but you can ask for help."

"I didn't know when you'd be back." She told him, flipping the book open. "Senpai isn't going to be too thrilled when he finds out you know."

"Well I'm a Host now too, so, he can get over it. That really explains all the looks they give you." He mumbled this, thinking it over. Tamaki obviously liked Haruhi, but the poor git probably didn't realize it. Hikaru liked her too, and Xavier suspected that Hikaru might understand his feelings.

Then, he had Yuukio and Kaoru in their awkward flirting stage, Renge who was obsessed with Haruhi, and Kyoya seemed to dislike all of them.

"You lot are all hopeless." He rolled his eyes at the thought, his head hurting.

"You're the hopeless one." Haruhi told him, eying him. "Hey…you know…I don't understand why you left the club early the Friday before last?" She questioned, still wondering about it. "Misaki thought she upset you."

"Ah, no…." He looked embarrassed. "She has Mona's eyes." He referred back to his ex-girlfriend. "That kind of soft forest green. It was just weird and I felt kind of shitty anyway."

Haruhi wanted to ask more, but she figured he wouldn't answer. Still, she wanted to know if Mona was the one he loved that didn't return the feelings.

* * *

The other Hosts seemed to take Xavier finding out about Haruhi being a female alright. Of course, the two didn't tell them _how _he found out, because they, at least Hikaru and Tamaki, would be pissed as hell.

Hikaru didn't like Xavier knowing, but, he supposed it didn't matter. Xavier didn't care about gender, it was more on how attractive you were to him that caught his attention.

"Renge…who is Mona?" Haruhi questioned while Xavier was busy with Abby and Misaki. Renge was talking about a new otome game with Yuukio when Haruhi asked her this.

"Monique is my best friend. She goes to the school Xavier used to go to. She and Xavier dated for about six months. They broke up around the time he went to America I believe." She thought about it for a few seconds. "It was a very good relationship at the start, but it got horrible towards the end. Xavier completely destroyed Mona."

"It was pretty bad…" Yuukio was friends with Monique as well, mostly because she was best friends with Renge.

"Destroyed her?" Haruhi questioned, pulling out a chair and sitting with them now, interested.

"Xavier was never one for relationships. He slept around and fooled around, but Mona was his first real girlfriend. We were really surprised, because….they…."

"They are nothing alike." Yuukio helped Renge out. "Mona is very, or was very, innocent and sweet, and we all know Xavier."

"I don't know the exact details, Mona doesn't like talking about it, but she says Xavier really ruined things for her. She hasn't had a boyfriend since. I know she was seeing a guy, sort of…he was a bit older than her though…but I don't know what really happened."

"She just told me he was a terrible boyfriend to her. Said he cheated on her towards the end and always fought with her." Yuukio looked at Xavier, sipping her tea. "Mona is a bit over dramatic though…"

This couldn't be the girl Xavier was talking about earlier then. He said he loved her and she didn't return the feelings, and from the sound of this, Mona loved Xavier and he didn't return the feelings.

"Sounds like him." Hikaru grumbled, getting envious over all the attention Haruhi was giving to Xavier. Was what so great about him anyway?


	7. Oh My Broken Veins Say

**I love you guysssss! The next two chapters will mostly be bromance but whatever~! Thanks for all the reviews! They are super helpful! If you have any questions you can PM on here, or if you prefer, you can send me an anon message on my tumblr! (link to that is on my profile!)**

* * *

Haruhi watched Xavier as he interacted with his guests. She had so many questions she wanted to ask him, but she knew he wouldn't answer her. She wanted to be better friends with him, because she knew he wasn't as bad as the rumors said he was. She also believed in having both sides of a story before she came to a conclusion. She had Renge's and Yuukio's side of Mona's story, but she wanted Xavier's side.

"What are you looking at?" Hikaru asked. Kaoru was right beside him, as always in the club.

"Yeah, what are you looking at with such an intent gaze?" Kaoru questioned, looking at his friend.

"Nothing." Haruhi shrugged, knowing the twins wouldn't understand, or care, really. They didn't find Xavier very interesting to mess with, but, it was probably because they didn't even try to really talk to him. She felt like she was the only one who actually tried to befriend him, and Xavier wasn't that bad. He obviously had issues and he wasn't dealing with them well. He seemed like he hid behind alcohol and sex and sarcastic lines to make himself seem fine, but she doubted that he was fooling anybody.

"What's so special about him?" Hikaru muttered, crossing his arms when he saw that Haruhi was watching Xavier. Haruhi spent far too much time with Xavier and Hikaru hated that.

"Maybe if you actually talked to him, you'd know." Haruhi wasn't happy with how Hikaru asked that. She didn't understand why Hikaru hated Xavier so much. "Go back to entertaining your guests."

"Xavier, summer break is coming up." Renge said as she stood behind Xavier's usual couch. He, Misaki, and Abby looked at her.

"You don't have to remind me." He looked so happy and Haruhi had a feeling it was going to get crushed. He had two weeks left and had actually been studying for his exams with Haruhi in the library the past two weeks.

"You're coming back home, right?" She questioned, referring to Paris.

He gave her a confused look, shaking his head. "Uh…no. I'm going to go travel with my mates." He told her slowly, as if she wouldn't understand.

"Well, their break ends before ours." Renge replied. "You aren't going to come back home?"

"Uh.." He glanced to his guests, wondering why Renge always started this personal conversations at school and not back at the house in private.

"But what about your birthday? You aren't going to spend it with your family?" She looked upset at this.

Xavier sighed. "Can we talk about this at home, Renge?" He questioned, glaring at her. "I don't see why you feel the need to discuss private business in public."

"It's not private business. We're all talking about what we're doing for the summer." Renge told him and she was right. Everyone had been buzzing about what to do during the summer, especially since today was the last day for clubs until summer break was over.

"I'm going somewhere with my mates. I'm not spending my birthday at home. I'll be eighteen so I want to actually celebrate it." He told her, rolling his eyes. "I'll spend the rest with Jackal and mum in Paris if that pleases you."

"What about uncle?"

"He's busy. I'm not a child anymore, Renge, he doesn't need me hanging around at his place, nor do I want to be there." He was really frustrated now, border line angry. He didn't want to talk about this now, or ever, with his cousin. He didn't want to go spend time with his father and his father's side of the family. He wanted to be with his friends and then go spend time with his uncle, Jackal, and his mother. "Aren't you going to be spending your summer with Monique?"

"Well…yes…but.."

"Then don't worry about me. I don't even want to be in the same country as her." He turned back around, ending the conversation. He felt awkward now and his mood was shot. He needed to cool down and try to control the mood swing, but he was feeling a bit stressed about finals and where he was going to go during summer. He knew he'd end up in France at some point, but he didn't want to be with his father's side.

"So…where are you and your friends going this summer?" Abby questioned, hoping Xavier wasn't too angry.

"I was thinking Italy…Vinny always talked about wanting to go there." Xavier told her, shrugging. He was feeling better already. "Stella wants somewhere sunny, Isaac doesn't care."

"That sounds like fun! Italy is so beautiful in summer." Abby smiled and Haruhi remembered why she hated all these rich people.

"Dove, you should come with us." He said, glancing to Haruhi, who seemed surprised by his offer. "It's only for ten days. They have to get back to school at the start of August."

"Uh…" She replied, not sure what to say. Xavier could feel Hikaru and Tamaki glaring at him. God, they had it bad.

"You can't take my Haruhi out of the country!" Tamaki whined, hugging Haruhi tightly. "Haruhi can't go anywhere without us!" He definitely didn't want Xavier being alone with Haruhi.

"Well you all are most definitely not invited." He grumbled, rolling his eyes. Haruhi needed a good vacation, and why couldn't she go with them? They all loved Haruhi and Xavier enjoyed her. "Dove, it's up to you. I'm not askin' for an answer now, but, we'd have fun."

"You can seriously be thinking about going!" Hikaru whispered to her as Xavier turned back to his guests. Haruhi actually looked like she was considering it. "You don't know him!"

"I know him better than you do, and don't tell me what to do. Both of you." She ordered, pushing Tamaki off of her. She glared at both of them, hating that they were trying to tell her what to do. Going to Italy might not be so bad, especially with Xavier and his friends. They weren't snooty and it wouldn't be boring. They'd actually do things and have fun.

"I'll think about it, thank you." She said and Xavier wasn't too surprised. He knew Tamaki and Hikaru were glaring daggers at him, but he didn't care.

* * *

"Okay, dove, what's the plan?" He asked her the last day of school. Both were done with their exams and were walking outside, getting ready to leave. He really wanted Haruhi to come with him and enjoy herself.

"Well…" She mumbled, looking at him. "I don't have much else to do this summer, and Italy is a very beautiful place." She had talked it over with her father for a while, and he was fine with it, as long as he got to meet Xavier. "My dad just wants to meet you. If he likes you, I can go."

"Hell yeah!" He smiled widely and put his arm around her, pulling her close to his side. This was the first time he had ever been this happy with Haruhi, or even hugged her or touched her like this. "Stella is so excited. She thinks you're so adorable, plus, she always wanted another bird in the crew."

"I'm happy to come. Come on, my dad should be home now." She said as they left the school and started the walk back to her place. Xavier walked her home a lot. Sometimes they talked, sometimes it was silent, but it was always pleasant.

"The lads won't be too happy." Xavier started after a few minutes of comfortable silence. His arm was still around her, but she didn't mind it.

"They can get over it. They're going off to do their own things, so it's not like me going out of the country will ruin any plans." She rolled her eyes, thinking about the guys. Kaoru might be a little upset, but she knew he was more focused on spending time with Yuukio. Kyoya didn't care much either. Tamaki and Hikaru would be the ones upset, but, she didn't care.

"Oh I'm sure it will. Heard them talkin' about inviting you to join them on their vacations." He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it. "I beat them to it, it seems." He inhaled and exhaled, sighing as he did so. He held it in his hand as he dropped his arm to the side, his other arm still around her. "Figured you wanted some time from them. Nice bunch, but too overbearing."

"You don't like that much, do you?" She asked him and he took another slow drag.

"I can't handle people breathing down my neck or questioning my moves. I do things at my own pace. It's my life and no one should be concerned with how I live it." He exhaled the smoke through his nose, thinking. "I just want…I dunno." He told her and tossed his cigarette to the ground, crushing it with his foot as they continued to walk. "Hope your dad likes me." He changed the topic and Haruhi knew not to ask anymore questions.

When Xavier changed the topic, he was done with that subject and didn't want to talk about it anymore. She never pushed it and would move on to whatever topic he started. "I think he will."

"Parents don't tend to like me." He pulled his arm away from her as they approached her house. He followed her up the stairs, looking at everything.

"My dad isn't that normal…" She told him, unlocking the door and stepping in. They took off their shoes and entered the home.

"I like it." Xavier told her, nodding his head as he took it all in.

"Dad? Hey, I brought a friend home!" Haruhi called, wondering where her father was. "Do you want some tea or anything?"

"Nah dove, I'm fine. Thank you." He was so polite to her and nice to her, she couldn't understand why the others didn't like him.

"Oh sweetie you're home!" Her father came out from his room and bounded over to her in full drag. Xavier's eyes went wide, but he regained his compose when her father turned to face him. "Who is this?"

"I'm Xavier Houshakuji." He extended his hand out and smiled as he shook his hand.

"He's Renge's cousin from England, dad. He's the one who offered to take me to Italy." Haruhi explained and her father smiled at him.

"That was very nice of you….who will be going on this trip?" Xavier wasn't too surprised when her father shot him a look, his smile gone.

"Three of my best mates from America and my uncle Jackal. We're meeting my friends, Stella, Vinny, and Isaac over there, along with my uncle. We'll only be there about ten days or so. My friends live in America, so, they go back to school soon." Xavier told him, keeping his smile on his face. Parents were tricky to handle at times, but being friendly and polite was always good. "We'll be staying in Rome, mostly. My mother might actually come down and join us if she has time."

"That sounds good…." Her father trailed off, giving Xavier a look over. He was far different than the other boys she had brought home from school. He didn't seem like a complete and total idiot. "Will you call me every day?" He turned to Haruhi now.

"Of course. I'll buy you lots of gifts too." She smiled and he hugged her.

"You're just so cute!" He squealed, spinning her around. Xavier chuckled at Haruhi's face. "Then fine, I'll let you go! Italy is a wonderful place and you need to see the world!"

"Awesome! Thank you sir." Xavier told him, shaking his hand again. "Well, dove, you should pack. The flight leaves soon."

"Dove? Oh, how charming!" Her father cooed as his daughter went to go back. "Your accent is lovely!"

"Thank you. I attended a Fine Arts boarding school in England since I was ten. The accent kind of just stuck with me." He was going to be polite as possible, but he was starting to get a bit uncomfortable. "Our flight will be leaving at eight tonight, first class, of course. Nothing but the best for dove."

"What a cute petname!" Haruhi rolled her eyes as she heard her father fawn over Xavier. She knew her father was going to let her go, so, she had already packed everything she needed. She changed quickly and came out with her small rolling luggage case before her father could prod into Xavier's life anymore.

"Bye dad." She said and he hugged her tightly. "I love you and I'll call you as soon as I can." She muttered into his shoulder. Xavier smirked at her. "Dad…." She grumbled when Xavier gave her a look. "Dad…"

"I'll just miss you!" He exclaimed, continuing to hug her.

"You won't get to miss me if you don't let go." She replied and he let her go, sniffling a bit. Xavier held the door open for her and took her luggage for her, waving at her father before shutting the door.

"Okay so…" Xavier didn't even know what to say about that. "Your father…you know what, whatever…" He was at a total loss for words. "I just….he was so much like Tamaki, dove."

"Don't remind me." She muttered as she walked down the stairs. "I can carry my own suitcase."

"Dove, please, you're a lady." He was surprised to see her dressed so cutely. "You are lovely."

"You're not getting in my pants." She grumbled as a black car pulled up. She sent Xavier a questioning look as the driver got out.

"Called us a car while you were taking your sweet time packing your items." He handed the suitcase off to the driver and motioned for Haruhi to get into the car. He followed her in and shut the door behind her. "So, here's the legit plan."

"What do you mean?" She asked, confused.

"The plane leaves…in two hours." He looked at his phone and spoke in French to the driver once he was back in the car. "We're stopping by the house so I can get out of this awful uniform and grab my suitcase, then we're flying off to Italy. My uncle Jackal will not be there and we'll be hitting up every major city, two days each, before settling in Rome for the last three days.

"What?"

"Your father would never have let you go if I was honest, and you know that. We'll be safe. Vinny and Stella have everything planned, but don't worry, there's down time so you can do whatever you want. If there's somewhere else you want to go there, we can go. Just because the others leave to go back to school, doesn't mean we have to." He told her with a shrug, fumbling around on his phone. "The plans are kind of loose…we have things we want to do and see, but, it's all likely to change. They wanted me to pick since my birthday is coming up, but I don't care. Birthdays are nothing."

"When is your birthday?" She asked, wondering if she should have gotten him a present. "And that all sounds fine I guess. I get what you mean about my dad."

"It's July twenty-second. I didn't want you to lie to him, so I figured I'd do all the lying and just tell you later." He then spoke again to the driver in French and got out of the car. Haruhi played around on her phone, choosing to ignore the texts from Hikaru and Tamaki.

Neither knew she had decided to go with Xavier, and they would be pissed when Xavier started posting pictures of them together in Italy on Instagram, but, they could grow up a bit. She wasn't under their control and she really wanted to go to Italy. If she went with any of the others, it wouldn't be as much fun. She wanted to really experience Italy and go try things and not vacation like an overly rich teenager.

Xavier was back in the car before she knew it and they were off again.

"You tell the lads yet?" He questioned, his eyes on her.

"I want to be out of the country before I let them know."

"You are so wise, dove. Oh, and I got you a passport. Can't believe those gits tried to keep you from having one."

* * *

"This is amazing." Haruhi said, looking out the window of her hotel room. She had slept on the flight over and was ready to hit the ground running. The others hadn't arrived yet, but Xavier knew Haruhi was inching to go out.

"You want to go explore?" He questioned, amused at her reaction. She looked so enchanted by everything, and they had just gotten here.

Currently they were in Florence. Haruhi's view was of a plaza with a huge fountain in the middle. She loved it. She was sure she should probably take today easy. She needed to call her dad and shower and contact the guys to let them know where she was, but, she wanted to go out.

"How about you chill for an hour or two? It's only nine in the morning here." He said, seeing her conflicted face. "Go look up in that book of yours you brought of things you want to do here. Stella and the lads will be here soon, so we can go out then. If we don't have time to do all the things you want, you and I will come back once they go back home."

"Are you sure?" Haruhi asked, surprised at how nice he was being. He wasn't even letting her pay for a thing.

"Of course, dove. You've been a much needed friend in Japan." He looked away as he pulled out a cigarette. "You're quite fun to spoil, you're so thankful for everything."

"Gee, thanks." She grumbled, feeling a little stupid.

"No, don't take it the wrong way. You just…" He shrugged, not sure how to explain it. "I like you." He said simply, not knowing how else to put it. "You're different." He stretched, cracking his back. "Urg, I'm showering. I still smell like Japan and airplane." He chuckled and left the room.

* * *

"This place is heaven." Stella sighed happily. They were in Venice now, walking along an open string of shops and restaurants.

Florence was beautiful and a blast, and Venice was going the same way. "C'mon, Zavy, what to do you wanna do? It's your birthday trip!"

"Stop calling it that. It's _our_ summer trip." He told her, shaking his head, water bottle in his hand as he took another sip. He hadn't been smoking or drinking nearly as much as he did in Japan, even on his birthday. He drank maybe three drinks and stopped there.

He was totally different with his friends. Haruhi could tell this even though they had been here four days. He was much more…..stable. He didn't seem so on edge or moody as he was back in Japan.

"Dove?" Xavier snapped Haruhi out of her thoughts. "You hear me?"

"No, sorry." She smiled, a little embarrassed. They were all looking at her now. "What did you say?"

"Anything you want to do?" Vinny asked her as a group of girls walked by him, smiling at him. He smiled back and looked to Haruhi, the same smile on his face. "Xavier doesn't care, as usual."

"I care about things, but, I've been to Italy before. I've done the whole 'rich vacation'. I'm happy following you lot 'round." He told them, shaking his head.

"Well, I have some things I wanna see." Vinny led them off and Xavier walked next to him, bumping shoulders with his friend. Vinny bumped him back, and Haruhi watched them as they talked. The two never seemed to run out of things to talk about.

She was starting to wonder if they were a thing or if they were a thing in the past. She wasn't sure how to ask, or if she even should ask. What if they had dated in the past and it was awkward to talk about? Well, it probably wouldn't be awkward if it did happen. They were still close, if it did happen, but, maybe she was wrong about it?

She decided to think about something else as her phone rang. She sighed, wanting to throw it against the street. "It's Senpai." She grumbled, catching Xavier's attention.

The club, mostly Tamaki and Hikaru, had not been pleased to find out she was in Italy. Tamaki threw a huge fit, and so did Hikaru. Since then, Hikaru had been constantly texting her and Tamaki had been constantly calling her.

"Ignore it. You'll see him soon." Xavier told her and she put the phone back in her pocket. She was having so much fun and she wasn't going to let the two males ruin it.

"Let's get some gelato!" Stella hooked her arm around Haruhi, giggling.

* * *

The trip had been absolutely amazing. They had done so much in such a short period of time and Haruhi had so much fun with them. They were so down to earth and playful and different than the guys.

She hated to admit it, but she did miss them a little. She would never tell them that though.

"You wanna stay a few more days?" Xavier asked her after they said goodbye to the gang. She knew he was probably a little sad, but they promised to visit during their Thanksgiving break, so Xavier was holding onto that.

"Do you?" Haruhi asked as the car they were in pulled up to their hotel in Rome. She was sure her dad was fine with her staying another day or two. She was fine with it, but she thought Xavier was going to go home.

"I mean.." He trailed off. He didn't want to go back to France yet. He got out of the car with her and stretched, yawning. "It's up to you, dove. I have nowhere to rush off to."

Haruhi wondered if Xavier would keep his good mood going. She liked to see him happy and smiling, not moody and frustrated like he always seemed to be. "Aren't you going to visit your mom and uncle?"

"Oh yeah…" He mumbled, leading Haruhi into the hotel. "Guess I need to book a flight to Paris. Are you okay with flying back home by yourself?" He asked when they entered the elevator. "Or…do you want to join me in Paris?"

"Paris?" She questioned, eyebrows raised. Was he really asking if she wanted to go to France with him?

"Just askin', dove. I can understand if you're homesick. I just didn't know if you'd want to come along with me." He shrugged, looking a bit embarrassed. "I like having you around. You're very….." He trailed off as the elevator dinged and the doors opened to their floor. He led them out and down the hallway to their rooms.

Xavier really liked Haruhi. She was logical, collected, and never didn't get carried away with her emotions. She was the exact opposite of Xavier in every way.

"Your mother won't mind?" She asked when they stopped at her room. "I don't want to intrude…"

"My mum would love you." He told her, smirking. "She'd think you're the cutest thing and whine and beg me to marry you. Sorry dove, but you aren't my type."

"Darn." She chuckled, smiling at him. "I'm sure my dad won't mind."

"Just tell him my mother loved you so much she wants to take you back to Paris to spend more time with you." He told her easily, shrugging. "Tell me how it goes and I'll book the tickets."


	8. You Know Where The City Is

**Hikaru fun times will start soon.**

* * *

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE IN PARIS!?" Hikaru and Tamaki shouted over the phone at Haruhi. She was sitting in her guest room at Xavier's mother's place, on the phone with them. Xavier was on the balcony, smoking and laughing at Haruhi's expression.

"He invited me to come meet his mother." She said like it was the simplest thing in the world. "I had no other plans and my dad didn't mind."

"YOU DIDN'T ASK US!?"

"Why would I?" She replied coldly. "You two aren't my parents. I'm having a lot of fun with Xavier." She rolled her eyes, looking at Xavier as he blew out smoke, looking over the city. "I've got to go. Bye!" She hung up before they could argue, and groaned, laying back on the comfy bed. The room was gorgeous, with red and gold accents everywhere.

The whole house was beautiful, actually. Haruhi was so impressed by how nice it was, but what did she except, honestly?

"Your house is nice." She told Xavier when he finished his smoke and returned inside.

"Not my house." He replied, pulling out a stick of gum from his pocket and chewing it. "Mom's house." He looked a little distant. "I hate that you can't dress all cutely, dove." He didn't like gender neutral clothes on Haruhi. Of course, when he saw the ugly sweater she was going to wear, he immediately took her shopping for more clothes so she could pretend to be a boy if she ran into Renge, which was a high possibility.

"You're starting to sound like Tamaki. This isn't your childhood home?" She questioned, sitting up now.

"No. It was sold after the divorce." He told her, chewing the gum. "Look, dove, I'd love it if you didn't mention how much I smoke…and drink to my mum. I just….I don't want her to worry about me, yeah?" He looked so serious now.

"She doesn't know?" Haruhi watched him avoid her eyes, looking elsewhere. "Xavier, if you want me to lie for you, you need to be honest with me. We're friends right?"

"Of course, dove." He looked at her now, a pained expression as he let out a deep sigh. "I'm as honest as I can be with you. Things aren't easy for me, alright?"

"I'm not asking you to tell me everything all at once, Xavier. Just a little at a time." She told him. "Is that too much to ask?"

"No….you just gotta understand dove, I'm not…I'm not all here." He pointed to his head. "But I'm a little more here when I'm with you, which is really weird for me but I'm getting used to it. Give me some time." He heard a knock on the door and the maid came in.

"The lady of the house has arrived." She said in French and Haruhi was happy she studied French so much.

"Come along." He held his hand out to Haruhi and she took it. He pulled her off the bed and out of the room. "My mother is a bit…" He trailed off as he pulled her down the hallway. Haruhi felt nervousness in the pit of her stomach.

Xavier never spoke about his mother, and with how he was, she could be mean and strict. She felt like Xavier knew she was nervous, because his thumb began to do circular motions on her hand, calming her down. "Dove, relax." He whispered in her in as they waited in the main foyer.

The front door opened and a woman hurried in. Her hair was a golden blonde, much like Xavier's, and was curled and bouncy. She was slim and pushed her black sunglasses up onto her face. Haruhi looked at her face as she had her bags and jacket taken by the maids. She had smooth skin and her eyes were just like Xavier's.

"My little blue bird!" She exclaimed, her voice was smooth and friendly as her heels clacked against the floor. She ran at Xavier and wrapped her arms around him tightly. "I've missed you so much! How is that Japanese school treating you? It was all your father's idea!" She let him go and looked him over, holding his face in her hands. "I hate not getting to see you! I don't like you being on the other side of the world so far away from meee!"

"I know, mum, I miss you too." His cheeks were red and Haruhi held back her laugh. It was just so funny to watch Xavier being doted on by his mother. "This is Haruhi. She's a part of the club Renge and I are in.." He directed his mother's attention from him to Haruhi.

"Oh my god." His mother said, looking at her. "She is a doll!" She hugged Haruhi excitedly. "I'm Jacqueline! But please, call me Jackie. It's so wonderful to meet you!" She was so excited her son brought home a friend, a girl at that!

"We're not dating." He told her and she let go of Haruhi to look at him. "And we will never date. She went with the mates and I to Italy and I offered to show her Paris too." He explained. "And if Renge asks, Haruhi is a boy." He told her and she just looked at him, but didn't question it. Haruhi was sure she was used to Xavier's shortness at times and his mood swings.

"Fine fine…but I do what to hear the story behind that." She smiled at Haruhi, her smile was bright.

"You're nothing like I imagined you to be like." Haruhi told her truthfully, really loving her already.

"I like to surprise people." She smirked and Haruhi saw Xavier in her. "My family is anything but ordinary, but I'm sure you know that from Xavier."

"Sort of. He doesn't talk about his family much." Haruhi told her and she gasped, looking at him.

"Are you embarrassed about us, my little blue bird?" She questioned jokingly as someone else entered the house. "Oh, Jackal!" She turned and looked at the man who entered.

He had darker blond hair pulled back in a bun, with a little facial hair on his chin. He had Jackie and Xavier's eyes, but his cheekbones were more defined, like Xavier's. Her actually looked a lot like Xavier as well, and how he walked, with confidence but an air of trouble, was just like Xavier.

"Sorry I'm late, but I did arrive." He joked and kissed Jackie's cheek and smiled at Xavier. "Who is this?" He looked at Haruhi, confused. "Oh, you bring a girl home?"

"Not like that." Xavier rolled his eyes, elbowing the man. "This is my friend, Haruhi, from Japan."

"Ah, hello, I'm this idiot's uncle, Jackal." He shook her hand, his grip firm. He seemed like a really good guy. "It's a shame you aren't dating her, she seems like a lovely girl."

"She is, but, she isn't my type." Xavier seemed a bit annoyed with that, but shrugged it off.

"How about we get some lunch?" Jackie suggested. "We should go to this cute café I found the other day." She was already going off to get a maid to fetch her bag and jacket again, going on about this café.

"She really did miss you, kid." Jackal said, ruffling Xavier's hair. "I can agree and say I don't like you being in Japan. I can't hop on a train and visit you for the weekend. I can't keep a good eye on you either. How has he been?" He turned to Haruhi.

"He's been coming to school. I think he's doing pretty decently." Haruhi told him and he nodded his head.

"Lay off the booze and cigarettes though." He hit Xavier's chest. "You worry me with how much you're like me."

"You turned out fine, I'm not worried." Xavier shrugged and Jackal rolled his eyes.

* * *

Eating at the café was nice, except for the part where paparazzi trailed them everywhere and photographed their whole meal. Xavier kept Haruhi pulled against his chest when they went to leave the café a few hours later, keeping her out of the bright flashes of the cameras.

He made her sit in the middle of the car and blocked the window on his side with his back, fuming. "This is why I hate Paris." He muttered to her, shaking his head. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She was a bit startled and she hated the cameras, but she felt bad that Xavier and his family had to put up with this so much. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, used to it." He told her as they took off down the road. He settled down his seat next to her, putting his seat belt on.

"I can't believe they found out I was back in town so quickly." Jackie sighed, looking upset.

"Not surprising." Jackal told his sister, leaning back in his seat. "So, Haruhi, you keeping Xavier in line at Ouran?"

"I'm making sure he comes to school everyday. Still working on his grades though." She smiled at Xavier, who looked embarrassed, but Jackal laughed loudly, smiling at his nephew.

"As long as someone is looking out for him over there, that's all that matters." Jackal told her as they pulled up at the house. "Grades won't be important later. You're going to do big things, aren't you?

"Of course. I'm going to be a rock star!" Xavier exclaimed, getting out of the car and helping Haruhi out.

"You should take Haruhi out around the city when things die down a bit. I bet she'd love to see everything! Your father might be in town though and I'm sure he'll want to see you along with his relatives." He mother spoke as they headed up to the house.

"Not interested." He grumbled, looking at the ground as he walked. "Are grand-mère and grand-père in town?" He changed the topic.

"You need to at least see your father while you're here." Unlike Haruhi, his mother wasn't going to go with the topic change.

"Are grand-mère and grand-père in town?" He repeated himself as they entered the home. Haruhi suddenly felt very awkward, and wasn't sure if she should go back to her room or wait for Xavier.

"Xavier, please." His mother sighed, brushing one of her curls behind her ear. "Yes, they are. They're coming over for dinner tomorrow night. Now, what about your father?"

"I'll make a small attempt but I won't see the rest of the lot." He glanced to Haruhi and started towards the stairs. "Mona is staying with Renge."

"Oh." Jackie and Jackal both said at the same time, looking at each other. Haruhi hurriedly followed Xavier and the two adults said nothing more.

"You have anything you want to go see?" Xavier questioned when they made it up to the hallways where their rooms were. "I'll go anywhere in France, honestly. Anything to avoid my father."

"I'll look at the book I brought with me and see, if you don't mind, there are a few places." She opened her bedroom door and he followed her in, diving onto her bed. "Why don't you want to see your father?" She asked as she shut the door behind her and went to her suitcase, rummaging through it to find the book on France she picked up at the airport. She pulled out her pen and began reading through it, circling places she wanted to see.

"My dad's side….doesn't agree with me much." He mumbled, propping himself up on his elbows. "They loved Monique so much…but I didn't. I'm not the son or nephew or grandson they wanted. I just….couldn't live up to their expectations." He seemed upset by this. "Dad thinks I'm too much like Jackal."

She could see it. All throughout lunch, Jackal kept the conversation going. He was polite, but had a snarky and sarcastic undertone in the way he spoke. He was big into music, like Xavier, and was actually a producer and was the one that taught Xavier how to play guitar. He was a friendly guy but he had sort of a temper.

"Jackal kind of reminds me of Hikaru." Haruhi told him. "And you."

"Don't tell me that. Just read your damn book." He sighed and went quiet. Haruhi went to sit by the balcony, enjoying the warm summer breeze and the beautiful view. Paris was so lovely and she was so happy she came. She knew the next week here would be a lot of fun. She glanced over to Xavier to ask his opinion, but, he was fast asleep. He was stretched out on her bed, face buried in a blanket.

* * *

"This week has been….interesting." Haruhi said as they walked around Jardin De Luxembourg. It was a beautiful garden.

"Interesting in a good or bad way?" Xavier replied, glancing over at her. It was dark, probably close to midnight, but it was the best time to come out and just walk around. Not many people were around and that meant no paparazzi following them like they had all week. "Sorry about the paparazzi…"

"No no, it's fine. I should have expected that with your mother. I didn't realize that you're whole family was….famous." She didn't know any other way to put her. His grandfather was a famous director and his grandmother had been a dancer and singer. Despite her age, she just finished a show on broadway that got rave reviews from everyone. Jackie was of course an actress, though she was more into English films more than French films. Jackal was a music producer and ran a big time radio station in France and Haruhi had a feeling Jackal was already preparing for Xavier entering the music business and become the rockstar of the family.

"Yeah, a family of entertainers." He shrugged. "Told you I was more like my mother's side."

Haruhi couldn't argue that at all. When she met his grandparents, they were lively. His grandfather had a dry sense of humor and his grandmother was blunt beyond belief. Jackal was the perfect mix of the both of them and Haruhi swore that Xavier was a mini Jackal. Jackie was the sweetest of them all by far.

"It's always been like this, so I'm used to it. I guess I forgot to warn you before you got on the plane with me." He looked so frustrated. "I just…I bloody hate them in my face. I don't like taking pictures."

"You did in Italy?"

"That's because it's Stella and Vinny and Isaac. They're my best mates, but, these gits with cameras aren't. They just want a good picture to sell. They don't give shits about us." He sighed deeply and pulled out a cigarette. He lit it and inhaled slowly. He exhaled, blowing the smoke away from Haruhi. "This botherin' ya?"

"No, it's fine." Haruhi shook her head, watching him. He looked so over stressed right now. "Really, Xavier, it's okay."

"It's not that." He told her, confusing her for a second. "Sorry, it doesn't make sense. I've been thinking and haven't been speaking so you're a little behind." He told her, making her more confused. "Like I said, not all…here…" He pointed to his head and tossed the cigarette down. "You chilly?" He questioned as the wind blew. It was warm, but Haruhi forgot to bring a light jacket just incase the air got a little nippy. "Here." He took off his leather jacket and placed it on her shoulders. It was far too big on her, but it was so warm. She pulled it around her happily.

"Thank you." She smiled at him and he shrugged. "Aren't you going to get cold?" He was only wearing a muscle tee under the jacket and while the air was sort of warm, it was getting chilly. His arms were pretty fit, she hadn't noticed it before. He wasn't as built as Vinny, but he had muscles.

"Nah, dove, I'm quite fine." He still look frustrated. "I'm just tired. All the time." He sighed again, looking at the ground. "I know….I know I'm not all here." He pointed to his head again. "Something ain't right up there and I don't really know how to make it better. Just….when I'm with some blokes…like Vinny…or you…it's more, controllable? It's quite hard to describe, dove. I just snapped when my parents divorced I guess. Saw it coming and I was a little relieved when it did happen…they fought all the time…whenever I came home to visit it was a war zone."

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that.." Haruhi told him and he looked forward.

"Not your fault, dove. It was rough but I'm still alive and going so…..I can't complain."

"Have you talked to a doctor? Or….your mother or father?" She questioned, wondering if Xavier had kept his issues concealed from his family.

"No way in bloody hell am I going to a doctor. Those are pointless. They drug you up and keep to boring and lame. I have a life to live. If I spoke to me mum she'd bring me home and my dream of going to America and becoming a rock star are over….if my father hears of it…..I'll be sent to the looney bin for sure. I'd never be let go." He shook his head at this, his blond hair falling in his face. He brushed it back, running his fingers along the shaved sides of his head. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Well…what about Monique?"

"What about that bitch?" He now looked to Haruhi and she wondered if she made a mistake.

"Yuukio and Renge were telling me about her…" Haruhi started, thinking back to it. Had Xavier really cheated on her?

"You can't trust them. They're biased to that bitch. God, she was…..fuck. The end was the worse. That's what really killed it. She just fucking went mental and accused me of cheating all the time. Dove, I won't lie, I've been with people that were in relationships, but, I myself have never, and will never, cheat on someone. If I decide I want to be in relationship with you, why would I go be with someone else?" He questioned and it made Haruhi feel better. She just knew Xavier wasn't a cheater. "I don't wanna talk about this either."

"What about when you met Vinny? I overheard him say something happened the first week you went to America." Haruhi asked and Xavier's face got red.

"I was bloody drunk off my arse so no, we will not discuss that either, my dove."

"What are we going to talk about then?" She questioned, a little frustrated. "You told me you'd tell me more."

"I'm trying." He told her, now looking at her. "And I did. A little. I'm trying, dove, you need to understand how hard it is for me, but just give me time…."

"Alright…so…is Vinny a health freak or a fitness guru?" She questioned, looking to Xavier.

"God, Vinny is a bloody fitness freak. He loves to go to the gym and to run. I got so fit being friends with him. It's really not that bad I guess….made me feel better to go running on the beach or go lift weights at the gym. I still run now, it helps get out frustration." He admitted. "I got amazing washboard abs from being mates with that lad. Want to see?" He chuckled and lifted up his shirt. Haruhi's face went red and she looked away, shaking her head. "Awah, dove, you flustered? It's fun to see you like that."

"Shut up." She grumbled, wishing she never asked. "Hikaru does the same thing."

"Don't even try to compare me to that git." Xavier grumbled, mood now dropping. "That bloke bloody hates me. Not like I did anything wrong…..yeah?" Xavier couldn't really remember if he said anything rude or offensive to Hikaru. "I think I know why he hates me."

"Really? Why does he hate you?" Haruhi asked and Xavier looked at her, surprised she didn't see it.

"You know dove, you are quite brilliant. I guess you're somewhat blind about these things." This was a little frustrating. "No one in this club sees these things. I don't want to make it my job to help you dummies see what is right in front of you all." How could they just not see it? "I guess it's not you lot's fault….the posh upbringing for them is a barrier and your humble upbringing is quite charming, so I won't get mad at you for not seeing it."

"What are you talking about?" Haruhi questioned, not understanding.

"Must be hard for them to not get what they want when they always get everything." He looked to be irritated, but, that was a look he wore often. "Every item they wanted, they got, so physically they're fine but emotionally….probably in ruins. They were kept shut off from the world so all they know is fairytales and unrealistic expectations. One of them will be crushed. The girl won't always like you back, right, dove?" He questioned, asking Haruhi for her opinion.

"Are you just talking about the twins? Or-"

"Not solely the twins. Kaoru isn't an idiot, I give him props for that. He knows what's happening." Kaoru wasn't an idiot. He knew that someone was going to get hurt, Tamaki or Hikaru, maybe even both. At least Kaoru had the sense to go after Yuukio, who returned his feelings, though neither were probably never going to make a move. "Now all you guys need to do is actually make a move."

"What are you babbling on about?" Haruhi was beginning to get frustrated. She didn't understand what he was talking about!

"Don't worry your lovely head about it, dove." Xavier put his arm around her and pulled her closer. "I'm just being mental. Forget I said anything."


	9. You Got A Pretty Kind Of Dirty Face

Haruhi knew the second she stepped into the club room all hell would break lose.

Unfortunately, their flight had been delayed and she had gotten in late yesterday evening. She hated that since she had been so jet lagged, she slept through until noon today. It was a little pointless, but she decided to come for the club time.

If she didn't Tamaki might have sent out a search and rescue team for her and she really didn't want that happening. She opened the door and was instantly pulled into a hug by the twins.

"Where were you this morning?" They asked in unison after they were done hugging her.

"Told you lot dove slept in." Xavier was there on the couch, looking hung over. "Least your father let you sleep in. He's not mad at me, right?"

"No, he actually wants to invite you over for dinner sometime to thank you for taking me all over the world this summer." She said and his raised his eyebrows while Hikaru furrowed his.

"Lovely. I'm free whenever you want me over, dove." He winked at her making Tamaki and Hikaru angry.

"You are not to take my Haruhi anywhere anymore! We barely had contact with you! I thought you were kidnapped!" Tamaki exclaimed, grabbing Haruhi by the shoulders and shaking her. "We were supposed to hang out all this summer break! How did you even get out of the country!?"

"Got dove a passport, of course. You wankers were trying to hold dove captive here and that's no fun." Xavier shook his head, having too much fun with this. "I knew you lot didn't think I'd get her a passport. I'm no fool. I didn't force dove to come, like I didn't force her to come to Paris with me. Mum loved you to pieces." He directed this to Haruhi, smirking. "Told pops all about it. He's begging me to straighten out and marry you." He stood now and walked over to them, earning glares from Hikaru and Tamaki. "Too bad you're so not my type."

"How dare you say that to my lovely daughter!" Tamaki hugged her and pointed at Xavier, shooting daggers at him. "You are not good enough for her! No one is good enough for my lovely Haruhi!"

"You are a tad over dramatic…." He seemed to brush off Tamaki as Yuukio entered the room. "Yuukio, you think I'm not good enough for Haruhi?"

"Oh, you are not." She said bluntly and he frowned at her, following her to her table. "Haruhi is way too cute…..AND A GIRL!" She turned quickly and pointed at Xavier, who jumped back, holding his hands up. "HA! YOU THOUGHT I WOULDN'T CATCH ON!"

"Eh, why are you blowing a gasket at me?! I just found out before the break! Blame that lot." He nodded to the others, who looked scared. Her face was red and it looked like flames were going to come out of her mouth.

"STELLA SENT ME A PICTURE OF YOU LOT AND HARUHI YOU WERE SO CUTE!" It turned from shouting to a squeal as she held Haruhi's hands. "And you horrible bunch were keeping her cuteness a secret from ME!"

"You…you aren't angry?" Haruhi asked, wondering if she should be scared or not.

"I had my suspicions…but, I didn't know if you wanted to keep it a secret for private reasons. Now it all makes sense to me. I can pay off your debt for you, you know! I don't want you to have to do this if you don't want to!"

"No, no, it's fine, Yuukio, really. Thank you though…you just know to keep this from Renge, right?" Haruhi said and Yuukio nodded her head.

"And yes, Xavier, she is way out." She turned to Xavier, who stuck his tongue out. "All the ladies…and men, that go to this school are way out of your league."

"I'm too much of a street rat for the likes of these posh kids." He chuckled and sat down at the table with Yuukio, who shot him a look. The others immediately started telling Haruhi about their summers, hoping she would decide to come with them over school breaks. "I know my social standing, crumpet." She pouted and he grinned wickedly. "If I just behaved and looked differently I'm sure others would like me more, but alas, I was not placed on this earth to please others. If I cleaned up could I finally get in your size zero jeans?" He winked to Yuukio and glanced at Kaoru, who looked angry at that comment.

"No way!" She exclaimed and he laughed.

"You all are so damn easy. Honestly. You wear your heart on your sleeves." He stood as Renge entered the room.

"Xavier!" She bellowed and he frowned, good mood gone. "You were in Paris, with Haruhi, and you didn't even tell me or come visit us! Uncle was upset you didn't see him!"

"Well I'm upset that I'm not drunk or getting a blow job but we can't always get what we want." He shrugged it off as he cousin stomped over to him, angry. "Why can't we discuss this at home?"

"Because you lock yourself in your room doing god knows what!" She told him, crossing her arms. "You don't ever come out of it and you always lock the door so we can't get in."

"Obviously I'm doing drugs and having massive amounts of sex." He replied sarcastically. "Or, I'm sleeping and playing on my laptop or playing video games and counting down the days until I can go to America."

"This is why you're falling down the social ladder and uncle is disappointed in you." She muttered and he sighed, shaking his head. He ran his fingers through his hair, thinking over what he was going to say. It was silent in the club room and no one knew what to say or to do. "I don't see why you didn't stay with Monique and get engaged to her."

"I don't see why I didn't fling myself off the Eiffel Tower while I had the chance." He replied dryly. "I'm goin' go blow a fag and possibly go get black out drunk to forget the utter bullocks you just said." He brushed past Renge and grabbed his bag off of the couch.

"Xavier…" Haruhi mumbled, hating see Xavier look so dejected.

"Don't go storming off!" Renge called to him and he kept going.

"I'm going out with John. Don't wait up for me." He told her and shut the door behind him.

* * *

"Renge was worried about you after you left." Yuukio was on Xavier's back the second he walked into the club room the next afternoon. Xavier turned to look at her, bags under his eyes, bloodshot eyes, and the smell of whiskey on his breath.

"Told her not to wait up. I went out." He replied gruffly and tossed his bag into their closet, not caring where it landed. "Look, Yuukio, I'm not here to hear how much of a horrible cousin I am or how disgusting I am." He brushed past her and slumped onto his couch, head pounding. He slept through all his classes, but he still felt awful. "I think I get it quite enough from this entire club."

"Are….are you okay?" She actually sounded concerned, confusing both of them. She sat down next to him on the couch.

"No, not really, but I'll deal." He muttered, looking away from her. "Why do you care?"

"I….I don't know…" She mumbled, confused. "I just…..I don't know. You kind of remind me of my little sister….." Her little sister was a partier, despite her young age. She always got caught at parties and the tabloids loved to make fun of her. Yuukio was terrified her sister would end up like Xavier, a complete mess who was running himself into a deep grave.

Yuukio knew she wasn't perfect. She was aggressive and a tad bit of a control freak, but she was trying really hard to change and better herself.

"Oh, yeah…..I remember her." He thought about the model's younger sister. She was back in London, planning to take over her father's company. Yuukio had become a model, like her mother, and her sister was chosen to take over the business side of the family. Xavier felt a little bad for Yuukio, because her mother was controlling and a tad vindictive.

"You know my sister?" Yuukio asked as the others hosts came in.

"Yeah, she isn't too bright. Looks like you got the brains along with the looks." He winked and Kaoru's face went red when he saw this.

"How do you know my sister?" Yuukio asked, not letting him get away so easily. Misaki came in with Abby and hurried over to Xavier. His mood brightened up as they greeted him.

"Are you going to tell a story? Thank you." Misaki told Haruhi as she rolled the cart over with tea and coffee. She took her cup and smiled at Xavier while Abby did the same with other guests coming into the room for the other hosts.

"Ah, well, yeah, met your sis at a party." Xavier told Yuukio. "I was in London for a mate's party. It had been pretty dry so I was mostly just looking for a bloke or bird that would be easy to get in bed."

"Xavier!" Tamaki chided at his bluntness.

"Sorry." He replied but didn't mean it. "I was getting frustrated so I decided to head outside to blow a fag outside. I lit up in the alley and she approached me. I was thinking she could be easy to get, but, I noticed her lack of….assets…" He looked a little embarrassed at that. "Not trying to be creepy or a pedo, I didn't know she was so young." He held his hands up as Yuukio looked ready to yell at him. "So she strolls up to me, I guess she thinks I'm smoking a blunt because of how I hold my fags when I smoke. She comes up and asks for weed that she can 'inject'."

"I-Inject?" Yuukio questioned, furrowing her brows.

"Yeah, so at that moment, red flags are going off and I realize who she is. I about die laughing and I point to a cop that's walking down the sidewalk and tell her he has the best stuff." He shrugged while laughing.

"Xavier!" Yuukio exclaimed, angry at him.

"You should've seen how those wankers were looking at her, Yuukio. I did her a favor by getting her in trouble." He replied, shaking his head. "I don't think kids should be at those parties. I prefer older crowds. I don't ever date or get with younger people, so don't worry."

"Mona was younger than you." Yuukio said and he made a face.

"She was different. That was a mistake." He grunted, reaching for his cup of coffee.

"But…thank you for looking out for my sister like that….." Yuukio looked down at her lap, sighing.

"No problem." He sipped his coffee and shrugged.

"XAVIER!" Renge almost screamed when she came into the room. "WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT?!" He winched, head still pounding.

"He was with me." Yuukio said, glancing at Xavier before looking at Renge. "I let him sleep over on my couch last night. I knew you were still angry and I just didn't want you two to fight."

"Oh." Renge calmed down instantly and even smiled a bit. "Thank you for that Yuukio."

"Yeah…thanks.." Xavier gave her a sideways glance, confused as to why the mode helped her. Renge hurried off to dote on Haruhi and Xavier set his cup down.

"You helped my sister." She mumbled to Xavier, who leaned back on the couch. "Don't think I'm going to be nice to you!" She exclaimed suddenly, feeling a little embarrassed. "I still think you're a jerk."

"Ah, lovely." He muttered. "I think you're still sort of a bitch."

"Okay. I can handle that." Yuukio felt awkward. Did this mean they were friends or something? Did she owe him anymore?

"Awah, so glad you two are becoming friends." Misaki smiled at them. They looked to each other before looking away.

"You lot all wear your heart on your sleeve." He sighed, feeling a bit like a broken record as Kaoru continued to glare at him. "Tell your boyfriend to stop glaring at me." He told her, glancing at Kaoru. Her cheeks went pink.

"H-He's not my boyfriend!" Her voice went up in pitch and the two guests giggled at how embarrassed she was. "W-We're not dating!"

"Awah, crumpet, you nervous?" He chuckled at the model, who was so embarrassed.

"No!" She growled, glaring at him. "I'll punch you in the nose!"

"You should get that temper under control. Kaoruuuuuuu! She's losing it." He called over the twin, who came over and pulled Yuukio away. "How sweet…..and quite disgusting." He turned back to his guests after this.

* * *

"Xavier." The male groaned when he heard Yuukio. She tugged on his sleeve as he left the building, trying to get home.

"What?" He asked, turning to look at her, annoyance clear on his face.

She took a deep breath and sighed. "Look, I don't want to come to you for advice, but honestly, you are probably my best choice. No one else seems to understand these things as well as you."

"I'm not getting you drugs Yuukio." He meant it jokingly, but she punched him in the arm.

"I don't want that!" She exclaimed, getting angry. She took another deep breath, calming herself down before she continued. "Does Kaoru like me? I think he does but I can't really tell. Obviously I like him but I'm not sure if we'll work. I don't want to be pushy or over step my boundaries. I know he and Hikaru are close and I would never dream of coming between them." She rambled and Xavier had a hard time following her.

"Let's go back to my place." He said, pulling her along to his car.

* * *

"So, start this over again." He said once he shut his bedroom door. Yuukio set her purse down on his desk and began to pace the room. Xavier reached into his nightstand for a bottle of whiskey and a glass, glancing at the model as he poured a little into the glass. "Drink this."

"Uh.." She mumbled but he pressed it to her.

"Calm yourself, crumpet." He encouraged. She sighed but gulped it down, sticking her tongue out at the taste, but seemed to calm her nerves down. He poured himself a glass and kicked his shoes off. "C'mon, what's the scoop?"

"Like I told you before, Xavier. I don't really have anyone else to turn to for this sort of…issue. My mother is definitely out of the question! She's awful about this sort of stuff and Renge knows nothing about these things either."

"So, you like him?" He questioned, sipping his drink. "You know how horrible I am at relationships, right?"

"I know Mona is a bit over dramatic and you were at decent boyfriend to her so I'm willing to take my chances here." She said and looked away, a bit flustered. "Yes, I do like him, okay? Stop smirking at me!"

"Don't get your knickers in a bunch, Yuukio. I already knew it." He told her, making her more embarrassed. "He likes you back…just like Hikaru and Tamaki both like Haruhi. Tamaki, of course, doesn't realize it, but, Hikaru does. You all wear your heart on your sleeve."

"What should I do?" She asked and he furrowed his brows.

"Give him a blow job? I'm just joking so relax." He told her, shaking his head. "This is innocent shit, Yuukio, and I'm…definitely not innocent. Honestly I don't think the lad is quite ready." He said truthfully, drinking his whiskey down. "I think you just have to wait, because he's going to be nervous and slow. I know the twins aren't…social butterflies. They need to have more time. Kaoru might be different. He's smarter and more down to earth. He could settle down with you and not want anyone else, ever. Hikaru is different, of course, and more of a pain in the ass."

"So I should just wait?" She questioned, a little saddened by this news.

"Unfortunately. Sorry, but, that's what I think. Just work on yourself. You're so hell bent on it, might as well just focus more of your energy on your 'self-improvements'. Just….I don't know…continue doing what you're doing." He put the whiskey back in the drawer, along with the glass. "Sweet that Kaoru is being your accountability buddy."

"Maybe Haruhi should be yours." Yuukio sat in his desk chair, tired and frustrated.

"Vinny already called dibs, but the poor bloke can't do much thousands of miles away." He shrugged, pulling his tie of and tossing it to the floor, annoyed by it. "I'm fine. No improvements needed here."

"When are you going to stop lying to yourself Xavier?" Yuukio asked, rubbing her temples. He was such a mess. Did he really think he was fine?

"When I get out of this country." He replied, throwing his jacket onto his love seat and glancing out the window. He sighed, feeling tired. "You have your problems, I have mine. We handle them differently and that's just how life is." He glanced back to her. "Did our parents ruin us? Of course they did. Did they mean it? Probably not. Are we still stuck with the problems? Yes, we are, and we'll just have to deal."

"You aren't dealing the right way."

"You really need to get that controlling problem you have under control."


	10. Running Low On Know How

**Thanks for the reviews and favorites! **

**Hikaru and Xavier are goin start being friends sooonnnnnnn**

* * *

Xavier felt eyes on him as he walked down the hallway with John. The two were arguing about music, like they always did.

"Hey, John, mind if ya look around the hall a bit? Feel eyes on me." Xavier mumbled to him, wondering if he was just being paranoid.

"Eyes are always on you, _mate_." John liked to tease Xavier on his accent and found it entertaining. He glanced around the hallway, eyes landing on Hikaru, who was glaring at Xavier. "Ah, found him. That twin…Hikaru…I think."

"Of course that wanker is glaring at me." Xavier muttered and his eyes darted around the hallways until he spotted Hikaru. Even more now, Kaoru was glaring at him and Yuukio had been getting along a tad bit better than usual, which was strange, but, no need for Kaoru to start hating him. He wasn't going to make a move on the model. Hikaru hated him because Haruhi spent more time with Xavier than Hikaru liked.

Pathetic.

"Glaring at me because you think I'm trying to take your bird is pathetic." He told both of them as he and John walked by them. "Crumpet isn't my cup of tea and dove is too good of a mate for me to ruin our friendship."

"They jealous of you?" John asked, glancing back at the twins as they kept walking by. Xavier just nodded his head while he rolled his eyes.

"Urg, being here is the worse. I can't get laid here. All these birds and lads have sticks up their asses and their heads in the cloud."

"I get what you mean. I would prefer to be back in America, but I'm happy to be closer to Misaki." He smiled brightly as he thought of his fiancé and Xavier wanted to gag.

* * *

"Yuukio, isn't it time to call off your mutt?" Xavier questioned, appearing right behind her as she drank her tea. He was leaning over, face next to her ear so no one else heard him. She smirked and glanced at him, shrugging.

"I don't know what you are talking about." She found it adorable that Kaoru was getting jealous over the fact that she was getting along better with Xavier. She knew it was wrong, but she really was enjoying it. She heard Xavier sigh and she tilted her head, amused at his reaction.

"My lovely, annoying, crumpet, this is cruel to the poor lad." Xavier moved to sit in front of her now, shooting her a look. "Look, if you want to get closer to him, you need to start suggesting hanging out with him…without Hikaru."

"Making him jealous is a lot easier though." She whined and he shook his head.

"Jealousy gets you nowhere, crumpet. I know this because of Mona." He said truthfully, trying to actually help her. "Just ask him to go get ice cream or go shopping with you this weekend. Alone."

"I can't just do that, Xavier…..the twins are very close. They're learning, but, still. It's rare that one goes out without the other." She sighed, stirring her tea slowly. "Maybe if I got Hikaru to hang out with someone else…."

"They'll have to grow up sooner or later. You can't always have someone by your side, you know. Some journeys you must take alone." He leaned back in his chair and glanced to the twins. "Though this is a little funny." He grinned at Yuukio, who smiled back. "Like, honestly, the lad's face is a tomato."

"Isn't he cute as a button?" She sighed happily, glancing at him for a quick second before looking back to Xavier, her smile huge. The twins shuffled off and Xavier looked to Yuukio again.

"The love bug must have bit you hard." He stood to go to his couch to join Misaki and Abby but was tackled to the ground. "What in the bloody hell!?" Xavier shouted, side aching as he looked around.

"Zavy, didn't we tell you today we're dressing up as animals?" Hikaru was sitting on him, fox ears and tail on him. The tail was moving back and both slowly and Xavier guessed they were very expensive electronical items.

"You didn't have to tackle him." Haruhi approached him, dressed as a mouse.

"Dove, you look adorable, you know that?" He smirked and winced as Hikaru dug his elbow into Xavier's back. He pushed himself off the ground and tried to get away from Hikaru, but Kaoru sat on him as well, forcing him back to the ground.

"No way are you getting out of this!" Hikaru smirked, holding the headband with cat ears on them in his hands. He preferred the clip ons, but since the sides of Xavier's head were shaved, there was no hair to clip them to. He stuck the head band on and the ears immediately went flat.

"W-Woah, get these off!" He complained, struggling under the twins' weight. "Look, mate, I don't do roleplay like this." He glared and knocked Kaoru off of him and escaped from their hold. He hurried off with a disgusted face as he messed with the headband.

"No!" Hikaru ran after him and tackled him, wrapping his arms around Xavier's waist. "Sorry, but, boss' orderssss!" He was having too much fun with this. He pulled out the cat tail, attaching it to his pants and connecting the wires to the wires on the headband. Xavier was struggling beneath him, but Hikaru wasn't going to let him get out of this one.

"Hikaru, for real, get off!" He face was red and was humiliated by this.

"Done!" Hikaru got up and Xavier scrambled up, his tail now flicking back and forth. "What a cute kitty you make."

"Fuck off." He growled, fuming. This was out of his comfort zone beyond belief. Misaki and Abby cooed at him, finding him extremely adorable. "I didn't sign up for this sort of thing."

"Well too bad." Hikaru found this extremely funny. Xavier stalked over to his couch and sat down as Abby and Misaki fawned over him. "Maybe he is a bit interesting." Hikaru murmured to Kaoru, who was smirking wickedly at Xavier like his brother.

"That was pretty fun. Look how awkward he looks." Kaoru said as Xavier flinched when Abby stroked one of the cat ears. They were pretty proud of themselves for embarrassing the male. He was beginning to become too much of a pain and he was sick of him flirting with Haruhi and Yuukio.

"You know, dove, since you're the mouse and I'm the cat, it means you're my prey." He said as Haruhi walked behind the couch he was sitting on. He was smirking at her, his tail slowly flicking back and forth. He wasn't going to let the twins feel victorious over this.

"A cat really fits him…" One of the twins' guest said, giggling. "He and Haruhi are so cute together!"

"No, Xavier." Haruhi told him, shooting him down. He didn't seemed too bothered by this and instead glanced to Hikaru, gauging his reaction. Hikaru was pissed and Xavier could tell.

"But, dove, you're so lovely." He continued with flirting, making the guests squeal. He stood up quickly and followed Haruhi closely, face way too close to hers for Hikaru's liking.

"Yes! This is perfect!" Renge exclaimed happily. "Xavier is actually using his flirting skills for good use!"

Haruhi just looked at Xavier, used to his advances. She knew he was just playing around and trying to appease the guests, so she wasn't very annoyed by it. "You're having too much fun with this." She grumbled to him as the guests watched them closely, squealing.

"Do continue." Kyoya smirked, writing something down on his clipboard. "You're doing quite the job, Xavier."

"I do try." He smirked, happy that they didn't know his ulterior motives. Hikaru, and Tamaki, were losing it, and that made him extremely happy. "You sure you aren't interested, dove?" He pinned her against the back of a couch, looking down at her. His tail flicked back and forth slowly and his ears were perked up.

"Oh my god!" A few girls squealed, losing it. They had hearts for eyes and their faces were red. Renge was feeling extremely proud of her cousin, for once.

"Don't touch my Haruhi!" Tamaki shouted, throwing a fit about it. How dare Xavier get so close to his little girl?!

"No thanks." Haruhi said, looking at him with a slightly amused face. Tamaki was still throwing a fit, but both chose to ignore him.

"Bother." He complained and backed off from her with a shrug. He winked at her and strode off back to his couch, feeling much more confident in the cat get-up. He looked to Hikaru again, who was trying to mask his anger but Xavier knew he was faking his smile. "This cat thing is quite fun."

While he enjoyed teasing Hikaru and Tamaki, Xavier was relieved to get the cat ears and tail off. He didn't enjoy being fawned over like that. That wasn't the attention he wanted nor needed.

He went to retrieve his bag, and was of course stuck in an awkward silence with the twins. He knew he shouldn't tease them like he did. They were trying to get more out into the social world and not rely on each other so much. Yuukio and Haruhi were probably their first crushes and Xavier wasn't making it easy on them.

Hikaru glared at Xavier as he watched the male loosen his tie with a sigh. He wanted to tackle him, but he was refraining. He wouldn't hate him so much if he didn't flirt with Haruhi or spend so much time with her. It was a little unsettling to him that Xavier was posing a threat. He knew Kaoru felt the same about Yuukio.

They weren't clueless, but, neither of them really knew how to proceed here. They figured they could go at their own pace, but now that Xavier was posing a threat, they were nervous. He was a ladies man…and a men-man, if that made any sense. He knew how to get people weak in the knees and how to get them to fall for him, the twins…not so much. All they could do was get the guests to fawn over them, but that didn't seem to impress Haruhi nor Yuukio.

"You two do know I'm just having a laugh when I flirt with your birds, yeah?" They heard Xavier ask and they heads snapped up to look at him. He had long gotten over how in-sync they were, though he still found it creepy. "I've known Yuukio for too long and I'm being truthful when I say dove isn't my type." He pulled his bag out of his cubby and cracked his back.

"We don't care." They said together, but all three knew it was a lie. They did care, a lot, and it scared them.

Kaoru wanted to make Xavier a friend. He knew how to handle ladies and he knew Yuukio, so maybe he could help him? Hikaru, however, disliked him greatly, and even though he understood why, he wished his brother would lighten up on it.

"Hikaru…." Kaoru whispered so Xavier wouldn't hear. "Maybe we should befriend him? Yuukio and Haruhi seem to like him…maybe he can help us with them?"

"No way! He's beneath us." Hikaru whispered back as Xavier left the closet. "You can't be serious, Kaoru."

"He is not beneath us." Kaoru told him. "He's on high social standings…he just doesn't act like it. He might be able to help us. He seemed serious earlier. Remember, Haruhi told us to start branching out more."

"I'll think about it." Hikaru grumbled, hating the idea, but know his brother was right.

* * *

"Hey, Xavier." Kaoru felt embarrassed when he caught the male in the hallway, heading to his next class. Xavier turned and seemed surprised to see him there.

"Uh, hey, Kaoru….where's Hikaru?" He questioned, not seeing the other twin anywhere. He was starting to wonder if they were planning some sort of attack on him.

"He's with Haruhi." Kaoru replied, thinking about how he brother offered to walk Haruhi to her next class. It was so weird, not always being with him, and the first few weeks they tried it, it was scary and unsettling, but now, it felt better. They were two different people, even though they were so much the same. They needed to try different things and become their own person, not just copies of each other.

They stood in the hallway awkwardly, neither knowing what to say.

"Guess you're not as outspoken as Hikaru." Xavier muttered as the twin stayed quiet. "Probably why I like you more than your brother, no offense."

"I understand. Hikaru can be blunt and he doesn't hold back. I wish he thought before he spoke sometimes." Kaoru admitted, shrugging and feeling a little more comfortable. "I just…I'm not exactly the best with this. Hikaru and I are trying to branch out and do things separately. It's difficult at times since we sort of cut our selves off from the world most of our lives, but…"

"Spit it out, mate." Xavier told him, amused at this. "You need help gettin' the bird?"

"Basically." He sighed, embarrassed. He didn't know why he was, because he knew Xavier knew that he liked Yuukio.

Xavier smirked at this, wondering what he could do. He could tell Kaoru that Yuukio liked him, but, were the two really ready for that? Were either of the twins ready for that either? He didn't know if Haruhi liked Hikaru back, so, if Kaoru went off and began to date Yuukio, but Hikaru and Haruhi didn't get together, that could cause a little tension between the twins.

Plus, Yuukio was busy and trying to work on herself. He knew she wanted to date Kaoru, but was now really the best time? Could she maintain their relationship while trying to rebuild herself?

He and Mona didn't make it, and he saw the same outcome for Yuukio and Kaoru if they rushed into it.

"Take it easy, for one." He told him with a shrug. "I think what you're doing now is pretty good. It's your first crush, yeah?" He questioned and Kaoru nodded his head. "So yeah, no need to rush into it, trust me on that. You have plenty of time. If you fancy her that much, spend a little more time with her. I know she'd enjoy spending an afternoon with you. Without Hikaru, of course."

"Oh yeah…" He mumbled, thinking to his brother. Hikaru tended to get a bit jealous if Kaoru spent the whole day with Yuukio, leaving him at home alone.

"You and Hikaru are close and it'll take a while before you guys reach that point you need to be at to start dating Yuukio. It's just how you two are, so don't feel bad about it." Xavier was trying to be nice to him. He knew what it was like, sort of. "Take it slow, because Hikaru is going to have to get used to it as well. Just start by inviting her over and include Hikaru, then maybe next time, leave him out and let him entertain himself. You could talk to him about it, I'm sure he'll understand, but it probably won't make it any easier on the lad." Xavier advised, trying to keep it simple.

"Thank you." Kaoru said, taking it all in. Xavier was making a lot of sense about this, and he was starting to see what Haruhi was talking about. He wasn't a bad guy at all, he just had a rough exterior. He was a little like Hikaru in some ways. "I appreciate it."

"Not a problem." Xavier replied, pulling his bag over his shoulder. "Guess I'll see you in the club later." He said with a wave and turned around, continuing his journey to his next class.

* * *

"You talked to him!?" Hikaru questioned in the club room. He was angry at Kaoru for doing it and he didn't understand why he did it.

"He was very helpful." Kaoru defended himself, not wanting to fight with his brother. "I just wanted a little advice. Reading manga won't help us with this situation, you know, neither will our 'brotherly love'." He looked at Hikaru, who seemed to be debating it. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I just didn't want you angry at me."

"I'm not angry with you." Hikaru sighed, biting his lip. "I just….don't like him."

"Remember what Haruhi told us?" Kaoru questioned, feeling like a kid in the way he said it, but, it was something they needed to remind themselves. "We can't go claiming everyone is an idiot like we used to. It's been almost five months since Xavier enrolled here and we've barely even spoken to him. Haruhi says he's interesting and a good guy, and we know Haruhi has the best judgment of character."

Hikaru couldn't argue with his brother on that one. Haruhi was un-bias and had a level head. If she liked Xavier and said he was a good guy, he most likely was. Still, it didn't change the male's delinquent look or piss-poor attitude.

"It's not like you have to be best friends with him." Kaoru continued, hoping he was understanding. "He didn't mock me or anything. He knows who we like. I guess he can tell." They both glanced over to Xavier, who was getting lectured by Tamaki for an inappropriate story he was previously telling his guests. Xavier didn't seem interested into what Tamaki was babbling on about, so he just drank his coffee, letting Tamaki continue his rant.

"Gee, boss is kind of an idiot." Hikaru shook his head at his friend. "Xavier doesn't care too much."

"His stories are always interesting." Kaoru watched, amused when Tamaki struck a chord with Xavier that sent the delinquent male arguing back. The two were comical when they argued. Tamaki was over dramatic and Xavier was inappropriate, making for a very entertaining argument that usually ended with Tamaki in the corner and Xavier coming out the winner. "Being his friend wouldn't be so bad."

"I guess." Hikaru mumbled, mulling it over.


	11. Why Don't You Talk To Matty About It?

**are yall happy now**

**they are interacting**

**sort of**

* * *

It was the second week of September, but it was still warm out. It was pretty crowded around the shipping district, too. Hikaru glanced around the shopping plaza boredly before going to play on his phone.

It was Saturday afternoon and he and Kaoru were here, waiting for Yuukio to show up. Kaoru was excited, of course, and Hikaru found it slightly amusing at his brother's excitement. He really wanted the two to get together, but he knew it would be a big change.

"There she is!" Kaoru exclaimed, smiling widely as he saw the model in the crowd. "Oh, hey, she brought Xavier with her." He looked back to Hikaru, who didn't look that impressed. "Hey, she could've brought Renge."

"That's barely worse." Hikaru grumbled, but stood. He needed to give Xavier and chance and actually speak to him. He was a little glad Yuukio brought him, because he didn't want to feel like a third wheel, or make either of the two feel guilty for making him feel like the third wheel.

"Good afternoon you two, so sorry we're late." Yuukio said when they finally reached them by the fountain. "Traffic was quite the mess."

"We haven't been waiting long, so don't worry about it." Kaoru spoke up and Xavier and Hikaru exchanged glances. Xavier hadn't exactly wanted to come, but he had nothing else to do. He figured he might as well walk around and watch Yuukio and Kaoru awkwardly flirt and be ignored by Hikaru.

Kaoru and Yuukio led the group, so Hikaru and Xavier followed behind them, both looking forward. Xavier wasn't one for small talk and he preferred to just not talk at all if it was mindless chatter. Hikaru seemed to be the same way…or he really just hated Xavier.

He felt his phone buzz in his pocket, so he pulled it out to reply to Vinny's texts, giving himself something to think about. He was comfortable in this silence and when he slid his phone back into his pocket, he started looking around at all the shops, taking everything in.

Hikaru felt awkward. Was he supposed to talk to Xavier or was just listening to Yuukio and Kaoru talk to each other enough? He wouldn't even began to know how to talk to Xavier. The male seemed unamused as he looked around, but Hikaru noticed he had that sort of resting face. He just looked unhappy all the time. He probably couldn't help it.

"How are you two doing back there?" Yuukio asked, glancing at them, wondering if she should include them in more of the conversation.

"Doing well, crumpet." Xavier replied, nodding his head. She glanced to him and he nodded his head before she turned back around to continue talking to Kaoru. "Can I get your opinion on somethin'?" He questioned to Hikaru, who slowly nodded his head. "Sweet. Crumpet, Kaoru, go on without us, I need to grab something. Come along, pet." He motioned to Hikaru, who didn't like the nickname, but decided that being alone with Yuukio would make his brother happy, so he followed Xavier.

"What do you want?" He questioned once Yuukio and Kaoru continued on their way.

"I'm getting something pierced so I figured I'd bring someone along in case something goes wrong." He was on his phone, scrolling through the stores that were in the area, trying to pick the best place to get a piercing. "What should I get pierced? Already did lip, I was thinkin' 'bout snake bites but that's overdone. Eyebrow piercing is fitting my fancy the more I think about it though." He continued, picking a store and glancing around before he started walking.

"Wait, what?" Hikaru questioned, hurrying after him.

"You heard me. Besides, Yuukio and Kaoru needed to be alone for a little bit." He told Hikaru once the ginger haired male caught up with him and was now walking besides him. "Yeah, and if something happens, which I doubt anything will, but if something does go wrong, I want someone to be there to get me to the hospital."

Hikaru stared at him with wide eyes, before rolling his eyes. He didn't want to be here, but, it was more entertaining than just following Yuukio and Kaoru around. They walked for a bit until Xavier decided on a store and strolled into it like it was nothing. Hikaru was a bit on edge, because it didn't look too…..safe.

Then again he had no clue what tattoo and piercing parlors were supposed to look like in the first place. Xavier was pretty comfortable in…commoners places, and he supposed Yuukio was too since she was the one who suggested this shopping distinct to hang out at. Maybe things were different in England? Hikaru quickly followed Xavier to the room in the back and he sat on a stool while Xavier got comfy in the other chair.

"You nervous, yeah?" Xavier questioned, chuckling at Hikaru's face.

"It's…not an ideal place." He muttered, giving a snotty look to the man who entered the room. He had red hair that was spiked up and sleeves of tattoos. He had piercings all over his face too and raised his eyebrows at Hikaru and his name brand outfit and then looked to Xavier, who was far more up his alley in his ripped jeans and faded leather jacket.

"Hey. What are we doing today?" He questioned, plopped down on his rolling stool.

"Eyebrow." Xavier pointed to his right eyebrow. "Thinkin' of another lip but I think eyebrow is better."

"You don't want too much on the lip. Eyebrow was a good choice. Glad you didn't pick nose, I hate doing those. I think the septum piercings make people look like bulls. This your boyfriend? He gettin' anything done?" He got up and glanced to Hikaru as he went to get his tools ready.

"No way." Hikaru shook his head to both questions. "He's not my type and I don't like piercings."

"Ah, love, no need to be embarrassed about us." Xavier smirked and laughed and the tattoo guy laughed as well. Hikaru of course didn't. "I'm just teasing. Hikaru, for real though, relax. You sure you don't want anything? My dad is paying for this." He grinned, flashing a card at Hikaru before sliding it back into his pocket. The male sat down again, pulling a tray of items over. He wiped off Xavier's eyebrow with a sanitizing wipe.

"No thanks….." Hikaru looked around the room at all the pictures of all the piercings he could get. "Your dad is okay with it?"

"He pissed me off last night." Was all Xavier said as Hikaru turned his eye, not wanting to see the needle go through his eyebrow. "You okay?" He questioned Hikaru, who nodded his head, turning to look at him.

"Oh god." He muttered as blood was pouring out of his eyebrow. The piercer put a towel on it, telling Xavier to hold it.

"Oh, yeah, eyebrows bleed." Xavier told Hikaru, holding the towel. "Kinda hurt too, but, it's not so bad." He handed the guy his card and he left to go ring him up for it. "It'll be painful for the first week or two, so, please, avoid punching me in the eye if you can."

"Hm, you saying not to do it makes me want to do it more." Hikaru smirked and Xavier actually looked a little frightened. "So, dad pissed you off so you're making him pay for a piercing?"

"Basically. Its how I got this bad boy." He pointed to his lip and laid his head back on the chair. "Yeah I asked you to come before I wasn't sure if I was going to be light headed after this." He pulled the towel back and Hikaru tried not to look at the large blood stain on the white towel. "I already got a tattoo and I don't know if I want another one yet."

"I wouldn't sit through you getting a tattoo. That takes far too long." He mumbled as the man came back in and handed Xavier the card back with the receipt. He took the towel from him, examined his work, and explained to Xavier the proper care for it and they were on their way.

"Does it look good?" Xavier asked Hikaru and tilted his head. Hikaru looked at him, and he didn't really want to admit how good he looked with it.

"Looks decent. Why didn't you go to a more proper place to get it done?" He didn't understand why he just didn't get a professional that did celebrities to do it.

"I did. That was a proper place." He said, slightly confused. "Oh, you mean one of those high end places that rip you off? I love spending my dad's money away on things he hates, but those places are not my scene. For a tattoo I'll definitely hit up one of those places and put a nice dent in my dad's card."

"What did he do to piss you off?" Hikaru questioned. He and his parents fought, but, they always made up afterwards. He had an extremely good relationship with his parents and he didn't understand how some kids didn't like their parents.

"I have quite the strained relationship with my old man." Xavier told him with a casual shrug. "Actually I do not….get along…with his entire side of the family. What? Is that odd?"

"No..well...for me it is. I get along with my parents." Hikaru replied and glanced around the shops they were passing. He wasn't interested in shopping at all.

"Oh. I didn't know kids like you existed." He raised his eyebrows and Hikaru glared at him for calling him a kid. "You're sixteen, right?" He remembered the twins having a birthday in June.

"Yes."

"You're a kid. I'm eighteen, older therefor wiser." He smirked as Hikaru rolled his eyes at the logic of what he just said. "Anywho, my father doesn't dictate my life since legally, I am an adult. This upsets him because I'm just a mess who has no plans for the future."

"He's right though."

"Excuse me, I have plans." Xavier shot Hikaru a look and Hikaru felt like maybe he said the wrong thing. "I'm going to be a big rock star and play Wembley and Madison Square Gardens!" He exclaimed and clenched his fist. "My pops is going to be so sorry."

"Why don't you two just say sorry and make up?" Hikaru wasn't getting what the big deal. Xavier seemed to be getting more frustrated every time Hikaru opened his mouth.

"Because that's not how it works!" He growled, turning on Hikaru. "Good God, do you lot not understand anything about the world? Saying sorry means shit and it helps nothing." He knew he was getting over worked about this and Hikaru didn't know the whole story, but that just made it worse. "I know to you, you think it's all my fault. I've always been a mess and my father is a saint for putting up with it, but that's not the story, at all." He didn't want to talk anymore and wanted to go home. He was about to disappear into the crowd but he knew he shouldn't. Hikaru couldn't be ditched like that and he'd be in a world of pain if he left him. "Let's just find Yuukio and your brother." He muttered, making it clear to Hikaru he didn't want to continue the topic.

"Well what's the story then?" Hikaru was never good at taking hints.

"I don't want to talk about it." Xavier sighed through his nose. Obviously Hikaru was like his mother and wouldn't allow him to change the topic when he didn't want to talk anymore.

"How am I supposed to understand if you don't tell me?" Hikaru continued to pester him. "At least tell me why you're angry with him."

"He just thinks I'll grow out of this." Xavier was so angry just talking about it. "I'll wake up one day and be cured and want to be a CEO and led the same boring life that he has. I don't want that. I can't want something like that." He was beginning to rant now and Hikaru let him. No reason to stop him. "Having someone plan your life out….that isn't what life is supposed to be. You're supposed to make mistakes and learn and find out what you want. I'm_ not_ someone who can be controlled. If I let him do that to me, I might as well just die."

"Did you find what you wanted?" Yuukio questioned as she came up behind them with Kaoru right beside her. Both jumped, startled, and turned around. "….You didn't go look at something." She narrowed her eyes, honing in on the new piercing on his eyebrow. "Xavier, really?"

"Isn't it bloody attractive?" He smirked and she just shot him a look. "Well, I came for what I wanted. I'll leave you three to enjoy the rest of your day." He walked off, waving before he disappeared into the crowd.

"He was so annoying!" Hikaru exclaimed to them.

"How about we go get some lunch?" Yuukio suggested, hoping to make Hikaru feel better.

* * *

"So he got it done and made his dad pay for it all because he was mad at him." Hikaru had ranted all throughout lunch, complaining about Xavier and how he spoke about his father.

"Well, I do see what you mean…but…" Yuukio trailed off and the twins looked at her, surprised to see her taking Xavier's side. "Look, I'm not trying to come off as rude, but, you two don't understand. You have a wonderful relationship with your parents."

"Yeah but…" Hikaru muttered.

"I get it. I don't get along with my parents, so I get what he's saying but at least my parents didn't divorce. Xavier's did." She told them, sipping her water. "They fought over custody and who would get him when and what to do with him and it was a huge mess. Obviously Xavier's mother didn't want his father having full custody for Xavier since Xavier is more like her side, but, his father didn't want his mother having full custody since she was more carefree."

"Oh…" The twins mumbled.

"Yes, so, he's very….he didn't take it well.." Yuukio told them with a head nod. "He's just very….he's kind of…he's not that bad. Renge made him seem worse than he really is. He just needs people in his corner."


	12. Bite Your Face To Spite Your Nose

**This chapter is boring and I'm sorry but dude yall will love what I have planned**

* * *

"Haruhi why won't you do the theme? You'd be so cute~!" Tamaki cooed Tuesday afternoon as he was trying to get the club to agree on a theme for the next day. "Daddy wants you to!"

"Well Daddy will have to get over it." She muttered, rolling her eyes as Xavier entered the club with a guitar case over his shoulder. He was….smiling? "Uh…?" She questioned and everyone stared at him as he put his bag away and approached them, humming.

"Renge is sick you guys. She can't speak!" He exclaimed, way too excited about this. "It has been so wonderful not having her speak. I hope this goes on forever." He sighed happily, plopping down on his couch. They all stared at him, his smile still on his face. He looked so friendly.

"Good you're in a great mood!" Tamaki jumped in front of him, and pointed at a magazine of a girl in an adorable floral dress. "Wouldn't Haruhi look beautiful in this?!"

"Eh….I'm going to have to agree with Tamaki on this, dove, you'd look lovely in that dress." He glanced back to her and she shook her head. The twins agreed with Tamaki and Xavier.

"Oh come on, Haruhi, you'd look good!" Hikaru really wanted to see her in it too. Xavier relaxed back into the couch as Haruhi let out a long sigh, tired of them all.

"C'mon on, do it for daddyyyyy!" Tamaki hurried over to her, and spun her around against her will. Hikaru seemed ticked off at it and Haruhi just let him do it, deciding arguing with him would just make matters worse.

"What's Tamaki doing?" A small, blonde…..male asked Kyoya, who was scribbling something down in his note pad.

"Ah, Honey, lovely of you to join us." Kyoya smiled at him and then at the extremely tall, black haired male next to him.

"Honey, Mori!" The twins exclaimed while Xavier looked at them, not knowing who they were. The other members seemed happy to see them too.

"Who is this?" Honey asked, his attention going to Xavier. Xavier didn't really fit the bill to be a host.

"This is Xavier, Renge's cousin! He's our newest host member!" Tamaki exclaimed, patting Xavier's head. He expected an outburst from Xavier, but the delinquent male decided to let Tamaki slide on it.

"Yeah, I'm Xavier. Nice to meet you." He stood and shook their hands.

"This is Honey and Mori. They graduated right before you came here." Haruhi told him as he sat back down. "I'm happy you two were able to visit. The guests will be really surprised."

"Oh good! You still have yummy cakes, rightttt?" Honey asked as Yuukio pushed a cart over to him.

"When I heard you were about to arrive I decided I'd go get all your favorites." She smiled as Honey hugged her and she smiled at Mori. "I'm really happy to see you two again, it feels like forever."

"It does!" Honey said as he pushed the cart over to a table, pulling Mori with him so they could eat.

Xavier watched them for a second before sitting again, yawning. "Today has been so good."

"Finally having a good day?" Yuukio questioned as she walked by him, her blue dress matching her eyes. "You know, it's not very nice to talk about my best friend that way. I'll have to come over today and see how she's doing. I know it's killing her not to be able to catch up with Mori and Honey."

"I think she'll live. She always gets what she wants, you know." He told her with an eye roll. "I got to wake up without her yelling, and ate my breakfast in peace and got to have an enjoyable car ride here. It was so great." He sighed happily. "Plus this weather is the best." He glanced to the window. It was a soft drizzle outside, but the windows were still open. There was a warm air and the rain was making a calming sound. "Kind of makes me want to sing."

"The guests will have a great time today then." Haruhi added, looking to his guitar.

"You can sing?" Honey asked, mouth full of cake. Xavier smirked at him, liking him.

"Yes I can, lil' man." He nodded his head, pulling out his guitar and tuning it. "He's really quite adorable."

"Just don't take his sweets away." Yuukio whispered the warning to him before she went over to her table to drink her tea and relax. Tamaki was whining to Haruhi once more about the dress, Hikaru was caught in between wanting her to wear the dress, and trying to get Tamaki to stop harassing her, Kaoru was smitten with Yuukio, Kyoya was wishing Tamaki would stop whining, and Xavier was just there, taking it all in as he fiddled with his guitar.

"Boss, come on." Hikaru argued, breaking Xavier's train of thought. He set his guitar next to the couch and looked behind him, seeing Hikaru looking pissed at Tamaki.

"Noooo!" Tamaki whined, being over dramatic as ever. Haruhi was stuck in the middle of the tow, being yanked back and forth between the two males. Xavier wasn't going to intervene, because that was usually someone else's job, but, Kaoru was a little preoccupied with Yuukio, discussing a book she was reading.

"Don't let him get carried away like that!" Hikaru exclaimed, this was directed at Haruhi.

"Eh, you two." Xavier decided it was time to stop this before Hikaru lost his head. "You can't treat dove like that, she's a lady." He pulled Haruhi away from them, putting his arms over her shoulders and leaning on her a little as her back pressed against him. "Tamaki, you should know better than to push her around like a doll." He was trying to keep his tone in a light and teasing manner. He was in a good mood and he didn't want the day to get ruined.

"B-B-But-"

"But bollocks." Xavier told him, wagging his finger. "If dove doesn't want to do it, you can't force her. I know she's a darling, but you two got to treat her better." He glanced to Hikaru, who looked frustrated. "I don't know how you do it dove." He looked down at her as she looked up at him. "Every day, having boys fight over you, must be exhausting."

"I'm used to these idiots by now." She said bluntly, making Hikaru and Tamaki both groan. Xavier laughed loudly as the guests began to arrive.

"Awah, look how cute they are!" A girl exclaimed, seeing Xavier and Haruhi together. Seeing Xavier with his arms around Haruhi made her face turn red and steam came out of her ears. "So cute!"

"They are!" Her friend exclaimed. Haruhi still couldn't get over how easily these girls were worked up.

"Honey, Mori!" Misake chimed, hurrying past the two fangirls over to the two males. "What a surprise to see you!"

"We decided to pop in for a visit!" Honey said and Xavier was surprised at how cute he really was. A few guests flocked over to them, asking how they were doing and what they were doing here.

"You can let me go now." Haruhi muttered to Xavier, who just held her closer.

"Oh, come on dove, any one would kill to be in my arms." He smirked and she gave him a look before breaking free of his grip. "You sure know how to shoot a lad down, don't you?"

"I get a lot of practice here." She smirked back at him, knowing he wasn't hurt at all by her. He smirked back at her and went back to his couch, plopped down as Abby joined him.

"You look to be in a good mood." She told him with a large smile on her face, like always. She was always happy and cheerful.

"Who wouldn't be in a good mood with such a cute girl sitting next to him?" He questioned, charming the dress off of her. "You want to hear a song?" He reached for her guitar as she squealed.

"That would be lovely!" Misaki sat down on the other side of the couch. He grinned at them and began playing.

"_Life's a tangled web of cell phone calls and hashtag I-don't-knows, and you, you're so caught up in all the blinking lights and dial tones. I admit I'm a bit of a victim in the worldwide system too but I've found my sweet escape when I'm alone with you. Tune out the static sound of the city that never sleeps. Here in the moment on the dark side of the screen."_ He sang, smiling at Abby. _"I like the summer rain. I like the sounds you make. We put the world away, we get so disconnected. You are my getaway, you are my favorite place. We put the world away. Yeah we're so disconnected."_

"This sounds wonderful." One of the twin's guests sighed and Hikaru shot her a look as Xavier continued to play. A warm breeze blew into the room and Hikaru brushed his bangs back.

"_Turn off the radio, those late night TV shows. Hang up the telephone and just be here with me. I like the summer rain, I like the sounds you make. We put the world away we get so disconnected. You are my getaway. You are my favorite place. We put the world away. Yeah we're so disconnected."_

* * *

"Isn't Xavier the cutest?" A classmate of Hikaru's giggled as Xavier dropped off a few cough drops for Renge. They were in homeroom and Renge still couldn't speak, but she was at school. Xavier had to bring her the cough drops since she left them in the car.

"Oh yes, he's so handsome….I want a boyfriend like him….." Another sighed and Hikaru shifted his eyes towards the male, who was patting Renge's back, smirking a little that she still couldn't speak. "He's so charming.."

"And sweet and that accent." Another added, all three watching him closely. "I like how he moves…"

"He's so cool!"

"He's so talented too." A male student joined into it.

"What's the big deal…" Hikaru grumbled to Kaoru, who patted his shoulder. How did he get guys and girls?!

"He's good with the ladies…." Kaoru shrugged as they watched him walk by the girls, smiling at them and they smiled back. He winked at the male and chuckled when his face got red.

"Hey guys." He greeted the twins and Haruhi and smiled at Haruhi. "How are you, dove?"

"You are having too much fun with this." Haruhi muttered, glancing to the girls and boy who were swooning over him.

"It's been dry lately, I need something." He complained and sighed as Haruhi hit his arm. "It's a natural thing I do. Relax, I won't mess with them…..too young." He complained. "I like my age or older. I don't fuck around with kids."

"Xavier." Kaoru told him and he laughed, shaking his head.

"I'm joking, for real you three, relax." He smiled at them, teeth bright and eyes lit up. The week had been a good week for them. Renge, while she was here, couldn't speak, so she hadn't been harassing Xavier. "I guess I should go to class. See you three later." He waved to them and was out the door.

"He's a dork." Haruhi rolled her eyes and went to her desk, leaving the twins to themselves.

"I don't get it." Hikaru complained again, pouting to his twin. "How does he get them all?" He couldn't believe how easily his classmates fell for him. How did he do it? Hikaru really needed to know, or he and Haruhi weren't going to get anywhere.

"He gave me really good advice about Yuukio. Why don't you ask him?" Kaoru suggested and Hikaru shot him a look. "You know he's not trying to move in on Haruhi. What's your problem with him?"

Hikaru had to think about that one. He really didn't have an issues with Xavier. They didn't argue all that much and he tended to let the twins be and do what they wanted. He really didn't have much reason to hate Xavier.

* * *

Hikaru didn't want to do this. This was embarrassing, but he was hopeless in this area. He really needed help and Xavier seemed to be the only one who actually knew what to do.

"Can I talk to you?" Hikaru questioned when he finally found Haruhi and Xavier's table in the library later that day. Xavier looked a little sleepy, and Haruhi's bag was there, so she was probably off getting a few books.

"Yeah?" Xavier looked at Hikaru, who had a nervous expression on his face. He was going to take a nap, he always needed one of those, but, Hikaru looked like he needed help. "What's up?"

"Where's Haruhi?" He questioned, looking around nervously. "I just….need…help."

"What's the problem?" Xavier could tell from Hikaru's red face that it had something to do with Haruhi.

"Oh, hello Hikaru." Haruhi came up behind the twin just as he was about to open his mouth. He jumped, startled, and froze up. "What are you doing here?"

"Ah, nothing, dove. Why don't you come over to my place after school Hikaru? I'll loan you those CDs you wanted to borrow." Xavier said smoothly and Haruhi sat down at her seat, not thinking anything of it. "That's alright, yeah?"

"Y-yeah, okay." Hikaru nodded his head and turned around quickly, leaving the two alone.


	13. You're Cold and I Burn

**I can't wait to get to the part I know you guys will love.**

**Thanks for all the reviews! They really mean a lot and get me motivated to write!**

* * *

The car stopped at Xavier's house and he got out and strolled up to the door, knocking a few times. He was really thankful that Xavier seemed to know what he wanted to ask and was so quick to lie earlier, saving Hikaru from the embarrassment.

"I'm here for Xavier?" Hikaru questioned to the maid as he came in. She nodded her head and shut the door before leading him up to Xavier's room. She knocked and spoke in French.

"Yo." Xavier opened the door a few seconds later. He let Hikaru in and thanked the maid before he shut the door and locked in behind him.

The room was like the last time he had been there, messy, with pillows tossed all over his bed. It smelled nice in the room and not at all like smoke, so that was a plus. He felt a little odd being here and he knew Xavier was watching him as he looked around his room.

"What's the problem, mate? Need help with dove?" Xavier was going to have fun with this. He sat down on his bed as Hikaru thought over what he wanted to say. "Hey, you don't have to be so nervous about this, yeah?" He felt a little bad for the guy but he was amused by it. He leaned back on the bed, propping himself up with his elbows.

"You know why I'm here." Hikaru grumbled, feeling flustered.

"Look, don't get all embarrassed about this, seriously. I'm not an expert, but, I am more help than the rest of the lot and I'll help you out." Xavier told him with a shrug. Hikaru looked surprised and kind of happy. It was a little cute. "And I know we don't get along the best, but, eh." He shrugged at this and waited as Hikaru thought about it.

Hikaru didn't dislike the male once he found out Xavier wasn't a threat. He began to like him a lot more, actually, when he found out Xavier was sort of on his side. "I don't really have people to talk to this about, okay?" He started, sighing. "It's kind of just…Kaoru." He couldn't tell anyone else in the club about this, and he was too embarrassed to talk to Yuukio about it.

"I get that." Xavier said and patting the spot next to him on the bed. Hikaru plopped down, sighing once more.

"So, what should I do?" Hikaru asked, looking to Xavier, who was watching him.

"First off, try to control yourself when Tamaki is with her." Xavier started, deciding that if he was going to help Hikaru with this, he might as well do a damn good job. "Showing jealousy can let the girl…or boy, know that you like them. Dove is a little…..oblivious to these things I guess. She can't tell, but everyone else will catch on soon, I caught on pretty fast." He explained, hoping Hikaru would listen to him. "You really let your emotions show, and that's not bad, but you need to contain them a bit."

"I can do that." Hikaru told him, trying to be open with his advice, though he was a little offended at what Xavier was telling him.

"Dove doesn't know you like her, so you don't have to worry about that. I really think controlling the whole 'jealously' thing will help you two immensely. It pisses dove off when you behave like that, so, seriously, stop it." He saw Hikaru furrow his eyebrows. "You can get mad at what I'm saying. Not expecting to just go with everything. It's going to take time for you to adjust."

"I can do it!" Hikaru exclaimed, balling his fist. He really wanted to go out with Haruhi and he was willing to do anything for it. "I want this."

"Alright, and I'll help you. From here on out, you and I are mates, yeah?" He told him. "Kaoru and Yuukio don't need much of my help, but you…..you do." He smirked as Hikaru pouted at him. "How about I let you borrow this CD? Dove really enjoyed it." He got up now and went over to his CD shelf, thumbing through the CDs until he found the one he wanted. "The 1975. They sang that Robbers song I sang at the party." He turned around and walked back over to the bed, handing it to Hikaru. "Might as well take a CD with you. Dove might ask you about it."

"Thanks." Hikaru took it, looking it over in his hands, wondering what it sounded like. It looked so plan, just black with a white rectangle on the front with the band's name in it. "Is that all?"

"I think we should take it one step at a time. Dove is…complicated…." Xavier sat on his computer chair, leaning back in it. "Plus, I don't need you overdoing it. Tackle one issue at a time."

"Alright….I can do that." This was a lot easier than he thought it was going to be. It would be hard at first, but he just had to get used to it.

* * *

"I'm just saying." Xavier told John the next Tuesday as they walked down the hallway after class. "Is it really that wrong to wish Renge would lose her voice again?" Renge's voice had returned that morning and she was using it like no tomorrow, which meant Xavier was back in his mood.

"No, not really." John replied, not being a huge fan of Renge. "I don't get what her problem is. She's an otaku."

"And I'd the odd one in my family." Xavier muttered with an eyeroll. "She's just always breathing down my back about something. I don't know what her deal is. I kind of just roll through life."

"She has nothing better to do." John told him, hoping to make him feel better. He noticed someone staring at them as they walked and he nudged Xavier. "Hikaru is staring at you, again."

"It's fine. We're mates now." Xavier nodded to Hikaru, who was standing to the side with Kaoru and one of their classmates. He nodded back and John just looked at Xavier.

"I thought he hated you?"

"Until he found out I can help him get a girlfriend." Xavier smirked, a little entertained at the thought. "Poor lad is lost about it, though you can't really blame him with how the twins were, or are. I gave him some advice last week and he's been friendlier to me since then. I don't know, he's not as bad as I thought he was, I suppose." They hadn't really talked more than that, but Hikaru had a friendlier vibe to him when he was around Xavier.

"That's good. It's nice that you're helping him, though I don't know if you're the best person to go to for relationship advice." John muttered and Xavier elbowed him.

"It's not so much relationship advice. It's more like how to get the girl to like you, and he has a specific girl he wants, so, it makes it easier. He's been doing pretty decently." Xavier was a tad surprised at Hikaru. While he still argued with Tamaki, it wasn't nearly as bad as it was before. For only a few days, he was improving greatly. "He still has a long way to go before he's ready to confess to anyone."

* * *

"Xavier you look so handsome!" Abby cheered during the host club. The weather was still nice out so they were all outside in the gardens. Xavier smiled at her, though he hated the waiter uniform he was force to put on.

"Thank you, love, you always have sweet things to say." He set her tea down in front of her with a smile. "But you are far cuter than I could ever hope to be."

"You are such a charmer." Misaki smirked at him, happy to see how happy Abby was. The two girls had been getting along very well and she enjoyed the little group they had going on. She really enjoyed Xavier too, mostly because he was now her boyfriend's best friend. The two males had spent all weekend together, geeking out over music.

"Love, I try my best." He bowed slightly, chuckling. "Anything else you need?" He asked Abby, who just shook her head. "Good. I am beat." He sat down in the chair across from the two girls, sighing. "I don't know where they get these theme ideas from."

"It's a beautiful day." The twins said together to their guests, who were of course, swooning over them. "Not as beautiful as you, of course."

"And you call me a charmer." Xavier told Misaki, rolling his eyes. "Imagine having two of me."

"That sounds lovely!" Abby squealed and Xavier shook his head at the younger girl. She got carried away so easily.

"One of me is plenty." He replied, watching the twins do another 'brotherly love' act. They were great at fooling their guests and had them sold. "Doesn't it freak you out how in sync they are…?" He still wasn't used to it at this point. It was just so weird how they knew what each other were going to say.

"They've really come a long way." Misaki told the two. "They were so closed off when we were younger. They always kept walls up, but, last year they began to open up and now they're really sweet and friendly."

"They still have a long way to go." Xavier rested his chin on his hand and watched them, rolling his eyes.

Yuukio and Kaoru were doing fine, and they didn't really need his help, though Yuukio always called asking for advice. Hikaru was doing…alright. He went to lunch with Haruhi on Saturday, Xavier's advice, and walked her home yesterday, also Xavier's advice. He knew Hikaru was worried about Haruhi, but, he should have more confidence in himself when it came to her.

"Let's play 'The Which One Is Hikaru Game'!" The twins exclaimed, each wearing an ugly green hat. Xavier watched as their guests tried to guess, but none of them were right. Xavier didn't blame them, he couldn't tell them apart.

He focused his attention back on Abby and Misaki, letting them tell him about their day. He got up to get them more tea and jumped when he felt a towel smack his ass. "What in the bloody hell!?" He exclaimed, turning around and seeing the twins snickering, a rolled up towel in Hikaru's hands. "Ah, Hikaru, don't get cheeky." He told him, raising his eyebrows.

"Just having a bit of fun." Hikaru smirked and the guests watched them, seeing what they would do.

"If you want to have more fun like that then you should just come home with me." Xavier winked at Hikaru. He was thrown off for a second, but grinned.

"Sorry but Kaoru already called dibs on me." He put his arm around Kaoru's shoulders, playing into their brotherly love.

"I'm not opposed to threesomes." Xavier shrugged and the girls squealed at the thought of Xavier and the twins together. "Do you want to hear a story?" He turned back to Abby and Misaki as Haruhi pushed a cart with tea and treats on it.

"Yes!" They and the others guests squealed. He sat back down and a few guests came over to his table, wanting to hear the story.

"I don't know if it's suitable for the club. It's about my first threesome with my roommate and his girlfriend." He chuckled as the girls' faces went red but they stayed where they were.

"Xavier." Haruhi said in a warning tone, filling up the girls' teacups.

"Well, the girl wasn't exactly his girlfriend and she came in more towards the end."

"This is a boy love story!?" A girl exclaimed and they all cheered.

"I guess you could call it that if you want, it did include a boy." Xavier was amused by these girls. "This bloke was only my roommate for about two months, but he had these blue eyes and black hair and a perfect body." He chuckled when the girls leaned in. Tamaki and Kyoya were too busy with their guests to hear him, so he kept going.

"Xavier!" Yuukio's face went red when she heard him start the story. "I don't think you should tell that story."

"But Yuukio…." Abby whined to the model. "I want to hear this."

"So how about his….whatever she was, got him all worked up and left. So I come in later and he's an absolute mess." Xavier continued the story, all eyes on him. "Me being the great mate I help, decided to help him out. I don't know what really happened but an hour later she comes back and she sees us and I think she's going to murder us, but he asks if she wants to join and yeah."

"My goodness." Yuukio said, cheeks still red. All the girls' faces were red, imaging what happened.

"I tried to keep it PG." He told her, a smirk on his lips as the girls fantasied. "By the way, I'm never on bottom." He glanced at them and they all squealed again. "I would love to go into more detailed but you loves are far too sweet and innocent to hear that."

"You give them too much credit." Haruhi mumbled.


	14. Free Bar, That's The Point

**Hey, look, if you don't like my story, then please don't waste your time reviewing. We all have opinions and I don't really care if you don't like my story. Other people do, and I do, and that's all that matters, because you seriously just took time out of your day to come onto my profile and see if I had decided to redo the previous story, then wasted more time to review. Put your time to better use.**

**To all my other reviewers, favorites, and follows, thank you!**

**I decided to update quickly because the last chapter and this chapter seem a little boring to me, even though they're important to the story, and yall were so sweet in the reviews and yall deserved another chapter. **

**I PROMISE THE FUN STUFF IS GOING TO START SOON I KEEP SAYING IT BUT I'VE WRITTEN LIKE 10 CHAPTERS AHEAD SO I KIND OF FORGET WHERE THE FUN BEGANS**

* * *

Xavier didn't feel like going to school Wednesday, so he didn't. He took a well-deserved day off and stretched out on his bed all day, smoking and goofing off. He really got nothing productive done but he needed to take a day off. He was getting tired and his brain was too worn-out to deal with idiots.

There was knock at his door and he groaned, hating that he had to get up. Sure, he could keep his door unlocked all the time, but, did he want the maids and Renge snooping through his things? No.

"What?" He questioned when he opened the door, an annoyed expression on his face.

"You don't look very sick." Haruhi said, standing there. He let her in and shut the door behind her before any maids could get to him. "So why did you skip school?"

"I'm mentally tired." He told her, lighting up a fag as she set her bag down by his bed. "You came to check up on me, dove? You're so lovely."

"I just wanted to make sure you weren't sick. Are you okay?" She sat on his bed, looking at him.

"Some days I just need me time." He shrugged, opening up the window on the other side of his room. It was cold out, but he didn't care as he blew smoke out of it. "I was about to watch a move. You going to join?"

"Well…" She didn't have any plans today and it was too cloudy out to do laundry. "Sure."

"So you like this movie?" Haruhi asked halfway through the movie. They were both at the end of his bed, sharing a bowl of popcorn and two sodas.

"Yeah, like, I know it's kinda stupid, but I sort of like romantic comedies." He admitted, chuckling. "I don't like the cutesy shit but eh…" He shrugged and took a handful of popcorn. "Mum loves these movies. We'd used to watch them when I came home from breaks and my father was out of town. Jackal likes them too. It's a Labelle thing I suppose."

"I like your family. They seem like a lot of fun."

"God, they are. Bunch of dorks but they get me. I know it seems like I wouldn't, but I do love my family, my mother's side, a lot. Wasn't her idea to ship me off to boarding school for seven years or send me over here." He put the popcorn in his mouth and watched the tv. "Jackal was furious. He wanted me to stay in America because I was doing so well and the paparazzi left me alone…but eh."

There was another knock at the door and Xavier paused the movie and got up, groaning the whole time. He opened the door and Hikaru was there, looking a little awkward. He was surprised to see Haruhi laying on the bed. He shot a look at Xavier and he invited Hikaru in. "Come on in. We're watching movies."

"Oh…am I…?" Hikaru questioned but Xavier shut the door and pulled Hikaru over to the bed.

"Make room." Haruhi scooted over and Xavier moved the popcorn bowl and laid down on his side and let Hikaru lay between them. "Much better." Xavier settled down and turned on the movie again. "Guessing you came to check up on me too, Hikaru?"

"Yes." Hikaru nodded his head. He actually had come over to talk to Xavier about Haruhi and he was a little angry to see Haruhi lying in bed with Xavier, but, it seemed innocent enough.

"Anyway, I guess it's stressful to grow up in the spotlight." Haruhi mumbled, thinking about it. Being a child surrounded by people with those bright flashing lights in your eyes.

"Especially being the son of a business tycoon and expected to take over the business….but being from a family of entertainers and expecting to be the next family star. At the same time." He kept his eyes on the screen. "I came out blond haired and gray eyed and my father knew from the start I was going to be like my mother. Jackal taught me guitar and it was the only thing I was confident in and then they ended their marriage and it went to hell." He glanced at Hikaru and back to the screen. "We'll finish this one and pick a new one so Hikaru won't be lost."

"What were you two talking about?" Hikaru asked, now interested. Xavier didn't seem to want to talk anymore, but Hikaru did.

"Just family stuff." Xavier said and rolled off the bed. "Piss break." He went off into his bathroom, leaving the two.

"We were talking about how hard it was for him to grow up with his father being a big time business tycoon and his mother being an actress. Paparazzi followed us everywhere when we went to Paris." Haruhi told Hikaru, popping a piece of popcorn into her mouth. "I was thinking how horrible that must be. Going through a divorce with the paparazzi breathing down your neck when you're only fifteen."

"Oh…" Hikaru hadn't really thought about it before like that. Xavier returned a few minutes later and got back onto his spot without saying anything.

* * *

"I'm going to hang out with Yuukio today after school, is that alright?" Kaoru asked Hikaru when they put their things up in the club room's closest. "I didn't think you'd mind."

"You don't have to get permission from me." Hikaru mumbled, shrugging. He knew this was going to start happening more often, so he needed to start busying himself after school so he wouldn't feel lonely or awkward. "I already have plans today anyway." This was a lie, but he didn't want to seem like a loser.

"Oh, good. What are you doing after school today?" Kaoru asked, surprised by this.

"I'm tutoring him today. The bloke is rubbish with French." Xavier piped up, noticing Hikaru's lie. He didn't understand why the male had lied to his twin, but that wasn't his business.

"Yup!" Hikaru exclaimed, glancing to Xavier, wondering why he helped him. "I don't want mom complaining again about how I can't speak French." He followed Kaoru out of the room, nodding at Xavier as they left.

* * *

"Why did you help me out back there?" Hikaru asked when Xavier shut the door to his bedroom. He had to go home with Xavier, or Kaoru would get suspicious.

"You seemed to be in a pinch." Xavier opened up his large window and lit a fag, glancing at Hikaru. "Why'd you lie?"

"I didn't want to seem like a loser. He's been going out with Yuukio and I've been stuck at home…plus, I think he's starting to feel bad about leaving me behind. I'm not a kid, though. I'm fine by myself." Hikaru muttered, sitting on Xavier's bed.

"You don't like being alone or something?" He blew out smoke and walked away from the window, holding it in his hand.

"I've never been alone much. Just Kaoru and I." Hikaru mumbled. "But it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be, it's just boringgggggggg!"

"Well you're luck seems to be out, because I'm not interesting." Xavier chuckled, taking another slow drag. "You listen to that CD I lent you?"

"Yes, actually. It was…..okay." He didn't really know how to describe it. It was decent, after he looked up the lyrics. "It's a you band." He looked up some of the music videos too, and he realized why Xavier loved them.

"Only Okay? Mate, you're takin' a piss out me right?" Xavier turned, looking at the ginger male. "Guess you might not like it. You probably like that bubblegum pop. Not that it's bad…..just…..no emotion in half of it. Gotta have meaning for it to work with me." He put the fag out in his ash tray and tossed his uniform jacket onto the floor.

"Pop is okay." He shrugged his own jacket off and set it on the bed and then loosened his tie as Xavier shredded off the tie and shirt, his back to Hikaru as he pulled on a black shirt and kicked off his pants and pulled gray sweatpants on. He leaned over and tapped on his computer, logging in, and sighing when he looked at something.

Hikaru watched him as he typed something and sent it, sighing again as he turned around. "Sorry, pops only likes to talk to me through email and my phone is of course dead." He pulled it out of his pocket and plugged it in. "I guess he dislikes the sound of my lovely voice."

"Would you actually answer his phone calls?" Hikaru questioned, getting comfy on his bed. He had been here enough, he was getting pretty comfortable. Plus, the bed was amazingly soft. He stretched out on it, sighing happily.

"You got me there." Xavier sat next to him, setting the phone on his nightstand. "So, uh, I usually just…watch tv. Like I said, I'm not interesting."

"Cool by meeee!" He rolled over to face the tv on the wall and Xavier looked at him, confused by his cool demeanor. Guess Hikaru was used to him by now. He moved next to him and turned on the tv, letting Hikaru pick the show.

"So, how's it going with dove?" He asked after a little while of watching tv.

"It's okay. Boss has been hanging around her a little more but tomorrow after the club I'm going with her when she goes to the supermarket." He said, keeping his eyes on the screen. "I don't think she gets it…"

"You goin' confess?" He asked, glancing over at the twin. His face was red and he shook his head.

"N-Not yet. I'm trying to get more used to it." He mumbled, embarrassed. "I'm not a ladies man like you."

"Me? A ladies man?" He chuckled at this. "Mate it ain't too hard to get the birds and blokes I get. They're practically beggin' for it. Anyone will do when you're drunk and horny. I leave before they wake up or they leave before I wake up."

"That's….awful." Hikaru said, thinking about it. He wouldn't want that. He'd want to wake up next to someone and feel them next to him. "Doesn't that get lonely?"

"Love, I don't do it for company." He got off the bed and went over to his computer when he heard a ding, meaning he got an email. He furrowed his brows and typed rapidly, his fingers hitting the keys hard. "I do it for the sex." He glanced back to Hikaru as he said this and then back to the screen. "I know to you lot, that's awful. Using someone just for that night of pleasure, but that's life." He sent off the email and went back to the bed, climbing on it and settling down just as his email went off again. "Fuck that." He grumbled, getting comfortable.

Sex wasn't foreign to Hikaru. He was a sixteen year old male, he definitely knew what sex was. However, he had no experience with that, or dating, or even kissing.

"Sorry if it's so blunt but I tend to be like that." He cracked his neck after he said this and started watching the show again.

"What's it like?" Hikaru asked and Xavier looked at him and he looked back.

"First time is a mess. Mine was. Super sloppy in a coat closet at a party. Slightly drunk." He explained thinking about her. "Her name was Britney…no…Helena….nope…something posh I think." He chuckled, not even remembering her face. "Second time was with a bloke, my roommate. That was a learning experience." He remembered that one clearly. "Neither of us really knew what to do. Gay porn was not a good tutorial for it."

"Really?" Hikaru was a little embarrassed by it, but, Xavier turned out to be a little interesting.

"Neither of us had been with blokes before and we both wanted to be on top. Of course, I got that position." He smirked and Hikaru rolled his eyes. "It wasn't so bad once we knew what we were doing."

"Which do you like better?" He asked and Xavier raised his eyebrows.

"Hikaru, you ask a lot of questions, you know." He replied, not sure if he should keep talking about this.

"I like to know things." He smirked and Xavier rolled his eyes.

"How about I actually help you with French instead? It won't look good if you're still rubbish in it after getting tutoring from me." He rolled off the bed and went over to Hikaru's bag.

"Howwwwwwwwwww about we play Super Smash Bros?" Hikaru replied, seeing the game system and the game by the tv.

"An hour of studying and then we play." Xavier suggested a compromise. "If you don't do well in French, I'll be blamed since I'm your…tutor…"

"Fine."


	15. Don't You Mind? Don't You Mind?

**Tell me what you think about thissssss!**

**FINALLY WE GET TO IT**

**THE FUN**

* * *

"How did you do on that French quiz?" Haruhi asked him two weeks later as they left the class.

"Uh, I passed it, actually." He told her. Kaoru and Haruhi gave him surprised looks, because Hikaru never really passed French things.

"Tutoring paid off." Kaoru said with a shrug. "I guess Xavier is a really good tutor." He continued, nodding his head with a small smile. "I'm glad you and Xavier are getting along."

"Me too. I knew you two would hit it off eventually. Only took like, five months." Haruhi muttered, rolling her eyes. She was happy Xavier and Hikaru were friends. Hikaru needed to make other friends. She was worrying a bit about him, because he wanted to hang around her with so much. She wanted him to go out with other people, but, she didn't mind taking him with her when she ran errands. He carried her bags for her, which was nice.

"Yeah yeah." He mumbled, bumping shoulders with Haruhi. He spent the entire weekend with her, just about, a few days over the week, and he felt awkward and weird and nervous. He was going over to Xavier's today, the male didn't know it yet, to try and get him to help him with this nervousness. He felt comfortable in Xavier's room. It was weird, but I guess this was what it was like to make a new friend.

"Senpai, off." Haruhi mumbled as Tamaki hugged her before the club started. Hikaru was trying to control his temper and Xavier patted Hikaru's shoulder, feeling a little bad for him. He was doing the best he could, but it sort of seemed like a losing battle.

While Hikaru was getting closer to Haruhi, so was Tamaki.

"I'm coming over to your house today." Hikaru told Xavier, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Okay." Xavier replied, nodding his head. He felt bad for Hikaru, because this was his first crush and he had competition for her. Yeah, Tamaki didn't exactly know his feelings, but Xavier was starting to think Tamaki was catching on. "How was the French quiz?"

"Oh, I passed." Hikaru said and looked at Xavier, who had a small smile on his face.

"Seriously? Brilliant job, mate." He patted, shaking Hikaru's shoulder a bit affectionately. He was surprised that Xavier was actually…proud of him? Were they friends now? He had been going over to Xavier's house a lot lately and Xavier was actually a really good tutor. He didn't yell at Hikaru or get frustrated. He was slow with it and didn't move onto the next subject until Hikaru understood what they were doing. "Guess I did a decent tutor job."

"You weren't bad. Better than the other tutors I've had." He said and Xavier smirked as the guests came into the room.

"I do my best." He nodded and took his hand off of Hikaru's shoulders. "Talk to you after club." He left Hikaru, going to sit with his guests.

* * *

"So what's up?" Xavier questioned when he and Hikaru entered his room. He did his whole routine, locking the door, pulling his uniform off and changing into other clothes, opening a window and having his after school smoke, while Hikaru rolled on his bed, watching him do all of this.

"Do you think Haruhi likes me back?" Hikaru asked, fiddling with one of the pillows thrown about the bed. He could feel that his cheeks were pink and he felt a little embarrassed. "I've spent the past two weekends with her but I can't tell. I know she's hanging out with Tamaki after school today." He wasn't happy about this. "It seems like the more time I spend with her, Tamaki spends even more time with her."

"I don't know. Dove is so hard to read." Xavier leaned against his desk, blowing out smoke. "I think Tamaki is starting to realize his feelings for her." Xavier didn't want to crush Hikaru, but honestly, he didn't think Haruhi had feelings for either of the males.

"Urg!" Hikaru groaned, hitting the bed with a balled fist. "Let's talk about something else." Hikaru turned to look at Xavier, who was finishing up his cigarette. He tensed up and looked away from Hikaru. Hikaru liked to ask him personal questions, and while he understood why, it made him feel weird how Hikaru asked so bluntly. Plus, Hikaru was so…innocent? Well, he was a blank piece of paper just waiting to be written on and Xavier had problems writing on perfectly clean paper like Hikaru.

"What do you want to talk about?" He put out the cigarette in a nearby ash tray.

"Tell me about your ex-girlfriend." Hikaru sat up, holding the pillow in his lap. Everytime he came over, he tried to pull information out of Xavier. He wanted to know about Xavier, but the blond male wasn't very open.

"Monique?" Xavier questioned, shivering when he said her name. "I don't want to talk about her." He was thinking of smoking another cigarette if this continued.

"Is she pretty?" Hikaru asked, pushing forward with the topic. Xavier sighed, messing on his phone as Hikaru looked at him.

"Yeah." He mumbled, thinking about her. "She's gorgeous. A psycho, but a beautiful one." He made a disgusted face, thinking about their relationship. "It was a mess and if I never saw her again, I'd be happy."

"What happened between you two?" Hikaru asked and Xavier shook his head.

"Nothing." Xavier told him, sitting down on his computer chair and starting up his laptop to respond to emails. "Anything else you want to ask?"

"Fine. What about your parents?" Hikaru asked, giving up on Monique.

"What do you want to know about them? Sure you already know about them." Xavier said, not seeing any emails so he turned back around, facing Hikaru. "Mom is an actress, dad is a CEO tycoon boring business man. They spilt when I was fifteen. Kind of relieved when they did. All they did was fight. Well, dad fought, mom tried, she tried so hard to keep everything together, but dad just shut it all down. He can't do shit in a relationship. I don't know how he as the bird he has now."

"Your dad didn't try?" Hikaru leaned in now, surprised Xavier was opening up to him like this.

"Of course not." Xavier was angry just thinking about it. "The marriage wasn't what he wanted and I wasn't the child he wanted. Mom was too…she was too great for him. She still is. My mother is such a saint for putting up with an arse like him and I don't know how she put up with it for sixteen years." He ranted, running his fingers through his hair. "But it doesn't matter now."

"Did you start drinking and smoking after they divorced?" Hikaru asked and Xavier looked tired of the questions.

"Basically. Probably why Monique found me so attractive. I tend to carry that whole 'bad boy' air that girls are so attracted to until they realize how unfun it is to be with blokes like me." He rolled his eyes. "Did you come over for me to tutor you?"

"We're friends now, so, I can come over just to spend time with you." Hikaru told him and Xavier raised his eyebrows. "It's true! But…." He trailed off, messing with the pillow again. "I'm still nervous around Haruhi."

"So?" Xavier asked, getting up out of the chair and sitting down on the bed with Hikaru. "That's normal when you have a crush."

"I know that, but…" He didn't know how to say this. "I'm going out with her this weekend, and what if she wants me to kiss her?"

"Then….kiss her." Xavier replied like it was the easiest thing in the world. "What's the problem?"

"I don't know how to kiss!" Hikaru exclaimed, freaking out. "What if I do a horrible job and she never wants to go out with me again?" He questioned as Xavier just looked at him, amused.

"Mate, relax. We all have firsts." He shrugged like it was nothing. "It's not really that big of a deal. You're stressing out about it too much."

"What about your first kiss?" Hikaru asked. "Look, I got to talk to someone about this. My brother has just as much experience as I do."

"I don't remember my first kiss, honestly. I've kissed a lot of people since then." Xavier said and Hikaru looked at him with wide eyes. Xavier didn't get why he was making that face until in clicked in his head. "Mate I am not teaching you how to kiss!"

"Xavier, please!" Hikaru whined, latching onto Xavier. "What's the point of you helping me get her if I can't kiss?"

"Hikaru, I don't think this is a great idea." He liked Hikaru. He was good company since Haruhi was so busy lately. He listened to Xavier talk about whatever he wanted to talk about. Sure, sometimes Hikaru tried to get him to open up, but he would often give up and Xavier would start rambling about music and Hikaru listened for a good twenty minutes before declaring his was bored and they would start studying or play video games.

"Come on!" Hikaru was practically in his lap now and Xavier looked away, trying not to give in. He didn't know what to do. Kissing Hikaru wouldn't be too bad. Despite his dislike for things like cuddling or hand holding, Xavier loved kissing.

"Hikaru I really don't think you understand." Xavier started again, telling himself this was a horrible idea. "You really just need to wait. It's not like dove has kissed tons of people, yeah? She'll be inexperienced with it too."

"But Xavier!" Hikaru wasn't going to give in that easily.

"Seriously, mate, this is not a good idea. I'm…I'm not a good person to go to for this stuff. I'm dirty and tainted, and you are not. You need to stay that way." He pushed Hikaru off of him and got off the bed, but Hikaru just followed after him. "I'm an arse, but I can't take innocence away from people."

"I'm not innocent! I know all about this stuff, I just lack the experience." Hikaru argued, getting frustrated. "Don't treat me like I'm some child."

"You're sixteen, you're supposed to be lacking experience!" Xavier told him, running his hands through his hair again, making it stick up. Who was he to take Hikaru's first kiss? Trash. That was the answer.

"Xavier, first kiss and all that stuff doesn't matter to me. I'm not a girl." He sneered. "You don't even remember your first kiss." It was silent between the two of them, before Xavier sighed. Hikaru wasn't going to give up.

"Fine, but don't tell anyone. If they find out, they'll kill me." He gave in, knowing this wouldn't turn out well. "The club would hate me forever if they knew." They would. "Especially Renge." To her, they were all clean, and Xavier was dirty.

"So what do I do first?" Hikaru asked eagerly, knowing he could get Xavier to give in.

"Okay, I'm just going to kiss you. Nothing complex, just a simple kiss." He said as he pushed Hikaru to sit down on the bed and he sat next to him. He could tell the closer he got to Hikaru's lips, the more nervous Hikaru was getting.

"O-Okay."

"Relax, love, it's just a kiss." He smirked inches from Hikaru's lips. This was amusing.

Hikaru froze when he felt Xavier's lips on his. It felt so weird but it wasn't bad. It was surprisingly nice and over before Hikaru knew it. Xavier pulled away, amusement in his eyes at how red Hikaru's face was. He felt sort of bad, taking the male's first kiss, but it felt nice to kiss someone.

"How was it?"

"I didn't expect it to be like that." Hikaru admitted. He felt butterflies in his stomach from it and his lips were tingling. He smiled, touching his fingers to his lips. "It's all tingly."

"Ha, mate, that might be something else." Xavier chuckled, shaking his head. "For someone that's so touchy feely in the club, you sure are a little bundle of nerves when it comes to the real thing."

"That stuff in the club is an act." Hikaru told him, shaking his head. "How was I?"

"You had lips." Xavier joked, smirking. "Hikaru, it was fine. It was a kiss." He was entertained about how nervous Hikaru was about it. He couldn't believe the red faced shy Hikaru was the same one that spent the last two weeks rolling all over Xavier's bed, butting into his personal life, eating his food and playing his video games.

It was pretty cute.

"I need to be a great kisser!" Hikaru exclaimed. "When I kiss her, I want it to be amazing!"

"I don't think you need to be so worried about this." Xavier told him. "So I'm supposed to tutor you in French and kissing?"

"Someone has to." Hikaru told him, excited about it. He wanted to try kissing again. It made him feel so…tingly. "Just teach me!"

"Kissing is like French, sort of. You learn by practice." Why did he agree to this?

"Teach me!" Hikaru leaned in, putting a hand on Xavier's chest. He looked at Xavier, who just leaned in again, faster this time, and kissed him again. This kiss was longer than the first and Hikaru slowly closed his eyes, leaning into it instead of being frozen in place. Just as he felt relaxed, Xavier pulled away.

"That was much better." Xavier said when Hikaru opened his eyes. "It didn't feel like I was kissing a statue. You need to relax, okay? You don't have to think about kissing, it's kind of a natural thing. If you think about it, it won't feel good. You need to just let it happen. So there, practice is done."

"B-But what about everything else?" He asked, almost whining. "Like tongue…and…biting."

"Rome wasn't built in a day." Xavier got off the bed as he said this. "All that stuff happens further along. Simple kisses don't deal with that stuff."

"Then teach me complex kisses." Hikaru told him, watching Xavier cross the room to Hikaru's bag.

"Maybe later. Time to teach you how to speak French."

* * *

Keeping it from Kaoru was difficult. He wanted to tell him so badly, but it actually felt good to have something Kaoru didn't know about. It made him feel like he was finally becoming his own person.

"Afternoon." Xavier greeted him a few days later and it startled him. "Mate, if you act like this, people will know something is up." He grumbled at how Hikaru was looking at him. Xavier knew Hikaru was going to be like this. Ever since that day the male was always startled by Xavier.

"Sorry." Hikaru mumbled, calming down. "I was in my head." He explained as he and the male walked down the hallway to the club. "I feel weird not telling Kaoru about this."

"Sorry you feel that way but you aren't telling anyone." Xavier told him, hoping this wasn't a mistake. "You know they'll think I was taking advantage of you. Obviously I can't keep it in my pants." He muttered, rolling this eyes. "If you tell him, or anyone, you won't be allowed near me. No more hanging out with me when Kaoru goes out with Yuukio."

"I won't tell." Hikaru whined, making a face. He wanted to continue being Xavier's friend. "This means we're best friends." He smirked and Xavier groaned. "Oh, best frrriiieeennnnddd!" He hooked his arm around Xavier's, getting up in his personal space, pissing Xavier off.

"Good to see you two are getting along." Yuukio giggled when they entered the club room. She was sitting with Renge, already drinking her tea and eating her cake. The others were in there already, looking at Hikaru and Xavier.

"Get off me." Xavier growled but Hikaru just tightened his hold on his arm. "We're not best friends."

"We are!" Hikaru laughed loudly as they went and dropped their stuff off. Picking on Xavier was so much fun. He couldn't believe he spent five months hating him. He had hung out with Xavier the past few days, though they didn't do any more kissing, to Hikaru's dismay. They played videogames and studied French, like normally.

"This is hell." Xavier complained, wanting Hikaru off of him.

"Awah, Xavier, we are family!" Tamaki exclaimed, coming over to the two, putting his arm around Xavier's shoulders, annoying him more. Renge was smiling at him, seeming proud of her cousin.

"Let him go." Haruhi came to Xavier's rescue, and of course Tamaki and Hikaru let him go at her words.

"Dove you are a savior." Xavier walked away from the two and towards the others. "You lot are a bunch of freaks." He sat on the couch, loosening his tie. "When is the next break?"

"Seeing as it is almost October…" Kyoya said, adjusting his glasses. "The closest school break is Christmas."

"Oh my god." He groaned and stretched his legs. "Fine. I'll continue to deal." It was getting better. Now that the twins weren't hating him, things were more bearable.

"Can I come over todayyyyyy?" Hikaru asked, coming up behind the couch. Xavier looked back at him.

"Sure. Not like I'm doing anything." Xavier shrugged. The company was nice and Xavier needed it.


	16. When The Smoke Is In Your Eyes

Hikaru didn't know how to bring up that he wanted to practice kissing again. They were sitting on Xavier's bed, watching a movie. He kept glancing at Xavier, opening his mouth to ask but closing it when no words came out. He took a deep breath, annoyed at his nervousness.

"I wanna practice kissing!" Hikaru blurted out and Xavier looked at him. "Teach me how to bite and use tongue and teach me how to be a great kisser!"

"Stop shouting, you git." Xavier said, shushing him. "Renge will hear you. You didn't have to just shout it like that."

"Well it's weird asking you all normal like." Hikaru muttered, rolling his eyes. Xavier leaned in once more and kissed him. Hikaru was frozen at first, but relaxed into it again, closing his eyes. He felt Xavier's tongue swipe across his lower lip and he made a noise. He didn't know what the noise was, but Xavier seemed to enjoy it because he repeated his action and Hikaru made the sound again. "W-What…" Hikaru mumbled when they pulled apart.

"That was the tongue part. Barely any of it, actually." Xavier said, still close to Hikaru's face. "Nice sounds." Hikaru felt embarrassed that he made those sounds. "Don't get in a tizzy. I was the same way." Xavier hoped that made him feel better. "Want to keep going?"

"Yeah." Hikaru nodded his head.

"Okay, this time, when I lick your lip, open your mouth." Xavier told him before kissing him again, putting his hands on Hikaru's waist and pulling him closer. When Xavier licked his lip, he opened his mouth slowly and squealed, pulling away when he felt something else in his mouth. "Mate, what the bloody hell!?" Xavier asked while Hikaru had his hand over his chest, his heart beating rapidly.

"W-What was that?!" Hikaru asked, other hand in front of his mouth.

"My tongue." Xavier muttered, sighing. "I know you read manga and watch porn, Hikaru. How did you not know what it was?"

"It felt different than what I was expecting." Hikaru told him, glaring at Xavier, who rolled his eyes. "Let me try again." He scooted closer to Xavier and pouted when Xavier didn't look too eager to try again. "Please?"

"Fine." He huffed and didn't give Hikaru much time before he was kissing him again, not as slow as before. He licked Hikaru's lip and Hikaru hesitantly opened his mouth, letting Xavier's tongue in.

"Mhm." Hikaru moaned when Xavier's tongue pressed against his. His hands reached out and grabbed at Xavier's hoodie, needing something to hold onto. He was starting to get into it when Xavier pulled away for air.

"Much better." Xavier told him, Hikaru still holding onto his hoodie. "Took your breath away, yeah?"

"A little." Hikaru admitted, lips tingling again. Maybe it was the male's lip ring? He started to get excited when he imagined doing that with Haruhi.

"Goin' have to learn to control that." Xavier joked, glancing down at Hikaru's pants and back up at him. "Dove won't find it cute if you pop a boner just from kissing." Hikaru's face went red and he hurried off into Xavier's bathroom to take care of it. He rolled his eyes at the sixteen year old, hoping he wasn't that flustered when he was that age.

* * *

"So, like, is Monique the only girl you've dated?" Hikaru questioned when he returned. Xavier was playing a video game and he laid next to him, watching him play.

"Uh, yeah, sort of." Xavier replied, focused in on the game. "But if she was your first girlfriend, you'd understand why she was basically my last."

"I know you don't like talking about it, but seriously man, what happened?" Hikaru continued, wanting to know. Xavier was so dodgy and if he was going to be making out with him, he wanted to know about the mouth he was kissing.

"I've known Mona for forever." Xavier started, knowing he had to tell Hikaru or the male would whine. "Families knew each other, yada yada. She goes to the school I used to attend in England, she's a singer, though she's more destined to be a sugar sweet pop star. Once my parents spilt and I kind of went a different direction, she started getting interested in me. I was really unsure about dating her, but she broke me down so I decided to give it a go. First two months were fine, then it just sort of became more like a job. I wasn't what she thought I was. I was a 'project'."

"Project?" Hikaru didn't understand that.

"You know those stupid clichés where the bird gets with the bad boy thinking she can change him?" Xavier questioned and Hikaru mumbled a 'yeah' in response. "Yeah, that was our relationship. Her trying to 'change' me and better me, which meant stealing my fags and making it impossible for me to go to any parties. It wasn't like I was going out and cheating on her. I help people cheat, but I would never cheat." He continued, getting a headache just thinking about it. "She had….we both had problems. She was raised to find a boyfriend and get married and have a great career and wonderful future and she was doing as she was taught, and I was kind of making my own path. So after six months we spilt and it was awful. Total disappointment to my father's side and I jetted myself to America with Isaac."

"Oh…" Hikaru mumbled and he went quiet, thinking about it. "So, what…."

"Happened after?" He finished Hikaru's sentence. "Went to America and slept around like usual. Hung out with Vinny and Stella and Isaac. Met some people. Played music. Things were better." He replied, chewing his lip as he waited for the next game to load. "I belong there."

"What's over there?"

"The industry, my future, my best friends." He nodded his head. "Support system mostly." He started the next game as Hikaru moved his fingers across Xavier's arm boredly, doodling designs. Xavier froze and looked at him. "What are you doing?"

"Bored." Hikaru complained, continuing his actions. "C'monnnnnnnn!" He shuffled and collapsed in Xavier's lap. Xavier groaned at this, looking down to see Hikaru on his lap. This was annoying. He looked back at the screen and continued to play, making Hikaru start to whine. Hikaru sat up now, trying to block Xavier's view but the male was a bit taller so Hikaru's plan didn't work out so well. "Borrrrrreeeeeeeddddddddd" He continued and wrapped his legs around Xavier's waist and wrapped his arms around his neck, still whining. God, Hikaru was just like Stella.

"Hikaru, please." Xavier found it more difficult to play the game with the male wrapped around him. "The door isn't locked. Hope they don't walk in and see you like this." He chuckled when Hikaru stopped for a moment, before continuing to whine.

"Xavier!" Tamaki flung open the door, the entire Host Club behind him. "Time to spend family time wi-!" He froze and so did the others after they saw Hikaru wrapped about Xavier, who was still playing his game.

"Cheers." Xavier said with a smirk as Hikaru turned to look at them.

"Hey guys." He said, still sitting on Xavier's lap. The others just stared and it was pretty funny. He thought he'd freak out, but, this was normal for Hikaru to be doing, to just about anyone, and Xavier didn't really care about what they thought anyway. "What's up?"

"What's up?" Haruhi repeated as Kaoru snickered. "What are you two doing?"

"Trying to play a game but this bloke wants attention. Someone take him for a walk." Xavier joked before turning off the game and tossing the remote onto the bed. He stood, Hikaru still on him.

"Glad to see you two are bonding." Yuukio said with an eye roll. She was smirking, but she had a weird feeling about the two of them. Xavier pulled Hikaru off of him and set him on the ground firmly, not amused.

"Why are you here?" He asked the others, stretching while Hikaru went to Kaoru's side. He rubbed his head, messing up his hair with a yawn. "Anyone goin' answer me you lot?"

"We're having family bonding time!" Tamaki said. "Put on your shoes and let's go!"

"You need to change completely." Renge said, looking at the black skinny jeans with the rips in the knees and his black hoodie.

"No." He replied, slipping his shoes on and grabbing his phone and wallet, slipping it into his pockets. "Let's get this over with." He grabbed his pack of cigarettes too, and his lighter, having a feeling he was going to need them.

* * *

This was why they were walking down a strip, trying to pick a restaurant. Haruhi and Xavier both voted out fancy restaurants. She had no clothes to wear to it, male clothes to be exact, and if they wanted Xavier to go home and change, he wasn't going to come back.

Xavier fell back behind the group, lighting up a cigarette. He took a deep drag and blew the smoke out through his nose, looking across the street at a couple who were sitting on a bench, giggling to one another. He made a face and took another drag. "Pick a damn place already." He said as smoke came tumbling out of his mouth.

"Too many choices!" Tamaki said as he and Kyoya looked over a list of restaurants in the area. Yuukio took the list from them, scanning over it, trying to pick a place. Xavier groaned and took the list out of her hands, holding the cigarette in between his teeth as he looked over the list.

"Ew." Renge groaned, blowing the smell of the cigarette away from her, being over dramatic. He shot her a look and rolled his eyes, taking it out of his mouth and blew the smoke upwards, away from the others, trying to be polite.

"I know, I think that every morning when I see your face." He replied with a wicked smirk as he walked off. "Come along." He looked over his shoulder at the group, who followed after him. He threw the cigarette on the ground, stepping on it as he continued.

"He's so rude." Renge muttered, but Hikaru just skipped ahead to walk by Xavier, since Tamaki was hogging Haruhi's attention and he wanted to let Yuukio and Kaoru have some space.

"I liked that." Hikaru told him, making Xavier chuckle and smile at Hikaru. "So where are we eating?"

"The first place I see that looks decent." Xavier admitted and Hikaru bumped shoulders with him, feeling at ease with him. "They'll be upset if I pick a greasy burger joint."

"Pick somewhere yummy." Hikaru complained, wanting something to eat soon. "I'm so hungryyy!"

"I'm glad they're getting along." Yuukio told the others when she watched Xavier and Hikaru joking around in front of them.

"Me too. He's been kind of clingy, but, he stopped when he started spending more time with Xavier." Haruhi told them with a small smile.

"Watch out for that, Kaoru, Xavier might influence him." Renge warned Kaoru, wagging her finger. "He'll have him smoking those nasty sticks and listening to that awful music."

"I think he'll be okay." Kaoru muttered, knowing Xavier would never do that sort of thing. Haruhi knew it too. That's why Kaoru wasn't so worried.

"Fine, suit yourselves. I have an awesome surprise for him." Renge smirked and they all knew this would be bad. "It's not here yet, unfortunately. It'll be so great when it arrives!" She was so happy by this and Yuukio shot her a confused look. She had no clue what her best friend was talking about, but she was starting to get a horrible feeling about it.

Xavier ended up dragging them to a Korean BBQ place, luckily all the karaoke rooms were taken, so they just sat down and ate.

* * *

"Hey, Kaoru, I'm spending the night with Xavier!" Hikaru told his brother, surprising his twin and Xavier, who had no clue he was having a sleepover with the ginger haired male. He was going to spend his Friday night alone, like he had been doing since he came here. Maybe drink a little but now that wasn't going to be the case.

"Alright, don't be a pain in the ass." Kaoru told him as Hikaru hooked his arm through Xavier's and stuck his tongue out at his brother. Xavier shot him a look, confused at how close Hikaru was getting to him now when he should be focused in on Haruhi.

"Haruhi, you should spend the night with us." Hikaru smirked when Tamaki opened his mouth to say something but Renge was still with them, so he couldn't argue against it. "Xavier's bed is pretty big."

"No thanks." She shot him down quickly, trying to avoid any arguments. She didn't know why Hikaru and Tamaki had been on edge with each other, but it needed to stop. "I have laundry to do tomorrow."

"Awah, are you sure?" Renge questioned, now giving Haruhi a pout. "It'll be so much fun to have you spend the night!"

"Maybe another night." Haruhi said as Renge grew a big smile.

"You should all spend the night! We have room! You might have to double up, of course, but it'll be so much fun!" Renge said, nodding her head.

"Problem is dove needs to have his own room. He kicks in his sleep." Xavier lied smoothly and Renge bought it all, nodding her head.

"Well, that's okay! Yuukio can sleep with me, Tamaki and Kyoya can pair up and take one of the guest rooms, Haruhi can have the other, and the twins can bunk with Xavier!" She worked it out quickly, looking at her phone for the time. "It's still early in the night. You guys can go home and get your things and come back!"

"A wonderful idea, Renge!" Tamaki said, smiling.

"Fine. I'll go with dove to get his things." Xavier said Tamaki shot him a look.

"I-I can go with Haruhi!" He whined and Xavier shook his head.

"Sorry, Tamaki, but, you should go home and get your own things. You want to come, Hikaru? I'm sure Kaoru won't mind getting your things." He suggested and gave Kaoru a look, needing back up.

"I can do that. I'll help Yuukio with her things, get our stuff, then meet you guys back at home base!" He exclaimed with a smirk before walking off with Yuukio, calling a car to come get them. Tamaki looked to argue, but Kyoya pulled him off, also calling a car.

Xavier, Haruhi, and Hikaru waited until Renge's car came for her and then walked off to Haruhi's place since it was only five minutes away.

"Thank you." Hikaru told Xavier, who shrugged, pulling out a cigarette to smoke. He walked behind the two, letting them chat. Hikaru was a bit…awkward, but he was charming nonetheless. He watched them as he smoked, feeling a tad bit like a parent who was escorting their kid on their first date. It helped to see how Hikaru acted around her so he could help the male more, though.

They waited outside her place, letting her go in to deal with her father on her own. "So, you're pretty good around her." Xavier said, finishing up his cigarette. "Lay off the asshole, if possible. If she talks about Tamaki, don't make that annoyed face. Girls pick up on this stuff." He advised, putting the cigarette out on the ground.

"But I did okay?"

"Yeah, mate, don't stress yourself out about it. Just…this is going to sound cliché, but be yourself. Don't push too hard or she'll pull away completely." Xavier's advice was easier said than done, but Hikaru had to try.


	17. We Go Where Nobody Goes

"Want some whiskey?" Xavier offered his flask to Yuukio, who had just sat through Renge talking about the newest otome game for an hour. She just looked at him, looking a little dead inside. She took the flask and did a shot of it, before handing it back to the male.

They were all in the informal living room, sprawled out on the plush carpet and sofa with a movie playing on the large tv. Xavier was snug in the corner of the L-section sofa, with Yuukio next to him. Kaoru was on her other side, but he didn't seem to notice the flask they kept passing back and forth. Hikaru was on the floor near Xavier, Haruhi in between him and Tamaki. Kyoya and Renge were on the other end of the couch, discussing something.

"What are you drinking?" Haruhi questioned when she saw the flask in Xavier's hand.

"The escape from all my pain and misery." He told her, taking a sip. "Whiskey."

"You shouldn't be drinking that." She muttered but it was no use, while Xavier valued her opinion and loved her to pieces, he would ignore her when it came to this matter.

"I shouldn't, but I am." He told her, handing it to Yuukio who took a quick swig.

"Yuukio." Kaoru said, looking at her.

"You sit and listen about an otome game for an hour." She replied, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but, it calms my nerves. I only drink when this git offers it." She nodded to Xavier, who glanced at Kaoru.

"Mate I am not trying to get her drunk." He defended himself before anyone started pointing fingers. "If anything I'm trying to get myself drunk but that's difficult."

"You have a high tolerance?" Hikaru questioned, though he shouldn't be surprised. Xavier nodded his head and took another sip. "Can I try some?"

"No way." Xavier shook his head as Kaoru looked relieved that Xavier turned his brother down for a taste. Hikaru pouted, just wanting a tiny sip. "You're only sixteen."

"How old were you when you started drinking?" Hikaru fired back, already knowing the answer. Xavier glanced away, muttering something under his breath. "Sorry, what was that?"

"Fifteen." Xavier repeated, a bit louder. "I was going through a lot so that's not fair." He grumbled, taking another sip. "And I'm not nearly intoxicated enough to let you have a sip. You don't need to drink it. God forbid you actually like it." He wasn't going to let Hikaru make the same mistakes as him.

"Only a little sippppp!" Hikaru complained, reaching out for the flask.

"No mate. One sip is alllll it takes." He muttered, gulping down the last of it leaving Hikaru annoyed at him and Kaoru and turning around, huffing as he watched the movie.

"It's bitter and burns your throat." Yuukio told Hikaru, hoping to make him feel better. "It's not my drink of choice. I prefer fruity drinks, not just straight up alcohol. Obviously Xavier likes the straight up alcohol."

"Eh, I could go for a Vampire's Dream." Xavier glanced at Yuukio, who looked back at him. "Want one?"

"Yes." Yuukio said and Kaoru looked at her. "What? I'm allowed to drink, and I do every so often. There's hardly any rum in it anyway." She rolled her eyes, scooting a little away from Kaoru, who looked deflated after she snapped back at him. For goodness sakes, she was the legal drinking age in England, both of them were, and that's all that mattered to them.

Xavier got up to make the drinks and Yuukio followed, annoyed with Kaoru at the moment.

"Crumpet, why'd you snap?" Xavier questioned once they made it to the kitchen. She sat on a bar stool as he pulled everything out to start the drinks.

"I don't like being told what to do by him. I'm under a lot of stress right now and if I want a drink, I can have a drink." She muttered, sighing. "My mom is pressuring me to take on more jobs, but right now, I'm fine with this. It's easy, I know how to do it, I get great media coverage, and I want to stay here."

"Tell her that." Xavier said with a shrug. "You make enough money to hire your own manager so your mom won't be your manger." He made a face as he started to shake the cocktail shaker.

"You're right." She sighed, fiddling with her hair. "I'm just so young and I don't want to be led astray."

"Want me to call me mum up and see who she suggests?" Xavier offered, pouring the red drinks into two glasses. "She and Jackal know good managers."

"Seriously?" She asked, eyes hopeful and he nodded his head, sipping his drink. "Thank you."

"Not a problem, now go cuddle up with Kaoru." He handed her her drink and the two returned to the living room.

"Can I have a sip?" Hikaru asked as the two settled back down.

"Fine." Xavier took Yuukio's drink out of her hands and let Hikaru taste it before handing it back to her. They looked at him and he sipped his drink. "Mine has far more rum in it than hers."

"All I tasted was fruit." Hikaru grumbled, reaching to take a sip of Xavier's. Xavier swatted his hand away, pushing him to sit back down on the floor and watch the movie.

"When you're older." Xavier told him. Looking at the tv screen, sipping his drink. "When you're old enough I'll go get you wasted like my mates did for me!"

"No." Kaoru muttered, shaking his head.

"Awah, I won't let him wonder off like my mates let me….I mean it was all good. They got me drunk and laid and overall it was a lovely evening." Xavier chuckled. "Although the morning after wasn't as pleasant. The bird was on top of me and I almost woke her up sneaking out."

"Why don't you just stay then?" Hikaru couldn't seem to grasp this concept.

"Because you don't stay. One night stands are pretty self-explanatory. God, you lot would stay?" He questioned and Tamaki nodded his head and the twins glanced at each other.

"I don't think we plan to have many one night stands." Haruhi grumbled, wanting to watch the movie but knowing there was no point in even trying anymore. "How many have you had?"

"How come we always end up talking about my sex life?" Xavier asked with an annoyed look. "Is it because you lot don't have one? I don't keep count of my hookups. Like, maybe…." He shrugged, not actually sure. "We just talkin' sex or like make outs too and do I count if I have repeated sex with someone?" He took another long sip, gulping it down.

"Xavier."

"Not that many people! Gee guys, I was in a six month relationship so that slowed things down." He grumbled, counting on his fingers. "Maybe like, twenty people. Maybe. Probably not that many." He felt a little like a whore when he thought about it but that was life. "It doesn't really matter. Means I'm great in bed though." He joked and got up. "You want anymore?" He asked Yuukio as he jumped over the back of the couch.

"I'm good, thank you." She said and Hikaru got up.

"I need something to drink, you want anything?" He asked Haruhi and she shook her head, so he followed Xavier into the kitchen. "Let me try some."

"You are persistent." Xavier said as he put everything together and started to shake it up. "I'm not going to let you take a sip of this stuff. I'll let you try some though."

"How am I supposed to try it if you won't let me take a sip?" Hikaru questioned.

"If you want to try it so bad, you can take it out of my mouth." Xavier smirked, taking a sip of his drink. He knew Hikaru would never do it, and maybe then he'll shut up about trying some of it. Hikaru looked at him and Xavier just shrugged, keeping the drink in his mouth.

"Fine." Hikaru said and leaned in to kiss him. Xavier was thrown off, because Hikaru was being serious about this. "C'mon, gimme." Hikaru complained and Xavier stepped closer to him, not going to bow out now. Hikaru put his hands on Xavier's hoodie and pulled him closer, closing his eyes once he could practically feel Xavier's lips-

"I changed my mind, I want something to drink." They heard Haruhi say and Xavier backed off from Hikaru, trying not to act like she just interrupted something. She entered the kitchen, innocently looking at them, not knowing what they were about to do.

"Sorry, maybe next time kid." Xavier said, swallowing the drink in his mouth, pretty impressed with how far Hikaru was willing to go for the drink. "Show dove where the drinks are." He said and left the room with a wink at Hikaru.

"Uh…what do you want?" Hikaru knew where everything was in the kitchen, he came here enough. He got a cup out of the cupboard and glanced at her.

"What were you two doing?" Haruhi asked, taking the cup from him and going over to the fridge. "You two were acting weird. Milk is in the fridge, right?"

"Yeah, it is. We're always weird. He was just telling me I wasn't getting any of his drink." Hikaru shrugged it off, looking at Haruhi as she got her some milk to drink.

"I'm glad you two are getting along really well. Seriously, Xavier needs some friends other than John and me." She said and left the room. Hikaru followed after her.

* * *

"You gits stay on that side of the bed." Xavier told the twins and pointed to a side of the bed. He opened his closet and pulled out a few blankets, tossing them to the twins. "It gets cold in my room, by the way." He continued and walked over to his window, opening up one, letting the cold air in.

"Isn't the heater on?" Kaoru questioned, settling into bed and Hikaru jumped over him to be in the middle.

"Yeah, but, I closed the vent to my room." He told them, going over and turning the light off and getting into the bed, pulling his comforter over him. Hikaru was snuggled up under the blankets, shivering, because Kaoru had two more blankets than him and it was cold. He scooted closer to Xavier after thirty minutes of dealing with the cold. Xavier was so warm, like a furnace.

"Back off." He heard Xavier groaned. Hikaru whined pressing his cold feet on Xavier's back.

"Listen up you wanker!" Xavier exclaimed, flipping over to glare at the twin, who was smirking.

"I'm sleeping with Yuukio." Kaoru exclaimed, pulling up a blanket and rolling out of the bed. He glared at them. "You won't stop moving and you make it too cold!" He pointed at his brother and Xavier, angry. He stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

"Look what you did." Hikaru said. "Kaoru is a bit of a bed hog though."

"Really?" Xavier looked up at the ceiling, sighing. "Because there's about three feet of bed on the other side of you…but here you are….pressed up next to me." He knew Xavier was pissed off with him.

"This is what you get for not letting me have some of that drink." Hikaru smirked in the dark and Xavier sighed again.

"Mate, tried to let you have a taste, but it's not my fault dove interrupted me. You practically ignored her all night too." Xavier looked at Hikaru, who looked back at him. "Don't be like your idiot brother and try to control dove, but, don't ignore her."

"I wasn't ignoring her, I was trying to give her space. I think she's been getting annoyed with how clingy boss and I are being." Hikaru told him, pulling the blankets Kaoru left behind to warm himself up. "Why do you keep it so cold?"

"Because I'm really hot. Temperature and look wise." He smirked and Hikaru rolled his eyes, nudging Xavier. "Seriously, I get really hot when I sleep. Renge likes it like fucking fire in this bloody hell and I can't breathe."

"But it's cold." Hikaru complained. Xavier looked at him, seeing him a cocoon of blankets. He got out of bed and walked over to the opened window, shutting it before returning to bed.

"Fine. I'm not opening the vent though." Xavier pulled the comforter over him and turned, facing away from Hikaru. "Now scoot over and go to sleep."

"I like to cuddle." Hikaru teased and Xavier sat up and glared down at him. He pushed Hikaru to the other side of the bed and then laid back down.

"Good night."


	18. There's A Change In Pressure

"This is good." Haruhi sighed happily, eating an omelet the next morning. Everyone was at the dining table, eating breakfast, except for Xavier.

"He's not an early riser." Renge mumbled, putting some jam on her toast.

"He and Hikaru made it impossible to sleep. I had to go to Yuukio's room." Kaoru told the group, munching on a piece of toast. "Hikaru kept moving and Xavier had it freezing cold."

"Oh yeah, should have warned you about that." Renge said, smiling at him. "Xavier claims he can't sleep when the heater is on. I don't see why not. Such a dramatic boy." She rolled her eyes and everyone looked at her.

Yeah, Xavier was the dramatic one.

"Mornin'." Xavier grumbled, coming into the dining room. He plopped down in a seat next to Yuukio and yawned, nodding his head at the maid who placed a hot cup of tea down in front of him. He reached across the table, grabbing the sugar and putting a few cubes in his tea and stirred it around.

"Really? You drink tea?" Hikaru asked, wondering if this was a joke. "I thought you only did that in the club."

"Why would I not drink tea? Mate I practically lived in England for six years. I like coffee but we're out of my blend. Tea is usually an afternoon or dinner thing for me." He mumbled, sipping his drink. He grabbed a piece of toast and bit into it, suppressing another yawn. "Hikaru, I don't ever want to sleep with you again."

"And why not?" Hikaru asked, scrunching his nose up.

"You had so much bloody space yet you were practically on top of me! I don't like cuddles. I don't even like people in my bed with me. I hate sharing a bed." He complained, finishing his toast. His black muscle tee hung loosely on him as he cracked his back.

"I was cold." Was Hikaru's reply and Xavier just glared at him, rolling his eyes.

"It's quite too early in the morning for this utter bullocks." He phone began to ring from its spot on the table where he tossed it once he sat down. "Eh mate what time is it there?" He answered, getting up from the table, taking his cup of tea with him. "No no, I was awake. Had a few mates over from the club." They heard him go into the hallway, still talking.

"He sounds so pretentious." Hikaru muttered and Yuukio shot him a look. "You do too."

"That's funny." Yuukio muttered, tossing a strawberry at him. Xavier returned shortly after this, all his tea in the cup gone. "Who was that?"

"Jackal." He finished up the toast he was eating before. "Just wanted to see how I was doing. Had business to tell me."

"What business?" Renge asked, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

"Music shit, you wouldn't be interested." He waved it off, standing up and wiping the crumbs off his shirt. "I'm going out in a bit."

"Where are you going?" Renge asked and he shrugged.

"Dunno yet." He left the room and they heard him jog up the stairs.

"We should go out today!" Tamaki exclaimed and Haruhi shook her head.

"No thanks. I have laundry and shopping to do." Haruhi mumbled. "I think we've spent enough time together and I have some chores I really need to get done." She loved her friends but she really had things to get done.

"I have a few things to get done today too." Kyoya said and Yuukio agreed with him. They finished up their breakfasts and headed back upstairs.

"What are you doing today?" Hikaru asked as he entered Xavier's room. The male was just in his skinny jeans, digging through his dresser. Hikaru grabbed his clothes, getting dressed quickly.

"I just like to go out and walk around." Xavier replied and pulled a shirt on before grabbing his leather jacket, pulling it on. He pulled on some boots as Hikaru put on his pants and shirt. "Why?" He grabbed his gray beanie and adjusted it on his head.

"Just wondering." Hikaru as probably going to go home. He knew Kaoru was going out with Yuukio later. That was why she was 'busy'. "Haruhi is busy with her chores. She won't want me hanging around and distracting her." Xavier just looked at Hikaru. Was Hikaru trying to get Xavier to invite him out? Did Hikaru not have any other friends?

"Do you want to come with me?" Xavier knew he was probably going to regret it. He really just wanted to get dropped off at a mall and walk around.

"Yeah, sure…" Hikaru grinned and followed him out of his room with his bag over his shoulder. Xavier locked the door behind him as Hikaru went down the stairs to put his shoes on and give his bag to Kaoru, since he was going home to drop his things off anyway. "I'm going out with Xavier."

"Really?" Yuukio asked, pulling her coat on. She eyed Xavier as he came down the stairs, wondering what he was up to. "You two are hanging out again?"

"He wanted to come." Xavier said, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket. "Had a feeling he would whine if I didn't ask him to join me in my day of nothingness. Going out to smoke." He directed this towards Hikaru and left the house.

"I'm bored and it's fun to tease him." Hikaru shrugged, putting his coat on and buttoning it up. "Got nothing else to do anyway."

"Xavier is fun to hang around." Haruhi said when she came downstairs to put her shoes on. "You just got to give him time. He's very funny."

"What are you guys going to do?" Kaoru asked, wanting to make sure Xavier was dragging Hikaru off to a tattoo parlor.

Again.

"Probably nowhere. When Xavier goes out by himself, he gets the driver to drop him off somewhere like a mall or park or shopping district and he'll wonder around for hours by himself." Renge told them, putting on a hat. "He just likes to go out and walk I suppose."

"I don't blame him. He probably likes to be alone for hours after being surrounded by you guys all week." Haruhi muttered when Xavier opened the door and nodded at Hikaru.

"C'mon mate." He said and Hikaru waved bye and went out the door with the blond male.

* * *

"So." Hikaru started as they walked around a mall. He didn't know what to really do. "You're a ball of fun." He said snidely and Xavier rolled his eyes. "Why are we in a commoner's shopping mall anyway?"

"Because, they aren't commoners for one, they're normal people." Xavier sighed. "And I like to just walk around. It's cold out and a little rainy, so I'm walking inside. It gives me something to do and it gets me out of the house."

"That's boring. We don't you just fly to Paris or Rome or something for the weekend if you want to get out so much?" Hikaru asked and Xavier was questioning why he let Hikaru come along.

"That's a huge waste of money, I don't enjoy being jetlagged, and what's the point? The weekend is two days. I won't do anything." Xavier replied, not understanding how Hikaru's thought process worked. "You damn rich kids."

"You're a rich kid." Hikaru replied.

"Yeah, uh, not like you lot." He really needed to smoke. "I was sent off to boarding school, so I didn't get the perks of being spoiled. I didn't really go on family vacations or do anything like that. Kind of stayed in England with mates."

"That's so sad." Hikaru said, feeling bad for Xavier. "Family vacations are fun! We'll take one. The others would love a trip to the beach or something." Hikaru thought about it. It could be fun. If they didn't take Renge or any guests, he could see Haruhi in a swim suit.

"You just want to see dove in a swimsuit." Xavier chuckled when Hikaru's cheeks went pink. "I'm a guy too, ya know. Birds in bikinis are always a lovely sight as are fit lads in swim trunks. I don't care where we go or what you do, but I would prefer to not take my cousin with us, if possible. I need a long vacation away from her."

"I don't blame you. What's it like being related to Renge?" Hikaru found the girl annoying, but he started to dislike more ever since he became friends with Xavier.

"Her mother is just like her. Her father spoiled her rotten. It's terrible being related to her. They favor her more." He complained, mood worsening. "Then again her family could function unlike mine. We never got along which is probably why they shoved me off so early on. I mean, not really my mother's idea, but she was happy I was at a music school doing what I loved and it was pretty nice until things just…..eh." He muttered, glancing at the food court, not hungry at all.

"Oh." Hikaru didn't know what he was expecting Xavier to say.

"Enough about my problems. What's your family like? I know of your mother, of course. Met her a few times. My mother adores her and she is a lovely woman."

"You've met my mom?" Hikaru asked. "I guess it's not that surprising since she designs a lot of the things your mom wears."

"She's my mum's favorite designer." Xavier told him. "Bet she's fun."

"My parents are a lot of fun. We really don't fight that much, but it might be because they're sort of always busy. Despite that, they always try to at least have a few family meals with us each week and take us on vacation during the summer. It's gotten a lot better this past year between us I think, mostly because Kaoru and I are trying to be different people and not just be together all the time." Hikaru said and Xavier nodded his head, listening. "Everything's been a bit better now that we've given each other space. It was really hard a first but I knew it would be. It just felt weird to not have him with me all the time. I can be kind of clingy, that's what Haruhi said anyway."

"I can see it." Xavier said, and boy, he definitely could.

"But I just like having someone with me. I don't like being alone often. I like to talk to people and spend time with them." Hikaru continued. "I guess that's why Haruhi is a little annoyed with me. I crowded her a bit too much, but I'm still learning. Besides, who doesn't like being with me all the time?" He questioned and Xavier just rolled his eyes at the ginger male. "I'm tons of fun! So now I just got to make friends so Kaoru doesn't feel so bad about wanting to spend most of his time with Yuukio. He's lucky that she likes spending so much time with him."

"Who wouldn't like spending time with you two?" Xavier questioned, slightly teasing Hikaru, who just pouted. "Oi mate, I'm just joshing you." He chuckled and patted Hikaru's head.

"Don't treat me like a kid."

"You kind of are."

"Yeah but you made out with me. Isn't it weird to make out with a kid, love?" Hikaru mocked and Xavier shot him a look.

"I was helping you. Maybe if you moved faster you would have gotten a bit of that drink."

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Xavier questioned Yuukio Sunday afternoon. He had just left his room to go grab some lunch when he saw the model there with Renge, looking at the guest room next to his room. "What's going on?"

"I'm going to redecorate it!" Renge cheered, smiling happily. "Dad said I could and I just feel like it needs to be more…girly!"

"Why?" Xavier didn't understand this at all. Was Renge really that bored? "You know what, I just don't care." He replied, shaking his head. Renge shot him a look, rolling her eyes.

"Be right back! I left some wallpaper samples in my room somewhere!" She exclaimed and skipped off to her room. Yuukio just stared at him and he yawned.

"So what's up, crumpet? Felt like forever since I saw you last." He mused, smiling a bit.

"Helping Renge decorate." She shrugged, coming off a bit cold. "She wants a floral pattern. Mona suggested it. You know how she loves floral." Yeah, Xavier knew his ex was obsessed with floral pattern.

"Who cares about that bitch's opinion? She's a nutcase." He muttered, the thought of her sending him into a bad mood.

"Watch it, you know she's my friend too. What the hell happened between you two anyway?" Yuukio only knew Mona's side, and while yeah, Mona was her friend, she knew that hearing one side wasn't always the most honest and realistic portrayal.

"Uh, well, for one, she's insane." He ranted, feeling like Yuukio needed to know the truth. "Like I know I fucked up in the relationship but at least I didn't date her with the intention of changing her."

"What do you mean?" Yuukio furrowed her brows, not understanding.

"What? She didn't tell you her whole plan to 'change the bad boy'?" He asked. He thought all girls did that. "You know that cliché, 'oh I can change him' hype girls do when they meet a 'bad boy' like me. You birds are insane if you think you can change a bloke just by dating him."

"Woah woah, she would never do that." Yuukio said, shaking her head at this.

"You sure? Because she tried to take my fags and booze away from me, she barely let me go out with my mates for a pint every so often, and god forbid I even spoke to another bird. Sure, I wasn't the greatest first boyfriend in the world, but, she knew what she was getting when she dated me. She knew the shit I was going through. Two months were great and fun, the last four were painful." He continued, figuring Yuukio wouldn't believe him, even though he thought they were friends. "Least I didn't cheat on her to try and get her attention."

"She didn't cheat on you."

"Ah, crumpet, she did. She kissed like half of my mates, in front of me. Not like she dropped her knickers, she wouldn't even do that for me, but who cares. I need a fag." He walked down the stairs, sighing loudly.

"Oh my god." Yuukio muttered, questioning who she thought was right in the relationship as Renge skipped back to her with the wall paper samples. She began to talk as Yuukio began to question everything Monique told her about Xavier.


	19. God Help Me Now

**Thanks for the reviews, favs, and follows! They all mean a lot to me so thank you so much! **

**You know I was all like, "this story is going to be so much shorter than the previous one" and now I'm not so sure because I'm working on chapter 28 right now and I have so much fucking DRAMA planned for this story but like, character developing drama? I don't know I just know yall will hate me when its all over because I'm goin' be yankin on yalls heart strings**

* * *

"I'm not letting you copy my homework." Haruhi muttered to Hikaru, who pouted back at her Tuesday afternoon as they sat in the library. "You can do it yourself."

"Yeah, I know, but I just sort of forget all the stuff the teacher taught us today." He mumbled, feeling a bit embarrassed about having to ask Haruhi. Usually it wouldn't bother him to ask for her homework, but he didn't want her annoyed with him over it. She was much friendlier now that he hadn't bothered her for most of Saturday and all of Sunday. He really needed to learn how to give people space and how much attention he should pay them. This whole branching out thing was tricky.

"Dove why don't you just teach it to him?" Xavier questioned, sitting across from Hikaru. He was messing around on his phone with headphones in his ears. He pulled one out and looked at the two. "Better than him copying it and not learning anything. Besides, if you don't teach him now, he'll fall behind even more."

"Yeah, tutor me!" Hikaru exclaimed, smiling at Haruhi. She sighed and shut the book she was reading.

"Fine, I'll teach you it, but seriously Hikaru, try to remember what we learn in class." She scooted her chair closer to him and got herself a pencil. She began to explain it to him as Xavier put his headphone back in and began listening to his music again.

Xavier was pretty impressed with how Hikaru acted around Haruhi at times. He wasn't a flustered shy mess like some people were when they were with their crushes. He was starting to realize that wasn't Hikaru's problem, his problem was how clingy and possessive he was. It steamed from where it was only he and Kaoru, and Xavier understood that and he was sure the rest of the club did too, but it didn't mean any of them were going to baby him about it. Haruhi had made it clear she wasn't going to put up with it and she would shoot him down.

Xavier needed to do that, but he surprised himself with how okay he was with Hikaru coming over to his house every day. People tended to get on his nerves, and boy, did Hikaru get on his nerves, but he was fine with Hikaru always being around him. Maybe it was because Hikaru was a good distraction to problems Xavier had. A distraction like sex and alcohol. Hikaru was probably a more healthy distraction than those two. Hikaru was kind of like Stella.

Haruhi was a good distraction too, except she reminded him so much of Vinny. She knew when something was wrong, like Vinny did, and she pointed it out any chance she could. His walks with her to her house after school when Hikaru had to go home first to change and do other homework, were pleasant and she kept him on his toes. He knew he couldn't avoid her questions much longer and he would have to come clean.

After telling Hikaru and somewhat telling Yuukio about Monique, he told Haruhi about her yesterday on the walk home. She let him talk and only asked a few questions and when he wanted to stop talking about it, she let it go. That's what he really loved about her. She didn't push him to talk, like Hikaru or Stella did, she let him off the hook, which was what Vinny did.

Of course he needed both a Stella and a Vinny here. He needed someone fun who would distract him and someone serious who would be a rock to him. The Isaac here seemed to be Yuukio. The one that gave him the looks when they knew he was lying and the one that refused to baby him. Also the sassiest one and the one that was slightly in the same boat as him.

It felt nice to have some people who knew what happened to him in the past and his problems now. He had people on his side and that's all he needed. He didn't want to let everyone know his business, but having a few close people know it was okay.

He stretched and leaned back in his chair, picking up the book he was reading. The music flowing into his ears were just instrumental songs and acted more as pleasant background noise.

He was finding it a little difficult to concentrate though, because Hikaru kept making faces when Haruhi tutored him. He should be used to it by now, because Hikaru made those faces when Xavier tried to teach him French. He also made those faces when Xavier tried to teach him how to kiss, which made him inwardly groan.

Why did he agree to it? It had bad news written all over it, but, Xavier basically screamed bad news, so maybe that was why. What really made him inwardly groan was Friday night when Hikaru was actually going to kiss him to get a taste of the drink. He was expecting him to make a disgusted face and call him a name, but of course, he didn't. That interested Xavier and it really shouldn't have. He blamed it on him not having any sexual contact with anyone for the past few months. He went from getting it almost every day, even in America…._especially_ in America, to getting none.

He could control himself just fine, so he wasn't going to worry about it. He'd teach Hikaru how to kiss a few more times and then stop it, because they really shouldn't be doing it in the first place, and kissing was something Hikaru needed to learn in his own relationships, whether they be with Haruhi or another person.

He glanced at the two again, Hikaru was starting to understand what Haruhi was teaching him, relieving the both of them. He went back to his book, tuning them out.

* * *

"Xavier, did getting those piercings hurt at all?" Abby asked, looking at his lip and eyebrow piercing. She looked like she wanted to touch them but was too scared to.

"Sort of." He said and leaned closer to her. "You can touch them, love, I don't mind much." She blushed but gently touched his eyebrow piercing, looking at it with awe, like she had never actually seen one in real life. "Eyebrow piercing bled like hell. Hikaru can tell you that."

"It was disgusting." The twin muttered as he walked by with Kaoru at his side. "The whole towel was red."

"It stung a bit after that. It's getting used to them that can be a pain in the arse." He complained and she touched his lip piercing quickly, squealing when he kissed her finger. "Heh, could've bitten it but a kiss seemed more proper."

"Proper is not having those piercings at all." Renge said from her table, but he brushed it off.

"That scared me!" Abby exclaimed but she wasn't upset by it. "The whole towel was red? Didn't that worry you?"

"The whole towel was not red, Hikaru is a bit dramatic." Xavier corrected it, shaking his head at the twin who was now entertaining his guests. "It's perfectly normal. I researched the piercing before getting it so I knew what was going to happen. Besides, I have a tattoo, and those are the painful ones."

"You have a tattoo? Can I see?" She asked, getting wide eyes. Misaki smiled at the younger girl's amazement.

"Yeah, it's right here." He said and patted to his chest on his right side. "I would, but that means I'd have to take my shirt off and that, my love, would be frowned upon in here."

"It being frowned upon never stopped you before." Yuukio told him, sitting with Renge. She was feeling a little guilty for how she treated Xavier a few days prior. They were working towards being friends, but she went and brushed off what he said about Monique, when it could very well be more truthful than the story Monique had told her and Renge.

"You are right about that, crumpet." He told her, looking at her. She gave him a weak smile and he knew she was feeling bad about how she spoke to him. He didn't let it bother him much. Of course she would side more with Monique, the girl was her friend, and her having a short temper didn't help much. He smirked back and loosened his tie, acting like he was going to strip.

"That doesn't mean you should do it!" She exclaimed, furrowing her brows.

"I'm kidding." He turned back to his guests, removing his hand from his tie. "Sorry but I can't do it. Maybe another time, yeah?"

"Yes!" She nodded her head eagerly, wanting to see his chest and tattoo. He chuckled at her reaction, extremely amused by her. Abby was a bit of an airhead, but a sweet one. She was naive, which was expected from a first year. Misaki was able to hold her composure better like other third years, but it probably helped that she was engaged.

The doors opened and Tamaki was the first to skip over to welcome the guest, which was either a new student or someone who just happened to be late.

"Is Renge here?" He froze when he heard a light female voice as Tamaki greeted her.

"You've got to be bloody joking." He growled when he looked.

"Oh wow, who is she?" Abby asked, looking at the girl. She had on a black sweater and a skirt with roses all over it, along with black leggings and red boots to match the skirt. Her hair was long, brown, and wavy and fell past her shoulders. She had on red lipstick and green eyes. She was incredibly beautiful.

"Monique!" Renge squealed and the rest of the club looked at Xavier.

His brows were furrowed and it was easy to see he was pissed as Renge and Monique squealed and hugged each other.

"Guys, this is my best friend, Monique! She's going to be attending school here from now on!" Renge continued and Xavier stood, looking like he was holding back saying something. He sighed, then smiled when Monique and Renge approached him.

"Xavier! So lovely to see you!" Monique said as she came over to him.

"I definitely was not expecting to see you here. Or to hear you're enrolling here." He kissed both of her cheeks as he said this, surprising the others who were expecting a fight to break out. "How have you been?"

"Great, how about you? You look so good." She smiled, her teeth perfectly white. Hikaru didn't understand what was going on.

"Thanks, you look beautiful as always. I'll let you go catch up with Renge and Yuukio." He smiled back at her and she went to sit with Yuukio and Renge as Xavier turned back to his guests and the mood was now…awkward.

Monique met each other the hosts throughout the club, her favorite being Kyoya, and she and Xavier were pleasant until the last guest left the room.

"What the bloody hell is she doing here?" He growled, starting the other club members. Monique and Renge didn't seemed fazed by it. "And you're enrolling here? Why?" He was so pissed and he showed it on his face.

"Why can't I?" Monique riled back, furrowing her brows. "I can do what I please, Xavier! Renge suggested it and I missed her. Of course, it meant I'd have to deal with you, but, I can be the bigger person, unlike you."

"Don't even start that now, Monique." He stormed over to her, fuming. "You have no right to be here. There's no reason for you to be here, at all, other than to piss me off."

"Ha, you think I came all this way to do that?" She questioned, shaking her head. "I have every right to be here. I don't see why you're here though, and I can't believe these girls actually like you. I should warn them how horrible you truly are and not let them believe all those charming lies you tell."

"Charming lies?" He questioned and the host club tried not to say anything as they fought. "Monique don't you think it's time you let it go and move on? I can't believe you invited her to move here." He turned on Renge now, ready to attack her.

"Woah woah, stop!" Haruhi said, coming over to them. "You two were perfectly fine earlier."

"It's called keeping up with appearances, dove. You think I'd cause a scene in front of the others?" He questioned, crossing his arms. "Not how we were trained to behave." He sighed, frustrated beyond believe.

"I know you don't get along with her but you better get used to, Xavier. She'll be living with us." Renge said and Xavier just stared at her. "Don't be surprised, that's why I was redecorating the guest room next to your room."

"Oh, so, thanks for talking about this to me." Xavier started and he wasn't yelling and it scared the others. He was a calm angry which they had never seen before. "You didn't even mention it to me and then she comes strolling in the middle of the club and I'm bloody off guard. Do you not think about others before you act?"

"It's my house." Renge said, sounding like a child. Yuukio looked at her, feeling awkward in this moment about this, because she could see why Renge was wrong, even though Renge was her best friend.

"Did you pay for it?" Xavier questioned, tilting his head. "Don't think you did, so no. Shit like this needs to at least be ran by me."

"I knew you would say no and throw a huge fit like you are now." Renge complained and Xavier never felt the need to punch her until now.

"Oh yeah, throwing a tizzy fit because my idiotic cousin invited my snobby, psycho ex-bird to live with us and attend school with us." He said, running his fingers through his hair. "I need a bloody fag, or twenty." He mostly muttered to himself.

"You still smoke those?" Monique asked, disgusted.

"And I'm sure to be smoking more with you around, _darling_." He turned away from them, done with the day. He wanted to go smoke and get drunk and try to forget about the entire day. "I'm leaving." He declared and stormed to the closet to get his bag.

"Where are you going?" Renge asked and Hikaru glared at her, pissed at her for doing this to Xavier.

"Away from you." He came out of the closet, a cigarette already in between his teeth. "Don't bother me when you get home." He slammed the club door shut and it echoed in the room.

Hikaru wanted to go after him, but he didn't know if he should or if Xavier wanted him to. He looked like he wanted to be alone, so Hikaru stayed put. Yuukio sighed and stood up slowly.

"I'm going to let Xavier stay with me for a few nights." Yuukio stated, picking up her purse and settling it on her shoulder. "It's probably for the best and it'll make it a lot easier right now. I'll see all of you later!" She hurried out after Xavier, hoping he hadn't already left. If she had known Monique was coming and enrolling in Ouran, she would have told Xavier. It was wrong, horribly wrong, of Renge to spring this on him.

"Leave me alone." Xavier called back, hearing someone running after him as he walked down the stairs to go outside to the waiting car. He was already lighting up the cigarette, taking a long drag of it.

"Xavier!" Yuukio called and he turned to glance at her and slowed down so she could catch up. He looked surprised it was her that was running after him and not Renge or Monique or Haruhi, even Hikaru. "Hey, I told Renge I'm letting you stay with me for a few nights." She told him. "I'm sorry. I didn't know she was coming and if I did, I would have told you. I should have guessed it when Renge was redecorating that room."

"Monique is your best friend." Xavier muttered, breathing out a puff of smoke.

"She's my friend, but so are you. You helped me when I needed it so I'm going to help you. Let's go back to your place and get you some clothes and other things and you'll stay in the guest room at my place." She decided and pulled him along with to the car. "Don't try to resist this. This is the plan and we're going to do it. I just….I do not think it was right what Renge did. It was awful and unfair to you and I am very angry at her for this."

"Really?" He questioned as they got into the car. He rolled down the window because he was not putting out his cigarette.

"Yes. She's my best friend but I do see when she does wrong. This is extremely wrong. Now, you will be telling me everything. I need to know everything that happened with you and Monique, got it? I need to understand what happened so I can properly make a logical decision."

"About what?" Xavier questioned, blowing smoke out the window.

"About who I believe to be right. Monique told me you used her, but, you told me the other day that you didn't get into her knickers, so that tells me right there that the stories are different." She continued, taking deep breathes, trying to keep her composure. "You tell me your side and I will tell you what she said."

"Thanks." Xavier muttered, finishing up his cigarette and dropping it out the window. He was surprised she was doing this, but he really shouldn't be. Yuukio was a smart girl and now that she knew Xavier more, she saw that Mona's side wasn't the only side.


	20. Your Jaw's All Over The Place

**Yall telling me to update soon is encouraging but note I usually wait about three days before I update again. I would never leave you guys with waiting two weeks for an update so no worries.**

**Love you all~! Hope yall had a fabulous Valentines Day. I spent mine working, but two old ladies that came through my line at work were so sweet and were just amazed at how cute I was which was startling but like fuck yeah thanks old ladies yall are cute too**

**WHOOP WHOOP HAHA YALL ARE GOIN LOVE THIS CHAPTER AND WHAT IT WILL LEAD TO**

* * *

The next few days were calmer as Monique settled into the school and Xavier avoided her like the plague. Of course, it was difficult during club time, because she was there, but he focused in on Abby and Misaki.

Yuukio's place was nice, but he knew he was going to have to go back eventually.

Eventually was today. Which sucked because Yuukio wasn't annoying like Renge was. She didn't let him smoke in the apartment, of course, but he was fine with that and smoked on her balcony. She refused to let him drink his problems away, and he wasn't going to admit it to her, but he was pretty thankful she did that too.

"Can…I come over?" Hikaru questioned when he pushed another carts of sweets over to Xavier's couch, handing the deserts to his guests. "Or…?"

"Nah, mate, come on over." Xavier said, knowing having Hikaru there wouldn't be as bad. Monique had been quiet around him so he returned the favor, but the tension was there.

"Okay." Hikaru smiled at Xavier, making him feel better. Hikaru hurried off back to Kaoru and Xavier watched him, before looking back to his guests.

"It'll be okay." Misaki told Xavier, patting his shoulder.

* * *

Hikaru felt so awkward in the car to Xavier's place. Monique and Renge just talked to each other, ignoring the two males. He didn't want to imagine how awful it would be when Xavier had to ride alone with them.

They were the first two out of the car and went straight up to Xavier's room like always. He locked the door and groaned, flopping onto his bed. "I missed my bed so much." He said, muffled a bit. "It smells like me. It's lovely. I love my bed."

"You're a weirdo." Hikaru muttered, taking his jacket off and setting it on the hook on the back of Xavier's door.

"I like for my things to smell like me. Especially my bed. I'm really weird about my bed." Xavier said, sitting up and turning to look at Hikaru, who began to smirk. Hikaru dive bombed onto the bed, laughing as he bounced and landed on Xavier. "Hikaru!"

"That was awesome!" The ginger continued to laugh, laying on top of Xavier now. "Awah, you're so comfy. I should take a nap!"

"Get off me!" Xavier grunted and sat up, pushing Hikaru off of him. He got off the bed and lit up a cigarette, falling back into his after school routine. Hikaru watched him like usual, having missed this the past few days.

He hung out a little with Haruhi and with Kaoru, but he liked having time with Xavier.

"I listened to that band again the other night." Hikaru mentioned, catching Xavier's attention. "They came on my Pandora radio. They aren't that bad I guess. I kind of liked it."

"What song?" Xavier asked, interested.

"Settle Down. I really liked it actually. Good thing I burned that CD to my computer!" He winked at Xavier, who chuckled and blew out smoke. He took another deep drag, relaxing as he did so. Hikaru watched him, seeing how worn out Xavier actually looked for someone so young. He finished up the cigarette, he never made it through a whole one most of the time, and put it out in the ashtray, before shutting his opened window.

"Song fits you. That and Girls." Xavier said and sat down on the bed, flipping on the tv. They heard Mona in the room next to his, giggling about something.

"I don't like her." Hikaru told him, crawling over to Xavier and sitting next to him.

"Yeah, I don't either. It's why I dumped her in the first place." Xavier told him, looking at him before looking back to the tv. "I'll deal with it though. Nothing else I can do."

"You should come over to my house tomorrow. My mom is going to be back home for a little while and she'd like to see you again I bet." Hikaru brought up, hoping to cheer Xavier up. "We always come to your place. We should hang out at mine for once."

"That's cool by me." Xavier said. The more out of this house he was, the better.

* * *

"I like your place." Xavier said when he entered Hikaru's house the next day. It was huge, of course, but it had a warm feel to it. Much better than his place that just felt like hell. "I like your address too."

"102?" Hikaru questioned and Xavier nodded his head.

"Yeah, I like that number."

"Hikaru, Kaoru! How was school?" A woman with short, spike out orange hair asked when she came out of the living room and into the hallway. "Oh, you look familiar!"

"Mom, this is Xavier. Jackie's son." Kaoru said and his mother's face lit up.

"Oh my gosh, you've grown so much!" She exclaimed, hurrying over to Xavier and kissing him on the cheek. "It's been so long, hasn't it? Almost five years!"

"Time flies when you're at boarding school." Xavier said and kissed her cheek back, smiling at her. "How are you doing? My mum rung me up the other night and was telling me about your winter line you have coming out. She's rather excited to see it."

"Your mother is such a sweetheart. I love that accent on you." She patted his shoulder and Kaoru grinned, then slipped off to get a snack when his stomach began to growl. "You really do look like your uncle, don't you? Don't tell your father, but I am happy you got your mother's side of the family's looks."

"Yeah, dad isn't too happy about that but I'm glad I turned out more like them." He made a face but continued to smile.

"I'll let you two head on up to Hikaru's room. Thank you for tutoring him, by the way. Now where did Kaoru run off to?" She questioned and Hikaru pointed towards the kitchen. "Urg, that boy. Dinner is only a few hours away! You'll be joining us, won't you Xavier?"

"Of course he will." Hikaru interjected before Xavier could say anything. "Now come on, that French won't teach itself." He led Xavier up the stairs and down a hallway before stopping at a room and opening the door, letting Xavier in first and led him into the room, turning a corner to where he bed was along with the bathroom. Xavier sat on the bed, looking at the tv that was on a huge entertainment center with every game system set neatly in the cubes the of the furniture. "My mom loves you."

"She's a lovely woman." Xavier said, nodding his head. "I've always liked her. She was the nicest to me out of all of my mum's designers. Probably because she was the only one to have kids, though I know I was nothing like you little shits when I was younger."

"Kaoru and I were amazing." Hikaru smirked, changing out of his uniform to other clothes while Xavier examined the rest of his room. "No French today." Hikaru complained, pouncing on the bed and sitting pressed up against Xavier. He was starting to feel clingy and he wanted to touch someone. "Let's cuddle."

"No thanks." Xavier muttered as he felt Hikaru press up against him. "Why would you want to cuddle with me anyway? Can't you get dove to do it?"

"No. She'll hit me." He told him, pouting. "I just want someone to hug me!" He loved physical attention so much. He liked being near people and holding hands and cuddling and just laying on someone. "C'monnnnn." He pulled Xavier further onto the bed and snuggled up with him. He heard Xavier groan and smirked.

"You hate me." Xavier sighed, feeling embarrassed. Why did Hikaru have to do this to him? "Why do you like this sort of stuff?"

"I just do. Why don't you?" Hikaru asked, flipping on the tv an tossing the remote behind him, enjoying Xavier's warmth.

"I don't know…Vinny says it's because I associate it with Monique." He mumbled. "But I'm okay when people do it sometimes, like Vinny and Stella and Isaac."

"What about me?"

"I guess you too, but you're more forceful about it. Monique was kind of the same way, but things were rougher then." He admitted, running his fingers through his hair. "My parents had recently split and I kind of took another path. I wasn't looking for a relationship, I was looking for distractions. She came along and was so cute and sweet and innocent, even though that's not what I was interested in at the time. I was in a really bad place, but she broke me down and I gave in to her. I guess she thought a relationship would fix me, but I didn't want to be cuddled or had my hand held."

"Oh." Hikaru mumbled, but still stayed against Xavier.

"Now it's not so bad I guess. Being mates with those idiots in America made me more comfortable with it." He chuckled, mood getting better. "They liked it. It made them feel better so I was willing to do it. If it makes you feel better, I guess I'll deal with it sometimes."

"Sweet!" Hikaru exclaimed, pumping his fist. "Knew I could make you cave. Who wouldn't want to cuddle with someone as cute as me?"

"Do you use these lines on dove?" He questioned and Hikaru made a face, which meant that he did, but Haruhi didn't put up with them like Xavier did. He leaned back on his elbows and Hikaru still stayed close, enjoying how warm he was. "You're so weird." Xavier said after a few minutes.

"It's not weird that I like physical attention, it's perfectly normal."

"Because everything you do is perfectly normal."

"Normal is boring." Hikaru complained and Xavier looked at him. Hikaru really wanted to kiss him. Not romantically or anything, but he just wanted to feel that pleasure again. It made him feel tingly and it really made him feel relaxed but also nervous. It was a strange yet pleasing feeling. Maybe it was because later he would always imagine that he kissed Haruhi? "Teach me." Hikaru whined and Xavier raised his eyebrows, but sat up and put his arm around Hikaru's waist, pulling him closer.

"When you kiss her, you want her close. Closer she is, the least likely you are to miss her lips when you go in to kiss her." Xavier said, leaning in. "Don't force her though, you got to be gentle, unless you know, you two are going for something rough."

"Zave." Hikaru pouted as the male joked with him. "What if she doesn't like me touching her waist?"

"You can pull her closer by her hand, putting your hand on her back, or arse, or you can lean into her." He told him and Hikaru looked into his gray eyes, noticing the specks of blues in them.

"Where do I put my hands when we kiss?" He had gripped Xavier's hoodie the last time they kissed, but he was sure he couldn't do that with a female.

"Anywhere you want. On her waist, back, you can wrap your around her neck, here." He pulled away a little to pull Hikaru's arms from their spot pressed against Xavier to be around his neck. "That feel okay?" He questioned and Hikaru nodded his head. Xavier leaned in once more, this time kissing Hikaru.

Hikaru closed his eyes and opened his mouth when he felt Xavier's tongue run across his bottom lip and he moaned a little when Xavier's tongue pressed against his own tongue. He was starting to feel hot as the kiss continued but he didn't want to pull away from it. Xavier did pulled away after a few more moments, but only for Hikaru to get his breath back before Xavier was kissing him again, pulling him closer.

He nipped at Hikaru's lip, pulling at it a little. Hikaru didn't mind it at all, it felt amazing, and he felt his hands move to Xavier's scalp. He ran his fingers through his hair, moaning again when Xavier bit his lip a little harder. Hikaru decided to try and lead and licked the bottom of Xavier's lip. He felt Xavier pull away for a second to get air and chuckle. "Gettin' bold, love?" He questioned before pressing their lips again together, this time opening his mouth for Hikaru to slip his tongue inside.

Hikaru shivered at Xavier's voice. He could see why the girls got so worked up when he called them love. Xavier eventually pulled away for good this time, much to Hikaru's dismay.

"That was pretty good." Xavier said. He didn't mean to get so into it or let it go for so long, but at least he had pulled away before his hands went anywhere they weren't supposed to go. He needed to stop this because next time he wasn't so sure he would be able to stop. "I really don't think you need to practice anymore."

"What?" Hikaru didn't mean to sound so upset, but he was. How Xavier kissed him and held him was the attention Hikaru was craving.

"If we do anymore, it'd be more like a friends with benefits relationship." Xavier mumbled, and he really never wanted to get into one of those again. "Anyway, you like dove. She's the one you need to be snogging."

"But I like kissing." Hikaru stated, not pulling away from Xavier. "Then let's do it!"

"Excuse me?" Xavier asked, wondering if Hikaru was off of his rocker. "You want to be in a friends with benefits relationship? With me?"

"Yes!" Hikaru exclaimed and Xavier pulled away from him, shaking his head. "Come on Xavier, I'm not a kid and I want this."

"You are a kid and you don't know what you're asking for." Xavier told him as Hikaru grabbed his sleeve and pulled him back. "Hikaru you don't even know what friends with benefits do."

"I do too!" Hikaru argued and pinned Xavier down on the bed, angry that he was being treated like a kid. "Just because you have more experience doesn't mean I'm an idiot about these things. I know what I want."

"Do you?" Xavier asked, looking up at him. "Why do you want this anyway?"

"Because I like it." Hikaru said like it was the easiest thing in the world. "I like doing it and I want to keep doing it. With you." Xavier groaned after this, rubbing his face. This was bad. This was so bad.

"Hikaru, this is bad. You don't need to be wanting to do this sort of thing with me. This is your hormones talking here." He argued, needing Hikaru to get over this. "Your body likes this. I shouldn't have given in in the first place. This is my fault."

"I'm sixteen, I was already wanting to do stuff like this far before we started actually doing it." Hikaru told him, growing more and more frustrated. "I don't want to stop doing this. I like doing this with you and spending time with you." He yelped when Xavier flipped him, now on top.

"You know what friends with benefits do?" Xavier asked, leaning in to speak into Hikaru's right ear. "It's not just kissing and cuddling. It's biting and being rough and sex." Hikaru shivered again, feeling a little excited about this. "You sure you don't just want to hold dove's hand?" Why was he even giving Hikaru a choice? Was he actually considering doing this with Hikaru?

Oh god, he kind of was.

"I want to hold her hand but right now I want you." Hikaru said bluntly and Xavier stared at him. Hikaru smirked, seeing Xavier having inner conflict with himself about this. Hikaru really wasn't an idiot. He knew Xavier would be opposed to it but he knew Xavier was thrown off and a little turned on by how forward Hikaru could be. "C'mon." He wrapped his arms around his neck and whined, pulling Xavier down. "Please?" And he was going to use the fact Xavier hadn't had sex in months against him. Did he immediately want to have sex with Xavier? No, but he still wanted to keep doing this. "We can stop whenever you want and just study French or play video games."

"Hikaru."

"Don't you feel better afterwards? It's a stress reliever." Hikaru kept pulling Xavier closer down to him.

"You're a devil." Xavier groaned and Hikaru kept his smirk on his face. God, he was so screwed.

* * *

"Spend the night." Hikaru told Xavier after dinner was over. Xavier was already by the front door, his car waiting outside. "C'mon."

"I can't." Xavier told him, shaking his head. Dinner felt so awkward to him, probably because he had just made out with Hikaru before they went down to eat. "I got to get home. We have school tomorrow."

"Fine." Hikaru pouted, glancing behind him before looking back to Xavier. "Goodbye kiss." He said and leaned in. Xavier rolled his eyes at this, but quickly pecked Hikaru on the lips, making the ginger smile. "Was that so hard?"

"Friends with benefits don't do that." Xavier grumbled, knowing this wasn't going to be easy. Hikaru wouldn't be able to handle this.

"Well they should, and we will." Hikaru declared, nudging Xavier. "See you tomorrow."


	21. Sitting With A Girl, Fortunate Placing

"You should be hangin' off of dove." Xavier felt like he had said this before to Hikaru, but the male just wasn't getting it. Hikaru became more attached to Xavier over the weekend. Xavier was fine with it, but at the same time, he wasn't.

"I'm hanging out with her today after club. She was busy this whole weekend." Hikaru complained, sighing as they walked into the club room. Xavier spilt from him, going out on the balcony to have a quick smoke. He wasn't supposed to do it, but if you opposed it you'd get a death glare from him and his glares were piercing.

"You two are best friends?" Monique asked Hikaru, sipping her tea. Renge hadn't joined her yet and was approaching them with two plates with pieces of cake on them.

"Yeah, we are." He mumbled, not wanting to talk to her. She looked at him with narrowed eyes. "Problem with that?"

"No." She said, but it was obvious she had something she wanted to say. "Just don't get too used to having him around." She eyed him before looking back to her tea, taking a small sip of it.

"What does that mean?" Hikaru questioned but Xavier came back in at this moment and Monique just returned to her attention to Renge. Hikaru felt Xavier's hand pat his shoulder as he walked by to go to his couch. He turned his attention from Monique to Xavier, then to Haruhi as she walked by him. He followed after her eagerly.

"So, boss man, what do you have planned for the week?" Xavier questioned Tamaki, ready to go home. "Got a conference call to make with the mates and this is cutting into the time we have for it."

"We should do a police man theme one day!" Tamaki said, thinking it was an amazing idea.

"Okay this is going nowhere." Xavier stood, wanting to go home to talk to Vinny, Stella, and Isaac. "I'm shoving off."

"But it's still club time! You can't leave!" Tamaki exclaimed and Xavier just picked up his bag up.

"Yeah, no, sorry mate. I've got plans and it's not like I will really get a say in the themes this week. See you lot tomorrow." Monique rolled her eyes and Xavier caught it, giving her a glare.

"We should do a karaoke theme or something!" Renge suggested, trying to come up with a different idea.

"Xavier is the only one who can sing." Haruhi said, not liking the idea.

"Mona can sing too!" Renge exclaimed, smiling at her best friend. Xavier sighed, looking away from them with a pissed off expression.

"Unfortunately." Xavier grumbled, not happy Renge was pulling this stunt. Singing was his thing. "All she does is ruin amazing Taylor Swift songs." Xavier loved Taylor Swift, Unfortunately, so did Mona.

"I do not!" She exclaimed, glaring at Xavier. "I love Tay and I rock her songs. At least I don't sing the same depressing songs over and over again. The 1985? That's the band you're obsessed with, right?"

"The 1975!" He shouted and the two were at each other's throats, fighting over musicians and each other's taste in music.

"We're doing karaoke! I'll call someone about it when club is over and make sure I get the most modern machine!" Renge was just adding fuel to this fire.

"Oh joy, I get to listen to the sugar sweet pop star all day tomorrow." Xavier poked at Monique and she wanted to punch him.

"And I have to listen to the same old 'I hate this town I wanna leave' music you always listen to. Or the 'sex, alcohol, drugs' theme." Monique shot back, crossing her arms.

A growl came out of Xavier's throat and he looked so frustrated. "Fuck this." He turned and stormed towards the door.

"Oh yeah, run off like you always do." She called out to him. He flipped her off and slammed the door behind him.

* * *

"Karaoke time!" Renge squealed the next day in the club, standing up on stage with the tv prompter on her right and the speakers on each side and a mic in her hand.

Tamaki went up and sang, making a fool of himself, and the twins went up together with a few guests, singing a couple of love songs. It was actually a lot of fun until Renge pushed for Mona to go up there.

"You can sing?" Abby questioned and Mona nodded her head and smiled at her, making Abby giggle. All the younger girls loved Monique, which didn't surprise Xavier one bit. She was beautiful, talented, was a new student, and despite the ugly yellow dresses they had to wear, she was extremely fashionable.

Xavier hated how popular she was.

Mona scrolled through the list of songs on the tv screen before selecting one. The music started and Xavier inwardly groaned. Of course, Taylor Swift.

"_People like you always want back the love they gave away, and people like me wanna believe when you say you've changed. The more I think about it now, the less I know. All I know is that you drove us off the road! Hey, all you had to do was stay. Had me in the palm of your hands, then why'd you have to go and lock me out while I let you in? Hey! Now you say you want it back, now that it's just too late, well could have been easy." _She sang, her voice was light and beautiful.

"Oh wow." Misaki said in awe, watching Monique sing and put on a little show. Once she was done, the club clapped and she curtsied, smiling brightly.

"Oi, me next." Xavier knew she sang that song for him, trying to rile him up.

It worked.

He scrolled through the list, smirking as he picked his song and it started. She sat at her table and her faced turned sour when she recognized the song.

"_Nice to meet you, where you been? I can show you incredible things. Magic, madness, heaven, sin, saw you there and I thought 'oh my god, look at that face! You look like my next mistake.' Love's a game, wanna play?" _He sang, smirking at her face.

"How dare he sing Taylor Swift." She growled, balling her fists.

"_Ain't it funny, rumors fly, and I know you heard about me. So hey, let's be friends, I'm dying to see how this one ends. Grab your passport and my hand, I can make the good girls bad for a weekend!"_ He winked at Abby and she squealed.

"I like this." Hikaru smirked, angering Mona further. It rbought him joy to see how angry Monique was getting at this, but what did she expect? If she was going to throw shade, Xavier was going to throw it back even harder.

"_Got a long list of ex-lovers. They'll tell you I'm insane, but I got a blank space baby and I'll write your name. Girls only want love if it's torture. Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn you. Girls only want love if it's torture. Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn you!"_

"He has an amazing vocal range." Haruhi said, impressed with his voice.

"All those years at that school did him well." Tamaki was also impressed.

"_But I got a blank space baby and I'll write your name."_ He finished and chuckled, jumping off the stage to return to his guests. "How was that, love?"

"That was wonderful!" Abby exclaimed and the others saw the look he and Monique shot each other.

"Just what happened between you two?" Kaoru questioned, not understanding it at all. Mona furrowed her brows and stood up, stomping over to the stage. She quickly went up the few steps and went over to the screen, thumbing for a song. When she picked one, she grabbed the mic as the song began to play.

"_Flashing lights and we took a wrong turn and we fell down a rabbit hole. You held on tight to me, cause nothing's as it seems and spinning out of control. Didn't they tell us don't rush into things? Didn't you flash your green eyes at me? Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds? Didn't it all seem new and exciting? I felt your arms twistin' 'round me. I should have slept with one eye open at night! We found Wonderland, you and I got lost in it and we pretended it could last forever."_

Xavier leaned back on the couch, crossing his arms as she sang, rolling his eyes at her. He was getting tired of her and the tension was getting too thick at home and he couldn't handle it anymore.

"_I reached for you but you were gone. I knew I had to go back home. You searched the world for something else to make you feel like what we had, and in the end in Wonderland we both went mad."_

He sighed as he saw her face and rubbed his temples, feeling tired. He was sick of fighting with her on this. It was almost two years ago and she needed to let it go. He had let it go, why couldn't she? She finished her song and returned to her seat. Kaoru looked a little confused, but he was putting the lyrics together in his head to make out what their relationship was like.

"That's it." He grumbled, tired of this. Monique was going to play victim no matter what he said, but it didn't mean he was going to sit down and take it. "Let me do a song for my version of the relationship." He got up and headed over to the stage. He scrolled through the list of songs, before stopping on 'W.D.Y.W.F.M.?' and hitting play.

"_Two nights ago, she got that look in her eyes. Kaleidoscope, but that's only half the time. Three days before she told me that I don't even try. She's crazy, though, I guess there's something wrong inside."_ He sang, the song slow and fitting to Xavier. _"Maybe you're right, maybe this is all that I can be. But what if it's you, and it wasn't me? What do you want from me? What do you want from me?"_

"_Four weeks ahead, I thought that I should think some more. I'm fucked in the head, and my mind is turning into a whore. Five months go by, and I thought about letting her go. She's crazy, though, and I guess she took control. Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no." _He shook his head, giving her a disapproving look. _"Maybe she's right, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe we'll fight 'til it move us along. I can't deny writing this song. Hoping she'll find she's not alone. Maybe you're right, maybe this is all that I can be. But what if it's you, and it wasn't me? What do you want from me? What do you want from me?"_

He jumped off the stage again, pleased with himself.

* * *

"Don't you come over too much?" Monique questioned Hikaru as they walked up the stairs of Renge and Xavier's home. Renge was checking with the maid to make sure she brought up the right tea for her and Monique to drink, and Xavier was grabbing a snack from the kitchen. He had given Hikaru the key to his room so he could go ahead and roll around on the bed like he liked to do.

"Least I didn't move in." Hikaru replied, not letting her bother him. They got to the top of the stairs and Hikaru whipped out the key, hurrying over to Xavier's black door. "Have fun with your tea and crumpets, mate." He stuck out his tongue as he unlocked the door. "Cheers." He went in and shut it behind, leaving her red faced in the hallway.

"So what did you do to Monique?" Xavier questioned when he entered the room, two sodas in one hand and a bowl of popcorn in the other. Hikaru wondered how he got the door open, but let it go when Xavier shut the door with his hips and put the rim of the bowl in his mouth, biting onto it to free his hand to lock the door.

"Nothing?" Hikaru questioned, sitting up on the bed with a small smirk as Xavier walked over. He took the bowl out of Xavier's mouth and took the sodas, setting them on the bed and freeing up Xavier.

"Thanks." He mumbled and started to loosen his tie. "You sure? Heard her bitching about it to Renge. Whatever you did, I'm proud of." He chuckled and started up his after school routine of smoking and changing clothes.

"She was just being a stuck up jerk. I'm not going to let her insult me."

"She insulted you?" Xavier asked, annoyed now. Monique needed to back off his friends or she was going to have issues.

"Sort of. I insulted her back so don't worry about it." Hikaru twisted the top of his soda and took a sip before grabbing some popcorn. "Why? You getting all protective?" He wiggled his eyebrows and Xavier put out his cigarette and went to change out of his uniform.

"No." He replied, because yeah, he was getting protective. The members of the Host Club were his friends and that meant that Monique couldn't talk shit about them without getting shit from him. After he changed he plopped down on the bed, taking some popcorn for himself.

"Yes you areeeeee!" Hikaru was having a ball with this. Xavier looked frustrated but Hikaru wasn't going to stop.

"You and the others are my mates." He grumbled, glancing at Hikaru. "I don't like it when people talk horribly about my mates."

"Awah!" Hikaru launched himself at Xavier, hugging the male. "You love us."

"Don't love ya mate." He sighed deeply, knowing he should be used to this by now, but he wasn't. God, Hikaru was so like Stella. Hikaru pushed himself up and sat in Xavier's lap, trying to get comfy.

"Hey lay back on the bed more. I can't get comfy." Hikaru complained and Xavier shot him a look. Hikaru returned it, so he gave in and scooted back onto the bed more until Xavier had his back against his pillows and headboard. Hikaru adjusted and sat on his lap, leaning back against his chest to watch tv. "Much better."

"Why?" Xavier asked and Hikaru glanced at him. "You're so touchy feely."

"I like to touch people." Hikaru told him. "Not like, pervertedly, but you get it."

"Ah, well, I like to touch people. Pervertedly." Xavier replied with a chuckle. Mona was making him feel stressed and he was feeling like he wanted to hear Hikaru's cute sounds he made when they were kissing. He needed a distraction.

"I wanna cuddle." Hikaru told him, too comfortable to move. Xavier wrapped his arms around Hikaru's waist and put his chin on Hikaru's head. "Much better." Hikaru relaxed against him, liking this.

Xavier felt awkward but at the same time this felt normal. It was like Vinny and Stella were cuddling him and he felt stable. "Whatever you want to do." Xavier said getting comfortable. This feeling wasn't going to last and tonight he could be a wreck but right now he wasn't.

"Told you I could do this friends with benefits thing." Hikaru told him reaching behind him to pat his check. He accidently hit Xavier's mouth instead.

"This is totally working." Xavier grumbled.


	22. It Feels Like I'm Just Treading Water

**Thank you so much for your reviews!**

**Honestly, I have read this story probably more times than all of you combined. I reread the chapters I've posted, and the ones I've written and are waiting to be posted. I reread constantly to make sure things are consistent in all the chapters. **

**(You'd think with how many times I read the chapters I'd do a better job at proof reading)**

**So thank you! I do try really hard to make a great, entertaining, and I'm so amazed to hear it's also inspiring? Like wow thanks so much!**

**I HOPE I DON'T LET YALL DOWN!**

**Also thanks for much for messaging me and leaving such sweet reviews. I know I say it a lot but they really do mean a lot and you guys are so sweet and cute and I wish I could hug you all but that's impossible and I actually am not the biggest fan of hugs or touching people in general.**

**But I would give you guys hugs**

* * *

Xavier grumbled as he heard the pounding on his door the next morning. He didn't want to get out of his bed and he definitely didn't want to go to school. It was a Friday, so he just decided to skip school and make it a three day weekend.

"Xavier! Get up!" Renge shouted and pounded on the door again, frustrated with her cousin.

"I don't feel good." He called back, hoping she'd leave him alone. It was the truth. He heard her call him lazy but she left him alone, thank god.

Xavier wasn't lazy. He was depressed. He had been doing pretty well. He wasn't stupid enough to think he had beaten it though. He knew this day was going to come eventually. He was having too many good days.

Everything was starting to feel bad and his mind was starting to go to a dark place. He needed to get up and do something, like take a jog or a shower, something to get him out of this cloud, but he couldn't will himself to move. He snuggled back down into his pillow, letting out a deep sigh.

He reached his hand out for his phone, unplugging it and pulling it closer so he could text. Right now would be the perfect time for Vinny or Stella or even Isaac to burst into his room. He needed comfort and someone to get him through this. He needed someone who knew him inside and out and knew what to do. He felt so pathetic now. What was wrong with him? Why did he feel like this all of a sudden? Didn't he feel fine when he went to bed? "Oh bullocks." He sighed again as the thoughts started to come in. Was this because he didn't take his medication? It had to be that. It was all his fault.

Vinny wasn't replying to his text, but that wasn't very surprising. He was probably working out or napping or doing whatever Vinny did when Xavier wasn't around. Vinny was his support group. Vinny needed to reply.

* * *

Xavier startled awake, tangled in his sheets in a cold sweat. It was so hot in his room and he felt like he was going to pass out. He heard Monique shuffling around in her room, so he figured it must be the afternoon now.

He sat up, still not feeling any better. He felt so down and he didn't know how to handle this. He had drank all his whiskey up last night and he was planning to get more today, but, he wasn't going outside or even out of his room today. He obviously had no one here with him to provide sexual favors. He wasn't going to do it with Hikaru. He wasn't that desperate.

He just needed something to make it go away or make him forget it or go numb against it. He saw the texts from Hikaru and Haruhi, but he ignored them and focused in on the missed call from Vinny.

"Vinny?" His voice cracked, throat dry, when he heard his friend pick up.

"Hey! What's up?" Vinny questioned and Xavier wanted to go back to sleep. "Dude…hey, what's wrong?"

"I don't know." He replied, wrapping himself up in his blanket, suddenly feeling cold. "Don't feel good."

"Are you sick?" Vinny couldn't see him and it was freaking him out. He was thousands of miles away from his friend and he couldn't help. "Is it a bad day?" He took Xavier's silence as a yes. "Hey, it's okay man. I'm here. Have you eaten?"

"Don't want to."

"Showered?"

"Don't want to."

"You need to eat, now. I don't care if it's a cracker or a full course meal you need to eat." Vinny told him. "How long have you felt like this? How long has it been since you last ate?"

"I woke up like this. I ate last night." Xavier told him and Vinny relaxed a little. "I might go back to sleep. I'm so tired."

"Eat before you sleep, or at least take a shower. Showers always make you feel better." Vinny tried to be gentle because one thing could throw Xavier off the edge and he didn't know how much alcohol Xavier had hidden away in his room or in the house. "You got that?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I'm going to call back in a few hours." Vinny told him and hung up. Xavier pushed the phone away from him and fell back asleep.

* * *

A loud noise woke Xavier up again. It was dark outside, he assumed since no sunlight was trying to get through the cracks in his blinds on his windows. His phone was going off and it was Vinny. He answered and assured him that he had eaten, even though it was a lie. Vinny promised to call back the next morning and Xavier promised to shower.

He pushed the phone away from him again and made no efforts to get up. He could do this. He had to eat something, he knew this. He wasn't fifteen anymore with his parents constantly fighting and a messy custody battle with cameras flashing persistently in his face. He wasn't pushing it all to the back of his mind and dealing with it by barely being sober, which was so pathetic for someone as young as him.

He sat up, kicking the blankets off of him, growing frustrated. He was hot again and felt suffocated. He stumbled out of the bed and over to the window, opening it and letting the cold air in. It helped a little but he couldn't slow his breathing down and it was panicking him. He looked around his room, spotting his lighter and cigarettes on his desk. He snatched one up and lit it, taking a long drag of it, calming down.

"Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk." He groaned as he blew out the smoke. Why couldn't he help himself without using drugs or alcohol? Couldn't he be good to himself? For once? He took another drag and rolled his eyes. No, he couldn't.

There was a knock on his door and he wasn't sure if he could answer it right now in the state he was in. "What?" He questioned, feeling the need to sleep again. He was so exhausted.

"You want dinner?" It was Renge again and he shook his head in reply, but felt stupid because she couldn't see it.

"No, I'll probably throw it up. I've got a stomach bug." He told her because lying was so much easier. "I think I'll be fine. I'm going to go back to sleep."

"Okay. Let us know if you don't feel any better and we'll get the doctor." She told him before walking away from the door, leaving him alone again, which was the _last_ thing he _needed_ but was the _first_ thing he _wanted_. He needed to eat and he needed to shower. He needed to answer Hikaru and Haruhi's text messages and he needed to stop feeling like this.

He finished his cigarette and went back to bed.

* * *

"Xavier! Get up! The Club is here!" He heard Renge exclaimed on the other side of his door, banging on it with her fist as hard as she could. He sat up quickly, kicking the blankets off him again and staggering to the door. He unlocked it and opened it a little, glaring.

"What?" He questioned through clenched teeth. Renge stepped back a little startled by him. "What do you want pounding on my door this early?" His eyes looked blood shot and the dark circles under his eyes were more noticeable.

"It's noon." Yuukio said and Xavier saw her through the crack in the door. It was noon? Hot damn how long did he sleep?

"I stayed up late so this is early." He lied, because that's all he ever did when he was like this. "Don't wanna go out."

"You feeling okay?" Haruhi asked this and he didn't know if he could lie to her big doe eyes. "Renge told us you were sick when she came to school yesterday. You don't look too good."

"You sure know how to charm people, don't you dove?" He questioned, forcing a small smile on his face. He wanted nothing more than to slam the door in their faces, but they were his friends. They were just worried about him and they didn't deserve to be treated like that. "Just a stomach bug. I'm fine. I already have Vinny calling me every few hours to check up on me."

"Lot of good he'll do you being a thousand miles away." Yuukio spoke up again and Xavier caught Hikaru's eye before looking at Yuukio.

"I feel like shit. I'm not going out with you." He told them, deciding he was done with talking and standing. He needed to eat, that would make him feel better. Too bad he didn't even feel like he had enough energy to walk down the stairs for food.

"We'll stay in with you!" Tamaki suggested. He was working Xavier's nerves.

"No thanks." He grumbled, closing the door a little more, making the crack smaller. "I'm sick so get out of here." He saw Renge shoot them a look and Yuukio patted her shoulder. Before he realized it Yuukio had her foot in the crack in the door, and she demanded to be let in.

"You guys go on out. I'm going to take care of sick boy here." She told them, nodding her head. "My immune system is top notch." Kaoru didn't seem to happy, neither did Hikaru, but the group left as Yuukio pushed her way into the room and shut the door behind her.

"Get out." Xavier told her, but he didn't know why he bothered trying.

"Stella called me." She told him, putting her hands on her hips. "Called me and told me you called Vinny and you were going through a rough patch. You haven't been drinking, right?"

"My whiskey and other fun drinks were gone before I woke up like this yesterday morning." He told her, sitting on his bed. "She called you?"

"Of course she did. We hit it off last time she came over. She's such a lovely lass you know, very charming. Anyway, they're worried about you so they wanted me to check up on you." She explained, looking him over. He definitely wasn't looking good, but she was sure she could help. "Have you showered?"

"Yes." He replied and she shook her head, not believing his lie.

"Okay, go take one. You need to clean yourself. You know it'll make you feel better, Vinny told me so." She just had to take this a step at a time and remember that she couldn't take a commanding tone with him. Vinny warned her he'd shut off if she tried to behave like that, and it was so difficult not to. She also had to watch out for lies. Xavier would lie through his teeth, and he was good at it too. "You'll feel clean and fresh. Have you eaten?"

"Of course."

"When was the last time you ate?" She asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Thursday night." He confessed and she sighed, shaking her head again. "I don't feel like eating or showering."

"Honey, I know you don't, but you need to. You got to trust me on this one. Go take a nice shower and I'll get you something to eat. You don't have to eat all of it, but you need to eat just a little." She felt like she was talking to a child. He just sat on the bed, looking at the carpet. He looked so isolated and miserable. "Xavier…" She stepped towards him and reached out, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't want to." He sighed, knowing he had to. He didn't want Yuukio standing there seeing him like this. He didn't want her to know he had problems, even though she already had to know about it, but he wanted her to think he had control over it. That he was getting better.

"You need to." She said and pulled on his arm. He got up and wondered over to his bathroom. "I'll get you something to eat." She said and he held up a thumbs up before he shut the bathroom door. She hurried over to his blinds and opened a few, letting some sun light in, before she ventured off downstairs to see what she could find for him to eat.

* * *

"I'm full." Xavier complained, sitting on his bed with Yuukio next to him. She had a tray of food on her lap and he had the remote in his hand, flipping through channels. The shower had made him feel a lot better, but now he was acting like a bratty child.

"Xavier, you haven't eaten any of it." Yuukio complained, feeling more frustrated now. "You like pasta, don't you? Eat this pasta." She put the bowl in his lap and shoved a fork in his hand. He groaned but she was firm with her actions. He gave in and started eating slowly. "So what happened?"

"Hm?" Xavier questioned, already starting to feel much better. He didn't know why he tortured himself so much. Vinny must have told Yuukio this was his favorite pasta dish.

"What happened? You were okay Thursday, weren't you?" She continued, feeling bad for him. What if he always felt like this and forced everything? Was he really this bad?

He stuffed more pasta in his mouth, not realizing how hungry he was. "I'm fine. I really think I was just sick." He knew this was a lie but he couldn't let Yuukio know how much of a wreck he was. She was Renge's best friend. She could tell Renge how messed up he was and she would tell his father and who knows what who happen to him then?

"Are you sure? Stella and Vin-"

"Were over reacting. I really had a stomach bug, but I feel better." He told her, finishing his food and putting the empty bowl on the tray. "That's why I really didn't want to eat. I was worried I was going to toss it back up but I think I won't." She made a disgusted face at what he said and rolled her eyes.

"Well, feel better soon. I have this fashion show in Berlin at the end of October. I really don't want to go by myself, because I'll be there a few extra days with nothing to do. I was wondering if you wanted to come." She said, feeling a little awkward. Xavier needed to get out of here, even if it was for a few days. Monique being here was taking a toll on him. The end of October was only a week and a half away, so it gave him time to think about it.

"Sure." He agreed quickly. He loved Berlin. He loved Germany. He loved Europe. He loved being away from Monique. "Got nothing else to do but school, and who cares about that?" He questioned, shooting her a look. "If I'm stuck here much longer I might go mad."

"You haven't already?" Yuukio questioned, arching her eyebrows.

"Oh, dear crumpet, you have yet to see me truly mad." He replied and she grew a little worried.


	23. Drink, fall, spew Telephone you

**YOU GUYS ARE SO SWEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT**

* * *

Xavier knew Hikaru was watching him. He had been watching him every time Xavier was in the hallway. He had finally got out of his low, thank god, but now he had to deal with Hikaru. This friends with benefits thing was not going to work, at all. It was a bad idea but he wasn't sure how to stop it.

He knew Hikaru was probably angry after being ignored all weekend, but, that's how it was going to be. Xavier wasn't always going to deal with his illness well and Hikaru needed to get over that.

He spent his next class trying to figure out how to deal with the whole friends with benefits thing but he was coming up blank by the time the class let out. He gathered his stuff and headed to the library for his free period. He didn't see Hikaru anywhere around, so he figured he was already in the library at their usual table with Haruhi.

"There you are." He heard Hikaru whispered and he was pulled into an aisle of books by the twin. "What happened this weekend?"

"What? I was sick." He told him, facing the ginger haired male. He looked angry and a little upset. Maybe he was angry that Xavier didn't tell him he wasn't feeling great?

"You should've replied to my texts. I would've came over sooner." He continued and Xavier got an idea.

Hikaru thought he could handle being friends with benefits, only because Xavier had been so reluctant about it. Until now.

"Why? You worried about me?" Xavier questioned, getting closer to Hikaru and into his personal space. Hikaru seemed surprised by this. "I'm touched, love."

"Of course I was worried about you. You're such a shut in." Hikaru complained, trying to shake his nervousness off. He hated it when Xavier called him 'love'. It always sent shivers up his spine, especially when he said it in_ that_ tone. "You might see the sun and explode."

"Eh, I don't think I'm that bad. I'm a little pale but the sun and I are decent friends." Xavier continued this, leaning in a little closer. He was waiting for Hikaru to run, but at the same time, he was hoping he wasn't going to. This was so fun to him and he missed this sort of thing. When he came to Japan, all the flirting and sexual fun came to a halt.

He was conflicting himself. His logic was trying to win but he was fairly certain it wasn't going to.

"At least reply to my texts next time." Hikaru mumbled, letting Xavier get closer to him. He didn't know what happened, because he was pissed as hell at Xavier before, but now all he wanted to do was kiss him. "Don't try to use that charm on me, I'm still pissed at you."

"Awah, really?" Xavier questioned, tilting his head a little, his lips centimeters from Hikaru.

"Y-Yeah." Hikaru whispered before Xavier finally kissed him. Hikaru wrapped his arms around the male's neck, pulling him against him. He felt pathetic but he had missed this. The fact that they were making out, in the library, at school, got his adrenaline pumping and he moaned quietly into Xavier's mouth.

"Better quiet down." Xavier whispered when they pulled for air. His mouth when to Hikaru's neck, sucking at it.

"No marks." Hikaru gasped when he felt Xavier nip at the skin.

"How boring. I love to bite." Xavier complained, but he knew if he left a mark on Hikaru, someone would see and the two would be in big trouble. Hikaru was pressed against the bookshelf and for a split second, he was scared it was going to fall over, until he remembered it was built into the building and it wasn't going anywhere.

Xavier moved back up to Hikaru's lips and settled his hands on the male's waist while he tongue slipped into his mouth, much rougher than the previous kiss. This is what he loved to do and it emptied his mind, distracting him from the other things going on in his life.

"We're goin' get caught." He heard Hikaru whine in-between kisses and that just made Xavier want to kiss him more. His reason was so foggy right now. "Xavier…"

"Then don't go pulling me into these aisles." He pulled away, feeling proud of himself with how red Hikaru's lips were. "And saying those types of things." He pressed his lips against the male's neck, lightly nipping at it again, making sure not to leave any marks.

"I didn't plan for this to happen. I was planning on yelling at you." He mumbled, liking the feeling on his neck. "I'm not saying anything remotely erotic."

"You're so blunt." Xavier said against his neck, rolling his eyes. He pulled away completely this time. "You definitely were earlier and it's difficult to keep my hands to myself with you saying that stuff." He plan sort of back fired on him but was he really that disappointed? No, not really.

He should be disappointed but he wasn't.

"Haruhi is going to wonder where we are." Hikaru pulled his arms away and straightened his uniform. "Give me more of a warning if you're going to do something like that."

"That was your warning. Friends with benefits with me is going to be like that." Xavier saw a little flash of worry in Hikaru's eyes. Was he regretting his choice?

"Then next time, let's try for somewhere with a door, that we can lock." He replied with a smirk. He picked up his bag off the floor and walked out of the aisle. Xavier looked after him, impressed.

"Oh this will be fun." He mumbled and picked his own bag up and followed Hikaru.

* * *

"Oh, yes, I'm taking Xavier to Berlin with me at the end of October." Yuukio brought up and Renge almost dropped her fork. Monique widened her eyes, surprised by what the model said. "What?" Yuukio questioned, looking at her two friends. "You two can't go and I want someone to come with me."

"You're going to regret that." Monique shook her head. "He's going to run off every second he can, you know."

"Are you sure you want to take him? You have to keep an eye out for him. He's like a child." Renge added, nodding her head to agree with Monique. Yuukio felt a jolt of annoyance. Xavier was older than all of them, and yes, he was ignoring his problems like a child would and lying to her about them, but he wasn't an idiot.

"I'm pretty sure we can handle it." She said, a hint of sarcasm to her tone. It's not like Xavier was going to run off on her and go get hammered in the streets!

"Fine, but keep an eye on him." Renge said and glanced at her cousin, who was leaned back on his couch, chatting to Abby and Misaki. "After that stunt he pulled this weekend, he's lucky I haven't called Uncle."

"He can't help that he got a stomach virus, Renge. You aren't that friendly when you're sick." Yuukio told her friend, trying to reason with her. She was being harsh on Xavier and she felt bad for him. It reminded her how harsh her mother could be on her. "It'd be nice for him to get to go explore for a bit. He needs it."

"Maybe you could leave him there." Monique grumbled and Yuukio fought the urge to tell Monique that _she_ was the one who came here and disturbed the peace. "You know, Hikaru comes over so much." She changed topic when she looked at Xavier, who was now turned, speaking to Hikaru who was standing behind his couch. Yuukio couldn't tell what they were talking about, but it looked like they were flirting with the way the other guests were freaking out.

"Look at them!" Renge cheered happily, going off the deep end when Xavier took a hold of Hikaru's tie and pulled his face closer, whispering something in his ear.

"What are they doing?" Monique, amazingly, was sane about this sort of thing. Probably because it was her ex-boyfriend doing this and she had seen him flirt, and do much more, with guys before at the numerous parties she went to before the two started dating.

"They're just good friends and they're pleasing the guests." Yuukio said with a wave of her hand.

Yuukio had really wanted Kaoru to go with her to Berlin, but being away from Hikaru for that long and being on an entirely different continent than his twin was too much for them to handle too soon. Xavier was a good second choice, though, because he would be fun and wouldn't hold her back. He'd entertain himself when she was busy with practicing for the runway and wouldn't be annoying her to hang out with him, like Renge would.

"You don't think they're doing anything?" Monique wasn't so sure about them just being friends.

"Excuse me?" Yuukio asked with raised eyebrows. She began laughing, because oh god, Hikaru and Xavier? Together? Even the thought of them just fooling around was hilarious to her. "No no, definitely not." Hikaru was far too into Haruhi and Xavier's type was no one like Hikaru. Xavier liked someone easy who wouldn't be upset when they woke up the next morning and he was gone.

"No need to laugh, I was just observing." Monique grumbled, rolling her eyes. She knew something was up in this club, but she couldn't pin point on what it was.

"What are you two doing?" Haruhi grumbled, looking at Xavier and Hikaru with a blank expression.

"Just talking about plans for tonight, dove. You want to join?" Xavier winked at her and the guests went wild. "We all know I'm quite experienced with threesomes."

"Oh yeah, definitely join us." Hikaru added on, loving to tease her.

"No no no!" Tamaki shouted, shaking his head and grabbing Haruhi. "You stay away from my Haruhi, you two devils!"

"Devil? Little harsh now, don't you think?" Xavier questioned. "Hikaru and Kaoru are the devilish lads here. I'm think I'm quite charming."

"No." Tamaki said and held Haruhi tightly. All the guests were finding this funny and cute, thank god. Hikaru was starting to get irritated at Tamaki for how he was hugging Haruhi.

"Awah, you don't want to join us?" Xavier continued to tease, because that's what the guests wanted to see and he needed to try and avoid conflict. "Fine, suit yourself. Guess it's just you and me tonight, Hikaru." He pulled down Hikaru again with his tie, grinning at him. "Unless your brother wants to join in?"

"I'll consider it, as long as you don't hog Hikaru this time." Kaoru played along to Xavier's relief. He knew he could count on Kaoru to play along. The guests squealed after he said this. "I know you favor Hikaru, but you got to share him."

"He is a bit selfish, isn't he?" Hikaru added, finally getting over Tamaki hugging Haruhi.

"You've never complained about getting all that attention before. If anything, you're the selfish one, but I don't mind that too much. You do make the best sounds." Xavier was being completely truthful now and Hikaru could tell. "Guess we'll finish this later on, yeah?" He questioned with a smirk, letting Hikaru's tie go.

"How can you look me in the eye and say nothing is going on?" Monique questioned, looking at Yuukio.

* * *

"You handled Tamaki well in club today." Xavier said. It was after school and Hikaru was in his lap on his bed, legs wrapped around Xavier.

"Yeah, well, only because I called dibs on her this weekend." Hikaru muttered, resting his head on Xavier's shoulder. "He's so annoying!"

"I know." Xavier chuckled a little and rubbed Hikaru's back, letting him pout and complain. He was leaned against his headboard on his bed, trying to make Hikaru feel better.

"Don't laugh at my pain." Hikaru complained, not liking how Xavier was amused at this.

"Look mate, I'm a fuck buddy not a therapist." Xavier stated some truth and Hikaru groaned at this.

"You're not a 'fuck buddy'. That's so crude sounding. You're my best friend I fool around with but also cuddle with." Hikaru corrected him, leaning back to look at Xavier while he said this.

"Awfully long title. I don't remember agreeing to all of that." Xavier was realizing that he usual tactics weren't going to work. This wasn't going to be a normal Friends with Benefits relationship. "Is there a manga that has a plot similar to this?"

"I highly doubt it. I would've read it by now." Hikaru told him with a shake of the head. He messed with the front of Xavier's shirt, fiddling with the design on it. "How long are you going to be in Berlin?"

"Only a few days, I think." Xavier told him, running his fingers down Hikaru's back lightly. "You going to miss me?"

"No, but I expect a cool present." Hikaru smirked as he said this and laughed at Xavier's expression. "C'mon, don't I get a present?"

"Pretty sure I gave you one in the library earlier today." Xavier replied, eyebrows slightly raised.

"That's not a present. I can get that whenever I want." Hikaru declared, moving his hands to the back of Xavier's neck, fingers running through his hair and along the shaved sides of his head. Hikaru had caught on to what Xavier had attempted to do earlier today, and he wasn't going to be scared off by Xavier's forwardness.

"You make me sound like a cheap whore that's always at your beckon call." Xavier scoffed, moving his hands down Hikaru's sides before stopping on his hips. "Guess that's not too far off from what I am, so I'll let it slide this one time."

There was a loud knocking on his door before either of them could say anything more.

"What?" Xavier called, not in the mood to be interrupted. He looked to the door and he felt Hikaru kiss his neck. "We're busy!"

"I need your help with something. Come on!" Monique shouted from the other side of the door and Hikaru bit down hard on Xavier's neck, pissed that Monique was interrupting them. "I dropped my favorite earrings behind my dresser and I can't move it."

"Be right back." He said, gently pushing Hikaru off of him. "And if I can't bite, you can't bite either." He chuckled and got up, unlocking the door and leaving the room, going to help Monique. She eyed Hikaru and surveyed the room, like she was looking for something, but hastily following after Xavier.

Hikaru sat on the bed, knowing Monique had done it on purpose. Was she trying to move in on Xavier again? He crossed his arms and huffed, waiting for Xavier to come back. He returned a few minutes later, shutting and locking his door behind him.

"Awah, love, you upset I left?" He teased, getting back onto the bed. He pulled Hikaru over to him and starting kissing his neck, wanting to continue what Hikaru had started. "Not my fault my ex is a weak cry baby."

"You should've told her no." Hikaru complained, settling himself into Xavier's lap again.

"And hear her bitch? Don't think so. Not like it was that difficult of a request anyway." Xavier didn't see why Hikaru was getting like this. "You keep pouting and I'm going to start teaching you French."

"That's not fair."

"La vie est injuste." Xavier replied in French and Hikaru wanting to punch him, but refrained. Xavier could easily take him in a fight and he didn't want to test his theory.

* * *

**Life is Unfair**


	24. For Crying Out Loud

**Thank you so much for the reviews, favs, and follows! They all mean a lot and you guys are just so sweet and cute and god I love yall! Thanks for the reviews, they really do mean so much to me!**

* * *

"Are you excited for Berlin?" Yuukio asked once they were settled on the plane. The others wanted to come see them off, but their flight was leaving at midnight.

"Hell yeah." He grinned and looked over the small menu the air hostess gave him. "You a nervous flyer?"

"I fly a lot, it's only take off that I'm a little shaky on. I think the movement just makes me sick." She muttered. She had gotten a lot better about flying. She loved flying, but take offs were something she dreaded.

"Well, I doubt vodka is the answer, but it's worth a shot." He said and waved over the air hostess.

* * *

"I love taking late flights." Xavier sighed happily when they arrived at their hotel. It was around six in Berlin right now and the sun was setting beautifully. "Now we can go sleep and wake up without jetlag."

"I plan my flights that way. Now, I have runway practice in the morning, but I'm free in the afternoon. Do you want to get lunch with me?" She asked as they got the bellhop to get their bags and went to check in.

"Sure." Xavier shrugged and let Yuukio check them in. The hotel was huge and beautiful, with old paintings everywhere. Traveling was one of his favorite things to do and this was so much better than getting stuck in a class learning things he didn't need to know. Why did he need to know Shakespeare when he was going to be in a band?

"Good, good. I'll come back to the hotel, freshen up, and we can go out and explore for a bit, or I can meet you somewhere if you're already out." Yuukio said as they headed to the elevator. The bellhop pressed the button for their floor, then walked them to their rooms once they got to the floor. Xavier tipped him and he was gone, leaving them in the hallway.

"Eh, just call me. I don't know what I'll feel like tomorrow." He said and unlocked his room across from hers. "I'm getting room service tonight. I'm beat."

"Me too. See you tomorrow."

* * *

Xavier had ventured off on his own the next morning. He mostly just walked around and ventured down alleyways and over bridges and all around, enjoying himself. He didn't know why he liked to walk around aimlessly so much, but he did. The air was cold and he almost slipped, but he was bundled up and being extra careful after that mishap.

"What did you do today?" Yuukio asked, hurrying across the street to join him. "I knew you wouldn't want to stay in the hotel."

"I walked around and explored. Found this super yummy café a little ways off. It stays open late so we should hit it up for dinner or dessert." He told her, glancing in the direction the café was. "How was the runway practice?"

"Great, but I need boobs." She huffed, frustrated. Xavier looked at her, but let her continue without saying anything against it. "Mom said I must be a late bloomer and I'm not expecting like, huge breasts, but, you know, at least a B-cup. That's all I ask. How will I ever be in the Victoria Secret fashion show when I'm flat as a board? She told me she was the same way and she got boobs when she hit eighteen."

"Then relax." Xavier told her, not knowing how to handle this. "Everyone's body is different. You got plenty of time."

"It's frustrating." She pulled him into a restaurant, stomach growling. They were quickly seated and the waitress was friendly and helpful and got their drinks and took their orders without making them wait long. "We'll have to go to that café later. That runway is tomorrow and I've got to get plenty of sleep."

"Do you want me to come?" Xavier asked, sipping his drink. He didn't know what Yuukio wanted him to do.

"You can, if you'd like. Then I have this after party but I don't think I'm going. The models at this show are older than me and think I'm just a child…." She was upset about this. She was young, yeah, but she was a great model. She worked hard to be the best she could.

"Sounds like you should go. I'll go with you and I'll be front row at that fashion show." He smirked. "Don't let them win like that."

"Fine, I'll go. How are you going to get a front row seat? It's all sold out." Yuukio said and he continued to smirk.

"You do know who my mother is, right?" He questioned as the waitress set their food down on the table. "I'll be there and then we're going to party and get a little drunk!"

* * *

"Okay no this isn't what I had in mind." He regretted everything right now.

So, the fashion show was great. He was in the front row, like he said he would be, and they went to the party, like he said they would. They showed up the other models, and Yuukio was feeling much better than she had before.

However, he forgot that Yuukio was really skinny and her tolerance for alcohol wasn't the highest. This was why he was in her hotel room with her while she raided the mini fridge for more alcohol. Luckily he got her out of the party before anyone noticed how drunk she was.

"You can't hold your alcohol crumpet." He felt like this might be his fault, but he didn't know he was supposed to watch how much she drank. For god's sake, you would think he was the one that needed to be watched.

"Shut up." She told him, glaring at him and shutting the fridge.

"Okay, rude." He grumbled, settling on her bed. "What made you start gulping down drinks?" She had been fine and in the right mindset until she got a phone call.

"My sister! She was caught, again, at another party. She's so young and she's making so many mistakes!" She started to ramble, clearly upset. "I have been the perfect child since I was born! I did what I was told and was more than happy to follow in my mother's footsteps. I was good at being a model and I enjoyed it, so I saw no problem. I carried on the Kingsly's name with grace and beauty, then my sister came along and I was so happy and I wanted to be the greatest sister on this earth, I really did, but things just didn't go like I thought and she was going to take over dad's business and I was sent here and I don't know!"

"Woah woah." Xavier said, reaching for her but she swatted his hand away.

"No!" She exclaimed, getting angry. She had obviously been holding this in for a while. "She hates me! She bloody hates me! She thinks I'm ruining her life because I want the world for her! I want her happy and healthy and being the best she can and I just don't understand what I did wrong? Was I too controlling? Was it because I had to travel for my job?" She rambled, rubbing her fingers through her hair. She settled on the floor now, pulling her shoes and jewelry off, tired of it. "I was too controlling. That's why I have to change and better myself so I can be a sister and not a parent to her!"

"Yuukio…"

"That's why I admire Kaoru so much. He's such wonderful brother and I'm so lucky he's my friend. He's so cute and funny and smart and gentle and caring. He's a perfect brother to Hikaru and he cares for him so much. I want to be like him!"

"Yuukio, really, it's okay." He needed to calm her down or someone would come banging on her door.

"No! It's not! She turning out like you!" She turned on him now, cheeks red. "She parties and drinks and she's so young and she's ruining herself! I don't want her to be like you! I can't handle her doing that to herself! Hiding all her problems and trying to distract herself from them by getting drunk and having sex and locking herself in her room away from everyone, only happy once in a while." She looked like she was going to cry and Xavier just stared at her. "I can't let her ruin herself."

Xavier sighed, running his hands through his hair, not knowing what to say. She was drunk, but god, sometimes you said your most honest thoughts when you were drunk. Everything she said was true, but it really hurt how she said it. Like he was a lost cause. He was the last thing she wanted her sister to become.

"It's…..it's not like I willingly did it." He told her, feeling frustrated. Her sister had parents who loved each other and stayed together and she was getting the world offered to her. Her sister was great in business, yeah, she was young and naïve, but she was book smart and she could fast talk like an old business man.

He didn't have parents that loved each other. He had a failed marriage and lights in his face and five years of things that were far beyond his control on his shoulders. He had no way to cope and a sudden lost in things he loved and a new love for things that made him forget or made him feel anything other than the horrible creeping darkening thoughts that were always with him. He had a failed relationship with someone who wanted him to be someone he couldn't be and he had had a chance. He had a chance to be better and he had people that knew he was better than this and were patient and understanding and he had gotten better and he had been happy.

Then he wasn't.

He thought maybe he was getting better by himself but maybe he had just been using Hikaru as a distraction? Using the club as a distraction? He couldn't tell what made him happy or what just got him to forget his problems. Couldn't they be the same thing? Happy things distracted him too, right?

"Come on." He stood and went over to her. He pulled her up, despite her struggles, and set her on the bed. He made her lay down and put a blanket over her. "Go to sleep, crumpet." He was starting to wish he had drank a little more, so maybe he could wake up and forget this like he knew Yuukio was going to.

He left her and went to his own room, hoping he had something to drink in his mini fridge.

* * *

He didn't wait for Yuukio to come knocking on his door the next day. He was unfortunately sober and he remembered everything she had yelled at him. He was sure she didn't and he wasn't going to bring it up. Still, he got up and left the hotel, not in the mood to be stuck in the room. It was cold, but he needed to smoke and try to clear his head.

Maybe he could catch a train to cab or something to Paris? His mother wouldn't mind him visiting for a few days and he wouldn't mind seeing Jackal. Then again, he couldn't. His father would find out that he skipped out on school and he'd be in trouble. He just had to finish his schooling here and then he was free. His end of the deal with his dad would be complete and he could go back to where he belonged.

He blew out smoke and kicked a stray pebble, letting it fly down the sidewalk. He wasn't so sure what he was going to do. Overall, yeah, he knew. He was going to go back to America and create an amazing band with his best friends and they were going to live their dreams. He was going to carry on the Labelle entertaining theme with no problem. That was a family business he could handle. He had the talent for it, he had the skills, and he had the motivation, sometimes.

God, he hated being like this. He fiddled with his phone once his cigarette was gone, ignoring a missed call from Yuukio. Hikaru had called him last night, which threw him off a little but he chatted with him for a bit before complaining about being sleepy and hung up. He wasn't much in the mood to listen about how Hikaru was doing with Haruhi. He felt bad, but Hikaru had brushed Xavier off to spend time with Haruhi the last few days he was in Japan.

That was pathetic. Was he upset by that? What happened to him being angry when Hikaru chose him over Haruhi? Hikaru needed to work on dividing up his attention evenly. He couldn't smother Xavier with attention and affection and then stop. It threw him off and he didn't like it. He pulled his beanie down more, feeling a chill. Despite all the horrible shit that happened last night, he loved Berlin. He was so happy to be out of Japan, out from under Renge's and Monique's eyes, even if it was just for a few days. He needed this break from them.

"Xavier!" He heard Yuukio call from behind him. He was a little impressed that she willed herself out of bed. Yeah, it was a quarter to two, but she was pretty drunk last night. He wasn't sure if he wanted to stop and wait for her to catch up or keep walking. He decided to stop, because she most likely didn't remember what she said. "I can't believe you went out without me." She said once she caught up to him. If she was hungover, she hid it well.

"Crumpet, you were quite out of your mind last night." He started, glancing at her before he continued to walk. She stayed by his side, looking at him. "I knew you weren't going to be up and ready to go on with your day for a while so I went out by myself."

"Oh." She replied she nodded her head. She was feeling like maybe Xavier was angry at her, but last night was still blurry. She remembered bits and pieces and it was coming back to her slowly. "Have you already gotten lunch?"

"Yeah, sorry. I got hungry walking around. Took a cab, actually. He dropped me off somewhere south of here? I'm not sure but I made it my mission to make it back here, and I did." He didn't know why he did that, because that was really weird, but he did that in France and England and Italy and in Japan. Being lost was something that was somehow comforting to him.

He didn't say anymore and Yuukio knew she did something wrong. "Xavier, I'm sorry-"

"Crumpet, don't worry about it." He cut her off, shaking his head. "You don't even know what you're saying sorry for, do you?" He questioned and she shook her head. "Then don't bother saying sorry. Everything you said in your drunken rant were things I already knew. I'm quite sure everyone thinks that about me, you were just the first one to tell me." He wanted to hail another cab and start another adventure but leaving Yuukio here by herself wouldn't be right. "Do you want lunch?" He asked and she nodded her head. "Well then, come on."

* * *

Yuukio felt better after she ate, and she was able to hold it down unlike breakfast. Her memory was also coming back, piece by piece, a bit faster than before.

That's how she came to the conclusion that she was a terrible human being. She, in her drunken state, basically told Xavier that the last thing she wanted her sister to be was like him. That he was ruined.

How could she be so cruel?

It was no wonder that Xavier kept zoning out while she ate, or spacing out as they walked through a few shops. He blindly picked up items, not really looking at them, before he sat them back down. It was obvious he wasn't all there and Yuukio was to blame for it.

"Xavier, I truly am sorry for those nasty things I said. I don't know why I said them and they aren't true." Yuukio started, but there was some truth to what she said. She was scared that her sister might become like Xavier, but Xavier wasn't all bad. He was trying. It wasn't his fault that things got rough and he had no way of coping with it and was swept up into wrong choices. "I really am sorry."

"I said not to worry about it. It's not like you said anything that I didn't know." He set down the little toy he was looking at. "Just didn't know everyone could tell that I'm like that."

"I think I just know because I've known you for so long. The others….they don't think that of you." She rubbed her arm, ashamed of herself. "I am going to worry about it because I did wrong. I have no right to judge you like that and say those things."

"Yuukio, you aren't the first person to say things like that and I highly doubt you shall be the last. Your sister and I are under different circumstances so it's not very fair for you to assume she'll end up like me. You're not giving her much credit there." He muttered and fiddled with a tea cup that was on another shelf. "She's not nearly as bad as me. You're over reacting a little bit. She's just feeling trapped and pressured and needs to escape, or she's not getting the attention she needs, probably by your mother, so she acts out to get attention. She hates you because she gets compared to you, most likely on a daily basis. It's not your fault and she'll grow out of that once she finds her place."

"How do you….?" Yuukio trailed off, puzzled by what he was saying.

"I wasn't the only one in my group that had problems. You think my other mates tagged along with me just to party?" He questioned, glancing back at her. "We have all things we'd like to forget, crumpet. Now, Hikaru wants me to bring him back a present and I don't know what to get him."

"B-"

"Like I said, crumpet, we all have things we'd like to forget." He said it more firmly this time, looking at her. "Now, I got to find a gift for that little shit. If I return empty handed, I will never hear the end of it."


	25. It's This Tongue Of Mine

**I didn't intend for this story to have many chapters but hey it looks like it will BECAUSE I HAVE SO MUCH PLANNED**

**But I don't think yall will mind especially since many of those chapters are basically like this one**

**well like always, thank you for the reviews, favs, and follows! It's really important to hear feedback and a few of you have messaged me on here and on tumblr so I thank you very much! It's really nice to read your thoughts on the story because I'm always striving to make it better but I'm really happy to know you guys think it's great already. **

* * *

Xavier wasn't exactly thrilled to be back in Japan. He yanked his bag from the luggage carousal, and yanked Yuukio's as well. "Feels so great to be back." Yuukio smiled and Xavier shrugged, feeling like he should get on the next plane out of Japan. He didn't care where he went, as long as it went away from here. "You aren't happy to be back?"

"Not exactly." He complained, following her. "I'm hoping Renge and Mona will be off my case since I was gone for a few days."

"It'll be okay. The club will be so happy to see us, and Abby and Misaki will be happy to see you again. Cheer up." She nudged him and he smiled a little, thinking about how excited Abby was going to be. "Hikaru will be happy to see you again too. Kaoru said he's been crabby lately."

"Really? Figured he'd be up dove's arse." He grumbled, still a little bitter that Hikaru had brushed him off for Haruhi. "I understand that he's 'in love' or what have you with her, but he practically ignored me before I left for Berlin."

"You know Hikaru doesn't split his time up with people well. He's learning." Yuukio told him, chuckling at how Xavier was acting about it. "You jealous he's not paying any attention to you?"

"Ha, as if, crumpet." He rolled his eyes. Hikaru was probably with Haruhi now. "Is Kaoru waiting for you?"

"Well I told him what time we would be getting back. I don't know if he's going to be there. He might be tired from school today. Fridays are always filled with tests…" She mumbled and Xavier could tell she was really hoping Kaoru was there. He couldn't see any gingers waiting for them, and even though she was a little bit shorter than him, Yuukio could see he wasn't there either.

"I'm sure he'll want to spend tomorrow with you, crumpet." Xavier felt bad for her, but they had only been gone for four days. It wasn't like they had been gone for weeks.

"Yeah, and it's probably for the best. I need to get home and unpack and shower and try to make sure my sleep schedule isn't messed up." She said this more for herself as they got past the groups of people who were waiting for their loved ones. Xavier held the door open for her and she hurried out into the cold November air. He followed and hailed a cab for her.

"There you go, positive thoughts, crumpet." He opened the trunk and put her bags into it for her. "So go home and get everything done. He'll be wanting to see you tomorrow."

"Thanks." She said, squeezing his shoulder before she got into the cab. He shut the door and waved as the car zoomed off.

"Am I late?" Kaoru came running up to him, out of breath and red in the face. Xavier couldn't believe this. These two were…..urg.

"Yeah mate, she just shoved off." He nodded the direction the cab went. "I'm sure you can meet her back at her place and surprise her there." Kaoru nodded his head and took off the direction he had come from. Xavier watched him until he disappeared in a sea of people before hailing a cab for himself.

* * *

Xavier had gotten a maid to take all his dirty clothing and got his hot shower taken care of by the time he ran out of energy. He crashed onto his bed and sighed happily, having missed his bed. He settled in and started to drift off when his phone started to ring. He picked it up and groaned, hating everything.

"Hikaru, its 1:02 in the morning!" He growled when he answered the phone.

"Can I come over?" Hikaru questioned, surprised Xavier was angry at him. He called late before and the male was usually calm.

"What?" Xavier was sure he didn't hear him correctly. "Hikaru, do you know how late it is?"

"It's not that late. Come on, I'm bored." He grumbled. Nothing interesting was on tv and he couldn't fall asleep. He didn't see what the big deal was.

"I'm exhausted." Xavier told him, not understanding what was going through Hikaru's head right now. "It's one in the morning, I just got home from Berlin, and you want to come over…because you're bored?" This was idiotic. "Then go hang out with dove." He hung up the phone and turned it off, making sure Hikaru wouldn't be able to call him and wake him up again. "Fuckin' twat." He groaned and turned over, pulling his covers around him. How dare he call so late and want to come over because he was bored.

* * *

"Let me in!" Hikaru hollered, banging on Xavier's door. He was angry when Xavier hung up on him, but he couldn't sneak past the maids to go over and see him. He was sent back to bed and had to wait until morning to go out.

"What?" Xavier opened the door, looking disheveled. "Why are you so hell bent on not letting me sleep?" He questioned. Hikaru brushed past him into the room and turned around to see him close and lock the door again. "I am knackered out and need to sleep."

"You hung up and turned off your phone!" Hikaru exclaimed, angry.

"Yeah, because I was trying to sleep and you wanted to come over so I could entertain you." Xavier stumbled to his bed. "It's eight in the morning.." He looked at his phone with a heavy sigh. "Why aren't you out with dove helping her with chores or something?"

"Because I spent all week with her!" Hikaru replied, hands on his hips.

"Yeah, I know. You bloody brushed me off the days leading up to me leaving, you call me once while I'm there to talk about dove, and then you call me at one in the morning, demanding that you come over because you're bored." He ranted, frustrated.

"Well I'm supposed to be spending time with her." Hikaru didn't understand the problem.

"Yes, but I'm not a plaything you only mess with when you're bored or when dove is annoyed with you. I'm your best mate." Hikaru sat down on the bed when Xavier finished.

"I'm sorry." He started, crawling over to Xavier's spot on the bed. He got into his lap, resting his chin on his shoulder. "I wanted to call you more, but the others told me not to. They said you were busy and you didn't want to be bothered."

Xavier felt like his anger was melting away. Hikaru knew how to get what he wanted, even if it was someone's forgiveness. "I was wondering around Berlin and looking for a perfect present for you so I didn't have to hear your obnoxious whining if you didn't like what I got you."

"Well now I know I can call you!" He smiled after hearing the mention of a present. "You got me a present?"

"If I didn't you would complain." He muttered, pushing Hikaru off of him to get the present. "Try to split your time up with dove and I evenly, yeah? That's something you need to work on."

"I said sorry." Hikaru whined, really wanting his present. "Please give me the presentttttt!"

"You're so greedy." Xavier grabbed the present off of his desk and rolled his eyes at Hikaru's whines. He tossed it over and Hikaru caught it.

"Woah." He mumbled, looking at it. It was metal cuff that had the metro system of Berlin engraved on it. "This looks so cool!"

"Yeah, ya know." Xavier shrugged, walking back over to the bed. "I like maps and stuff like that." He got back in his spot as Hikaru put it on, running his finger over it. "Before you ask which way to go remember where you've been."

"What's that from?" Hikaru asked, keeping his eyes glued on the cuff. That phrase was too good for Xavier to have come up with on his own.

"All Time Low song." Xavier replied, happy Hikaru liked it so much.

"I love it!" He exclaimed and beamed. "It's so cool. Just my style too."

"Good. I was worried you might think it was ugly." Xavier was proud of himself for picking it out. Hikaru put his arms around Xavier's neck and sat in his lap again, getting comfy. "Are you happy now?" He questioned, his arms going around his waist.

"Yup." Hikaru grinned and leaned in, kissing him. Xavier took control of it immediately, pulling Hikaru closer. Everything felt much better as they kissed. He adjusted his legs, trying to get comfy.

"You okay?" Xavier broke away when he felt Hikaru adjusting himself. "Come here." He moved his legs and let Hikaru wrap his legs around his waist. "Better?"

"Much…" He leaned in again and kissed him. He ran his fingers through his hair as Xavier bit his lip and pressed his tongue into Hikaru's mouth. Hikaru moaned and pressed against Xavier more, needing to be closer to him. He had been craving Xavier since he left for Berlin.

Xavier had tried to let go what Yuukio had told him in her drunken rampage, but the words were in the back of his mind and he _needed_ to forget about them.

"Off." Xavier ordered, yanking at the shirt. His hands went to the bottom of Hikaru's shirt and pulled it off. He wanted to go further with Hikaru, but he didn't want to go too fast and scare him. He pulled off his own shirt, tossing it god knows where. He moved his mouth to suck at his neck and collar bone.

"Xavier." He heard Hikaru moan when he pinched one of his nipples. He smirked against his skin, biting lightly at it before moving his mouth downwards, sucking and biting as he went. Hikaru's eyes shot open when he felt Xavier's mouth on one of his nipples, sucking at it. "Z-Zave." He gasped. He hadn't felt anything like this before. This was far better than the usual fondling they did when they fooled around.

"You okay, love?" He questioned and Hikaru nodded his head. His whole body felt hot now and he blushed when Xavier moved his head back and smirked at him. "Tell me if you want me to stop." He captured his lips in another kiss and Hikaru ran his hands down Xavier's chest, feeling how fit he was. Xavier's mouth began to move south again, kissing Hikaru's jawline, before going down to his neck, collar bone, and then chest again. His tongue ran over one of Hikaru's nipples and chills when down the ginger's spine. Xavier was pleased by this reaction and the sigh that escaped Hikaru's mouth. He sucked at the nub, making Hikaru groan.

He moved his mouth to the other nipple, sucking at it much harder than the other and Hikaru's fingers tangled up in Xavier's hair.

"Do you two want breakfast?" Renge banged on the door and Xavier groaned.

"D-Don't." Hikaru said, panting. "Missed you." He kept his fingers in Xavier's hair, wanting him to continue his actions. "Need you."

"Fuck." Xavier sighed, extremely turned on now. "We're busy!" He called out to Renge, who left them alone. "You had me at 'don't', you little shit. You know my weakness." Hikaru grinned at him, proud of himself. "Where'd you learn how to pull that?"

"Mangaaaaaaaaa~!" Hikaru laughed when Xavier rolled his eyes.

"Of course." Xavier moved his head back up and kissed him quickly. "Then you should know what's next." Xavier said and captured Hikaru's lips in a rough kiss, hands settling on his waist again and keeping a firm hold on him. Hikaru eagerly opened his mouth when he felt Xavier bite at his lower lip and he whined when Xavier grinded against Hikaru.

Everything was getting too hot, even with his shirt off. Hikaru wanted to tug off his jeans, they were just in the way, and just be in his boxers, like Xavier was. Despite that, he couldn't pull his focus from Xavier's mouth. Xavier leaned forward and pushed Hikaru onto the bed, taking control of it. "You sitting on me made my legs fall asleep." Xavier complained, lips hovering above Hikaru's. He leaned down again and kissed him. Hikaru pulled him down more, whimpering when Xavier tugged at his bottom lip.

Hikaru felt Xavier's bulge grind against his and he moaned into the kiss, thrusting his hips up. One of Xavier's hands went down to Hikaru's hips, holding them down. Hikaru was going to protest, but Xavier pressed his tongue into his mouth and he forgot about it until Xavier grinded against him again. "Zave." He pulled away for air, looking up at Xavier. His hair was falling in his face and he was smirking at him.

"Yeah, love?" He questioned, going to nibble at Hikaru's ear. Hikaru ran his fingers through the shaved sides of his head. "You okay?"

"Y-Yeah." He nodded his head, catching his breath. He felt out of breath and hot but he didn't want to stop. He moaned again when he felt Xavier grind against him once more, still sucking at his neck. Hikaru tried to buck his hips up, but Xavier's hand kept him down and Xavier chuckled against his neck. Hikaru didn't know what to do and was completely out of his element.

Manga didn't prepare him for this. It didn't prepare him for how intense everything was and how much he wanted to grind against Xavier and it definitely didn't prepare him for how turned on he was by Xavier. The male was so dominate and he understood how Xavier felt when Hikaru made those noises.

Xavier lowered his hips, enjoying teasing Hikaru. He was so cute and inexperienced it made Xavier want to eat him up. He released his hand's hold on Hikaru's hip and used it to keep himself up. His mouth continued down his collar bone back to Hikaru's nipples, tongue running over one quickly. Hikaru gasped at the sudden feeling and tugged on Xavier's hair as the blond male began sucking on it roughly.

Hikaru felt his hips rise and his hard bulge rubbed against Xavier's. Xavier pushed his hips back down, looking up from his chest to smirk at Hikaru. "So eager, yeah?" He questioned and moved to his other nipple.

"Y-Yeah…" Hikaru panted, wondering how far they were going to go. He never got this far with Xavier. They just kissed and sometimes fondled. "Please…" He gasped, kneading his fingers through his hair more, tangling them up in the blond locks.

"Please what?" Xavier questioned, leaving Hikaru's chest and going to kiss up his jaw line, groaning as he felt Hikaru pull at his hair. He rutted himself against Hikaru, making the ginger moan. "Please do more of that? Please give you more friction?" He continued, knowing he was just making Hikaru hornier.

"Fuck." Hikaru cursed, wanting Xavier to rub against him faster. His mind was reeling right now and Xavier's voice was so low and rough and god was it_ hot_. "A-Ahh!" He moaned when Xavier picked up the pace of his hips. Xavier wanted to see Hikaru's face when he came, because he was sure it was going to be cute.

Hikaru was an extremely attractive guy, Xavier knew that. However, he wasn't expecting him to be this cute and submissive. He guessed it was because he was inexperienced and this was all new to him, which was fine by Xavier. "That feel better?" He questioned, nibbling lightly at his neck.

"God-yes." Hikaru felt the coiling in his stomach start. "Pants." He panted, needing them off. "Please!"

"Want your pants off, love?" Xavier pulled away, stopping his actions with his hips. He sat up some, looking down at Hikaru. His arms were now resting above his head and his chest and neck had red marks all over them from Xavier's mouth. He unbuttoned Hikaru's pants and pulled them down, relieving Hikaru of some pressure that was on his hard cock. Xavier decided to pull his pants all the way off and tossed them over his shoulder, leaving Hikaru in just his boxers.

He went back down and met Hikaru's eager mouth, already open for Xavier's tongue to enter it. Xavier groaned when he rubbed against Hikaru. It felt so much better to have the pants off.

"So good." Hikaru arched his back off the bed and put his arms around Xavier's neck again. He felt so relieved to have his pants off and he knew he was going to come soon. "I-I don't wanna cum in my boxers!" He felt embarrassed saying it.

"We can shower after." Xavier told him, keeping his pace up. "And I'll loan you a pair of boxers." Hikaru was eager for more, but Xavier wasn't going to rush any of it. He slowed down and grinded hard against Hikaru, making the ginger moan. Hikaru's hands moved to Xavier's back, running his nails down along his back and shoulders, digging in as Xavier kept up his pace.

"Gotta…" He started, feeling Xavier bite at his lips. He opened his mouth and let Xavier kiss him messily. He felt Xavier moan into his mouth as his ran his nails down Xavier's chest.

"You going to cum?" Xavier pulled away to ask this. Hikaru nodded his head, moaning. "Go on then, love, cum." Xavier murmured in his ears and that was it for Hikaru. He cried out and clung onto Xavier as he came hard. His eyes were squeezed shut and his mouth was open, moans coming out. Xavier grunted and came too, biting Hikaru's shoulder to suppress his moans.

"God…" Hikaru held onto Xavier as he came down from his climax. It was so much better than when he did it alone.

"How was that?" Xavier asked, catching his breath as he sat up. His hand went to Hikaru's bareback to support him, knowing he might be a little out of it.

"Good…" Hikaru panted, feeling sweaty and sticky in his boxers. He felt Xavier's hands on his back, rubbing it slowly. Xavier sat up fully now, letting Hikaru slump against him.

"Heh, you tired from that?" Xavier asked, teasing him. "Guess we'll have to work on your endurance."

"Don't tease." Hikaru complained, groaning. "I need to shower, please."

"C'mon." Xavier pulled him off the bed and over to the bathroom. He turned on the shower and leaned against the counter as the water heated up. "Gotta take this off." He told Hikaru, tapping the cuff Hikaru had kept on. He pouted, not wanting to take the gift off, but knowing he had to. He slid it off and set it on the white countertop.

"We're showering together?" Hikaru questioned and Xavier nodded his head, already pulling off his boxers. Hikaru wasn't shy, however he still felt awkward showering with Xavier, but he pulled down his dirty boxers and jumped into the shower, sighing happily when the warm water hit him. Xavier joined him and pulled the glass door shut.

"You can use whatever you want." Xavier told him, reaching past him to grab his shampoo. He put some in his hands and lathered it through his hair. Hikaru looked at the bottles, not sure which one to pick as Xavier rinsed it out of his hair and went for his conditioner. Hikaru quickly picked a bottle, Xavier chuckled when he squeezed it into his hand.

"What?" Hikaru asked, lathering it into his hair and scrubbing as Xavier put a little conditioner into his hair.

"Renge bought me that stuff. Smells like strawberries. I don't hate the smell but it was just not me." He told him, smelling the shampoo already. He was so happy this shower had the showerhead on the ceiling or taking a two person shower would be more difficult. "She picked out this shower too and I love it. It's like rainwater." He smiled and Hikaru laughed at what he said and rinsed the shampoo out of his hair before reaching for the conditioner.

"I like it." He stepped out of the way of the water, so his hair could sit in the conditioner. Xavier reached up and pushed it. It turned and shot the water towards one side of the shower. "That's cool."

"Love it." Xavier reached past him again and grabbed a washcloth and his body wash, putting some on the washcloth. "And I have this cool removable shower head too." He nodded towards the nozzle looking item hanging on the tile. He rubbed the washcloth over his chest and Hikaru was now able to full gawk at his chest. He was so fit and his abs were perfect but his eyes were mostly on the tattoo. It was on the right side of his chest and it was a beautiful phoenix with its wings spread out and flying upwards towards his shoulder. It wasn't huge, but it was beautiful. It was red and yellow and orange and bright.

Hikaru absent mindlessly reached for a washcloth behind him and squirted some bodywash on it, the strawberry one that matched the shampoo and conditioner, and began washing himself, still staring at the tattoo.

"Something wrong?" Xavier asked, catching Hikaru's staring. He looked down at his chest and realized Hikaru was staring at the tattoo. "Oh yeah, I love phoenixes. Beautiful creatures, yeah?" Hikaru nodded his head. "They burn up and are born new. I like that a lot." He tapped the shower head back into place and let the water fall on them as he continued to clean himself.

"I like it." Hikaru said and continued washing himself off, feeling so much better as the water continued to fall on him. "This is amazing."

"I know. I take forever long showers because of it." Xavier sighed, rinsing this hair and body off, letting the hot water hit him. Hikaru laughed at how his hair was flat against one side of his head, instead of pushed back or disheveled and spiked up. "The mohawk sort of loses its effect in water. Not has cool looking when it's flat against the side of my head, yeah?" He rubbed his scalp, feeling really good.

Hikaru smirked at him as he finished washing himself, both in really high spirits. "You know, I'm hungry." Hikaru complained, rubbing his stomach. Xavier shut the shower off and rolled his eyes at the male. He opened the shower door and grabbed a towel, tossing it to Hikaru before stepping out and getting his own towel.

"I told you we should eat." Xavier began drying himself off with the plush towel, shaking his head a bit. He pulled the towel and tightened it around his waist once he was dry. Hikaru pouted, his stomach growling. "I think what we did was more fun though." He went over to his counter and grabbed a bottle of hair product and squirted it into his palms and ran it through his hair while Hikaru finished drying off. "You need anything for your hair?"

"Ah, nope. It does its thing on its own." Hikaru ran his finger through it. "I was thinking about dying it."

"What color?" Xavier moved out of the bathroom and Hikaru followed closely. He opened his dresser and tossed a pair of boxers to Hikaru. "Dunno if those will fit, but they'll do." He put his own pair on and went to put the towel back in the bathroom to dry while Hikaru got into the boxers.

"Black I think." Hikaru replied, liking how soft his boxers were. "I don't know though."

"Think about it, but black would look good on you. If you decide to do it, I'll do it for you." He grinned from the bathroom and Hikaru heard the blow dryer start.

"Thanks! You blow dry your hair?" Hikaru asked, going back into the bathroom. He sat up on the long counter, putting his cuff back on as he watched Xavier blow dry his hair.

"Yeah, or it won't lay back how I like it. Pampering myself is an important part of my routine." Xavier explained, not sure if Hikaru would understand. He needed time to pamper himself, sometimes even days. Vinny called them 'self-love' days, but Xavier called them 'I hate myself and I don't want to do anything but showering and doing my hair and brushing my teeth somehow makes me feel better so let me spend all day doing it' days.

Hikaru watched him, amused at how into grooming himself Xavier was. He didn't seem like the type to care what he looked like, but it was probably a habit he got when he lived in France with the paparazzi following him everywhere.

He finished and brushed his hair back, making sure it was dry. "Want me to blow dry yours? You can't go downstairs with wet hair anyway. They'll notice." He said and Hikaru sighed. "Just sit on the counter and it'll be fine." Xavier told him and moved to stand in front of Hikaru. He put something in his hair and then started to blow dry.

Hikaru had to admit, it felt really nice. The hot air warmed his cold skin and feeling Xavier brush his hair was relaxing. All the stress that had built up the past few days was gone now. He smiled at Xavier, earning a small smile from the blond.


	26. You're The Best Man, So What's The Plan?

**I don't know how to dye hair black I only do blonde and blue hair so this is probably wrong but eh**

* * *

"I don't like this." Xavier complained, feeling awkward in the outfit. The theme for the club was….he wasn't sure? Traditional Japan? He didn't know but he was stuck in black and gray kimono and the whole club was decked out, making it look like a completely different place.

"The kimono looks good on you!" Abby cheered, sitting on the mat in front of him. He gave her a look as he lifted up his right hand that was completely engulfed in the sleeve. "It's so big on you, it's cute!"

"This is stupid. My sleeves are too big." He complained again. "I don't like traditional clothing. I'm into the western style. My grandparents always made me wear these when I visited them during the summer at their summer villa. They're too loose and it makes me uncomfortable."

"But the guests love it, so you will have to get used to it." Kyoya said as he walked by, earning a glare from the blond.

"Oh, Hikaru!" A guest of the twin's exclaimed when the ginger's kimono slipped off his shoulder. "Did someone bite you?" The bite mark was clear on his shoulder and Hikaru froze.

"Sorry about that." Xavier called and the whole club looked at him. "He stole the remote from me Saturday and I had to act." He explained and they all giggled, buying the story. Seems the other members believed it too, relieving both of them.

"He bit so hard too!" Hikaru whined, playing victim, making his guests 'awe'.

"Don't take my stuff." Xavier said with a shrug, his kimono slipping off his shoulders.

"Oh, gee, Xavier, what happened?" Abby's eyes were on the nail marks that started on his shoulder and ran down his back. "Looks like a cat attacked you."

"I had to retaliate." Hikaru smirked, proud he left a mark on Xavier. "He bit me so I had to attack him." The guests giggled again, finding it funny. Hikaru's guests crowded him to look at the bite mark, while Xavier rolled his eyes and pulled the kimono back up.

"I like the tattoo." Misaki said, catching a glimpse of the phoenix. Abby pouted and he pulled the kimono down on the right side so the first year could look at him.

"Oh wow!" She exclaimed in awe, eyes glued to it. "It's so beautiful!"

"Not as beautiful as you, love." He winked and pulled the kimono back on, trying to tightening it so it would stop slipping off his shoulders. "God these things are dreadful."

* * *

A week later, Xavier brushed past Renge and Monique and hurried up the stairs, getting into his room and locking the door before Renge could pester him further. He opened his laptop and logged onto it, opening up his skype and accepting an incoming video chat.

"What took you so long!?" A high pitched voice whined and the screen showed Stella, bright pink hair and all. Vinny was behind her and Isaac was in the background. "We can't wait to come visit you!"

"Sorry, the club ran over a bit today." He said, blaming the club as he pulled off his jacket and walked away from the view of the camera so he could change into something more comfortable. "I know, I can't wait either. Isaac, you'll have to sleep with Vinny and I unless Stella is okay sharing a bed with you. Monique is taking up one of the rooms.

"Oh yeah." Vinny grumbled, forgetting for a minute about Monique. "How is it going with her?"

"Terrible. Dinners and breakfasts are awkward so I skip those." He complained, lighting up a cigarette as Vinny began to tell him how important it was that he started a routine eating habit. Xavier took a long drag, letting Vinny give him helpful advice. Vinny always meant well, and Xavier couldn't get angry at him for it. "Not hungry." Xavier interjected, earning a sigh from Vinny.

"Are you trying, at least?" Vinny asked, his tone more serious.

"I eat bigger lunches." He felt like a child who was in trouble, but he needed someone to hold him accountable. He wasn't a fragile sensitive mess. He needed someone with a backbone that would ride his ass without being a total asshole about it. He was trying to do better. "Went jogging yesterday. Gotta keep the endurance up."

"Definitely or you won't be able to put on good shows." Stella came in now, taking the topic to a brighter mood. "Jackal has been talking to my dad about what record label we should aim for. He sent our EP to like, six different places. It's so nerve wracking to wait to hear what they think!"

"They'll love it." Isaac said from the back, always being the confident and relaxed on. "I'm not sharing a bed with you and Vinny. I'll sleep with Stella."

"That's fine." Stella said with a wave of her hand. "You think they'll like it?"

"Are you kidding me? 'Novocaine' will rock their world." Vinny told them with a positive grin. "Can't wait to see that notebook of yours, buddy."

"Ha, all the songs are going to be about this shitty place and how I hardly have friends because my demented cousin told everyone I'm insane." Xavier plopped down on his bed, cigarette in between his lips. He blew out smoke and held it, letting it burn out before putting it in his ashtray. "Now I know how Taylor Swift feels when she tries to get a boyfriend."

"But they were all so nice when we visited." Stella stated, furrowing her brows.

"You guys didn't go to classes with me or walk in the hallways with me. Everyone is terrified of me." He complained, feeling a bit down about it. "I don't really care if they're scared of me or not, and I don't care what they think about me." Some small part of him did care. "I have friends, but I know they always wonder if Renge is telling the truth. It's not like I do that much to defend myself, you know." Haruhi and Yuukio were probably the only ones that knew, one hundred percent, that he wasn't crazy, and maybe Hikaru too. John understood him too, but then again, John scared everyone else as well. Maybe Misaki was on his side? He wouldn't bet on it though.

"You'll be with us again soon." Vinny reminded him and it just made Xavier feel bitter. They were over there in California, together, while he was stuck here, battling his inner issues. Things were getting better, but it would be a long time before he could honestly say he was okay. "And we'll be there in a week to visit for a while. Maybe you could come over during Christmas break? You need to come over for New Years!"

"We'll definitely party it up and bring it the New Year!" Stella winked with excitement in her voice.

"Oh yes, I will be there with you three for that. I plan to have the time of my life then." He grinned at the thought.

"Before I forget, Tiffany asked about you…" Stella mumbled and Xavier tried to act normal, but he knew he might look a little pale. "I didn't know what to tell her exactly."

"What did she want?" He asked, tilting his head a little. He hadn't spoken to Tiffany since he left the states. "Did she and Anderson break up or something?"

"No, poor Anderson." Stella mumbled and shook her head. "She wanted to know if you were visiting anytime soon. I told her that I doubted it since your father has you on such a tight leash until you graduate."

"Good." He muttered as there was a knocking at his door. He glanced over at the door, wondering if he was in the mood to answer. "Hold on." He got up and went over to the door, unlocking it and opening it. Hikaru was there and nearly tackled him.

"Why'd you leave the club so fast?!" Hikaru whined while Xavier pushed the door shut with his foot and then stretched his arm to lock it.

"I had stuff to do, my whole life doesn't orbit around you, mate." He complained, wanting Hikaru off of him. He wasn't in the touchy feely mood today.

"Psh, the way you were eyeing me in the club today says otherwise, unless you just wanted in my pa-"

"Mate, I'm in the middle of a skype call." Xavier told him and Stella began to giggle.

"Hiya Hikaru!" Stella called and Hikaru went over to the laptop, his cheeks getting pink when he saw Xavier's friends and bandmates on the other side of the screen, waving at him.

"I didn't know you were talking to them. Should I leave…?" He questioned, glancing at Xavier

"It's fine, go roll around on the bed like you usual do. They have shit to do so the chat won't be too long." He said and Hikaru smiled brightly at him and he felt a smile on his own lips. Hikaru rolled to the other side of the bed and Xavier sat back down in his spot. "Anyway, yeah, I'll let you check out the notebook when you guys get here. I added more lyrics to one of them."

"Please tell me it's 'So Far'." Stella said. "I love that song! It's our most mellow one."

"How'd you know?" Xavier asked, grabbing the notebook from one of his drawers of his night stand and flipped through the pages of it. Hikaru saw the pages were filled with words and doodles. "Since Mona is here, I was able to kind of wrap it up." He stopped on one page and skimmed through it. "Added a little more piano and kind of a simple bass chord. This song is more up Isaac's alley."

"My favorite kinds are." Isaac was heard, though it was a little faint. He seemed to be working on something. "Scan me the music sheet and I'll check it out tonight."

"Got it." Xavier clicked the pen and he wrote a note to himself on his hand. "Okay, so, seriously, don't forget to sleep on the plane. The jet lag will kill you." He hated the time difference between California and Japan. It made talking to them tricky and everything was a hassle.

"We won't forget! Urg, Tiffany is calling me…" Stella grumbled and Xavier glanced away, catching Hikaru's eye.

"We'll let you go so you can hang with Hikaru. See you soon." Vinny said and ended the call.

"Do they know?" Hikaru asked, feeling embarrassed. He didn't want Xavier mad at him for it.

"'Course they know, its fine." Xavier shut the laptop and pushed it away. He wrote something down in the margins of the notebook and shut it before putting it back in the drawer it came from. "So what's up?"

"Can we dye my hair?" Hikaru questioned, stretching out towards Xavier on his bed like he owned the place. He rested his cheek on his thigh, yawning. "It's been bothering me the past few days. I don't know, I just need a change."

"Sure. I might have some hair dye somewhere in my bathroom. Give me a second." Xavier got up, causing Hikaru's face to land on the bed. He pouted as Xavier chuckled. Hikaru was such a dork. Xavier went through the cabinets in his bathroom, shuffling things around before pulling out a box of black hair dye. "Alright, get in here." He called and Hikaru rolled off the bed and went into the bathroom. Xavier nodded towards the tub, so Hikaru sat down in the edge of it

"How long will this take?" He asked and Xavier read the box for a time.

"Probably twenty minutes to properly get it all over your hair evenly and then you'll need to sit in it for another good thirty minutes…your hair is light." He mumbled and began pulling them things out of the box. "Why don't you get professionals to do it? I'm fine with doing it, but, I've only ever colored my own hair and this is color from a box you can get at a drug store." He started to mix the contents in the bowl he had under his sink and Hikaru could smell the chemicals. "Want to open the window?" Xavier questioned and nodded towards the small window in the bathroom. Hikaru opened it a little, just enough for fresh air to come in without it being too cold.

"I trust you with my hair." Hikaru said and saw Xavier's smirk.

"Good. Shirt off. "He said and Hikaru gave him a confused look. "Incase this stuff drips. I'm not using one of these expensive ass towels to protect your shirt." He said and looked over his shoulder at Hikaru. The male made a face, but pulled off his jacket and then his shirt, tossing them over to the counter.

"You take your shirt off too." Hikaru said with a smirk on his own lips. Xavier rolled his eyes and shook his head, picking up the bowl and a small brush that was used to color hair. "You might get dye on it." He teased, pulling at the shirt. It was an old band tea. It was faded and you could tell he wore it a lot. It was just a black shirt with a white, sort of glowy, white rectangle on it. "The dye might actually improve the shirt." Hikaru muttered and glanced up at Xavier. He put the bowl and brush on the counter near them and sighed, yanking the shirt off. He tossed it to where Hikaru threw his clothes.

"There. Happy now?" Xavier asked and Hikaru smirked, staring at his chest. He dug through one of the drawers and sighed. "Hold on, I need some clips for your hair." He left and Hikaru watched him go, staring at his ass in his tight skinny jeans. He heard the bedroom door open and heard Renge's protest when he barged into her room, where she and Monique were working on homework.

"Put a shirt on!" Renge shouted and he heard Monique groan.

"You actually got that tattoo?" She questioned and Xavier didn't reply as far as Hikaru could hear. He was back in the room, a loud slam from his door and the locking of it, let Hikaru know that.

"Back." He said with a few hair clips in his hand. He set them down on the counter and brushed through Hikaru's hair, pining it up and parting it to make it easier for him to dye the male's hair. "Got yelled at for these little fuckers."

"But it's for meeeeeeee!" Hikaru said and then squirmed when he felt the cold dye be put on his roots. He squeaked and this made Xavier chuckle.

"Don't move or you'll mess this up." Xavier chided and kept stroking the brush over his hair

"Who is Tiffany?" Hikaru asked, catching Xavier off. He continued doing Hikaru's hair, biting his lip. "Xavier?"

"Just some girl I messed around with in America. Not really anyone important." Xavier muttered, not wanting to talk about it. "Does your mom know you're doing this? Or is she going to kill me?"

Hikaru, for once, let Xavier change the topic and didn't pester him any further. He could see on his face he didn't want to talk about her. "She'll be fine with it. She'll love it knowing you did it. She thinks you're great. She wants you to come over for dinner again soon."

"Heh, for once, a parent who loves me." He joked, continuing to color his hair. "I'm happy to come over whenever she wants."

"Yeah, she thinks you are too skinny." Hikaru said and his fingers ghosted over Xavier's stomach, causing him to shiver. Xavier had muscle on him, not as much as Vinny, but he wasn't as lean as Hikaru. Still he had that, 'I don't eat enough' sort of look about him sometimes. It was mostly in his face, when he was tired and his dark circles showed.

"I eat plenty." Xavier told him, already hearing it from Vinny. "Has she seen you? You're thin too."

"I'm lean." Hikaru replied with a smirk, looking up at Xavier, who was shaking his head. "So, hey, you write songs?"

"Yeah. Kind of got to, you know. I'm in a band." Xavier said slowly and felt Hikaru pinch him for being sarcastic. "Mate, c'mon, I'm just taking a piss out ya. Vinny and Isaac and Stella write songs too, but, I guess I've got that teenage angst that helps create songs."

"Sing one for me!" Hikaru exclaimed as Xavier unpinned some of his hair and began to color it once more.

"I can't just sing one, mate." Xavier mumbled, wondering if he needed more black dye. "Hold on." He left with the box of dye, leaving Hikaru to stare at himself in the mirror, making faces at himself. "Sorry, I needed more dye." He told Hikaru when he returned a minute later, going back to coloring. "They better get the right box." He complained and continued. "But yeah, I don't sing on command."

"Please?" Hikaru asked, looking up at him with big eyes. "I like your voice." Hikaru was being truthful. Xavier's voice was literally music to his ears. It was powerful and sweetly haunting.

"Then how come when I start talking about music to complain that you find my voice annoying?" Xavier asked, almost done with one side of his head.

"That's because you start talking about chords and beats and lyrical meaning…." Hikaru muttered and stuck his tongue out. "Boring! Come on, sing for me. It doesn't have to be a song you wrote since you're so shy about it." Xavier went quiet for a minute or two, focusing on Hikaru's hair.

"I'm not shy about it." He grunted as someone knocked on his bedroom door. He left the bathroom again and returned a minute later with another box of hair dye. "Half of the songs have no melody to them." He began mixing up the contents into the bowl again so he could do the other half of the male's head. "They're just words with no chords or notes behind them. Maybe after the others visit they'll have some tune to them."

"Then sing any song." Hikaru continued to push for it, wanting to hear him sing. It had been a while since he sang last and Hikaru wanted to hear his voice.

"_When the lights go out, will you take me with you and carry all this broken bone? Through six years down in crowded rooms and highways I call home? Something I can't know 'til now. 'Til you pick me off the ground with a brick in hand, your lip-gloss smile, your scraped-up knees." _ He started and Hikaru watched him. Xavier focused in on starting to color the rest of Hikaru's hair. His gray eyes were honed in on what he was doing, but they were soft, like his lips. _"And if you stay I would even wait all night or until my heart explodes. How long? 'Til we find our way in the dark and out of harm. You can run away with me anytime you want." _

Hikaru sighed happily and relaxed, wanting to lean his head on Xavier's chest, but knowing he couldn't. He was starting to feel glad he turned Haruhi down to hang out. She wanted to see if he wanted to join her on her shopping trip, but he wanted to hang out with Xavier and get his hair done. Besides, if he came whenever she wanted, that would be boring.

"_Terrified of what I'd be as a kid from what I've seen. Every single day when people try and put the pieces back together. Just to smash them down. Turn my headphones up real loud. I don't think I need them now 'cause you stopped the noise. And if you stay I would even wait all night or until my heart explodes. How long? 'Til we find our way in the dark and out of harm, you can run away with me anytime you want." _

"_Don't walk away. Don't walk away. Don't walk away! 'Cause if you stay I would even wait all night or until my heart explodes. How long? Until we find our way in the dark and out of harm. You can run away with me, you can write it on your arm. You can run away with me…anytime you want."_

"There." Xavier finished and Hikaru looked at him. "What?" He asked, glancing down at him before looking back to his hair. "Not like the song? Everyone loves some My Chemical Romance."

"No, I really liked it." Hikaru told him. "Sing again."

"No." Xavier grumbled, finishing up the last touches on the air. "Okay, all done. Wait a second." He dug under the cabinet and grabbed a plastic bag from when he bought himself cigarettes last night. He wrapped it over Hikaru's hair so he wouldn't get dye everywhere. "Now, let's wait thirty minutes and see how this goes." He left the bathroom so Hikaru followed closely.

He hopped on the bed and turned on the tv, while Xavier went to scan a few sheets of music over to Isaac. Hikaru watched him intently, the tv just being background noise. Xavier was biting his lip, focusing in as he changed something on the music sheet. He scanned it and emailed it off and instantly got a reply from Isaac. He went over to his nightstand and pulled out what Hikaru assumed was his song notebook and went back over to his desk, where his laptop was plugged up to the scanner.

"Must be hard to be in a band when they're thousands of miles away." Hikaru said, catching Xavier's attention. His lip looked like it might be bleeding now after biting it so hard. "Is your lip bleeding?!"

"My lips were chapped anyway." He pulled out some chapstick and rolled it on his lips, not caring too much. "It's hard as hell, but it's all quite worth it." He tossed the chaptstick to his desk and continued what he was doing. "It helps a lot that Jackal is helping and knows what he's doing. He wants this just as much as I do."

"Why do you want it so much?"

"Don't you have dreams?" Xavier asked, glancing at Hikaru, a little surprised. "I've worked my arse off to get to this point and if I stop now, my dream won't ever come true. If my dad supported it, it would be easier, but, alas, he does not, so here I am, trying to make this work. Mother is supportive, which isn't too surprising, but her hands are a little tied."

"Why?"

"Because, I'm the git who made a horrible deal with my father." He hated himself so much for it. "I wanted to go to America so badly and he told me I could, only if he got to decide where I went to school a year after. I thought that maybe he'd see how much better I was doing, but all he saw were the few times….I got drunk and partied and so here I am. He's praying I'll straighten out and do what he wants, but, I'm not that easy." He shook his head and typed up a reply to Isaac.

"Oh." Hikaru mumbled, taking it all in. He hadn't thought too much about his future. He knew he, Kaoru, and Haruhi were discussing going to America for their final year. The Host Club would be no more, and Haruhi had applied for an amazing law school there. If she got in, the twins would be following her over. He kind of took his supportive parents for granted. Not everyone had the freedom to do what they wanted with their future.

"My fault. I was stupid and didn't think." Xavier sighed, plopping down in his computer chair. "But I wasn't in a good position and I needed to get out of there. I'd do it again in a heartbeat if it meant I got to have these three idiots for friends." He smiled at the picture of the four of them he had on his desk. "Hey now, don't go messing with your hair." He lectured when he saw Hikaru rub the back on his head.


	27. It's The Way We Are

**Thanks for so much for the reviews! They all mean a lot~!**

* * *

"Okay, time to check out your hair, mate." Xavier said with a yawn. He let Hikaru sit a little longer than thirty minutes, just in case. Hikaru whined, complaining that he was tired. "Get in there, take off your pants, and just wash your hair with the stuff in the packet I left in the shower."

"You aren't going to shower with me?" Hikaru asked, pouting as he leaned on the doorframe leading to the bathroom.

"No." Xavier replied, yawning again. "I'm going to take these dishes downstairs while you shower." He told Hikaru and got off the bed and went over to the tray of dishes on the floor. They had both gotten hungry while waiting for his hair to finish, so Xavier got them dinner. "Now go on. Rinse your hair fully and then use that stuff in the packet." He reminded Hikaru, who rolled his eyes and went into the shower.

He wanted Xavier in the shower with him so they could have some fun like they did on last Saturday, but Xavier shot him down. Maybe after his shower they could do it again? He hurried and stripped down and got into the shower, thoroughly washing his hair. He heard Xavier entered the room again and he sped up, eager.

Once he showered and emptied the packet on his head, then waited the correct time for it, he rinsed off and got out of the shower. He dried himself off and looked in the mirror, eyes widening. His hair was black and it looked so good on him. He checked it, making sure there were no missed spots, but Xavier did a perfect job. He grinned happily and pulled his boxers on, then reached for his shirt.

He hesitated, wondering if he wanted to wear his shirt, or Xavier's. He smirked and grabbed Xavier's shirt and pulled it on. It was a little big, but fit well. When he came out of the bathroom, he groaned, his excitement going away. Xavier was stretched out on the bed, looking to be asleep.

"Zavvvvvyyyyyy!" Hikaru whined, getting on the bed and crawling over to him.

"Tired." He grunted, feeling Hikaru press up against his side. "Sleep. I never get to sleep anymore."

"You sleep plenty." Hikaru complained, but Xavier didn't respond. Hikaru watched Xavier's bare chest rise and fall steadily and slowly and he soon found himself falling asleep.

* * *

"Get up!" Renge banged on the door and Hikaru startled awake, groaning into the side of Xavier's neck. The male was still asleep, one arm around Hikaru and the covers on the floor.

"Zave…" Hikaru muttered, not wanting to wake up.

"Unless you have whiskey or a blow job, I'm not getting up." Xavier declared and Hikaru sat up. Xavier groaned and turned his head, still half asleep. Hikaru smirked and ran his fingers down Xavier's chest.

"I don't know where you keep your whiskey but the blow job I can do." Hikaru was pretty sure he couldn't actually do a blow job, but Xavier was up immediately, eyes wide open. Hikaru's hands stopped on the waistband on Xavier's boxers.

"The fuck?" Xavier asked while Hikaru kept the smirk on his face.

"You said unless I had whiskey or a blow job you weren't going to get up." Hikaru said and Xavier shot him a look. "I would've preferred last night but you were asleep."

"And you're wearing my shirt?" Xavier questioned, a little turned on right now. Hikaru looked so cute in his shirt and boxers with his hands on his waistband. "Hm." He mumbled and pulled Hikaru onto his lap. "You are extremely tempting." He said against Hikaru's neck and then smirked, pushing Hikaru off of him. "But we have school." He got out of the bed, leaving Hikaru there.

"You're a tease!" Hikaru exclaimed while Xavier looked in his closest for his uniform.

"We'll continue that later." Xavier winked and Hikaru shut up about it, knowing Xavier was good for his word.

"Deal. Now, let me borrow a uniform." He got up and joined Xavier, whose brows were now furrowed.

"Apparently I don't have any uniforms left." Xavier muttered, not even seeing the one he had thrown on the ground the day before. Great start to a Wednesday. "Oh fuck, I left the damn door unlocked!" He exclaimed, turning and glaring at his door. "Bloody maid came and took my uniforms!"

"I guess we'll just have to wear normal clothing." Hikaru mumbled, going into the bathroom to get his jeans and jacket. He kept Xavier's shirt on though, because he knew Xavier liked seeing him in it.

"Can we do that?" Xavier never bothered to read the student handbook. He just knew he had these uniforms in his closest one day.

"Yeah, you can. I've done it before when the dry cleaners caught on fire. It was awful." He complained and came back out of the backroom.

"Sweet." Xavier grinned and pulled on the black skinny jeans that were on the floor. They were ripped in the knees, but he didn't care. He pulled out a band long sleeve shirt and his leather jacket, before going into the bathroom to do his hair. "Are you going to wear that shirt? It's paper thin. You're going to be freezing."

"I got my own jacket." He said but his jacket wasn't very warm either. Xavier looked at him when Hikaru came into the bathroom.

"I'll give you my hoodie to use." Xavier told him while he styled his hair back and glanced at Hikaru's hair. "I really hate how you don't have to style it or blow it dry and it looks good." He muttered, a little jealous. "It's like you're an anime character or something…"

* * *

Xavier felt far more comfortable in his clothes than he ever did in his school uniform. He got plenty of stares throughout the day but he didn't care too much. He winked at Hikaru when he brushed by him in the hallway before their break. Hikaru immediately followed after him, saying a mindless goodbye to whoever he was speaking to. His was thinking more with his dick than his brain at the moment.

"You know, that hair looks pretty good on you." Xavier smirked, holding the library door open for him. Once in, Xavier followed him closely up the stairs.

"Oh, hey guys!" Haruhi greeted them and they both froze when she came out of the aisle they were about to go into. "You need books from here?"

"No, dove, we just saw you dart down this aisle and wanted to give you a fright." Xavier lied, putting him arm around her and chuckling. "What book did you need? No one ever uses that aisle…."

"Ah, just some light reading. I wanted to check it out." She led them back to their table. "Yeah, there's a few aisles no one ever uses….I found a couple in one the other day." She muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Hehe, be careful then, dove. Best to leave those aisles alone." Xavier told her as she settled down at the table. "Which reminds me, I've got a project to go research. You want to come, Hikaru, or will you keep dove company?" Xavier wasn't sure what Hikaru wanted to do. Since Haruhi was now here, he might want to spend time with her.

"I'll help you." Hikaru declared, smiling at Haruhi before looping his arm through Xavier's. "Prepare for lots of attention from me during the club though, Haruhi!" He smirked and she shot him a look.

"Mate you are quite charming." Xavier said sarcastically but pulled Hikaru off. Picking an aisle became a difficult task, but Xavier chose one in a darker corner of the library. "You sure you don't want to be with dove?"

"No." Hikaru mumbled and dropped his bag, putting his arms around Xavier's neck. "She'll just ignore me and read, and this is much more fun."

"I'm not complaining." Xavier pushed his bag to the side and pinned Hikaru against the wall in the far end of the aisle. Messing around in he or Hikaru's room was fun, but Xavier always liked the danger of getting caught. He lips quickly found Hikaru's and Hikaru's fingers were soon tangled up in Xavier's hair.

* * *

"There you two are." Haruhi muttered when Xavier and Hikaru rolled into the club a little late. Time had slipped past them while they were in the library.

"Sorry, I got into this book I was reading." Xavier said, hoping it was enough to excuse them. All they really did was make out. He would've loved to have gone further but Hikaru wasn't ready for that sort of thing at school. He was surprised how calm Hikaru had been around what happened the weekend before last.

"Hikaru, your hair looks so good!" Hikaru was dragged away by guests who were eager to see his new hair. Everyone seemed to love it, while Kaoru was upset Hikaru didn't tell him he was getting it done, he loved it too. Xavier was quite proud of his work and he plopped down on his couch, stretching his legs out and yawning.

"Where is your uniform?" Misaki asked and glanced at Hikaru. "Isn't that your hoodie?" The second she asked this, every quest quietened and stared at the two.

"He came over so I could dye his hair and he spent the night. Maid took all my uniforms so we have to be creative. I didn't know I didn't have to wear a uniform." He explained. "I'm not wearing the uniform anymore. I'm so comfortable like this."

"It suits you." Haruhi could tell how much better Xavier felt in his clothes. The little things mattered to him and he felt comfortable. "So when are Vinny and the others coming in?"

"Soon! Like, a few days soon!" He exclaimed with a huge smile, all the guests giggling at him.

"Where will they stay?" Renge asked and he wanted to ignore her.

"Uh, with us. Vinny is bucking with me and Stella and Isaac are taking the guest room since Mona has hogged up the extra room." He said and waved his hand, meaning he was done with this conversation. "I'm so excited for it!"

"We should have another party!" Tamaki exclaimed and the guests cheered and began talking excitedly about it. "How much fun would that be?"

"Long as we get to play, I'm down." Xavier told him, making him smile.

"We're throwing a party then!" Tamaki declared with Kyoya rolled his eyes, already flipping open his phone to start planning it. "Next Friday!"

* * *

"Love, what's wrong?" Xavier asked a little later during the club. Abby had come in late, her eyes red and puffy.

"M-My boyfriend!" She whined, sitting next to him. His arm went around her instantly, not wanting her to cry. "I caught him cheating on me, so I dumped him of course. Urg! I hate him and that girl he was with! She's going to get it!"

"Ah, love, I'm sorry he did that, but, shouldn't you focus all your hateful energy on him?" Xavier felt like he was under fire with how angry she looked. "Why hate her?"

"Because, she was sleeping with him!"

"Was she doing it to hurt you purposely?" He asked, catching the others' attention. "Because, maybe she thought he loved her, maybe he was using her, maybe she did know he had you, but he kept telling her that he was going to leave you for her." He explained and her expression softened.

"I…I didn't even consider all of that." She mumbled, calming down a little.

"I don't like to admit it, but I've been the one that people cheat with." He admitted, a little embarrassed about it now. Usually, he didn't care. Those were always more fun, but the guilt was strong. "One time, I got into something serious with this girl back in America. She had a boyfriend and everything and at first I was honestly just doing it for the sex." He told her, shrugging. "Then shit happened and she got more aggressive with everything. It was a total mess."

"Did her boyfriend find out?"

"Of course not."

"What happened?" Abby continued to ask and he thought about it.

"I got a song about that." He told her and reached for his guitar he kept near the couch. "Want to hear it?"

"Yes!" She exclaimed, excited. He tuned it and strummed it a bit, tilting his head. He felt so open and exposed about this, but Abby needed some help.

He started playing, making everyone quiet.

"_And this is how it starts. You take your shoes off in the back of my van. My shirt looks so good when it's just hanging off your back. And she said use your hands and my spare time. We've got one thing in common it's this tongue of mine. She's got a boyfriend anyway." _His voice was quiet and soft.

"_I loved your friend when I saw his film. He's got a funny face but I like that 'cause he still looks cool. She's got a boyfriend anyway. She's got a boyfriend anyway. Now we're on the bed in my room and I'm about to fill his shoes. But you say no. You say no. Does he take care of you or could I easily fill his shoes? But you say no. You say no."_ Hikaru watched him, seeing Xavier's mood drop and he got a lost look in his eyes, like he was remembering something painful. _"And I'm not trying to stop you love. If we're gonna do anything we might as well just fuck."_

"_She's got a boyfriend anyway. She's got a boyfriend anyway. You've got your tongue pierced anyway. You're in your high tops any day. You're in your skinny jeans anyway. You and your fit friends anyway. I'd take them all out any day. They've all got backcombs anyway. You've all got boyfriends anyway."_ He finished to the quiet clapping of the guests. He seemed to snap out of his memories and he felt sick.

His heart hurt and he could feel Hikaru and Mona's eyes on him. He glanced up and around and he was right.

"Who was that about?" Mona asked, her voice icy. She knew it wasn't about her.

"Just a girl!" He sighed and smiled at Abby. "So, you get me? All your hatred should be focused on that bastard. Want my mates and I to get him?"

"No, I'll take the highroad." She decided, feeling so much better. "Thank you, Xavier."

"Anything for you, love." He told her with a smile that made her heart melt. He wished his heart was melting but it was more like cracking. "Hey, yo Tamaki?" He questioned, grabbing the other blonde's attention. "You mind if I skip clean up today? I've gotta make sure my room isn't a total wreck for the mates and I'm not letting a maid into my room again."

"That's fine!" Tamaki was just happy that Xavier was on board for the party.

* * *

Xavier was out of the club before Haruhi or Hikaru, even Yuukio, could talk to him. He did it on purpose. Diving out on club early was something he did, but he seemed like it was life or death to get out of there. Monique was angry and almost broke a set of tea cups when she saw him run out without saying goodbye.

When Hikaru called him later, it went to voicemail. An hour later Xavier texted him, asking what he wanted because he hadn't heard his phone go off. Hikaru asked if he could come over, but Xavier told him no. Monique was angry with him and the tension in the house between them was getting to extreme heights. Hikaru offered up his place to Xavier, but he was rejected again.

He pouted and tossed his phone onto the coffee table and curled up on the couch, sighing through his nose.

He didn't know what to do about Xavier. Things were getting cloudy and it was hard to give him a label. Was he a best friend? What he just someone to sleep with?

Hikaru rolled his eyes. Xavier was his best friend, one that he casually fooled around with. It wasn't complicated, but sometimes when things were hot and Xavier's mouth and hands were all over him, he wasn't sure. He was sure that he wanted Xavier's mouth and hands all over him. That was the one thing he knew, however, was that it? He found himself wanting to spend more time with him than with Haruhi lately. He brushed it off.

He was over thinking it all. This was probably what Friends with Benefits was supposed to feel like and now he knew why Xavier wasn't eager to start it. It was confusing and he didn't know if he wanted to see Xavier because he wanted to see his friend or if he wanted to get off. He groaned, imagining what happened in the library today.

Xavier was so ridiculous! He said he didn't want to do this, but he was obviously into it. He knew just want to say to get Hikaru to whimper and whine, even without touching him. Hikaru blamed it on the accent. Accents always made dirty talk far hotter. He felt his pants tighten and he got up, stripping clothes as he made his way to his bathroom.

He tried to think of something else while the water in the shower heated up but his mind kept going back to Xavier whispering lewd things in his ear while he pressed him against the library wall. He got in the shower quickly, trying to distract himself by washing his hair and his body, but his mind kept drifting.

He really wanted to take another shower with Xavier, but mostly he wanted to be pressed up against the wall with Xavier grinding against him, this time no clothes in the way. He wrapped his hand around his hard shaft and began pumping slowly, squeezing his eyes shut as he stood under the water. "A-Ah.." He moaned lightly, thinking of Xavier's mouth nibbling his ear, his hand gripping Hikaru as he pumped him slowly.

All he could hear was Xavier's low voice, almost a whisper, asking Hikaru if it felt good. "Yeah…" He picked up his pace, biting his lip. Xavier's voice kept talking into his ear, pressing him against the shower wall and grinding into him, pressing their cocks together. Hikaru's breath hitched when he imagined Xavier calling him love and asking him if he was close. Hikaru nodded his head to himself, moaning against the shower tile. He pressed himself against the tile, thrusting into his hand now.

Xavier was asking him if he wanted to cum and he whined, mouth opening as moans tumbled out. "Oh god." Hikaru grunted when he heard Xavier tell him to cum. He stiffened against the tile and came into his hand, panting. He stayed there a few moments, catching his breath and coming down from his high.

Did he really just masturbate to Xavier? He had never done that before, but he came so fast, far faster than when he imagined Haruhi. He had no clue what it meant, but he chalked it up to him actually having sexual relations with Xavier, while he had zero with Haruhi. He stepped back under the water, letting it run all over him while he finished up his shower.

When he was finally done and dried off properly, he wondered out into his room again, plopping down on the couch and checking his phone. No messages from Xavier, but he had one from Haruhi, and that was good enough.


	28. I Was Late, But I Arrived

**Yes I did take the depression quote from tumblr**

"Hey, you okay?" Hikaru asked, fingers looping through one of the belt loops of Xavier's skinny jeans. He had finally caught up with him in the hallway and was walking beside him, making sure his fingers had a firm hold on him.

"Ah yeah, last night was just rough with them. I came home and Monique was on bitch alert." He complained, glancing down at Hikaru. He hadn't wanted to come to school, but he needed to. Sitting in his room alone wasn't a good way to make him feel better, even if he felt like he was wearing thin again.

"You look like you didn't sleep well." Haruhi joined them, catching on to their conversation with ease.

"Some people just normally look like they haven't slept in weeks. I am one of those people." He told them, starting to feel a little frustrated. Maybe he shouldn't have come to school today? It was a rough day. He shouldn't have come. He his head and eye felt heavy when they went into the library. He didn't want to sit there and listen to Haruhi and Hikaru talk, so he excused himself, claiming he had a project to research and walked off, darting down an aisle of books. He settled against one side of shelving and yawned, wrapping his arms around himself.

He fell asleep and when he woke up, he didn't want to get up. "Fuck my life." He complained when he checked his phone. He was late to the club. He got up, stretching slowly, before heading out of the empty library.

He had been late multiple times before, so he knew he was in trouble. He pushed the club doors open slowly, peeking in before entering.

"There you are!" Renge chimed and he cringed at her high pitch voice. "Where were you?!"

"I was late, but I arrived." He muttered, heading towards his couch. Haruhi looked at him, tilting her head. "Sorry, I was tired and fell asleep."

"You're always tired." Monique complained, sitting at the table near his couch.

"And you're always a bitch." He snapped icily, not in the mood for her bullshit. He narrowed his eyes at her and she did the same, the two entering a staring contest. He broke it when Abby sat down next to him. "Hey there, love." He greeted her, forcing a small smile on his face.

"Hey!" She smiled back, not sure what else to do. Misaki joined them and it was clear Xavier wasn't in the mood. They were used to his mood changes, so they were both hoping his mood would improve, but it didn't seem to be going that way.

"What's wrong with him?" Tamaki whispered, huddling the group members together, glancing at Xavier and the dark cloud hovering above him.

"Senpai, he's not feeling well." Haruhi wanted to help Xavier, but trying to get him to open up in this mood would prove difficult. "He's sick." She didn't think he'd understand what kind of sick he was. "Sometimes he has really bad days that are rough on him. He can't help it. You guys just need to give him space. His friends are coming in soon so they'll handle this."

"We're his friends too." Hikaru grumbled, frustrated with how she was speaking to them. He was better friends with Xavier, he knew what he should and shouldn't do. How dare she act high and mighty?

"I knew you two are really close, Hikaru, but, getting up in his business will further annoy him." Haruhi said and Hikaru bit his tongue, holding in what he wanted to say. He shouldn't be angry with Haruhi.

"He'll be fine. Over dramatic." Monique muttered from her table, legs crossed. Xavier had been getting so far under her skin and she felt like exploding. Who the hell was that girl he sang about? It wasn't her!

"_Success has its price and can you hear me now that I'm dumbing myself down? Am I filling you with doubt that I am who you thought? 'Cause I know it's just a game but I'm playing it to win. I won't forget from where I came but it's time to take over. Oh yeah."_ Xavier sang softly, strumming slowly on his guitar. _"And can you hear me now. Someone save me from the sound of my own voice. Can't you tell that I sound like I'm dying? Oh yeah.."_

He did sound like he was dying. His voice wasn't bad, but you could tell something was seriously wrong.

"_I'm tired of waiting. Yeah, I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of being the poor, cliché, misunderstood. Tired of waiting. Yeah, I'm tired of waiting. It's time to get faded 'cause I can't think anymore."_ He stopped abruptly, the song over.

* * *

"You aren't leaving early again, are you?" Renge questioned when Xavier grabbed his things from the closet and looked like he was going to skip out on cleaning again. All the guests were gone, so he was trapped.

"Renge." He started with a defeated sigh, wishing she would understand how shitty he felt. "Can you please not? Come on."

"It's not fair that you get to skip on cleaning." Monique muttered and this riled him up. The two had been butting heads constantly lately and he was getting to a breaking point. "But fine, leave like you always do when things get tough."

"The hell is that supposed to me?" He asked, stomping towards her.

"What do you think it means?" She replied, standing and putting her hands on her hips. "I bet you told them all that I'm insane, right?" She asked and looked at the club members. "Do you guys want to know how he broke up with me?"

"Monique." He interjected, glancing at the others before looking to his ex.

"No!" She replied, cheeks red. "So it's late at night in May. Classes had just ended and I was getting ready to go back to France with him, or so I thought." She started and Xavier looked like he wanted to run. "Then there's knocking on my door, and it's him. He tells me it's just not working out and he wants to break up! So of course I try to figure out why but he keeps saying he's done with it and he doesn't want to talk about it anymore. When I start crying, he leaves. He just walks off down the hallway of my dorm."

Everyone stayed quiet and Xavier avoided their eyes.

"So I call Renge and I calm down and decide to go over to his dorm the next day. He sort of smelled like whiskey, which I realize now is normal for him, but I figured he might have been drunk and we've gone through this break up a few times before. I wake up and go over to his dorm, only to find all his things gone. His roommate tells me he's in America on this music program and that he won't be back for another year. ANOTHER YEAR!" She exclaimed, glaring at him and the club members stared at him with wide eyes. "He broke up with me and ran off to another country so he wouldn't have to deal with the outcomes!"

"You know that's not why I did it!" Xavier shouted back, feeling like he was trapped in a corner. He had to defend himself! "It wasn't bloody working and you knew it. You were forcing yourself on me and you were getting frustrated that I wasn't changing!"

"That's not it at all! You were supposed to be my prince charming!" She looked like she wanted to cry now. She had obviously been holding this in, they both were.

"I wasn't supposed to be anything but Renge's fucked up older cousin!" He wasn't going to let her play victim. "How dare you paint me up like I'm supposed to bloody ride in on a white stallion and rescue you when I couldn't even help myself." He said, turning into a calm rage. "How dare you stand here and play victim when I was the one suffering the whole time? Do you even know what I was going through? Or do you like to pretend you tried to save me but I was a lost cause?"

"Xavier!"

"No!" He growled, frustrated. "That's not fucking fair, Monique. I didn't want to date you, you talked me into it, I didn't want to be with you forever, I didn't want to marry you, for fuck's sake, Monique, I didn't even love you! That was my dad's family talking, not me. I tried god dammit, I bloody tried! " Xavier knew that was going to hit her hard, but he didn't care at this point. "Do you realize how big of a mess I was? Do you realize how every time you tried to turn me into a 'project' it just hurt me more? How would you like it if I tried to change every aspect of you? That you knew you were fucked up, but I was just pushing and pushing you closer to the edge?" He felt like his face was on fire now and he couldn't seem to stop himself. "Do you have any idea of what the fuck is going on in my brain? I'm bloody depressed and I can't help it! You knew it, you knew I wasn't okay, but who cares, yeah?" He questioned, throwing his hands up. "Depression is just some stupid little illness that I have complete control of, I'm just too lazy to get rid of it."

"B-"

"Depression is not Lana Del Rey music, with smeared black eyeliner and tears running down your face, Monique. Depression is not the dread you feel when the person you love the most doesn't text you back. Depression is disgusting. It is low and filthy and dirty and it eats you away, bit by bit. It is the darkest kind of dark, the kind that intoxicates your brain and turns your best friends to enemies, your family to people you simply push away so they don't have to hurt just because you do. It is the raw feeling of emptiness, the kind that gnaws at your very insides and leaves you nothing more than a walking skeleton, incapacitated and incapable of feeling anything but sorrow and sadness for nobody but yourself." He ranted, not being able to stop. "Depression is not rain. It is being unable to see the sun, even after the rain has passed." Xavier felt like falling apart as he finished. He saw their faces and how they looked at him, like they pitied him, they felt sorry for him. He needed to leave. He needed to go get drunk and try to forget about everything that just happened.

"Xavier…" This was Haruhi's voice now, ringing loudly in his ears. She sounded so soft and gentle and like she cared and he wanted to go to her and be comforted but something pulled him back.

"I'm leaving." He stated and grabbed his things, rushing out of the club room.

* * *

"Is he okay?" Hikaru asked Renge in club the next day. Understandably, Xavier hadn't shown up for school. He hadn't replied to Hikaru's calls or texts and he was panicked. He had to relax though.

"I don't know." Renge sighed, rubbing her temples. "I didn't bother him when we got home. I sent a maid up to make sure he was, you know, alive. That's always a worry with him." She said and Hikaru's eyes got wide. How could she say that so easily? "He seemed to be fine, but he didn't want to eat, so we left him alone. He didn't respond when I knocked on his door, figured he was sleeping."

"Won't Vinny and the others be arriving today?" Haruhi asked, startling Hikaru as she came up behind him. She put her hand on his arm, comforting him. He should be more focused on her, but he was thinking of Xavier. "He'll be okay. He's always better with them. It's like he's another person." She said this more to Hikaru, knowing he was worried. "Don't worry about it, Hikaru."

"I-I'm not worried." He flushed, embarrassed. He didn't want them catching on.

"You sure? Well, I was going to see him after school. If you aren't worried, I suppose you don't want to join me…" She smirked when she saw him falter.

"I'm coming!" He exclaimed without a second thought, needing to see Xavier.

* * *

The entire club ended up coming, much to Yuukio's protest and Haruhi's displeasure. Xavier didn't need to be crowded like this.

"Hey, Xavier, open up." Yuukio she with a gentle knock on his door. It opened instantly, but it wasn't Xavier. "Oh, Vinny?"

"Hey, sorry, I'm not Xavier." He answered, standing there like this was normal. He glanced behind him into the room before coming out, shutting the door behind him. "We came in this morning and we sort of found him a complete mess."

"He's okay?" Hikaru asked, catching a few looks but ignoring them.

"He just relapsed a little." Vinny said with a nod, bringing some relief to Hikaru. "Got himself pretty drunk last night. I don't think I remember the last time he got fully drunk." Vinny admitted, running his fingers through his short brown hair. "I don't know what you all did to him yesterday but it messed him up. Seriously. What the fuck happened?" Vinny's tone darkened and he looked pissed. He was usually very bright and positive, but right now it looked like he wanted to skin them. His protective instinct was kicking in. He looked at Hikaru, like he might be the one to blame, before his eyes moved over to Monique.

When he wasn't getting an answer, he crossed his arms and sighed. "Look, you can't work him up like this anymore. He's not a play thing. He's not an experiment. He's trying to unlearn nasty habits and deal with his problems in a healthy way. His progress is slow, but he's trying. That's the best he can do right now in this environment."

Stella trotted up the stairs now with a tray with food and snacks and drinks on it. She looked at them, shooting Monique a dirty look, before pushing past them to the door. Vinny opened it for her before looking at them. "He'll be back in school Monday." Vinny said and went back into the room, locking the door behind him.


	29. I'm Not Scared

**I have a lot planned for the next few chapters and they're going to be filled with drama so I hope you like it!**

**Sorry if I'm focusing on Xavier more this go round, but this story is mostly about him. Really, what happens to him kinda of causes a ripple effect to the others, and vice versa. Issues with others will come up in later chapters, as they just don't really fit at the present time.**

**I love reviews so thank you for all those who review! They really help me improve this story and I appreciate you for taking the time to leave one!**

* * *

Xavier was back in school Monday, looking to be okay. He didn't mention Thursday's incident, nor what happened Friday or that weekend. He wasn't that talkative at all, but Hikaru managed to pull him down an empty aisle in the library.

"You feeling okay?" Hikaru asked, looking up at Xavier.

"I'm fine, mate. I had a tiny meltdown. It happens." Xavier muttered, not in the mood to talk. He had talked all weekend. He was sick of it. He didn't want to think about what happened. His hands absent mindedly reached for Hikaru's waist, pulling him against his chest.

"It shouldn't." Hikaru felt Xavier's hands tighten on him. "You can talk to me about these things, Xavier."

"Yeah yeah." Xavier brushed it off, leaning down and pressing his lips to Hikaru's neck, not wanting to talk anymore. "I know." He felt Hikaru relax against him, hopefully meaning he wouldn't continue to press the subject.

"But…" Hikaru started, trying not to get distracted.

"Love, I'd rather not talk about it right now." He whispered into Hikaru's ear, making the male shiver. He roughly pressed a kiss to Hikaru's mouth, relieved when the male kissed him back and ended the conversation.

* * *

"So, Yuukio…" Vinny mumbled, walking over to her table during the club time. Xavier was on his couch, Stella and Isaac were with him, chatting happily with Misaki and Abby. "How is he doing?"

This caught Haruhi and Hikaru's attention.

"Okay….I admit I messed up in Berlin." She sighed, cupping her hands around her tea cup. Vinny took the seat across from her, smiling at Haruhi when she handed him some tea. "I apologized profusely for the things I said while I was…under the influence." She was so embarrassed by this.

"It's okay. We all got problems." Vinny told her reassuringly, making her feel better. "Xavier knows you're under stress from your family."

"I think Monique pushed his progress back the most." Haruhi joined in, taking the other seat. "He's been trying to keep it together. Hikaru, you two spend a lot of time together, don't you?"

"Uh…" Hikaru flushed, adjusting his collar that was still messed up from the library. Vinny raised his eyebrows knowingly. "Yeah, I do. Not like he tells me anything…" He muttered, glancing away. "I'm sure he tells you more." This made him a little angry. He wanted Xavier to tell him everything. "Just that he wants to go to America but his dad won't let him and then….that rant he did Thursday."

"Oh. You two disappeared in the library today for your history project so I just assumed he might have mentioned something." Haruhi said and Vinny smirked as Hikaru's face got redder. "Is he doing okay? I'm really glad you three showed up when you did. I don't think he would have let us in his room at all…"

"Xavier's something you got to work at. It's not like I met him and he suddenly opened up." Vinny told the three, patting the fourth seat for Hikaru. Hikaru quickly sat down, feeling included. "Stella met them first. Isaac was in the music program that our school in America does with their old school in England. Since he was already planning to come over, he got paired up with us and started video chatting with us. We met Xavier when he crashed in Isaac's dorm." Vinny explained. "Isaac had a dorm to himself, Mona didn't know that Xavier was that good of friends with Isaac, so Xavier crashed there constantly, mostly drunk."

"Lovely first impression." Yuukio muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Ah, Isaac kind of let us in on why. Soon, Xavier was joining in the chat and we all kind of clicked, you know?" He questioned, not sure if they understood. "Sometimes you find people and you all click. It also helped music was our passion and we all wanted to be in a band and we got Xavier to join the program and talked them into letting him get paired up with me so we all stayed together. I was really happy he was getting out of there and under his dad's eye. He was miserable, honestly…I'm not saying the year with us fixed him completely but it got him out of the bad environment he was in. He smiled more. He was sober more. I just can't imagine going through what he's gone through."

"It's difficult, that's for sure." Yuukio sighed, shaking her head.

"I don't want to intrude, but, uh…." Haruhi looked embarrassed now. "What happened between you and Xavier?"

"Between us?" Vinny asked, confused. "Oh, wait, you talkin' 'bout that thing with the party and the closet?"

"I guess?" Haruhi wasn't too sure but she wanted to know about it.

"That was a rough night for him. His dad was hounding him all week about breaking up with Monique. This was maybe….a month after he came over to America. We were at this party and I hadn't seen him for a few hours when I got pushed against this wall when I was walking down a hallway and someone was making out with me and when I realized it was Xavier and I stopped him and found out he was seriously drunk." Vinny mumbled, looking at the cup in front of him. "I'm only telling you three because I trust ya'll and he likes you three the most. He trusts you."

They all watched him closely when he said this.

"He was a wreck. His dad had called earlier and he just drank and drank and he was crying and he didn't want to let me go and I knew he wasn't in the right mind. I told him I was going to take him home and he just looked at me and said 'I need to fuck. Not have sex, not 'make love.' Fuck. I need your teeth on my skin, I need your nails on my back. Make it rough. I need to forget, even if just for an hour.'" He told them, looking at them. "I got him out of the party and confronted him about it the next day. From then he wasn't allowed to get drunk like that and we started taking small steps. You can't push them, you just need to encourage them. He wants to get better."

"He just needs help towards it." Yuukio sighed, not wanting her tea any more. "Those are the only coping methods he has. Get drunk and forget his problems, even for a little bit, go sleep around to distract himself from his life and issues….it's all a vicious cycle and it's caught up to him." She was lucky she hadn't gotten caught up like this. With her overbearing mother and party going sister, she would never be sober.

"Exactly." Vinny agreed. "So he made changes and yeah I wasn't into him sleeping around with Tiffany but you know, it's his life, and he said he could handle it."

"Wait, who is Tiffany?" Hikaru asked, remembering that name. He got a bad gut feeling from the name.

"Oh…." Vinny realized that maybe they didn't know about her. "She was just this girl he had a friend with benefit relationship with when he was in America. Nothing special about her." He back tracked, making note not to talk about her again.

Haruhi realized that was the girl Xavier loved. She kept quiet about it, knowing it was best to not talk about it. They all knew there had been something special about her.

"I really appreciate you guys being there for him." Vinny said after a few minutes of watching Xavier and Stella and Isaac with his guests. "I love him a lot. He's my best friend and he doesn't deserve all the bullshit that happens to him. He's a great guy with a rough exterior. We're all a little kinda…not normal. Stella was abused as a kid, and when she ran away one day, she ran into her 'dad' and he got her out of there and adopted her, Isaac's parents are both workaholics who are trying to get more Nobel Peace Prizes than the other and honestly sometimes I think they forget they even have a son, and I'm…..I dunno. Third oldest out of seven, slight disappointment to the parents because I'm not wanting to be a lawyer like my brother or an engineer like my sister. Being a rockstar isn't as…..realistic as their jobs." He shrugged, not looking too sad about it. "Shit happens but sometimes it's hard to get over it. We got to be there for each other."

Hikaru nodded his head, keeping his eyes on Xavier as he laughed loudly.

"Okay, seriously though, Xavier is the best at waking people up!" Stella exclaimed, catching all of their attention. "This was maybe like, five months after he came to America, and we were at my dad's house for the weekend. I had fallen asleep on the couch, and I got woken up by him kissing me all over my face and tickling me while saying 'come on love, time to get up. Looooovvveee, wake up!' and it was so fantastic."

"That sounds amazing." Abby sighed dreamily while Xavier looked flushed. He glanced to their table and Hikaru felt sort of jealous. He wanted to be woken up like that. "So are you guys going to be practicing the rest of the week?"

"Yeah. I'll miss chatting with you this week, love." Xavier charmed and she squealed.

* * *

Hikaru pawed at Xavier Thursday, frustrated beyond belief. He barely got to see him at all. He would skip going to the library and go straight to music room five to practice with his friends so Hikaru didn't get any time with him. Plus, after school, Xavier spent all of his time with them.

"You can't ignore me." Hikaru whined, following after Xavier, gripping at Xavier's leather jacket. He got that he never got to see Vinny or the others, but Hikaru was feeling extremely neglected.

"Mate, not ignoring you." Xavier said, amused by the black haired male's actions. "But you know I never see them."

"Yeah, I know…" He pouted, his bottom lip jutting out. "But you can't just drop me for them. You won't even reply to my texts. I'm your best friend too."

"You want to come to practice today?" Xavier asked as they passed by the club room. He stopped to let Hikaru decide.

"We should have the club while you practice!" Tamaki appeared out of nowhere, startling the two of them. "Let's do it!"

* * *

"Uh." Xavier muttered, looking at the sofas and tables filled with guests. They literally moved everything into this room. John waved happily at Misaki, pleased that his fiancé was here. They, the five of them, were up on the stage, trying to start practice. "Guys, you do know we'll be stopping during songs and arguing about how to play them….."

"That's fine!" Tamaki exclaimed happily, sitting with his guests.

Monique sneered, looking less than impressed. "Are you going to do any _original _songs?" She questioned, pissing Xavier off.

"Ah, of course, darling, I got one just for you." He winked and glanced at the others. They had just finished warming up and he was ready to go.

"This one is called Novocaine!" Vinny cheered and they started playing.

It was a harsh and rough sounding song. It was different than the mellow ones they usually played.

"_This is a black, black ski mask song! So put all of your anger on. In the truly gruesome do we trust. I will always land on you like a sucker punch. Singing I am your worst, I am your worst nightmare. I am your worst, I am your worst nightmare."_ Xavier sang, strumming hard on his guitar. _"If you knew, knew what the bluebirds sang at you, you would never sing along. Cast them out cause this is our culture. These new flocks are nothing but vultures!" _He kicked out his leg, smirking wickedly at her.

"_Because they took our love and they filled it up. Filled it up with Novocaine and now I'm just numb. Now I'm just numb and don't mind me, I'm just a son of a gun. So don't stop, don't stop until your heart goes numb. Now I'm just numb. I don't feel a thing for you!" _He hit the extremely high and low notes perfectly, surprising everyone as he jumped around the stage. Monique looked so angry, but, she asked for it.

"His vocal range is top notch…" Haruhi mumbled in awe. "Like, seriously, and he wrote this song?"

"_I'm just a problem that doesn't want to be solved. So could you please hold your applause? Take this sideshow and all its freaks and turn it into the silver screen dream!"_

"This is his life." Yuukio said, pleased. "He's been trained for this. Jackal took a lot of time to help him. He's really proud of Xavier."

"He seemed like it." Haruhi said, thinking about to the male she met in France. "His mom and Jackal both were really supportive."

"Ah yeah, they are the best." Yuukio sighed. "They just want him happy."

"_I said one day the valley's gonna swallow me whole and I feel like a photo that's been over-exposed!" _He sang, grabbing themic._ "They took our love and they filled it up. Filled it up with Novocaine and now I'm just numb! Now I'm just numb and don't mind me, I'm just a son of a gun. So don't stop, don't stop until your heart goes numb. Now I'm just numb! Oh I don't feel a thing for you!"_ His voice went up and hit the high note and the song was done.

Everyone clapped and he smiled, looking at the others. Hikaru's face broke out in a smile and he shot Xavier a thumbs up. Xavier replied with a wink before turning to the band and talking to them.

Vinny started playing and the others joined as Xavier put his guitar up and grabbed the mic, pulling it off the stand.

"_And you're a liar, at least all of your friends are. And so am I, just typically drowned in my car." _This song wasn't his, Haruhi knew, and it was a lot slower with more instrumental bits in it. "_It's my party and I'll cry to the end. You must try harder than kissing all of my friends. You. It takes a bit more, yeah it takes a bit more than you. It takes a bit more, yeah it takes a bit more than you."_ He sang, jumping off the stage. _"You're alive, at least as far as I can tell you are and so am I, you beat me down and then we're back to my car. And it's so ironic how it's only been a year. And it's not my fault that I fucked everybody here!"_ He put his hand up, shrugging.

"Oh my god." Monique growled. "I'm so sick of The 1975."

"_And I say 'Do you wanna dance, do you wanna dance, do you wanna dance on the bar at the back of the hall?'"_ He sang to Abby and pulled her up, twirling her around with one hand while the other held the mic. _"And I say 'Do you wanna dance, do you wanna dance, do you wanna dance, dance in the back of the hall?' It takes a bit more, yeah it takes a bit more than you. It takes a bit more, yeah it takes a bit more than you. It takes a bit more, yeah it takes a bit more than you. It takes a bit more, yeah it takes a bit more than you."_

Hikaru watched him twirl her around, nodding his head and singing along, all while smiling at her. When the music ended, he kissed her hand, making her and Hikaru's face go red. Abby's face red with embarrassment, Hikaru's from annoyance.

"Give me a lift, yeah?" Xavier asked, at the end of the stage with his hand reaching up. Vinny effortlessly pulled him up and Xavier was back on the stage. He tugged his leather jacket off, getting hot and put the mic back. "Break." He decided.

"Sweet!" Stella jumped off the stage eagerly scurrying over to Yuukio for some tea. "How do we sound?"

"Wonderful!" Misaki exclaimed as John joined them, giving his fiancé a quick kiss. "You guys are wonderful."

"Thank you so much!" Stella flushed, cheeks as pink as her hair. "I love it when we all get together and make music. On our own isn't any fun."

"I didn't peg you as the drummer at first." Yuukio admitted, giving Stella a cup of tea. "I thought Vinny was the drummer with how muscular he is."

"Everyone says that. A lot of people think I won't be a good drummer because I'm a girl." She muttered, rolling her eyes. "I'm actually pretty strong. My guns are loaded." She flexed her arms with a smile. "Vinny makes sure we're all in top shape. Sunday was leg, arm, and everything else, day."

"You work out?" Misaki asked, sipping her tea.

"Oh yeah, we gotta. We have to get strong and build up endurance. When we play concerts, there's no time for rest breaks." Stella explained while Vinny flirted with Abby. Xavier was with her as well, making her doubly happy. "We blast the music and work out. Xavier has to sing along to it for as long as he can. Putting on a show is great, singing well live is great, but being able to put on an amazing show and still sound amazing? That's seriously important in our music world. We don't have back up dancers or props or costume changes." She grew a little more serious, but it wasn't surprising. This was her future. "We have our instruments, our voices, and ourselves."

"You guys will be amazing. I just know it." Misaki said confidently, making Stella's smile impossibly wide.

"Thank you so much!" She nodded her head excitedly. "Praise is always welcomed, along with suggestions. We got to keep improving, but, it's really nice to get a pat on the back once in a while."

* * *

"They were really great today, weren't they?" Haruhi asked Hikaru as they walked home together. Usually Xavier walked her home, but since he was with his other friends, Hikaru decided to give it a whirl. He felt a little behind with Haruhi. It seemed like no matter how much time he spent with her, Tamaki always got more. However, that wasn't what was bothering him.

What was bothering him was that Kaoru had Yuukio and Xavier had his other friends right now. Hikaru felt sort of abandoned.

"Are you okay?" Haruhi furrowed her brows, noticing that the black haired male was upset over something. "You know, you can hang out with them, right? Vinny and Stella and Isaac like you. You provided excellent commentary in the club today. They know he's your best friend too." She wasn't quite sure what was going on with Xavier and Hikaru, but she didn't questioned it. It was obviously for the better, since both of them started to be in better moods.

"That'd be awkward." He mumbled, kicking a pebble on the sidewalk. Why was he thinking about Xavier in a time like this? He needed to focus in on Haruhi! "Besides, what if I want to spend time with youuuuu?"

"You spent enough time with me at school." She muttered, looking away with an exasperated expression. "Besides, you've been cranky lately. Go hang out with him." She turned down her street after this, waving goodbye. He watched her until she disappeared from his sight.

"Urg." He groaned, calling for a car to come pick him up. No way was he walking all the way home. What was he going to do about Xavier? He couldn't just go over there, right? Why was he being so nervous about this?

* * *

Xavier slowly glanced to the door when he heard knocking. "Don't tell me Isaac's done with shopping already? Who will carry Yuukio and Stella's bags?"

"I offered to go!" Vinny exclaimed as they paused the video game. Xavier got up, taking his time. He yawned while he shuffled over to the door, legs sore from the position he had been sitting in.

"Oi, and leave me alone here? Horrible mate you are." Xavier shot back, jokingly of course. He unlocked the door and opened it, surprised to see Hikaru standing there. He was in normal clothes, so he had to have gone home and changed. "Hey, mate, something wrong?"

Hikaru looked so nervous, and he really felt nervous, and sort of out of place. If Vinny wasn't here, he'd stroll into the room like it was his own, but, Vinny made things different. They all made things different. He felt like he needed to win their approval. "Uh, hey.."

"Hey!" Vinny waved, smiling at him. "You goin' join us?"

"Yeah, c'mon." Xavier pulled him in, closing and locking the door behind him. "You just missed Yuukio and Stella dragging Isaac away for a shopping trip. I'm sure Kaoru is suffering with him." Hikaru followed Xavier to their spot on the fluffy rug. Vinny scooted over and handed Hikaru a controller once he got settled.

"He wanted to see if I would go, but, I don't like to be the ones holding the bags." Hikaru muttered, starting to feel more at ease. Vinny didn't seem to be judging him. Maybe he had been overthinking it all?


	30. Eyes Bright, Uptight, Just Girls!

**Why yes I do own the cat sweater Xavier is wearing thanks very much its cute. **

**People at work make fun of it**

**But I look super cute in it**

**Thanks so much for reviews! Sorry for the delay in updating, I've become a bit obsessed with Fairy Tail and am in the process of possibly writing a new story for it. (of course the OC is a guy and gay surprise surprise like all my stories)**

* * *

"Heyyyyy, you're going to come to the library, right?" Hikaru asked, latching onto Xavier's side after class. Yesterday had been fun, Vinny was incredibly nice, but he wanted alone time with Xavier.

"You want me to?" Xavier asked, raising an eyebrow. "You miss me that much?"

"I don't like to be ignored." He stuck out his tongue in response, making a face at Xavier, who chuckled, rolling his eyes. "C'mon, it'll be funnnn!"

"Mate." Xavier sighed, shaking his head now. He had missed Hikaru too, which was a big no-no but he was trying not to get too freaked out by it. He was used to having Hikaru with him all the time, so of course he would miss him a bit. "Unfortunately, I can't. The party is tonight you know. We got to rehearse and get things set up."

Hikaru let out an audible, and overdramatic, groan, not pleased with Xavier's response.

"They leave Sunday, so all my attention will be back on you, love." Xavier lowered his voice as he said this right into Hikaru's ear, sending a chill down the younger male's spine.

"That's what I like to hear~!" He smirked, pleased now. "Dedicate a song to me tonight!"

"God help me now…" Xavier muttered.

* * *

"You look dashing." Yuukio told the twins, the party getting into swing now. "Everyone is having a lot of fun and the punch isn't spiked." She sipped her drink, happy to know that Xavier decided to not get everyone at this party tipsy and settle for himself getting a little out of it.

A song was finished and everyone clapped before they started up a slow song, per request of Kyoya.

Really his request was more like 'If you do not play more slow songs, Haruhi's debt will be tripled' and after Xavier and Haruhi both argued that she had nothing to do with the songs he played and how unfair that was, Xavier gave in, not wanting Haruhi to owe even more money.

Xavier nodded to Hikaru and shot a look towards Haruhi, trying to get him to dance with her. Hikaru shook his head, furrowing his brows. It looked too awkward for him to dance with Haruhi, especially when she was posing as a guy. Xavier rolled his eyes as he began to sing the chorus of the song. Hikaru pouted, then glanced at Yuukio, who was sipping her punch, watching everyone.

"I think I'll take you out for a spin." He declared, taking her drink and setting it down before pulling her out to the dance floor.

"H-Hikaru!" Kaoru exclaimed, glaring at his brother as he pulled Kaoru's crush away. Her cheeks were pink and she glanced back to Kaoru.

"You took too long, Kaoru. You can't keep a lady waiting." He chuckled and Yuukio gave him a 'don't be so mean' look, but she seemed amused by it, mostly because Kaoru was getting jealous. Hikaru looked at Xavier and he seemed more amused by Hikaru's actions than Hikaru was.

The two spent the dance teasing Kaoru, who was relieved when the song ended.

"Alright, this one is for all the birds out there." Xavier said into the mic, smirking at the crowd of girls. They all squealed as the song started, sounding extremely poppy.

"_Bite your face to spite your nose. 17 and a half years old. Worrying about my brother finding out. What's the fun in doing what you're told?"_ He looked at Hikaru and winked while the song quietened a bit before popping back up again. _"I said, 'No!', 'Oh give it a rest, I could persuade you', 'I'm not your typical, stoned 18 year old, give me a night I'll make you!', 'I know you're looking for salvation in the secular age, but girl I'm not your savior.' Wrestle to the ground. God help me now because they're just girls breaking hearts! Eyes bright, uptight, just girls! But she can't be what you need if she's 17. They're just girls. They're just girls!"_

Hikaru felt pretty good, knowing Xavier choose this song for him. What a lovely fit.

All the girls were dancing with each other, laughing and smiling and bumping hips with each other. Their dates were at the tables, watching them, clearly not needed in this song. He started into the chorus again and they kept dancing happily, even as the song slowed a bit.

"Like the song?" Haruhi asked, standing next to him. He jumped a little, having been so lost in thought while staring at Xavier.

"Oh, yeah." He replied, nodding his head. This was one of his favorites from the album. He liked the upbeat ones.

"_I said, 'Yo, I think you better go; I can't take you. I know you're looking for salvation in the secular age, but girl I'm not your savior. You just sit and get stoned with 30 year olds and you think you've made it. Well, shouldn't you be fucking with somebody your age instead of making changes?' Wrestle to the ground. God help me now because…"_

* * *

While it was difficult for him, Hikaru knew not to bother Xavier that weekend. He was going to spend all his time with Vinny and the others, and Sunday was going to be rough on him when they left. Yuukio had turned down Kaoru for hanging out Sunday, saying she had plans already with Stella, so he was sure Xavier would be in good hands with Yuukio.

He'd rather it would be his hands, but, he let it slide.

"Cold." He shivered, stepping outside of school Monday afternoon. Xavier had napped in the library and Tamaki wouldn't shut up enough to let Xavier and Hikaru talk at all in the club.

"Hm?" Xavier hummed, glancing at him before looking up at the sky, where snow was falling down gently. "Not so bad. London is far colder." The December chill was something Hikaru didn't enjoy all that much. Plus, he had forgotten his jacket at home. Xavier pulled his red beanie off of his head and put it on Hikaru's head. "You need to bring a hat to school. You lose most of your body heat from your head."

"Warm." Hikaru situated it better, feeling the warmth it had in it from Xavier. "I can come over, right?" He asked, shuffling closer to Xavier for warmth.

"Yeah. Surprised you didn't call or text yesterday." Xavier admitted as they walked towards his car.

"I didn't want to bug you. I knew they were leaving.." He said and Xavier held the door open for him. "So I didn't know if you wanted to be bothered or not."

"You calling or texting isn't bothering me." Xavier slid in next to him, shutting the door. Renge and Monique had long since taken a separate car. "Thanks for understanding that, though. It wasn't so bad this time around. I was okay."

"Good. You'll see them soon again." Hikaru told him, making Xavier smile before turning to look out the window.

* * *

"It's cold." Hikaru whined, under Xavier's covers. He had gotten rid of his uniform, throwing it about the love seat, and was now in a pair of Xavier's pajama pants and a band tee he pulled from his drawers. He snuggled up, wanting Xavier to join him.

"Pathetic." Xavier rolled his eyes, still in his jeans and sweater he wore to school.

"Uh, that sweater is pathetic. Seriously, Xavier. It has cats on it." The sweater was black with pixelated gray and white cats on it. Hikaru sighed, sitting up to make sure Xavier could see the disgusted look on his face.

"Cats are cute." Xavier muttered, but tugged the sweater off, revealing the plain red shirt underneath. "But it's hot as hell." He tossed it over his computer chair and cracked his back. "You know you will have to get redressed later on when it's time for you to head home, right?" He tugged off his jeans, deciding to just stay in his boxers.

"Not if I spend the nightttttttt!" Hikaru sang and Xavier walked over to the bed.

"Thanks for asking if you could." He muttered, sarcastically, but got under the covers with him. Hikaru instantly was pressed against him, throwing his leg over him and nuzzling his face against Xavier's neck, absorbing all his body heat. "It's fine. I'm not doing anything important anyway." He reached for the remote.

"Spending time with me is important." Hikaru told him, running his finger along Xavier's jaw line, now putting his chin on the male's chest.

"Ah, yes, how could I look over that detail? Everything that has to do with you is important." Xavier relaxed into Hikaru's touches, liking how his body felt pressed against his own. It was stabilizing.

"Things are just easier when you agree with me and just compliment me." Hikaru gave him a cheesy grin, pleased with himself. Xavier turned on the tv, mindlessly flipping through the channels.

"Vinny really likes you." Xavier said after finding a movie to watch. "Told me next time to invite you out with all of us."

"I would've came over more but…." Hikaru trailed off, glancing to Xavier. "I didn't want to be awkward or ruin your limited time with them."

"Were you scared of them?" Xavier asked and Hikaru looked away, embarrassed. "Mate, next time they come, you're more than welcomed to join us. I don't want you feeling like you can't spend time with me because they're here."

"Now I know." Hikaru grumbled, feeling silly now. He felt Xavier's hand rub his back and he relaxed again, yawning. "Let's just sleep."

"It's too early for bed." Xavier muttered, eyes going back to his tv. "You worn out? You barely did anything today."

"I didn't nap in the library today." Hikaru argued back, poking Xavier's cheek. "You got to nap instead of playing with me."

"Playing with you?" Xavier asked, interested in what the black haired male was saying now. "Oh yeah, you're not pleased with the amount of attention you've gotten this past week." Hikaru shivered when Xavier's hand stopped rubbing his back and began to run down his back and squeezed his butt. Hikaru jolted up as Xavier laughed.

"Paws to yourself!" Hikaru told him, smacking his chest as Xavier continued to laugh. He sat up as Hikaru frowned at him, cheeks pink.

"Awah, c'mon, love." Xavier put his hands on Hikaru's hips and pulled him close, letting Hikaru straddle his waist.

"Don't 'love' me." Hikaru muttered, putting his hands on Xavier's face, embarrassed. He yanked them back when he felt Xavier's tongue lick his fingers. Xavier laughed again and Hikaru was barely able to hold back a smile. Xavier was so cute when he was laughing and smiling and Hikaru felt so happy looking at him.

"But don't you like that?" Xavier asked, leaning up to nibble at Hikaru's ear, his thumbs doing circles on Hikaru's hips. Hikaru eased into it, putting his hands on Xavier's chest, feeling the soft fabric on his fingers.

"Yeah…" Hikaru mumbled, feeling Xavier's hot breath on his neck. He closed his eyes when Xavier began to kiss his neck, running his mouth along his jawline. "I missed you." He smirked when he felt Xavier pause, lips pressed against his jaw. Hikaru felt Xavier's hands tighten on his hips and Xavier was kissing him full on and Hikaru didn't hesitate to kiss back. He loved saying things like that and turning Xavier on. It was so much fun.

Hikaru tightened his grip on Xavier's shirt as the kiss got hotter and his lips were tingling against Xavier's lip piercing. He moaned into Xavier's mouth, having missed this feeling. Xavier pulled away for air and Hikaru was panting, lips red and swollen. "You okay?" Xavier asked and Hikaru nodded his head, situating himself so he was more comfortable on his lap. Xavier smirked and went to Hikaru's neck, making Hikaru sigh happily because neck kissing was amazing.

There was banging on the door and Hikaru whined. "Yeah?" Xavier asked against Hikaru's neck, not wanting to be interrupted.

"Is Hikaru staying for dinner?" Renge asked, wondering what the two males were doing in the room.

"Yeah, we'll eat in my room!" He called back and returned to Hikaru's neck, pleasing the black haired male.

* * *

"I'm colddddddd!" Hikaru latched onto Xavier as they got out of the car the next morning. A few students chuckled when the two males passed by and Xavier rolled his eyes, but didn't try to brush him off.

"And what do you want me to do about that?" Xavier asked, refusing to give up his beanie once more. "You don't want to wear my clothes, yeah? Last night you went through my closet telling me how dreadful they were. Quite rude, don't you think?"

"I was kidddingggg!" He drew it out, being over dramatic as always. He tugged on Xavier's hoodie, wanting it for himself. "I'm really cold, please?"

"I'm cold too, mate." Xavier replied as they entered the school. "It'll clash with your uniform." He didn't want to give his hoodie up again. It was his favorite black one. "I've got to get to class."

"Buttttttttt!" Hikaru whined and Xavier sighed. He set his bag down and yanked his hoodie over his head, revealing the black jacket he had underneath with a popped collar. Hikaru smiled in victory as he set his own back down and pulled the hoodie on, warming up instantly. Xavier straightened his jacket out and picked up his bag, shaking his head.

"There, are you happy?" He asked and Hikaru nodded his head while he picked up his bag.

"Thanks bestttiiieee!" Hikaru patted Xavier's cheek before hurrying off to join Kaoru and Hikaru, who looked like they felt sorry for Xavier.


	31. Is It The Same For You?

**Thank you all for the reviews, favs, and follows! They are very much appreciated! **

**Decided to update a little quicker because I took forever to update last time, my own forgetfulness was at fault for that.**

**Next few chapters might be pretty sad and some might be shorter than usual.**

* * *

"Sing for us, please?" Abby asked as Xavier dozed off on the couch again. He sat up, trying to pretend like he hadn't fallen asleep. Abby just giggled and Hikaru smirked at him, shaking his head.

It was now getting towards the end of December, close to Winter break. "You sleepy?" Abby asked, her eyes glued to Xavier, who ran his fingers through his hair, yawning.

"Sorry, love." He apologized even though he knew she wasn't upset. "The cold always makes me tired." He glanced to the large windows, seeing the snow fall to the ground. He had been sleeping a lot more lately, which he guessed was good, since he barely got five hours in usually. He cracked his back, fully waking himself up. "You want a song?"

"Yes!" She cheered happily as he reached for his guitar, tuning it as he settled it against him.

"_Say goodbye to the halls and the classes. Say hello to a job and the taxes. The weekends with old friends spilling into 9 to 5 routine. Tell me how you feel over and done with, like your life is a map with no compass to guide, at the bar drinkin' way too much. We sing along to "Forever Young". So here we go again wishin' we could start again! Wendy, run away with me. I know I sound crazy, don't you see what you do to me?"_ He sang as he played, smiling at Abby. _"I wanna be your lost boy, your last chance, a better reality. Wendy we can get away. I promise if you're with me, say the word and we'll find a way. I can be your lost boy, your last chance, your 'everything better' plan. Oh, somewhere in Neverland."_

Abby gushed once Xavier finished the song, making him blush and her giggle. Hikaru shot her a look, noticing her hands holding onto his arm. He had been spending more time with Haruhi recently because Tamaki had been busy most of the time after school lately, giving Hikaru tons of time with her, but, he wasn't very pleased with it. He was starting to prefer hanging out with Xavier, which he didn't understand much. He was chalking it up to the kisses and touches, but, maybe he was wrong?

He tried to focus on his guests and ignore Abby's constant giggling but by the end of the club he was frustrated. He pawed at Xavier, holding onto his arm tightly now. "Heyyyyyyy!"

"Oi, mate, why ya grippin' on my arm so hard?" Xavier asked, glancing at Hikaru.

"Let's hang out today!" Hikaru declared, more like a command than a suggestion. He usually walked home with Haruhi and then sometimes would go over to Xavier's, but that meant he missed Xavier unwinding as he smoked his cigarette and Hikaru didn't know why but it was soothing to watch.

"Sure." Xavier replied, ruffling Hikaru's hair with his other hand, earning a pout from the male. Xavier didn't mind Hikaru spending more time with Haruhi lately. He still got to see him in the library and the male hung out with him on the weekends and texted him, so he was content.

* * *

"What made you want to hang with me today so suddenly?" Xavier asked, lighting his cigarette as Hikaru rolled all over his bed.

"I can't hang with my best friend?" Hikaru asked with a look, watching Xavier carefully. His face looked hollow but when he smiled at Hikaru, it looked so good. Xavier kept looking at Hikaru, having replied to him, but Hikaru hadn't heard his response.

"Hikaru?" Xavier repeated and put out his cigarette with a smirk. "Love, you need to get your ears cleaned out." He said and Hikaru snapped out of his thoughts when Xavier approached the bed. Of course, when Xavier called him love, he would hear that.

"I wasn't paying attention." Hikaru told him honestly as Xavier sat down on the bed. Hikaru rolled over to him and pulled himself into Xavier's lap, getting comfy. "I am now thoughhhhhhh~!"

"Of course you are." Xavier kissed Hikaru, sucking at his lower lip. Hikaru held back a moan as someone knocked on the door. "Yeah, what do you want? I'm a bit busy in here!" He called back and kissed Hikaru's neck, making the black haired male smile and lean into the kisses.

"Xavier." A male voice boomed and Xavier froze. Hikaru felt him shake a bit and he sent him a questioning glance. "Open the door."

"Honey, please." A softer female voice came and then gentle knocking. "Hello? Xavier?"

"Shit shit shit!" Xavier pushed Hikaru off of him and went to the door, unlocking it slowly. He opened it and Hikaru saw a male that looked to be the same height as Xavier but he had slicked back black hair and a goatee. He had dark brown eyes that narrowed at Xavier's clothes. A woman with brown short hair was next to him, her eyes softer and she smiled at him. "Uh…what are you two doing here?"

"Renge didn't tell you?" The woman asked, her head tilted. "We should have called you."

"Were you doing something you aren't supposed to be doing?" The man asked and looked past Xavier, seeing Hikaru on the bed. Hikaru had quickly grabbed a book from his bag, making it look like they were studying.

"Dad, no." Xavier shook his head and Hikaru froze, looking at the man. This was Xavier's father? The man looked nothing like him! Must have meant Xavier got his mother's looks, Hikaru wasn't too sure. He hadn't seen her in years. "Just my mate from school, Hikaru. You know his parents. Hi, Clara."

The woman smiled at Hikaru and then at Xavier. She pulled him into a tight hug and Hikaru could tell Xavier wasn't okay with it by how he tensed up. "I'm so sorry this was a surprise visit, but your father has business here and I figured I would tag along to see how you and Renge are doing! I heard you're in her Host Club? We'll have to stop by for a visit, dear." She told Xavier's dad and Hikaru guessed this was his girlfriend or fiancé?

"Of course. I want to see what you're up to." His dad said and Xavier glanced back to Hikaru, looking like he wanted to die.

"Well, uh, if that's all." Xavier started, ready to shut the door. "Kind of in the middle of studying. Hikaru isn't the best in French."

"Ah, well good thing Xavier is tutoring you. His French is beautiful!" Clara said and pulled Xavier's father away. Xavier shut and locked the door swiftly. He turned back to Hikaru and slumped over to the bed, a blank look on his face.

"Xavier?" Hikaru asked Xavier, worried about him. "So…that was your dad…."

"Yup and his girlfriend…whatever she is….." He grunted and got back up, getting himself another cigarette. He clenched it between his teeth as he lit in. "That bloody bitch. Not telling me my father was going to show up!" He inhaled deeply, blowing out a lot of smoke. "This is pay back, I just know it! Oi, when I get my hands on her stupid neck!" He angrily smoked the cigarette, muttering to himself.

"Hey…" Hikaru came up behind him and patted his shoulder, trying to calm him down. "Put out that cigarette and come get back in bed with me." This perked Xavier's ears up and he put out the cigarette.

"You know just what to say, don't you?" Xavier asked, wrapping his arms around Hikaru's waist and the male smirked, happy for the attention.

"I'm pretty smart, I know." He said and Xavier kissed his neck and Hikaru backed up towards the bed. He broke away from Xavier's hold and jumped onto the bed with a laugh. Xavier climbed on after him and pinned him down.

"You have too much energy." He murmured into Hikaru's ear before presses kisses along his jawline, pleasing Hikaru.

"That's not such a bad thing, you know." Hikaru winked at him and Xavier shot him a look before kissing him deeply.

* * *

Hikaru didn't know what time it was but his jacket was thrown somewhere in the room with his tie and his shirt was unbuttoned with red marks all over his chest. He wanted more attention down south but Xavier wasn't too sure if he wanted to risk it with his dad being in the house.

"You joining us for dinner?" Renge asked as she knocked on the door. Xavier pulled his lips away from Hikaru's, sick of being interrupted.

"No, we're good!" He called back and Hikaru pulled him down for another messy kiss when there was more banging on the door. "Renge, what do you bloody want? I don't want dinner!"

"Xavier." His dad's voice startled Hikaru and the jiggling of the doorknob scared him a bit.

"We've got a French test tomorrow. We need to study! The maid will bring us up food like she always does." Xavier did not want to leave this room. He looked at Hikaru and sighed. Hikaru wrapped his arms around Xavier's neck, not knowing how to comfort him.

"Xavier." He father repeated and Xavier growled. He got up and fixed his own shirt and then helped Hikaru button up his own shirt, pissed beyond belief.

"What?" Xavier asked when he unlocked and opened the door. The two entered a stare down and Hikaru had never felt more awkward in his entire life. Should he just get up? Could Xavier's father tell they had been in the middle of some heavy making out? "We're quite busy in here. I'm too knackered out to have a positively dreadful dinner with you lot." Hikaru could see the annoyance on Xavier's father's face. The British accent seemed to piss him off more.

"You need to have dinner with us." His father said simply. "Hikaru, you are welcomed to join us."

"Uh, thank you sir.." Hikaru muttered and Xavier turned to look at him, letting him know with his expression that Hikaru didn't have to stay. "I'd love to." With that, Xavier sent him a small, thankful smile and Xavier's father disappeared down the hallway.

"Thank you." Xavier shut the door and Hikaru got redressed. Xavier leaned it, giving him a quick peck on the cheek, making Hikaru smile.

* * *

Dinner was awful. It was awkward and Clara was the only one that bothered speaking to Xavier. It probably didn't help that Xavier wasn't the nicest, but Hikaru was more than friendly enough for the both of them and Hikaru knew Xavier was pissed beyond belief.

He had been blindsided because Renge had been a bitch and not told him about his dad, and he had been interrupted during their makeout session.

"How's school going, Xavier?" His father, Akio, asked. Xavier swirled his food with his fork boredly. Hikaru noticed he mostly pushed his food around and took many small bites, making it look like he was eating a lot when truly he barely ate.

"It's a jolly good time. Learning so much." Xavier replied with a cheeky grin.

"Cut that out." His father said and Xavier rolled his eyes.

"It's quite boring and not up my alley but school never has been and never will be so I figured lying would just be easier and less awkward, yeah?" He muttered, taking another small bite. "The birds and blokes don't fit my fancy and half of them are so spoiled that they've gotten quite rotten. Only lot I like are the mates in the club."

God, Xavier could sound so pretentious when he wanted to.

It was really hot.

Xavier glanced to Hikaru and a small smirk was on his lips. He knew what he was doing.

* * *

"Urg. Get rid of your accent." Hikaru muttered the second Xavier shut and lock his bedroom door behind him. Xavier was instantly pushing Hikaru back towards the bed, wanting to continue from earlier. "Z-Zave.." Hikaru was a bit surprised to have him so eager. "Are you okay?"

"We won't be able to do this while my dad is here." Xavier told him as Hikaru fell back onto the bed, Xavier on top of him, biting at his neck. "You won't be allowed to come over. You honestly don't want to be around with him here." He didn't want to talk. He wanted to forget the hell he was about to endure.

"Hey, woah." Hikaru sat up, pushing Xavier's mouth off of his neck. "Why can't I come over?"

"My father, while he is a bloody asshole, is no fool." Xavier muttered, getting frustrated all over again. "I don't want to talk." He pressed against Hikaru, going for his weak spot on the male's collarbone. Hikaru whined quietly, almost forgetting what they were talking about.

Haruhi had warned him about this, so did Yuukio and Vinny. Xavier would change topics or distract you and scoot around talking about how he felt or his problems. He was a liar, an excellent one at that, as well.

"Xavier, tell me." Hikaru snapped out of the pleasure and he heard Xavier sigh against his neck.

"He knows I'm messing around with you and he is most definitely not pleased with it." Xavier told him with a straight face. "His son has an imaginary mental illness and fucks around with blokes? Impossible!" He seemed hurt as he said these words. "I'm not going to let him try and cut you down. He does that to me enough as it is and it would not be fair for you to suffer the same fate." He got off of Hikaru now, knowing the male wasn't going to let him continue. "You should just get out before he comes banging on the door again."

"Hey, I can handle myself, got it?" Hikaru told him, shooting him a defiant look. "You want me to leave you so he can make you feel awful about yourself? No way." He shook his head, feeling bad for Xavier.

"Love, I appreciate it, but for your mental sake, you should go." He pulled Hikaru up, over powering him. "I'll text you later, okay?"

"But-"

"Hikaru." Xavier needed to be left alone. He had to process what the next few days would have in store for him. He was in a house full of enemies now. He had to be careful. "I'll see you at school tomorrow. You need to bring my hoodie back." He added and this made Hikaru smile a little.

"Fine. You're always welcomed at my house." He kissed Xavier quickly before he grabbed his bag and left the room.

* * *

Hikaru felt relieved when he saw Xavier the next morning. He looked fine and he seemed to be acting normally and he didn't smell of whiskey, so that was a great sign.

"I can't believe Renge didn't tell you." Haruhi mumbled and Kaoru nodded his head in agreement as Xavier walked them to their homeroom class.

"That bloody witch is out for my head I tell ya." He told them, stuffing his hands in his pocket. He let Hikaru wear his hoodie again today, only because he looked so cute in it. "Had to go and bring his girlfriend along with him. I like the bird, she's decent, never had someone try so hard to get me to like them, but she points out things I wish she didn't."

"Like how you barely ate your dinner last night?" Hikaru asked and Xavier looked away, the answer being 'yes'. Hikaru wanted to reach out and hold his hand, but he knew Xavier would pull it away.

"You're more than welcomed at our house." Kaoru offered up, knowing it was rough on Xavier.

"Thanks, but alas, my father is not someone who can be ignored. He demands attention and I at least have to try to show him a decent about of respect." Xavier's tongue felt heavy when he said that. "Mona was nice to me this morning. I can't tell if she feels sorry for me or if she's plotting against me with them."

"Eh…" Hikaru would have to say the second option.

"I was hesitate at first, but, she knows how much my father and I butt heads and honestly how much I detest him. If he showed me even an ounce of respect I might favor him more but what can you do?" He was so pissed off and he was doing a horrible job at hiding it. "You lot go off to class and learn."

"You too!" Haruhi told him and he chuckled, going in the opposite direction of his homeroom.


	32. So I'm Always Getting Recognized

**Hello! Okay, so I have a tiny favor for all of you and it's super simple if you have a facebook. My sister had to create a company and I suggested sort of like a review site, kinda of like goodreads. It's mostly for electronic books and also for fanfictions and it's called 'The Self Published'. Anyway, there's a link to the facebook page for it on my profile, and it would really help if you guys could like it please? She'll be deleting the page in about two weeks, since it's purely for this class, but she really needs some likes on and it and it would really mean a lot if you guys could give it a click?**

**I would really appreciate it very much so I'll go ahead and say thank you to those who do it! She only has about 25 likes now and I know I have a few (quite a few) follows on this story so I'm hoping to really help her out! She's so close to being done with school, which if you live in America you know can be difficult to get to the end of college, and this teacher is being a pain in the butt so I wanna see if I can help her get tons of likes!**

**So thank you thank you thank you! I'll be sure to update this story quickly (sorry for taking a while) and thank you again for any reviews/follows/favs. I appreciate them tons and I'm happy to know you guys are interested in these two dorks. **

**If the link doesn't work, please tell me in the reviews/a pm/an ask on tumblr and I will try to get it to work immediately! This really means a lot to me so thank you again!**

* * *

Xavier felt his father's gaze on him and a shiver ripped through his body. His father had barely spoken to him the past three days but his gaze was so heavy on Xavier and try as he might he couldn't get out from under it.

He felt like his whole body was heavy and trying to keep up the false façade was slowly killing him.

"Xavier, you don't like to wear the uniform?" Clara asked as he walked by the table. Yuukio had moved to be with the twins, opening her seat for Akio, who watched his son like a hawk.

"It's uncomfortable." Xavier told her with an eye roll from his father. "It's too constricting and I feel better in these clothes."

"You need to wear the uniform." His father muttered in a constant state on annoyance with his son. The only things his father had said to him so far were about his hair, behavior, future, clothes, and his depression, which his father argued with him was a figment of his imagination.

'_Your mother spoiled you.' _He had said before Xavier stormed away from him, slamming his bedroom door behind him like a child throwing a tantrum.

"Oh, well, you look handsome either way." There was Clara, trying so hard to win Xavier over. He didn't understand why. Why did she care what he thought?

"Thanks, Clara."

"You need to address her more properly." His father told him and he grunted, rolling his eyes.

"How would I do that, father?" He hoped the venom was clear in his words. "What should I call her? She's your girlfriend."

"Fiancé." He corrected and Xavier froze.

"F-Fiancé? Since when?" Xavier asked feeling like he was the last to know. The smug look on Renge's face said it all. He was the last to know. The room went dead silent and Xavier felt eyes on him. They were waiting for him to explode or storm out or do anything, anything at all, but all he could do was stand there with deer in the headlight eyes.

"That's so wonderful!" Tamaki declared, bouncing in to give Xavier some relief from the stares. "I'm so very happy for you two! I hope you have a wonderful wedding and a bright future together!" Clara thanked his profusely, loving Tamaki very much already. Tamaki patted Xavier's shoulder and hurried away, telling the other hosts to entertain their guests to give the three some privacy if possible.

"When were ya goin' tell me?" He felt so off. He felt like the joke. That's what he was with his father's family anyway it seemed.

"Let's go to dinner tonight to celebrate, okay?" Renge suggested happily. "Come on, Zavy, congratulate them!"

"Congrats." He mumbled as Clara held Akio's hand happily and his father smiled at her. His father never smiled at him like that. He never smiled at his mother like that. Not since Xavier was born. He looked away, catching Hikaru's eye for a split second. "Sorry, loves, would you excuse me for just one moment?" He asked Misaki and Abby when he approached the couch.

"Of course!" Abby told him, earning a fake smile from him.

"Thanks. Got to run to the loo." It was such a simple lie and if you watched him leave you could tell where he was going. He patted his pockets and was pulling out a cigarette as the doors shut behind him. Hikaru looked after him with a panicked look, unsure what to do. He had been trying to stay away from Xavier in the club room as much as he could, even when Akio wasn't there. He didn't know Clara and he wasn't sure if she would report back to Akio about how Hikaru would hang off of Xavier. He didn't know if going after him would make it better, or worse, for him later.

Yuukio noticed the look on Hikaru's face, because she had the same expression as well. She was up instantly, pretending someone was calling her. "Let me go take this out of the club room." She said as she grabbed her phone and hurriedly left the room, hoping it wasn't too obvious what she was doing. She saw Xavier go up a flight of stairs and she hurried after him, wishing she hadn't worn these heels while she climbed the stairs.

He made it to the door and pushed out a door, lighting his cigarette on the snow covered roof of the school. His leather jacket wasn't the warmest, but he needed this fag like nothing else.

"Xavier." Yuukio said when she came outside, happy she kept her coat on. "Hey, are you okay?"

"What do you think?" He snapped, inhaling deeply. "My father is getting married and getting the family he always wanted. A door mate of a wife and probably a kid that'll bend over backwards to please that old bastard…" He blew the smoke out through his nose and kicked a pile of snow, angry. "Fuckin' bloody pissed as hell! I'll have to sit through dinner tonight and hear all the plans about the wedding and how much of a bloody screw up I am to that bastard and how I'll never be respectable or settle down!"

"Hey…" Yuukio patted his shoulder and he kept his eyes focused on the ground, taking another drag.

"I'm just angry and upset." He told her, her touching calmed him a little. "I need to get out of this place."

"You can't." Yuukio told him as he inhaled again. He stood there, silent, as he finished up his cigarette. "I know….I know you want to leave, but that will make it worse. Sometimes you just have to wait for the storm to pass." She knew from experience. "Will you be okay?"

His skin felt like ice but he didn't care. He would rather not feel a thing and he had a feeling he was starting to slip again. He shook his head, turning around to head back inside. "I'll deal. How pissed do you think he'd be if I sang Menswear?" He asked her as they trotted down the stairs. He was already in a deep hole, so he had nothing to lose if he dug himself deeper.

"I would find it funny but I doubt he'd like it much." Yuukio said but the smirk on his face didn't fade. "Xavier, don't make it worse on yourself."

"I'm already in trouble, but you know, I always go down swinging."

* * *

"You're going to play?" Abby asked when Xavier went over to the piano.

"Sure am, love." He replied, testing out a few keys when he sat down. "This song is a bit odd so I doubt it will sound as wonderful as the original but it's the only song I know about weddings and I think it's fitting."

"I bet it'll be lovely!" Clara exclaimed and smiled at Akio. "You love it when he plays the piano, don't you?"

"It's the only real instrument he plays." He muttered and Xavier flashed him a wicked smile, having no fear about playing this song.

He started the song, watching the keys closely while he did so. It had an incredibly long intro with no singing, but it was beautiful and he dad looked like he was actually enjoying it.

Until Xavier opened his mouth.

_"Well I only brought 3, what you lookin' at me for? She's dressed in white and putting off crying. Well you're the best man, so what's the plan? Why don't you talk to Matty about it?' I said, 'I only brought 3 like I told you before, we're gonna have to ask about.' Free bar, that's the point. Spilling Amaretto 'cause of previous joints. I'm sitting with a girl, fortunate placing. Preceding railing racket off a porcelain basin. Who's he? Giving it the lips? I've never seen him knockin' about. He looks just like me, but 6 foot 3, so I reckon you could knock him out."_

Xavier was smirking now and his father was furious.

_"Well, I think I'll say a couple of words if you don't mind...I never really got on with your bird the first time. I met her out, dressed in nowt, telling everybody you were shagging about. Well, who's this? Going for the kiss, I'm probably gonna yosh in your mouth. Because it's five past three, I can hardly see and I'm on the verge of passing out."_

* * *

"I cannot believe he did that song." Renge muttered to Yuukio and Monique while they put the teacups back in the cabinets in the storage room. "He is so disrespectful."

"You know, Renge…" Yuukio started, gently placing a tea cup back in its proper spot. "It was awful that you blinded sided him like that. You know he has issues with his father." Yuukio was furious with Renge about this, but she was trying to speak calmly, because the second to began to yell at Renge, she'd shut down and ignore you.

"I agree with Yuukio, Renge." Monique admitted, feeling strange taking her ex's side. Yuukio looked at her with surprise and she couldn't blame her. "It's just…his father is so horribly rough on him for something Xavier cannot control. I used to think he was over reacting and that his father was right, but I'm starting to see that I was wrong." She didn't want to upset Renge, but, she wasn't going to praise her for horrible behavior. Defending her ex was not something she did often, she barely defended him when they were together, but Renge needed to know that doing this was not okay.

"What?" Renge asked, shocked that her two best friends didn't agree with her. "He's awful! He deserved it!"

"Renge, what you did was wrong." Yuukio declared, letting it be known her opinion wasn't changing. "His mental illness isn't a joke or a trend. It's real and his father being here is making it worse and you need to say sorry."

Renge muttered and rolled her eyes, mumbling out a 'sure' even though they both knew she wouldn't say a damn thing.

* * *

Renge didn't have an off button. Xavier was sure of it. However, her not having an off button was great news for him as he sat in this high end restaurant stuck in a suit and, overall, being miserable. He had hidden behind his menu at the start, but after ordering, it was taken away. He was forced to sit up straight and try to control his fidgeting and plaster a 'I'm not uncomfortable' look on his face, even though he truly was. These places weren't his scene anymore and every second made his skin itch.

"So I'm really excited to see what next school year holds!" Renge finished her long ramble and Xavier now felt the eyes on him.

"How is school going for you, Xavier?" Clara was trying so hard to win his favor and it disturbed him. Why did she care about him? His father sure as hell didn't.

"It's boring." He muttered, playing with napkin in his lap. "The classes are boring, the lectures are boring, the teachers are boring." None of it interested him. He already found difficulty being interested in the things he loved, but now he was stuck at this school whose main interest was not music.

"I highly doubt everything is boring." There was his father's input. "Just because you're not where you want to be does not mean you can mope and sleep through your classes and label them as boring."

"It's a fact." Xavier didn't want to argue. He was tired of arguing. He knew when he got home all hell would break lose and he would get an earful for the song, but at least he was somewhat safe out in public.

"It's probably because you haven't been taking your medication." Renge brought up and he really hated her.

"You haven't? You need to take it." His father said and he rolled his eyes.

"You want me to take some pills for the 'imaginary' mental illness I have? I know for certain it's real but you don't seem to think so, so what is the point in me taking the medication?" Xavier questioned, fighting back. The medication wasn't the correct kind. He had a different one in America and that one really helped a lot, but, being in Japan, he was given a new one under his dad's doctors and it just wasn't doing it's job.

"The doctor prescribed them and you need to take them. I do think it's all in your head but you behave much better when you take it."

Xavier wanted to punch him but that would be a terrible idea so he held back.

Every time he thought he was doing better, something had to come along and prove him wrong.


	33. I Got A Plane In The Middle Of The Night

To say Xavier looked like death the next day was an extreme understatement. The bags under his eyes were prominent and you could smell the light scent of whiskey on him. His hair was disheveled and his face…his face was so hollow looking. It seemed like one tap could send him falling to the floor.

"Dinner…." He mumbled to Hikaru when they were hidden away in the library in their aisle. He was sitting on the floor and Hikaru was in his lap, trying to make him feel better. He just rested his head on Hikaru's shoulder and closed his eyes. "Every time he's near me...everything gets worse….."

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here now." Hikaru held him close but he doubt he was helping. Xavier shook a little but settled down, not fighting against it for once. He was just so tired he wanted to sleep for days. "Do you want to talk about it?" He wanted to be there for him, he had to be there for him. Vinny, Stella, and Isaac left him in their care and he wasn't going to disappoint them. Now he was starting to get how they felt when he was at his lows. Like a part of them was breaking with him.

"No." Xavier mumbled, tightening his hold on Hikaru. "I'm sorry. I'll tell you eventually…dove knows….I'm just not all here anymore…I haven't been for years." His voice was soft and broken. "I'm trying. I'm trying so hard to open. I want to be better."

"Hey, it's okay. Take your time." Hikaru rubbed his back and Xavier settled down once more, falling into a light sleep. Hikaru kept rubbing his back, trying to find something positive, but all he had were negatives. Xavier would have to return to France for Christmas Break, which meant being stuck on a plane with his father, Clara, Renge, and Monique, for too many hours for him to bare.

He wouldn't know what would happen next. He hopped Xavier's mother would cling onto him and that Jackal would make sure he got better, but it was all up in the air and unknown to the twin.

He hated it.

* * *

While the nap with Hikaru had helped him greatly, it seemed as if all of it was drained away when he saw his father. He avoided his table like the plague, not wanting, and not being able to, hear him speak to him. One more horrible thing and Xavier was sure he break, if he hadn't already.

His hands shook a bit and he needed to steady them. His eyes drifted to the piano and he slowly made his way over to it, surprised a few of the guests and the other club members. He sat down and stared at the keys, not even thinking as he began to play a slow and dark song.

"Oh no." Monique mumbled, catching Yuukio, Haruhi, and Hikaru's attention.

"What?" Haruhi asked, not understanding as he continued to play. She recognized the song, barely, taking a good guess and assuming it was a 1975 song.

"This is not good." She mumbled, starting to worry. She had taken what Xavier had yelled at her that day seriously. She was learning that maybe, maybe he was right. Maybe she had been wrong about him. Maybe she hadn't noticed how much pain he was in. "This song….I know this."

"_I got a plane in the middle of the night, don't you mind? I nearly killed somebody, don't you mind? Don't you mind? I gave you something you can never give back, don't you mind? You've seen your face like a heart attack, don't you mind? Don't you mind?" _His voice was low, broken, and empty. He stared at the keys blankly, hunched over. _"I was late but I arrived. I'm sorry but I'd rather be getting high than watching my family die…" _He looked up at his father at this point, eyes dull and dim.

"He's said that phrase before." Haruhi said, her gut telling her something was terribly wrong. "I didn't realize it was from this song."

"_Exaggerate, you and I. Oh I think I did something terrible to your body, don't you mind? I put your mother through hell, don't you mind? I hurt your brother as well, don't you mind? Don't you mind? Oh I was thinking about killing myself, don't you mind? I love you, don't you mind? Don't you mind?"_

"He always sang this song when he was…." Monique trailed off, watching him closely. "I always knew when he was going to have a break down. He would sing this or listen to it. God, he would listen to this song for days and just lay in bed. Always after a fight with his father. I never realized…how much…." She found it hard to say with the three of them staring at her. "I never realized how hard his father was on him. Honestly, I thought he deserved it before, but now…now I know that I was so wrong. How his father doesn't see something is so obviously wrong with him…it's…" Saying it to Renge had been a bit easier, but admitting to them that she was wrong…it was harder.

"_I put your mother through hell, don't you mind? I hurt your brother as well, don't you mind? Don't you mind? Oh I was thinking 'bout killing myself, don't you mind?"_ His voice asked, eyes begging for some sort of answer, but his father remained silent. _"I love you, don't you mind? Don't you mind?"_

He finished the song and looked down at the keys, his fingers barely ghosting over them as he finished playing.

He stood slowly, shuffling back over to his couch, where Abby was immediately handing him a piece of red velvet cake, desperate to make him feel better. She glared at his father and rubbed Xavier's arm while Misaki poured him some tea, adding the sugar as he liked it. She shot his father a look as well, one of disgust, because they knew. They knew the hell Xavier went through.

* * *

Xavier grabbed the bottle of whiskey hidden in the drawer of his nightstand and took a long gulp, it burned all the way down and felt so good. He wasn't going to even try to be slow or careful. If he ended up blackout drunk then that would be okay. He felt trapped and there was no escape for him.

Well, there was. He didn't know where he was going but the suitcase under his bed was going to get stuffed with clothes and was going to the airport with him.

There was a light knock on his door and he grunted, showing he was not in the mood.

"Xavier." Monique said and he furrowed his brows and unlocked the door. She came in quickly and gave him a worried look when she saw the bottle of whiskey in his hand. "Xavier."

"Let me fucking have this, okay?" He didn't even care how pathetic he sounded. Everything else had been taking from him and this was all he had left. She reached in her pocket and pulled out a key, handing it to him. "The fuck?" He looked at her and then at her.

"The key to my flat my parents gave me for my birthday. It's in London. You should go." She said and surprised him. He took another large sip of the whiskey before tilting his head at her. "Look, I am very sorry for before. I know Christmas break starts in three days, but I don't think you can handle another three days with your father. Go take Hikaru and go to London. I know you were going to run soon anyway." She explained as his eyes widened.

"How'd-"

"Suitcase." She nodded to the luggage that was sticking out from under his bed. "I know you Xavier." She had a small smile on her lips when she said this. Running away from problems wasn't something she endorsed, but Xavier was an exception. He needed to get out of this environment or it would further pollute him. "You should get a move on. Flight leaves soon." With that, she left the room, shutting the door with a soft click behind her. Xavier downed the rest of the bottle in one go and pulled his suitcase out from under the bed.

* * *

Hikaru stared at his tv, wondering if he should call Xavier. He wanted the male to spend the night with him, but the chances of that were slim to none. He was supposed to be thinking of presents to get his mom for Christmas, because of course, the purse she wanted was in London and the designer refused to ship it, so he and Kaoru and his father were out of luck for that present.

He sat up when he heard tapping on his balcony door. Who the hell could be there? He was on the third floor! He got up and opened the door a little, surprised to see Xavier there. He had on his usual black skinnies, some band tee, leather jacket, and beanie, with a smile on his face.

"Xavier, what the hell?" Hikaru asked, letting him in. He noted that he smelled of whiskey. Was he drunk or something? His coordination showed no signs of intoxication. There was no way he climbed the vines and got up here if he was drunk. "What are you doing here?"

"Love, come to London with me!" He exclaimed, surprised Hikaru even more. "C'mon, Wendy, run away with me."

"You're drunk." Hikaru muttered and Xavier shook his head.

"I'm tipsy, not drunk. Seriously, c'mon. I got an extra ticket and you don't have anything better to do, yeah?" He asked cockily, licking his lips. He pulled Hikaru to him, his hands light on the black haired male's waist "C'mon, Wendy, don't you see what you do to me?" He continued, lowering his voice a bit.

"Stop that." Hikaru playful hit him and felt his cheeks get red. "Are you being serious?" He couldn't be serious.

"Hundred and two percent. I can't handle being under the same room as the old bastard and London beckons. Traveling alone is alright but I would much prefer to spend time with you." He kissed his neck slowly. "I've missed you over the past few days, love." Oh no, this was going to be Hikaru's undoing.

"Uh…" Hikaru's mind was going blank. Going to London with Xavier would be great. He would have a blast and get the male all to himself without having to worry about anyone watching them. He leaned in to the kisses, sighing when Xavier sucked at his weak spot on his collar bone. "Let…let me ask my dad." He pulled away from Xavier, who was smirking at him, and hurried out of his room to his dad's study. He knocked before entering, seeing his dad working. "So….I think we're in luck with mom's purse problem."

"Did the designer decide to ship it?" His dad asked, pushing up his glasses. His eyes dimmed when Hikaru shook his head. "Then what's the plan?"

"Well…Xavier, you know him, his mom is best friends with mom, is going to London…tonight…and he offered to let me tag along. I could buy the purse and send it back and mom will love you forever!" He exclaimed, hoping his father would say yes.

He stared a few moments and Hikaru felt nervous. "Sure." He dad said easily, making Hikaru smile.

"Thanks! I'll call you when I land!" He left the study, not believing how easy that was. He should have known. His dad really liked Xavier and his dad really wanted to get that purse. He reentered his room, Xavier was leaning against the couch on his phone. "So when does the plane leave?" Hikaru asked and the smirk was replaced with a smile.

"Whenever you're ready, love." Xavier stood up straight and pulled Hikaru to him again. "Thank you."

Hikaru felt embarrassed at this. It was said with such a gentle tone and so much affection, it threw him for a loop. "Well, I can't let you go running off to London all by yourself! You'll get yourself into trouble."

"Hm, think I'll get in more trouble by bringing you along. Seems I have a horrible habit for kidnapping you hosts and making you travel with me." He replied, keeping Hikaru pressed against him.

"It's not kidnapping if I willingly go, you know." Hikaru told him, rubbing the back of the male's neck slowly. He pulled away to go pull his suitcase out of his closest and pack it. Xavier watched him quietly, only speaking when adding input to what Hikaru was packing.

* * *

"You sure about this, love?" Xavier asked when they stood outside of the airport together.

"Yes!" Hikaru exclaimed, breath showing in the cold winter air. It was so late, yet the airport was busy. He felt so excited right now.

"Alright then. Grab your passport and my hand." Xavier said with a small smirk and held at his hand. "I can make the bad guys good for a weekend."

"I think that part is my line." Hikaru muttered with an eyeroll, but took Xavier's hand, squeezing it.


	34. I'm On The Verge Of Passing Out

**Don't ever take drinks from strangers. Always get it yourself. Always know what you're drinking too.**

**Long chapter is long chapter**

**Ohmygod yes I am a major swiftie I was hoping some of yall would get the last few lines of the last chapter.**

**You guys are so sweet like gods wow I am so lucky to have such sweet readers! Thank you so much for your reviews! They're very encouraging! **

* * *

Hikaru should have known how angry Kaoru would be with him once the male found out his twin was on another continent without telling him. To Hikaru's defense, he didn't have much time and he had Xavier kissing his neck, clouding up his thoughts. It helped that his dad came to his aid and calmed Kaoru down, so that was good. The rest of the club wasn't too happy though, and he knew Xavier was ignoring the constant stream of phone calls for a reason. His father was furious.

"It's so cold." Hikaru complained while Xavier wrapped a scarf around his neck. They had gotten the purse first thing yesterday and shipped it back to Japan, then crashed on the bed and slept for hours. Today they were going out to sight see, mostly for Hikaru.

"Yeah?" Xavier questioned when they stepped out of the apartment building and onto the busy sidewalk. He began to walk and Hikaru hurried to catch up. The city was so large and busy, it was unsettling to him to not have Kaoru beside him. He cautiously reached out and held Xavier's hand. He expected him to pull it away, but Xavier just held his hand back, giving him a soft smile. "Don't need you getting lost."

"So what are we doing today?" Hikaru asked with a wide smile, a bubbling feeling in his gut.

"Whatever you want to do, love." He replied and this made Hikaru delighted. "Is there anything you want to see?"

"Everything!" He exclaimed as they passed by a tour guide building. "Let's go on a tour!" He told Xavier, who shot him a look.

"Eh, Hikaru, I could show you better places than these guys." He wanted to argue more but the look on Hikaru's face made him sigh and let him pull him into the building. A tour was just about to start, so they got the last two spots on it and were ushered onto the double decker bus. Hikaru insisted they sit on the top, and luckily it was a covered top floor so it wasn't freezing cold.

"Is this your first time to London?" An older woman in front of them asked. It seemed they were stuck on a tour with a senior citizen group.

"It is for me." Hikaru replied. He had been a lot of places, but London was not one of them.

"How many times have you been here? It's our senior trip's first time and we want to see all the hot spots but maybe some more hidden gems." She turned to Xavier, who looked up from his phone.

"Ah, I went to school in Manchester for about six years and I came here quite often." He told her and all the old ladies were looking at him like he was the cutest thing. Hikaru guessed they were still enthralled by the accent. "This tour hits all the tourist spots but I'll let you know right now the best thing is to just walk around. I've been to a lot of other countries and I like getting myself lost. Hope in a taxi and get dropped off somewhere and see if I can make it back, yeah?"

"We should do that!" Hikaru exclaimed, holding his arm.

"Sure thing, love. It's quite nippy out, can you handle that?" The ladies all smiled at the two of them, giggling amongst themselves.

"I'm tough!" Hikaru responded as the bus began to move. "Oh yes!"

* * *

Much of the tour they got out and walked and Hikaru was bounding off to go explore, leaving Xavier with many of the old ladies, trying to keep an eye on him.

"He's sure has a lot of energy." One woman, her name was Jen, told Xavier, smiling as Hikaru took a picture of some statue. He was posting everything on his snapchat so all the guests and club members could see his adventure.

"Oh, I know that." Xavier muttered, wanting to smoke, but deciding it was probably best not to around older folk.

"Where are you two from?" Another, this one named Emma, asked. He had no clue why he knew all their names and why they liked him so much. He thought old people were turned off by how he looked.

"I'm from France and he's from Japan. We go to school together." He told them and they nodded their heads, interested. "I was heading back home and making a stop for Christmas presents and I asked if he wanted to tag along."

"Xavier!" Hikaru called excitedly, hurrying up to him. "Take a picture of me for my snapchat!"

"Awah, how about I take a picture of you and your boyfriend? You need some pictures together!" This time it was Judy and Xavier was about to correct her but Hikaru handed her his phone and pulled Xavier over to him, smiling widely. She took the picture and Hikaru thanked her, saving the picture before posting it on his story.

"We look so good! I bet Kaoru is jealous!" He was so happy right now, it made Xavier feel much better. He put his arm around Hikaru's shoulder and gave him a quick kiss on the head. He did it with Stella all the time so he didn't seem the harm in doing it to Hikaru.

"Love you are such a dork." He told Hikaru, making the male's cheeks go pink from the affection. Hikaru loved it and he wanted Xavier to do that all the time. The old ladies 'awed' and giggled and Xavier ignored them, rolling his eyes.

* * *

"Today was so much fun!" Hikaru exclaimed while they sat in bed, eating pizza. He was too tired to go and wait at a restaurant so he showered and Xavier went out for food. He was on Xavier's lap, as he usually was, leaning against the male's chest while munching on pizza and watching a movie on tv. "Those old ladies were really sweet."

"They thought you were adorable." Xavier had his fill of pizza and wrapped his arms around Hikaru, feeling more stable than he had in days. He knew there was hell to pay when he returned home for Christmas but Hikaru was here and he was soaking the good vibes in. What he had done was wrong, and dragging Hikaru off with him was wrong as well, but he was glad Mona suggested it. Being here alone would've done nothing, but having Hikaru here was a major help.

"Well they aren't wrong." Hikaru said with a smirk and finished off the last slice of pizza. He moved the box to the floor and yawned. "So…Monique really is okay with us being here?" He was a bit surprised to find out Monique was the one that pushed him to come to London, even more surprised to find out she told Xavier to take him along.

"Yeah, she never uses it though." Xavier settled back, relaxing into the pillow. His feet hurt and he wanted to go to sleep.

"Don't go to sleep yet!" Hikaru exclaimed and turned around so that he was laying on Xavier. "Zavvvy!" He wrapped his arms around his neck and whined loudly.

"What?" Xavier cracked and eye open and put his arms back around Hikaru. "Love you wear me out."

"But I'm super awake!" Hikaru felt Xavier began to rub his back and he settled comfortably against him.

"It's late." Xavier glanced to the clock on the nightstand. "It's 1:02 in the morning." He muttered and laid his head back down, eyes getting heavy. "And I'm tired. You won't want to get up in the morning if you try to stay up late." He closed his eyes and yawned.

"But….." Hikaru pouted, starting to feel sleepy with the even rise and fall of Xavier's chest and the way his hands rubbed his back.

* * *

Hikaru woke to the smell of cigarette smoke. It confused him for a second, but he slowly opened his eyes, trying not to fall back asleep. He sat up and stretched, lazily looking around the room for Xavier. He saw him out of the balcony, the sun was just rising and he was blowing out smoke, leaning on the railing and looking out on the city.

Hikaru watched him, noticing how at peace he seemed to be. Hikaru's stomach felt like it was doing flips when he looked at the male. A cold breeze sent shivers down the male's spine, however, and he whined loudly, curling up in the blankets. Xavier turned and looked at him, shaking his head. "It's cold!" Hikaru complained and Xavier finished his cigarette and returned inside, closing the door to the balcony. He stripped off his jacket, putting it on a chair while making his way to the bed.

"It was but it was nice." Xavier replied, getting back into bed. Hikaru quickly jumped on him, hoping for warmth, but instead got Xavier's icy skin. "Ah ah ah, you're warm!" Hikaru tried to get away from Xavier but he pulled him against him, not letting him go. Hikaru hit him but Xavier refused to let go. "Now now, love, be nice."

"Not when you're cold as hell!" Hikaru told him with a defiant look. Still, Xavier's skin warmed up and Hikaru settled down, comfortable in his hold. He dosed off while he heard Xavier flip through tv channels.

"You want breakfast?" Xavier asked after a while, waking Hikaru up. He just groaned and nuzzled into Xavier's chest. "I take that as a no."

"I don't want to leave this bed. It's raining out." Hikaru heard the rain hit the windows hard and there was no way in hell he was going to go out in that.

"But what about adventure? You said you didn't want to spend your trip stuck here." Xavier grunted when Hikaru pinched his chest. "Then I'll go out and get the food." He pushed Hikaru off of him and got out of the bed, going to put his clothes on.

Hikaru idly watched him, stretching out on the bed like he owned the place. "Be back in a few." Xavier told him and put on his jacket and left the flat. Hikaru sighed and rolled over in bed, checking his phone. It was Sunday, so he figured he should call Kaoru or Haruhi but he just pushed his phone back on the night stand and played with the remote, flipping through channels. He was perfectly content like this. After yesterday, he realized being so far away from the others wasn't as bad as he originally thought. He got all of Xavier's undivided attention and was smothered in affection. It was perfect.

"Back." Xavier called twenty minutes later. He looked drenched but he didn't complain about it. Despite not having lived here for a year, he was used to the weather. He set the bag of food down on the counter and went to make himself some tea. "You want any tea?"

"Yeah." Hikaru replied, smelling the food. "What did you get?"

"Ham and cheese scones." He popped them in the microwave to reheat them as he put the kettle on. "It was so busy out there, I forgot that people in London never let the weather stop them. Crazy ninnies. Who would want to go out on a day like this? Guess it's because the weather is quite often like this. Dreadfully dreary."

"Your accent is getting stronger." Hikaru didn't mind this. The accent was attractive. He grinned when Xavier brought over the food and tea and scarfed it down while Xavier ate his slowly, watching the tv. "So hey…what….what happened at dinner with your dad?"

"It was overall horrible." Xavier set down his cup, already having finished his food. "Dad just doesn't think depression is a real mental illness and he thinks I'm over reacting. Believe me, I don't want to be like this."

"I don't think you're bad at all." Hikaru snuggled up to him, knowing that while Xavier sometimes acted like he hated it, he honestly enjoyed it. "Your father is an asshole."

"Thanks, I know he is. It's just difficult being around him. I know I'm going to get in trouble for dashing off like that, but I couldn't stand being near him anymore. It's incredibly draining and it's not like there's much left to drain of me." He put an arm around Hikaru and kissed his shoulder before moving to his neck. Hikaru didn't stop him and shifted himself so Xavier had better access to his neck.

"I don't like it when your dad is around…I don't like not getting to touch you." Hikaru complained with a sigh as Xavier's lips continued up his jaw. He felt Xavier's lip ring drag along his skin and he shivered from the cold metal, eager to feel it on his lips.

"Good thing we're all alone." Xavier said before kissing him. Hikaru was far too eager to be slow and nibbled at Xavier's bottom lip, wanting to speed up the kiss. Xavier ran his tongue along Hikaru's lip and the male moaned happily, parting his lips for Xavier's tongue. "Hm, I've been craving you."

Hikaru moaned at this when Xavier's hands travelled down and it was clear how much he had been craving him. "Yeah?" Hikaru asked against his mouth.

"Of course. Only made it worse when my bastard of a father banned me from seeing you." He complained and moved to Hikaru's ear, biting at it. His hands pulled up Hikaru's shirt and Hikaru sat back to help him pull it off before pressing against him again. Xavier wanted to hear Hikaru and please him. He felt guilty that the male was getting in trouble for his selfish actions.

He let one finger run along the elastic of Hikaru's boxers, while his mouth sucked on Hikaru's chest, leaving red marks everywhere and making Hikaru pant and let out little moans. Hikaru shifted so he was on his knees, one of either side of Xavier's lap, arms around his neck. Xavier moved his hand from the elastic and he palmed against his crotch, feeling his hardening cock under the fabric.

"Xavier." Hikaru moaned and grinded against his hand. He whined when Xavier slowed his touches down and bit down on his shoulder, making Xavier grunt.

"Impatient." Xavier murmured with a soft chuckle, enjoying seeing Hikaru like this. The male was just so cute. It felt like he could never get enough of him, and he knew he'd end up in trouble if he kept this up. He continued to palm him but moved his mouth up to kiss Hikaru, who pulled him close into a deep kiss, moaning and grinding against his hand. Teasing him was so much fun, especially when his face scrunched up and his cheeks went pink.

"Zavy…" He whined and Xavier decided to be nice and stop teasing him. He reached his hands into Hikaru's boxers and pulled out his cock, slowly pumping it. Hikaru tightened his hold on Xavier and bit his lip. It felt so good, especially when Xavier picked up his pace. "A-Ah!"

"That feel good, hm?" Xavier asked, hot breath against Hikaru's neck. Hikaru nodded his head in response as he felt Xavier pull on his cock, slowing down before speeding up his hand again. Hikaru thrusted his hips up against the rhythm and moaned into Xavier's shoulder, eyes beginning to shut. Hikaru felt like he was going to melt as he held onto Xavier tighter, wanting to be closer to release.

"Don't slow down." Hikaru felt his body began to tense up as Xavier listened and sped up his pumping, wanting to hear Hikaru. Xavier's thumb swiped over the silt, smearing the precum over the head, and he whined, wanting him to do it again. He bucked his hips and grunted when Xavier repeated the action.

"C'mon, love, feels really good, doesn't it?" He asked and Hikaru let out a moan, not sure he could speak. "Much better. You goin' cum?" Hikaru was turned on by how Xavier spoke. His body was inching closer to release.

"Y-Yeah.." He moaned out and felt Xavier's other hand on his ass, squeezing it.

"Are ya, love?" Xavier bit at his ear and Hikaru wasn't going to last long.

"Goin.." He moaned and bit Xavier's shoulder again as he came. Xavier continued to pump him until his moans turned into whimpers and he stopped. Hikaru stayed against him, mind reeling.

"Heh, you okay?" Xavier questioned and Hikaru nodded his head slowly. "Let me get you cleaned up." He gently pushed Hikaru off of him and went off to the bathroom, grabbing a towel and bringing it back, wiping off his own shirt, not too worried about it, and then Hikaru's chest. Hikaru pulled his boxers back up sleepily. "Want to nap?" Xavier asked, getting back in bed. Hikaru latched onto him, nodding his head again. The rain was putting him to sleep and he drifted off.

* * *

An annoying ringing woke Hikaru. He groaned and cracked open one eye, seeing Xavier fully awake, probably didn't fall asleep in the first place, looking at his phone with a confused expression. He sighed and ignored the number, his free hand rubbing Hikaru's back.

This cycle continued and it was pissing Hikaru off. Every time he drifted back to sleep, someone was calling Xavier. He put it on silent, but still, the vibrations it made pissed him off. "If you don't answer it, I will." Hikaru growled. The vibration stopped.

"Uhm, hello?" Xavier asked, not recognizing the number.

"Hey!" A female exclaimed, giggling. Hikaru opened the other eye. "Xavierrrrrrr, we didn't know you were back in London! You definitely need to party with us!"

"Ah, no thanks, Bianca." He shook his head, eyes watching the show on the tv. "I've got my mate with me and he doesn't do parties."

"We saw! He's such a cutie! Post more pictures with him!" She continued, loudly, further pissing Hikaru off, but he felt pretty good knowing this unknown girl thought he was a cutie. "Awah, c'mon, let the lad have a good time! Besides, all of us miss you! Please won't you come?"

Hikaru was interested in this. He wanted to see the parties Xavier spent a majority of his time at while he was attending school around here. "Do you want to go?" He asked Xavier, surprising the male, who hadn't realized Hikaru was awake.

"Hm? Nah, love." He shook his head and the girl giggled again. Was she drunk already?

"Awah, is he your boyfriend? You must bring him by, we all want to meet him! He's got to be pretty special to tame you!" She continued and Xavier grimaced, furrowing his brows.

"Not my boyfriend, you giggling git." He grunted but this didn't stop her.

"Let's go to the party." Hikaru said and Bianca agreed with him, hearing him over the phone. "Got nothing else to do tonight."

"He's totally right! Zave, c'mon, you know I throw the best parties!" She continued to try and egg him on, and Hikaru wasn't helping Xavier much here.

"Fine." He muttered and she squealed. He held the phone away from his ear, shooting Hikaru a look.

"Lovely! I'll text you the address in case you forgot it! Ta ta for now!" With that, Bianca was gone. Xavier groaned and put his phone on the nightstand, obviously not happy.

"Hikaru, why would you do that?" He asked, looking back to the male now. "I really don't want to take you to this party. It's nothing but bad news."

"But I want to see what parties you went to over here." Hikaru said as he sat up, cracking his back. "You always talk about them in the club, so I'm curious."

"Fine fine, but you stay with me the entire time with there, you got it?" Xavier told him sternly, not knowing if this is a good idea. "You can't go running off. If the cops show, I need you with me so I can get us out of there, and I don't trust any of those idiots with you."

This made Hikaru smile.

* * *

Hikaru kept close to Xavier as they walked down the sidewalk, getting closer to a house that had loud music and people pouring out of it. The people in front of the house and in the ally next to it were smoking, who knows what, and talking. A few nodded to Xavier and he nodded back, both hands in his pockets.

"We don't have to stay if you don't want to." He told Hikaru when they stepped up the stairs and entered the house. The hallway was filled with people as they maneuvered through it, Xavier making sure Hikaru was either right next to him or behind him.

"Xavier!" A girl with bouncy red curls exclaimed when they got into the living room, where the music was coming from.

"Hey Bianca." Xavier muttered, not as excited to see her as she was to see him. It was a large room with chairs everywhere and the L-Section couch filled with people. The girl hugged him, a red solo cup in her hands, a few other girls hurried over, all gushing over Xavier, asking him questions.

Hikaru already wanted to go. It smelled awful, the music was too loud, and the girls kept touching Xavier's arm.

"Who is this?" Bianca asked and the group looked at Hikaru. He shot them all looks, feeling nervous but annoyed.

"Hikaru." Xavier said with a pat to the male's shoulder. "He's my mate I brought from Japan."

"Oh!" Another girl exclaimed. "You are just the cutest! Awah!" The girls all squealed, pleased with Hikaru. He wasn't as pleased with them, because the way they were calling him cute made it seem like they thought he was a little kid. Then again, who knew how old these girls were? Xavier mentioned he hung out with older crowds. "You want a drink, Hikaru?"

"Sorry, ladies, no drinks for him." Xavier told them, shaking his head. "We aren't planning to be here too long so there's really no point."

"Come on, Xavier, lighten up a bit." One girl bumped hips with him, her drink sloshing out of her cup some. "You go get you a drink, and one for Hikaru too!" Xavier glanced at Hikaru, not eager to leave him. "We'll hang out with him, don't be so protective. We'll make sure he's okay!"

"I'll be right back, okay?" Xavier mumbled into his ear and Hikaru nodded his head. The girl pushed Xavier off with a giggle and Hikaru looked after him, not knowing what he was supposed to do.

"That's so sweet." Bianca sighed and the other girls agreed. "Oh, yeah, this is Tammy, Whitney, Shelia, Meg, and Grace." She pointed at the girls one by one, but Hikaru doubted he was going to remember their names. Bianca yanked him over to the couch and pushed him down right into the curve of the couch. She plopped next to him, Shelia next to her, Tammy on his other side with Whitney next to her, while Meg and Grace pulled up chairs.

"Xavier is so protective of you. I've never seen him like that before!" Tammy exclaimed, and Hikaru could tell she had one too many to drink. Shelia noticed this too and took her cup away.

"You want it?" She offered it to Hikaru, who took it and looked in the cup at the liquid. "It's just rum and coke." He took a small sip, and after deciding it was okay, took a larger sip. "Xavier was never like that with me."

"He wasn't like that with anyone, you know that." Bianca muttered, taking another sip of her drink. "We got plenty so drink up!" She told Hikaru with a big smile. "I always knew Xavier leaned more towards blokes."

"Have you all been with him?" Hikaru asked with another sip.

"No, though he tried." Grace muttered, rolling her brown eyes. "Only Shelia, Whitney, and Bianca were easy enough for him." The three girls she mentioned all glared at her, but she didn't care. "Oh come on, you know it's true." Hikaru felt a little sick after hearing that. He thought being here would be sort of fun, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to meet with all the other people Xavier had knocked around with.

He shouldn't care, but something in him wasn't happy. He finished up the cup, wanting to leave the party now. Where the hell was Xavier?

"You two seem really cute together!" Tammy beamed, patting Hikaru's knee.

"We're not together." Hikaru told them, shaking his head. He fiddled with his cup and Shelia poured the rest of her drink into his cup. She motioned to a guy, pointing at her empty cup, and he nodded his head and went to get her more.

"You're not?" Tammy asked and he really didn't like the look she was giving him. He took a swig of the new drink, not pleased with its bitter taste. This was straight up alcohol. She kept her hand on his knee as Whitney was pulled away by some girl, who winked at her and Whitney giggled. Grace went after her, sighing. She must be the sober friend. What a trooper. Meg plopped down on the couch next to Tammy, taking Whitney's spot.

"Uh, no. I just came along with him here." He didn't want to tell them what they were. He wasn't really sure of it anyway.

"How old are you?" Bianca asked and Hikaru wanted Xavier to come back.

"I'm sixteen." He mumbled and they all gasped.

"You're so young!" Tammy exclaimed and Hikaru took another long sip. It burned his throat but it gave him something focus on. "Oh wow. I didn't think Xavier went lower!"

"He just said they weren't together." Shelia reminded her and Tammy giggled, patting his knee. He took another sip when she moved her hand up a little and Hikaru glanced behind him, not seeing Xavier anywhere. What was taking him so long? The guy brought Shelia a new drink, and apparently one for Hikaru as well. Now he had two cups in his hands and still no Xavier. He didn't like the drink, but he didn't want to be holding two cups, so he downed it and place the new cup in the old one.

"Xavier seems so different!" Tammy exclaimed and Hikaru was not in the mood for this

"Yeah well he doesn't sleep around anymore." He said bluntly and he was sure, if these girls were not drinking, they would have gotten offended. He was ready to get up and leave, the alcohol already making him feel a little less nervous. But he didn't want to get up and get lost in the house, because Xavier was expecting him to stay put. His options weren't the greatest.

All he could do was sip his drink and wait for Xavier. He didn't know what he was drinking but his mind was starting to feel weird. There was no way he was drunk off two drinks, but then again, he didn't know much about drinking. He probably shouldn't be drinking this unknown alcohol, he guessed it was whiskey by the smell, but he wasn't comfortable and it gave him something to do, other than trying to ignore the girls as they talked and ignore Tiffany's hand.

He got to the bottom of his cup and was handed another. He didn't know by who, but the girls began to giggle about Xavier and what they used to do together and he didn't want to hear that so he just kept sipping the drink until that one was all gone.

"Xavier isn't as fun as he used to be." Bianca pouted and Hikaru listened back in to the conversation. "Took me forever to convince him to come tonight!"

"And he didn't even want a drink. By now he would've found a person to snog under the stairwell." Shelia agreed, nursing her drink in her hands. Hikaru wanted to retort, tell them Xavier was above anyone at this party, but no words came out. His brain felt like it was processing things more slowly and he had a hazy feeling.

"Maybe he went off with someone?" Tiffany questioned and Hikaru felt his gut drop. Had he ditched Hikaru to run off with someone? "He's taking forever!"

He stood and stumbled a bit but regained his composure. "Bathroom?" He questioned and Shelia pointed into the hallway. He didn't find it helpful, but he went anyway, feeling dizzy. He shouldn't have drank those four cups. They were too big and too full of stuff he knew was not good for him. He should've stayed on the couch, but what good was it doing him anyway? He didn't want to think about Xavier ditching him to go run off with someone else.

He amazingly found the bathroom and no one was in it, so he wasted no time and went in. When he came out, Xavier still wasn't in the living room and he wanted to whine. Where was he? Why was he taking so long? He didn't leave him, right? Was Tiffany right?

"Hey! You're Xavier's new plaything, right?" A female asked, a male with black hair in a bun standing with her by the stairs. "Awah, you're a real cutie!"

"Hehe, remember that time Xavier slid down the banister without spelling his drink?" The male asked and Hikaru couldn't help but listen because he wanted to know how Xavier was. "Then he ended up bangin' that catholic girl in the closet, right?"

"I thought that was the time we played beer pong for three hours?" She asked and Hikaru didn't want to hear about Xavier and that catholic girl and walked off, heading towards the kitchen.

"Hey, mate!" A guy patted him on the back when he got to the kitchen and handed him a new drink. "Ain't seen you 'round here? Who ya with?"

"Xavier." He spoke, his voice sounding a little shaky.

"Oh! You're his friend?" The guy asked with a chuckle. "Eh mate, he's a crazy lad, ain't he?" He directed this to the group hovering by the chips. They all nodded their heads, chuckling. "We had a lot of fun times with that bloke!"

"He was always down to party." Another male said and Hikaru started drinking, not sure he could handle anymore stories. "That time he played spin the bottle and made out with the pizza delivery guy?"

They kept going and Hikaru kept drinking because god he didn't want to hear these things, but he couldn't stop listening. When he got to the bottom of his cup he was considering another, but the group began to call him 'Xavier's new plaything' just like the girl before and he needed to get out of here.

He brushed past people, feeling scared and upset and he wanted Kaoru here with him, but he was thousands of miles away.

"Uh, hey, mate, you alright?" A male he bumped into asked. He had messy brown hair and big brown eyes, with a concerned look on his face. "Woah, hey…" He put his hands on Hikaru's arms, trying to get him to hold still. "Mate?"


	35. The Blood Is On Your Tongue

**Haha, becoming an author would be super cool and I'd love to do that but it'd probably be more of a side line thing and all my characters would be gay and blonde because all my characters end up like that? **

**Thank you for the reviews, favs, and follows!**

**ARE YALL WORRIED HIKARU IS IN DANGER WITH THIS MYSTERY MAN?!**

**ARE YOU?!**

**LIKE XAVIER BUSTING DOWN THE DOOR AND SAVING HIS ASS WOULD BE SO COOL AND ROMANTIC**

**hehe**

* * *

"No I'm not." Hikaru growled, ready to push past him, but the male held tightly onto his arm.

"Hey, wait, you're Hikaru, aren't you?" The male asked and Hikaru nodded his head, confused. How did this guy know his name? "Oh, shit, you drank, didn't you?"

"Noooooo!" Hikaru told him, not meaning to make it sound so slurred.

"C'mon with me. You need to sober up before I give you back to Xavier." The male guided him out of the room, grabbed his coat and someone else's coat from the closet, and up the stairs, scaring Hikaru. Who was this guy? Why was he taking him upstairs? He struggled, making a whining sound, but the guy didn't let up. "Hey, relax, mate, ain't 'goin hurt you." The male said and opened up a window, punching out the screen and crawling out onto the fire escape. He tugged Hikaru with him and Hikaru took a deep breath of the cold air, relaxing. The male put his own coat on before handing the unknown coat to Hikaru.

Hikaru was freezing so he took it eagerly and slipped it on, needing a little help from the male.

"Who….?" Hikaru asked as the male leaned against the railing and then sat down on the grate. He patted the spot next to him, and Hikaru stumbled a bit, but plopped down as well.

"Uh, I'm William." He said with a small smile. "Used to be Xavier's old roommate."

"The one who smoked crack off a stripper's stomach!" Hikaru exclaimed and he groaned loudly, holding his head in his hands.

"Why the hell is that always the first thing he tells people about? Not that I'm a straight A student, at the top of my class, or that I can play over ten instruments. Nope, all anyone knows is that I did crack ONCE and of course God decided that I was going to die for that, despite how great of a person I am." He ranted, getting angry.

Hikaru relaxed a little more, knowing that this guy was a close friend to Xavier.

"Anyway….why are you drunk? Xavier told me he was getting you two sodas but he kept getting chatted up and finally he asked me to retrieve you so you two could leave." William questioned and explained a bit, making Hikaru feel guilty. "He felt bad for leaving you with those airheads."

"Oh…" Hikaru grumbled, mind still foggy and racing. "I…kept hearing stories about him I didn't wanna hear…" Was this what it was like for Xavier? Drinking to try and forget the things he heard? The things he felt?

"Don't listen to them." William turned more to face him, looking at how glossy Hikaru's eyes were. "Hey, seriously Hikaru, don't listen to what they say about Xavier. They don't know him like you and I do."

"Yeah but…" He clenched his fist, the fresh air beginning to clear his head. "I….I don't...they kept saying he ditched me to go off with someone and I didn't believe it at first but…..all those stories."

"Xavier would never do that." William said sternly, before standing. "Hold on, let me get you some water." He quickly left and Hikaru stared out at the alley, watching people smoke and idly chat. Before he realized it William was back with a tall cup of water, forcing it into Hikaru's hands before he took his spot again. "Drink up. You need to sober up a little or Xavier will not be pleased when I return you."

"Hmp." Hikaru muttered, not carrying if Xavier was mad, but he gulped down the water anyway.

"I meant what I said before, Hikaru. Xavier would never leave you like you think he did, or how they claim he did. First time I went to a party, Xavier refused to leave my side….and after that I told him I was fine, and I was the one that had to look out for him." William started and Hikaru listened intently. "It's just that those people down there….they don't know Xavier. All they saw was smooth, drunk, carefree Xavier. He was only like that at these parties. They never got to see Xavier after an argument with his father on the phone, or a Xavier that refused to eat…one that never wanted to pick up his guitar, one that barely got out of bed some days."

Hikaru lowered his eyes, guilty of believing those people.

"But you know he would never leave you like that to dry. I get it, the alcohol and having to hear all of their loud mouths can really mess with how you think. I just want to make sure you know that Xavier wouldn't do that." William said this more firmly, making sure Hikaru understood. "When…when I went to this one party….I was so strung out and exhausted from exams. I never drink at parties or get high or make out, but I ended up in the room with these strippers and all these people I barely knew. Xavier and I got split in a crowd and here I was in my cardigan with pink stripes on it and…I don't know what happened."

"You snorted coke off her stomach." Hikaru muttered and William shot him a look.

"Mate I meant I don't know what happened that made me wanna do that!" He exclaimed, embarrassed. "I remember doing it and I remember fading out and how no one in that room cared or realized I was dying. I heard Xavier yelling my name and shaking me and screaming for someone to call the ambulance as he tried to keep my heart from stopping. I remember him riding with me and holding my hand and blaming himself for never looking out for me and making me look out for him, and I remember him talking to my parents about how I had never done this before and that I had to have been pressured into it and I remember my mother crying and Xavier crying."

Hikaru stayed silent, letting William talk.

"He came and visited me every day I was in the hospital and would stay all day with me even when I told him class was more important. He refused to leave me alone again. He was so scared something like that would happen again, even though I reassured him it never would. I was upset we didn't get to be room mates after that year, but he still texted me every day, even now, we talk at least once a week. He's never stopped looking out for me." William sighed, rubbing his hands together. "Xavier isn't a drinker and someone easy to get with. Well, okay, he sort of is, but he's so loyal and caring to his friends and when he asked me to please look for you and bring you to him he was so worried and panicked that you thought he ditched you."

Hikaru remained quiet, mind rushing over what William had said.

"Plus, he carried me when I failed a test and got black out drunk and stayed up with me all night when I got sick….apparently that was a crazy night too." He chuckled, lightening the mood a little. "He's always there for you." Hikaru stared at the smokers in the alley way, a shiver running down his spine. "He cares about you."

Hikaru felt his heart stop for a second and he slowly shifted his gaze to William. He was looking at Hikaru, eyes scanning over Hikaru's expression. His own expression softened and he patted Hikaru's knee. "He does. Don't forget that, even when he's being difficult and doesn't want to eat and even when he's ignoring you. He cares about you and I hope you care enough about him to help him through it all."

"I-I do." Hikaru mumbled, nodding his head. William's eyes were deep and Hikaru felt like he could read his mind.

"Heyyyyyyyy, Willlyyyyyy!" A drunk girl hollered from the window. "Uh oh, you out here with Xavier's pet?" She questioned with a giggle.

"Oh yes, tell him I'm snogging his bloke and tell him he can join us if he'd like!" William called back and she waved, leaving the window.

"Sorry 'bout that one, pet." He chuckled and smirked, rolling his eyes. "What is the name Xavier calls you? I figured pet, and I guess everyone else here did too. He'll hear about us snogging out here and be up here immediately. I hope he trusts me enough to know I would not snog you."

"I'm picky about who I kiss." Hikaru replied and this made William laugh. Hikaru smiled too, liking William.

"Ah, this doesn't look like you two are snogging." Xavier said from the window. Both males turned to look at him and he moved through the window sill, one leg at a time, and hurried over to them. "Love, are you alright?" He asked, reaching out his hand to Hikaru. Hikaru slowly took it, letting Xavier help him up. He began to feel dizzy again and leaned against Xavier, who wrapped an arm around him to steady him. "You're freezing….whose coat is this?"

"He had been drinking." William stood, a small smile on his face as he saw how Xavier looked at Hikaru. "I grabbed a random coat for him and brought him out here to help sober him up a bit so you wouldn't be too angry."

"How much?" Xavier asked Hikaru, putting a warm hand on Hikaru's cold cheek. Hikaru leaned into it, closing his eyes with a yawn. He was suddenly feeling tired, William and he's talk having worn him out. His brain was tired of thinking.

"I don't know….they kept talking…..I kept drinking." Hikaru mumbled, sighing when Xavier rubbed his cheek with his thumb.

"Can you walk, love?" Xavier questioned and when Hikaru shook his head slowly, he sighed. "Alright, get on my back." He crouched down and Hikaru climbed up, wrapping his limps around him to keep him hoisted on his back. "Mate, I really owe you." He said this to William, heading to the window with him.

"No no, I still owe you for saving me." William said, going in the window first and helping Xavier out with Hikaru. "He's a good lad. I can't believe you brought him here."

"Didn't want to, he wanted to come." Xavier stepped carefully down the steps, ignoring some cat calls he received. "You leavin' too?"

"Only came because I heard you'd be here. Next time you're in town, hit me up and we can meet somewhere….not here." William chuckled and opened up the closet downstairs, digging through the coats for Hikaru's and for Xavier's. "What does his look like?"

"Eh, it's navy blue." He set Hikaru down, who whined and leaned against the stairs. Xavier put his own coat on and took off the one of Hikaru, tossing it to the ground, not caring who it belonged too. William found Hikaru's and Xavier put it on the male, zipping and buttoning it up, earning some 'awhs' from a few girls. He ignored them and let Hikaru back on his back. "William, seriously though, I owe you so much for finding him and keeping him safe."

"Mate, don't worry about it. I know you care a lot about him." He shrugged and held the front door open for Xavier, the cold air hitting their faces once more. "'Love', eh?"

"Hm?" Xavier mumbled, careful to go down the steps once more. "I call everyone love."

"Yeah, but…." William trailed off, not knowing if Xavier realized how fondly he said it. "Ah, nothing, you're right." He held out his hand, hailing a cab for them.

* * *

Hikaru woke up the next day by running into the bathroom and throwing up into the toilet. Xavier was right behind him, rubbing his back. "I feel like shit."

"That's what happens when you drink." Xavier said, trying to keep his voice low so it wouldn't hurt Hikaru's head. "C'mere, drink this." He handed him a glass of water and Hikaru slowly drank it, still not feeling better.

"I drank?" He asked, confused. His head was pounding and there was an annoying ringing in his ears. "What?"

"I don't know what you drank, but it was some serious shit. You feel like you're goin' throw up again?" Xavier asked and Hikaru shook his head. He had thrown up three times and he prayed that was it. Xavier slowly lifted him up and Hikaru leaned against the sink, needing to brush his teeth.

"Urg." He groaned and brushed his teeth, getting the awful taste out of his mouth. Once he was done, he leaned against Xavier, too tired and not stable enough to move. Xavier lifted him up, carrying him bridal style out of the bathroom. Hikaru just whined and buried his face in the crook of Xavier's neck, lights hurting his eyes. Xavier turned them off and carried him to the bed, setting him down. "I'm going to get you some powerade or something, got it? You go back to sleep."

* * *

Hikaru woke up to see Xavier outside on the phone with someone, cigarette in his hand. He saw a powerade on the nightstand and he uncapped the bottle and drank it down. His head felt much better and he wasn't feeling too sick. He groaned when the door opened, letting in the cold air.

"You awake?" Xavier asked, shutting the door and setting his phone down on the table as he asked this. He took of his jacket and beanie, tossing them onto the table and walked over to Hikaru. "You feeling any better?"

"Urg….sort of." Hikaru complained, rubbing his face as Xavier sat down on the bed. Hikaru immediately attached to him, wanting to be held. "I'm sorry about last night….I didn't mean…I just…they kept talking…"

"I know. Stories about me are hard to resist especially when I was so stupid and careless." Xavier mumbled, pulling Hikaru to him. "I hope...you don't think differently of me." Xavier felt embarrassed because god knows what Hikaru was told. He didn't want him scared off.

"No, I don't." Hikaru told him with a small smile. "William spoke highly of you, you know. I really like him. He was funny and nice. I don't see how you two are good friends. You two seem totally different."

"Ah, yeah, we are, but we were forced to be room mates and…..things happen. We clicked." Xavier shrugged, warming up thanks to Hikaru.

"Who were you on the phone with?" Hikaru asked, changing the subject. Xavier sighed.

"My father. I couldn't ignore his calls any longer." Xavier didn't know what he was expecting, but he knew there would be hell to pay when he returned to France. "I should have known how angry he would have been with the ways I embarrass him every day I am alive and breathing but alas, I assumed maybe, he would…he would let up a little."

Hikaru opened his mouth but his phone started to ring, cutting him off.

"Eh, looks like it's your brother." Xavier handed Hikaru his phone and scooted out from behind him, getting off the bed. "I'm goin' go smoke." He pulled on his jacket and beanie, grabbing his lighter and a cigarette again before he shuffled out to the balcony, giving Hikaru a little privacy.

"But you just…." He trailed off as he watched Xavier light up again. He sighed and answered the phone. "Hey." Hikaru greeted, eyes wondering to Xavier as he lit up. "What's up?"

"When are you coming home?" Kaoru asked, his voice settling Hikaru's nerves. He missed his twin a lot, and the others too. "Looks like you and Xavier are having a lot of fun."

"Yeah, it's really cool here." Hikaru replied, looking away when Xavier glanced at him. He felt his cheeks get red at being caught staring. "Uh, I'll be home soon." He actually didn't know when he was going to go home. Winter break was starting for his school, and Christmas was in a few days, so he figured it would be soon. "I'll ask Xavier and let you know."

"You aren't drinking, right?" This was Yuukio's voice now, probably standing right next to Kaoru.

"What? No. Xavier isn't letting me." He did drink, but, if Xavier had been there, he wouldn't have. "Hey, Yuukio."

"Sorry to barge into the conversation like that, I just wanted to make sure. How is Xavier doing?" Yuukio now took the phone completely from Kaoru, taking over the conversation. "Please let him know I'll be at his father's Christmas party, so will Monique, so we'll be there for him. I know he's probably dreading it and I do not blame him. Running off was not a wise idea but Monique thought it was for the best and now that I have heard her reasoning I find it difficult to disagree with. Okay, okay, here, have the phone back." There was shuffling and Kaoru was back on the phone again.

"Tell Yuukio I'll tell him." Hikaru started, eyes drifting back to Xavier. He ran his fingers through his hair, tousling up as he blew out smoke, overlooking the city below them. He looked so handsome.

"Are you listening to me?" Kaoru asked and Hikaru realized he had zoned out completely.

"I didn't catch the last little bit…." He mumbled, not admitting that he hadn't heard the entire thing.

"I was saying you missed our secret santa we had in the club." Kaoru started up again and this time Hikaru was listening. "Haruhi said she tried to call you the other day but you didn't pick up and you haven't called or texted her back?"

Hikaru's face flushed at that. She had called in the middle of Xavier's mouth against his ear and his hand down his boxers. Hikaru was far too busy to even think about his phone buzzing on the night stand and afterwards he was snuggled up with Xavier and didn't want to bother with it.

"I was a little busy yesterday and last night." Hikaru didn't know what else to say. 'Xavier was jerking me off and then I went and got drunk'? Uh, no.

"Too busy to answer her call?" Kaoru asked as Xavier came back inside, shrugging off his jacket, giving Hikaru a questioning look. "What were you doing that you were too busy to answer her call or text her back?"

"Things." Hikaru's entire face was red and he tried not to look at the smirk that was growing on Xavier's face. "Ah, I got to go, but I'll call you back soon and tell you when I'm coming home. Love you!" Kaoru replied with a 'love you too' and they ended the call. "You are a dick!"

"Whose call did you ignore?" Xavier asked, standing by the bed. Hikaru sat up and put his phone on the night stand, sitting cross legged on the bed.

"Haruhi's." Hikaru answered and Xavier's face remained the same. He didn't look jealous or angry and this somewhat bothered Hikaru. "We were in the middle of things and it just slipped my mind."

"Understood. You should give her a ring though, sure ya miss her." Xavier told him, nodding his head. Spending time with Hikaru was great, but he wasn't the object of Hikaru's affection and he didn't want Hikaru to ignore Haruhi for him. "I'm goin' hop in the shower."

"I'll call her later, I wanna shower." Hikaru said, getting off the bed and skipping over to the bathroom. "Shower time Zavvvvvyyyy!"

"Mate." Xavier followed him, rolling his eyes. The shower was nice and it could easily fit the two of them, but he wasn't too sure if this was a good idea. Hikaru already had his boxers off and the shower going when Xavier got in there. Xavier just sighed and stripped off his own clothes, giving in to the black haired male.

Hikaru got in first and Xavier joined after, letting the warm water hit him while he reached for his shampoo. "We gotta redye your hair soon." He mumbled when he glanced at Hikaru's wet hair. "Unless you don't want it black anymore?"

"No, I like it black a lot." Hikaru told him as he gave Xavier a look. The male rolled his eyes but put shampoo into his hands and began washing Hikaru's hair. Hikaru hummed, leaning against him with a smile.

"Might as well before I send ya back home." Xavier needed to send him back home soon. He was going to have to go to France and deal with the mess he had made by running away. "We'll have to look up flights after this. Getting a flight might be difficult since it's so close to Christmas. What a mess."

"Hm…" Hikaru mumbled. Xavier's hands massaged his scalp and he felt like he could fall asleep. He was excited to go back home for the holidays, but he was worried about Xavier. "Yuukio said she and Mona are going to be at your dad's Christmas party." Xavier rinsed the soap out of his hair, using one hand to cup over eyes so the water wouldn't get into them, before he washed his own hair. "Lemme." Hikaru reached up and ran his fingers through Xavier's hair and along the shaved sides of his head.

"Ah, good." Xavier sighed, relieved. "They'll make it a tad more bearable before Jackal comes and gets me." Xavier leaned into his touches, closing his eyes. He had so much on his mind and Hikaru's touches were relaxing him. Hikaru rinsed out the water and put conditioner in his hair and continued to work it through his hair.

"Are you going to be okay?" Hikaru asked. He wouldn't be happy going home if he knew Xavier was going to have a horrible break.

"Ah, don't worry about it." Xavier murmured, keeping his eyes closed. "Love I'll be okay. I've been through worse before. I'll be going to the States for New Years and I spend Christmas with my mom's side more anyway."

"Yeah…..but…" Hikaru muttered and Xavier opened his eyes and put his own hands on Hikaru's hands.

"I am. Thanks for worryin'." Xavier gave him a smile before reaching for the conditioner. "Now let me finish your hair. We'll need to let this conditioner sit so your hair is all good for tomorrow."

* * *

"Personally I like Home Alone." Xavier started as Hikaru used the remote to maneuver through the lists of Christmas movies they could watch. Hikaru was sitting up on the bed, with one of Xavier's sweaters on. Xavier was in the kitchen area, making hot chocolate for the both of them.

"Not a Christmas movie." Hikaru muttered, reaching into the bag of cookies that was next to him. "The Grinch!"

"No, hate that movie. Excuse me? It is too a Christmas movie." Xavier argued, coming over to the bed and setting the mugs on the nightstand. "White Christmas then."

"Never heard of it." Hikaru said as Xavier sat on the bed. Hikaru clicked on the movie and scooted over to Xavier, settling next to him. Xavier handed him his hot cocoa and took a few cookies for himself. "How old is this movie?"

"It's old but good. Stella really loves it. We all have different Christmas favorites." Xavier told him, munching on the cookies. "We'll watch Home Alone next. It's so funny!" Hikaru looked at Xavier, who was now engrossed in the movie. He had a small smile on his lips and Hikaru snuggled closer, resting his head on Xavier's shoulder.

"Okay, fine. We'll watch it next." Hikaru felt his stomach flip when Xavier smiled at him. "Only because I think the movie is funny too." Plus, the movie they were watching now was actually very good. It kept Hikaru entertained and Xavier sang along with the songs and Hikaru loved his voice.

By the end of the movie, Hikaru knew more facts about the movie than he thought he would even know. His hot cocoa and all the cookies were gone, and he was getting sleepy as Xavier put Home Alone on.

"Love, wake up!" Xavier exclaimed and Hikaru yawned, shaking his head. It had been a busy day. They went out for breakfast and lunch, went Christmas shopping, dyed his hair, and now he was stuffed with hot cocoa and cookies.

"I'm upppppp!" He sighed and sat up. Xavier put on the movie and got up to go put the mugs away, having seen the movie enough time to be able to just listen to it. "Get back here." Hikaru demanded, feeling chilly without Xavier's warmth.

"Love, you're already wearin' my jumper." Xavier started, looking at the sweater. "What more do you want?"

"You." Hikaru said with a smirk plastered on his face.

"God help me now." Xavier muttered, setting the cups down and returning to the bed.

* * *

"Urg." Hikaru groaned in the airport, standing at his gate. Xavier was with him, a small smile on his face.

"You scared to fly alone?" Xavier chuckled and Hikaru glared at him, not wanting to admit he was a little nervous about it. He was flying home to Japan while Xavier was flying to France. "You'll be okay. Call me when you land, yeah?"

"I will." Hikaru said as people started to board the plane. "Have a good Christmas."

"Yeah yeah, you too." Xavier nodded his head. He pulled Hikaru into a hug, patting his back. "There, was a hug good enough?"

"Kiss would've been better, but this will do." Hikaru teased, hugging him back tightly, taking in his scent and warmth, before letting him go and hurrying to board the plane.


	36. It's Just Social Implications

**I've been busy gosh this one is so choppy why did I make it like that I'm sorry**

* * *

Christmas had been a lot of fun and so had New Years. Hikaru wasn't very excited to go back to school after the holidays, but here he was, yawning and following Kaoru and Haruhi into the school.

"Told you not to stay up late playing that video game." Kaoru chided him, even though Kaoru had played it with him until midnight before giving up and going to bed. Hikaru had played for two more hours before he grew too tired and fell asleep with the controller in his hands.

"You need to get to bed earlier." Haruhi told him as he yawned again. "I won't teach you what you miss if you decide to nap in class."

"Awah, Haruhi, aren't we friends?" Hikaru asked with a loud whine, putting his arm around her shoulders. She rolled her eyes, ready to smack him.

"We won't be if you keep annoying me." She muttered bluntly, making him pout. She shrugged off her arm and kept walking down the hallway towards their first class.

* * *

"How was your Christmas Break?" Haruhi asked Xavier when he joined them in the library. Hikaru didn't want to sit at the table and chat with Haruhi. He wanted Xavier all to himself.

"Ah, it was good." Xavier sat down, ruining Hikaru's hopes of disappearing down an aisle together. "Mom was happy to have me home, dad was pissed. Not much to report." He shrugged, messing with his phone for a second. "New Years was a blast. Always a good time with them. How was your Christmas break?"

Haruhi launched into hers and Hikaru knew he should be paying attention but he didn't want to? He used to hang off of every word Haruhi said but lately it felt like he wasn't as interested in her as he used to be?

"Mate?" Xavier questioned, tilting his head a little as he spoke to Hikaru. He reached out and shook his shoulder, snapping him out of his thoughts. "You alright, mate? Ya just zoned out and I've been trying to get your attention."

"He stayed up too late playing a video game." Haruhi said as she pulled out a book to read. Xavier shook his head and returned his attention to his phone, typing rapidly on it. Hikaru looked at them, watching them both before he felt his eyelids get heavy and he fell asleep.

* * *

"Time to get up." Haruhi's voice broke through his thoughts. His vision was blurry as he swatted away her hand, yawning and complaining about wanting five more minutes to sleep. "We should just leave him."

"And then have Tamaki mad at us?" Xavier's voice questioned and Haruhi groaned. "Not like we have any guests today. We can be a little late, dove."

"Carry meeeeeeeee!" Hikaru whined, directing this towards Xavier, wanting to be held. It was silent for a few moments, but then Xavier sighed.

"Get on, mate, before I change my mind." Xavier squatted by his chair and Hikaru clumsily climbed onto his back, hooking his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist. Once he was securely on, Xavier stood, expression sour.

"You spoil him." Haruhi carried Hikaru's bag as they made their way out of the library. Xavier tried to ignore the stares of other students as Hikaru drifted in and out of sleep. "We should've left him."

"Dove, don't be so rough on him. I would've stayed up all night playing a new video game too. School gets in the way of fun things." Xavier replied. "He would've been angry if we left him anyway. No sense in pissin' the lad off, he'll be sure to make us pay later if we did that."

"You're right about that." Haruhi said and Hikaru fell asleep again.

* * *

"Hikaru, come on, get up." Kaoru shook his brother roughly, waking him up. "The car is waiting for us."

"What?" Hikaru asked groggily, noticing he had been asleep on one of the couches in the host club room. Haruhi was there, waiting for them by the door. No one else was around.

"We got to get going. Haruhi has to make dinner tonight so we need to get home and work on that application quickly so she can make it home." Kaoru continued, yanking Hikaru up. The black haired male stumbled but walked, slowly waking up.

"Where is everyone?" He asked, confused as to what time it was as they left the club room and began to make their way downstairs and towards the entrance of the school.

"They left already. We discussed the plans for this week while you slept on the couch." Haruhi replied as she hurried down the stairs. "I can't believe you were able to sleep through senpai's yelling."

"Hikaru is a heavy sleeper." Kaoru said once they made it outside. They all got into the car and began their journey to the twin's house. "So, how long do you think the paperwork will take?" The paperwork was for a school in New York the three had been talking about going to for their third year. Haruhi mentioned it, and obviously the twins were not going to let her go alone. She had gotten accepted and now they just had some paperwork to do.

"It's all electronic and I skimmed through it last night. We won't be able to do it all today. Well, honestly, you two don't even need to actually fill one out. I'm sure you can get into the school no matter what." She muttered. "Damn rich kids."

"It might be fun to fill some out." Kaoru told her and she looked at him. Hikaru stretched out, his arms across the seat.

"It's twenty pages long." Haruhi told them and both the twins looked at each other before sticking their tongues out.

"No way!" They said together, both shaking their heads.

* * *

"Wanna hang out today?" Hikaru asked, hoping he could get Xavier to come over and play his new video game with him. After yesterday, he definitely went to bed at a decent hour.

"Sorry mate, can't. Promised Mona I'd help her with something." Xavier said casually and Hikaru stared at him. "What?" Xavier noticed the stare, not understanding why he was receiving it. "She needs help writing this song…what's the problem?"

"Uh….so are you two friends now?" Hikaru asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"Uh, yeah, we sorta are." Xavier told him. "She apologized to me and I said sorry too. She didn't understand, now she does, and I understand where she was coming from. We've moved on from it with some assistance from Yuukio as our mediator." That Christmas Party had been a fun one. "Now she needs help with this song and I told her I'd help. Is this a problem?"

"No…." Hikaru muttered, not wanting to irritate Xavier. They walked in silence to the Host Club and Hikaru didn't know if Xavier was mad at him or not.

Xavier went along with his usual business, and Hikaru attempted to go along with his, but he kept glancing to Monique, who was sitting with Yuukio. Renge was with other girls at a different table, and Hikaru wondered if that was going to be permeant. Monique had declared yesterday that the yellow dress was not going to work any longer and she decided to join Xavier in wearing whatever she wanted.

It was only the second day but Hikaru could already sense her style. She liked skirts and leggings and cute floral sweaters. Her lipstick was bright pink today, yesterday it was red, and she looked really good.

He huffed and focused in on his guests, putting on his brotherly love for them.

* * *

His problem with Monique wasn't that she was cute, popular, and supposedly really sweet now, or how she was seeming to hog up all of Xavier's time…

Okay, all of those were problems he had with Monique, but Hikaru knew the biggest problem he had with her was how good she looked next to Xavier.

It wasn't very fair at all. She looked so cute when she brought over tea and Xavier got up to help her, in all his black ripped jeans and disheveled mohawk glory. They looked like polar opposites but that just made them look better together.

When did this happen? When did they start smiling at each other? Didn't they hate each other? No way did a few 'sorrys' make this all better! Hikaru huffed and turned back to his guests, layering on the flirty looks and charm with them, trying to take his mind off of Xavier and Monique.

Who cared if they were getting along? He should be happy that Xavier had an ally in the house and it wasn't Hikaru's business.

Except it was. Xavier's business was his business.

Why had Xavier been so busy the past week? Did he not have time to spend with Hikaru? All Hikaru got were some texts and chats in the hallways, but Hikaru wanted more. He deserved more. Why did Monique get all of this attention? What about London? Did Xavier forget about it?

"Are you okay?" Yuukio asked as she poured more tea in the twin's guests' cups. She had been watching Hikaru all week and how increasingly frustrated he looked every day. "Are you and Xavier fighting?"

"No! Does it seem like we are?" Hikaru asked with a growl, crossing his arms as Kaoru led the guests into a funny Christmas break story.

"Uh, no, but, I am sensing quite a bit of hostility here." Yuukio said. "What's the problem?"

"He's spending more time with Mona than me." Hikaru muttered, pouting like a child who didn't get the toy it wanted. Yuukio shot him a look, not believing he was throwing a fit about that.

"Alright? Well he's helping her write a song. It's a really good song…" Yuukio admitted and he looked at her. "What? They allowed me to join their process. It's just me drinking tea and giving them my opinions. It's not that big of a deal."

"Why is he ignoring me then?" Hikaru saw the Instagram posts Mona had posted with Xavier and how much fun it looked like they were having together. Was he being replaced?

"Music writing takes a while and it's a difficult task." Yuukio said with a shrug. "I'll take care of it." With this she was turning away and her heels clicked as she strode over to Xavier. She whispered something to him and he glanced to Hikaru, who turned away, embarrassed and angry.

He glared at the cupcake on the table in front of him, surely his entire face red. What was Yuukio even saying to him?!

* * *

"He think you've been ignoring him." Yuukio whispered while Anna and Misaki chatted with each other, letting the two talk in peace.

"Eh." Xavier grunted, unsure how to respond to that. He hadn't been ignoring him, he was just trying to put distance between them. They were getting too close and Hikaru needed to spend time with Haruhi. "I've been busy with Mona, you know that. He needs to spend time with Dove anyway." He replied, glancing at Hikaru again. "We spent plenty of time in London together."

"Yes, but still. You know how Hikaru's brain functions. I'm sure Mona will not mind if you give the song writing a break."

"It's fine by me, of course." Mona butted in, having overheard this conversation. Her mind was already turning, narrowing her eyes at Hikaru, trying to understand just why this was bothering him so much and also why Xavier had been choosing her over Hikaru. She knew something might have happened in London, but she just didn't know what. "Spend some time with him, he is your best friend."

Xavier sighed, a tad annoyed. "He needs to hang out with dove, not me." He wanted them to let this go. Did they not see he was trying to help the poor guy? Their stares just made him sigh again and he knew he wasn't going to win this. It was bad enough he had his dad breathing down his neck, now he had Hikaru to worry about too.

* * *

"Eh, mate, what's the problem?" He asked Hikaru once all the guests were gone and the cleanup was almost done for the day.

"Nothing." Hikaru huffed, turning away from him, angry.

"Obviously something is bothering you." Xavier knew Hikaru was angry at him, and Xavier didn't have a very good excuse for the distance he put between them the past week. Well, he did, but he doubted Hikaru would see it has a good excuse. "Look, sorry I've been distant this past week, it's just that I've been busy helping Monique and I gotta bring up my grades to please my dad. It's not like I didn't text you or talk to you."

"Yeah." Hikaru muttered, understanding his reasons but still angry. He didn't know what he was supposed to tell him. That he was jealous of Monique for all the attention she was getting? That wasn't something he wanted to admit. Xavier was right, it wasn't like he had just stopped talking to Hikaru, he had just been busy and unavailable to hang out. "I just wanted to show you my new video game. Haruhi isn't into it and it's not fun with her." Hikaru lied, deciding this was a decent answer and it made some sense.

"That all?" Xavier asked, looking mildly surprised. Maybe he had been wrong to distance himself from Hikaru? "Well I'm free all this weekend if you want to show it to me."

"Yes!" Hikaru replied eagerly, nodding his head.


	37. Yeah I Think We Better Go

**Sorry for lack of updates but I'm at the end of this quarter at school and I've got a lot of stuff going on right now. Also, I will be out of town for a majority of next week for my job so that will put me behind on writing. Unfortunately I hit a bit of a writer's block so I do not have multiple chapters prewritten so that I can update more often. Hopefully I'll be able to update sometime next week, but I can't make any promises.**

**Thank you for being patient and I hope I'll be back to my normal posting speed soon!**

**Thanks for all the reviews, follows, and favorites!**

* * *

"So you finally told your mom?" Xavier asked, looking at Yuukio. Hikaru and Kaoru were off at the food court, still debating on what to eat. Xavier and Yuukio both picked smoothies, neither wanting something heavy, and were already sitting down.

"Yes. I just told her that your mom suggested this wonderful manager that she trusted and that I think it was for the best because she needs to focus in on my sister more and giving her more attention." Yuukio messed with her straw as she told him, a weight having been lifted off her shoulder. "Plus, your mom called my mom and I think that's what really got her to decide to hand over the reins. I think our relationship has improved too. It's better that she's just my mom, not my manager too." She owed Xavier big time for talking to his mom about recommending managers for Yuukio.

"Good. Glad I was able to assist you." Xavier nodded his head. "You look much happier."

"I am. It's a huge relief to me, you know? She can focus on my sister and make sure she stays out of trouble, and I don't fight with her nearly as much now. I think it helped my family more than I originally thought it would." Yuukio smiled when she glanced over to the twins, who looked like they were settling for pizza. "My mind isn't so cluttered with anxiety about it anymore."

"I bet your mind is all cluttered with thoughts about Kaoru now, yeah?" Xavier chuckled when Yuukio's face went pink. "Ah ah, I knew it. Why don't you just make a move on him then?" Both Kaoru and Yuukio had taken his advice and eased further into their friendship and didn't rush anything. "You're in a better spot than you were months ago."

"I know….but….Hikaru. I don't want to intrude, you know?" She questioned and Xavier understood. "I want Hikaru to be okay with it first. Kaoru is his person. I was worried that he would be angry with how much time I was spending with Kaoru, but you helped greatly in that area."

"Hm?" Xavier questioned, biting on his straw.

"You two became so close and it helped a lot. Hikaru needed another friend, because he already spends most of his day with Haruhi and so after school, she wants space, and he doesn't hang out with the other club members much unless they go out in a group, so he would stick to Kaoru. Now though, he spends a lot of time with you. It gives Kaoru and I a day or two or even three to spend some time alone when I have the time. You help Hikaru spilt his time up and I think you've taught him a lot."

"You think he still likes dove, right?" Xavier asked, happy to know that he was able to help Yuukio, but he wanted to make sure he wasn't over stepping.

"I think so. He still gives her that fond look and he spent a lot of time with her last week. Why? Do you think otherwise?" Yuukio asked, looking at him seriously.

It was times like these Xavier wished he could tell Yuukio the truth. He could talk to Vinny about it, but he knew Vinny would tell him it was best to stop the friends with benefits and just be friends with Hikaru. He knew he should stop it, but he knew just as well that that was highly impossible.

He was in an odd position, and while it was like it was with Tiffany, it was entirely different. He was unsure what to do or even what he felt.

"Ah, no, I just wanted to make sure he was still into dove."

"Oh, well, I believe he is." Yuukio added, sipping more of her smoothie as the two entered a comfortable silence.

"Also….you can go back to being friends with Renge." Xavier mentioned, getting the model's attention once more. "I appreciate you and Mona taking my side, but it's getting awkward in the house."

"Renge is the one that decided she didn't want to sit with us in the club anymore….but I'll speak to her. You know how over dramatic she can be."

* * *

"You finally out of your funk?" Haruhi questioned Hikaru as they walked to the library together Monday afternoon. She had noticed Hikaru's horrible mood the second it started and she was thankful it was over.

"I wasn't in a funk." He mumbled but the look Haruhi shot him let him know she knew he was lying. "Maybe I was in a funk because you didn't want to hang out with me?" He questioned even though he knew it wasn't the truth.

"Hey, we did hang out a few times last week." She defended herself as he held the library door open for her. "It wasn't my fault I had to do errands while we hung out. You always seem to pick the days when there's sales going on around town."

"I can't plan the days I want to hang out around sales." He told her with an eye roll. He had spent more time with her because Xavier was unavailable. He didn't realize when it had become like that, because it used to be that he'd only hang out with Xavier when Haruhi was unavailable.

He felt himself smile when he saw Xavier sitting at their normal table, legs stretched out under the table, pen in his hand as he stared at a notebook, thinking deeply.

"Hey." Haruhi greeted when they made it over to the table, taking their usual seats. "Hey?" She repeated when she got no response from Xavier.

"Oh, hey dove, sorry." He seemed to hear her the second time, taking his eyes off the page for a split second to look at her, then to Hikaru, before looking back down at the paper. "In the middle of a stroke of creativeness." He jotted something down, crossed something out, and then wrote something else.

"What are you writing?" Hikaru asked, raising his eyebrows and looking at the page of scribbles.

"A song. Slightly." Xavier tapped the pen against the notebook, racking his brain for the right words. "It sort of just hits me sometimes and I try not to ever let ideas go because I never know when I'll get another or how I'll feel when I get it."

"How you'll feel?" Haruhi asked, pulling out her own notebook to work on some homework.

"Eh, yeah. Sometimes I'll get in these…moods….you both have witnessed them." He didn't look up as he doodled a cat in the corner of the page, trying to keep the pen moving and his brain thinking. "There was a month I didn't even pick up my guitar. I would stare at it for hours but the motivation never came." He admitted, slowing the movements of his pen down. "Finally, one day, I picked it up and started again and I've tried real hard to never set it down again. That month was very blank and it is something I'd like to forgot, but I know I never will."

The other two stayed silent, both watching him as he opened up.

"Motivation is something that I tend to lose a lot but I've gotten used to it. I force myself to do a lot of things because I need to, even if mentally I'm feeling incapable of doing them. I force myself to eat and to shower and to pick up the guitar and to talk to people and to open up my windows. Some days are better than others, some days I'd rather forget." He continued, pausing for a brief moment before writing something down sloppily. "It's not so bad now, but I know I've got a really long way to go before I'm okay again."

"I think you're doing really well." Hikaru said, not expecting Xavier to look up at him, a small smile forming on his lips. It made Hikaru's stomach flip and he tried not to blush.

"Thanks, mate." He replied before looking back to his notebook. "Recovery is just….really terrifying when you don't know who you are without your sadness." He messed with his pen, staring at it intently, then flipped to a new page and began jotting things down.

* * *

It was Tuesday in the club when Renge finally rejoined Monique and Yuukio at their table. The trio pretended like nothing had happened in the first place and that Renge hadn't been ignoring them for the entire week.

"Girls are strange creatures." Kaoru mumbled and Hikaru nodded his head, agreeing. He didn't think he could forgive Renge what she had done, but maybe Monique and Yuukio were just more forgiving than he was? "It's good Yuukio has decided to let it go. It's healthier that way. I'm glad she helped Monique and Xavier get to a better place too. I think she's doing really well."

"Probably because you two spend so much time together." Hikaru replied, smirking as a light blush spread across his brother's face. He wanted to tease him, but something in him stopped him. "You know…I really like Yuukio." His expression softened and he patted Kaoru's shoulder. "If you want to date her, you know that I'll be happy for you two, right?" He questioned, wanting Kaoru to know he was okay with it. He knew his brother better than anyone, and he knew that he was holding out on expressing his true feelings to Yuukio because he was worried about how Hikaru would feel about it.

"Thank you." Kaoru smiled back at him, cheeks still red from embarrassment. The door to the club opened at this moment and Hikaru figured it was Xavier, who was late.

"Oh….Jackie?" Haruhi questioned, eyes landing on the woman who was looking around, a little lost. Why was Xavier's mother here? Jackie took notice of Haruhi and hurried over to her, her heels clacking on the floor and her curls bouncing.

"Haruhi, you are as cute as a flower in your uniform!" She cheered, giving her a tight hug and a wink. "Surprised?"

"Very." Haruhi said now as the others in the club watched them with puzzled expressions. Jackal soon came into the room, walking over to his sister. "What are you two doing here?"

"To visit the knucklehead." Jackal replied, shaking Haruhi's hand. "Akio got to visit him, so I think it's fair that we get to visit him too, yeah?"

"Hello!" Tamaki interrupted, starting into his introduction. Jackie was pleased with it while Jackal looked less than amused. They were seated with Haruhi, since she had no guests at the moment and she was the only one they really knew.

"Should I say hello to Renge?" Jackie mumbled, looking at her tea after Haruhi poured it. "Would that be polite? She is still family, no?"

"Eh." Jackal crossed his arms as Haruhi took her seat across from him. "I'd do it later. She isn't family anymore and it's not like she was before anyway. Xavier never really liked her. I didn't either." Jackie shot him a look as to scold him for saying such things and sipped her tea.

"I hope my little blue bird doesn't mind our visit. I just miss him so much."

"He'll deal with it." Jackal looked to the doors. "Where is he?"

"He said he had to go call Vinny about something." Hikaru said as he approached the table with a treat cart. He wanted a better introduction than just Tamaki saying his name and pointing at him.

"You're Yuzuha's son, right?" Jackie questioned with a bright smile. Hikaru could seem the similarities between her and Xavier. He had more of a personality like his uncle's and a little of his dad's, but he clearly got this side of the family's looks. Xavier's smile was just like his mother's and he had her hair and eye color. He got his uncle's jaw and cheek bones, and that sort of mischievous laid back attitude. "Hikaru, right? Oh wow, you look so grown up and handsome!"

"Thank you, ma'am." He beamed, liking her already. "That's me. Kaoru is over there with his guests."

"You two have grown up since the last time I've seen you. I'll have to visit your mother while I'm here! She's always so much fun." She continued. "Oh, you're best friends with Xavier, too, no? He spoke very fondly of you when he visited for Christmas."

"He did?" Hikaru asked, happily surprised by that information. The doors opened again and Xavier entered, the smell of smoke and the cold of the outside clinging to him. He put his things away before coming out of the closet and stopping when he finally noticed his mother and uncle.

"There's my little blue bird!" Jackie exclaimed and stood, hurrying over to him with open arms. He accepted her hug and hugged her back tightly with a smile plastered on his face.

"What are you two doing here?" He questioned, surprised and delighted. Hikaru couldn't help but watch as his face lit up, eyes wide in surprise.

"We just wanted to visit you at school and meet your friends." She took his hand and pulled him over to their table. He and Jackal shook hands and exchanged smiles. "It's so lovely here and your club mates are very friendly."

"Little too friendly sometimes." Xavier muttered and Hikaru elbowed him before going back over to Kaoru. Xavier smirked after him before turning back to his family and Haruhi. "So you decided to take dove as your host?"

"You weren't here." Jackal told him. "And I like Haruhi…..he's very good at conversation."

"Ah, dove's good at a lot of things." Xavier shrugged, glancing to Misaki and Abby.

"Go entertain your guests! We'll go out for dinner and we can talk more then!" Jackie shooed him over to his guests, watching him carefully.

* * *

"How long is your mom and uncle going to be here?" Hikaru asked, this time walking with Xavier to the library. He really liked Xavier's mom and uncle a lot. Sure it meant he probably wouldn't get to spend time with Xavier outside of school, but he was okay with that knowing Xavier was with them.

"I think she said they were leaving on Sunday." Xavier told him. "She's happy to just sit in the club and watch me and Jackal has been suggesting plans for after I graduate. It's always nice having them around."

"I like them." Hikaru told him as they entered the library together. "Your mother is really beautiful."

"Yeah, ain't she?" Xavier questioned, agreeing. "I'm lucky to even resemble her. She's one of those people that's beautiful inside and out. I don't know what she saw in my dad."

"I don't either." Hikaru muttered, not seeing why someone like her used to be married to someone like Xavier's dad. Hikaru was prepared to head to the table, but Xavier's hand on the small of his back guided him away from the direction of the table and that was all the direction Hikaru needed.

He turned down a deserted book aisle, excited to feel Xavier. They barely did anything all weekend, which was fine by him since they had so much fun, but he enjoyed the touches too. They headed to the back and they tossed their bags down before Xavier pressed Hikaru against the wall.

Xavier knew he shouldn't be encouraging this but he was starting to get a 'fuck it' attitude towards it. He was going to be fine and Hikaru still liked Haruhi, so he brushed off his worries as he leaned down and kissed Hikaru.


	38. She Can't Be What You Need If She's 17

**Sorry for taking forever to update but I've been really busy with other things and I haven't had the time to sit down and type.**

**And to top it all off it's a short chapter, so sorry!**

* * *

Hikaru's lips were still tingling when he got home, his mother telling him and Kaoru they were going to have company for dinner, so they better be on their best behavior.

Company for dinner was usually a hit or miss, but Hikaru didn't let the news affect his mood. He headed upstairs with his brother, going off to do homework that he had neglected to get done in the library today due to Xavier's mouth.

He managed to get his homework done in a decent amount of time and showered and got redressed before the maids were knocking on his door, saying the guests had arrived. It was still early, so he figured he could meet whoever the guests were and sneak back upstairs to play his video games before dinner was actually ready.

He and Kaoru jogged down the stairs together, hearing their mother and other voices in the foyer.

"There they are!" Their mother exclaimed when they made it to the bottom of the stairs. "Took you boys long enough." Jackie and Jackal were there, smiling at them, with Yuukio and Xavier as well.

"You didn't tell us you were coming over for dinner!" The twins said together towards Yuukio and Xavier.

"We didn't rehearse a response to that." Xavier chuckled, his hair styled back and in pants that weren't ripped. Yuukio was in a blue sweater, her knit skirt gray and matching her leggings.

"You four go off and play and I'll you when it's dinner time." Their mother shooed them off and the four teens headed upstairs, not arguing about her orders. Hikaru didn't say anything when Yuukio and Kaoru went straight to his room, because he was pulling Xavier into his, making sure to lock the door.

"We'll have to see if Kaoru has any of Yuukio's lipstick smeared on his mouth when they call us down for dinner." Hikaru joked, making Xavier laugh. "I told him the other day that it was okay if he wanted to ask her out. I know he's worried about me, but, I'm fine."

"Really?" Xavier sat on Hikaru's couch, looking at him. "That was sweet of ya, mate."

"I'm not going to hold him back." He plopped down next to Xavier. "Did you know you were coming over for dinner?"

"No, it was a surprise for me too. Mom invited Yuukio along because she loves her to pieces. It's like the daughter she never had." Xavier didn't sound angry, he sounded pleased with it actually. "You happy to see me?"

"Of course." Hikaru replied, poking at Xavier's cheek. "Didn't think I'd get to spend time with you outside of school this week. Let's play that game!"

* * *

"Don't get upset because I'm winning." Xavier muttered as Hikaru pouted. They were both on Hikaru's bed, Hikaru in between Xavier's legs with Xavier's chin resting on his head.

"I'm not." Hikaru grumbled, even though he was. He saw Xavier set the remote down on the bed and in seconds his hands were running up and down Hikaru's sides, making him laugh and squirm. "N-Not fair!"

"Awah, c'mon, love, it's plenty fair!" Xavier continued his actions, happy that Hikaru was ticklish and his plan hadn't back fired. Hikaru got away from him, panting and face red as he tried to regain his breath.

"You're a dick." Hikaru muttered, glaring as Xavier smiled at him, amused. "I hate being tickled."

"I know, but you were pouting and I wanted to cheer ya up." Xavier got another powerful glare from Hikaru after saying this. Hikaru, after a few seconds of glaring, decided to crawl back over to Xavier. He pressed against the male, wrapping his arms around his neck. "You sure?" Xavier questioned. "Your family and my family are downstairs."

"Yeah." Hikaru mumbled, a little excited about that the fact that his mom and Xavier's mom and uncle were just downstairs. It was like making out at the school. He didn't hesitate when Xavier kissed him and he hastily kissed back, opening his mouth for Xavier's tongue.

However, the knocking on the door ruined it before it started. A maid announced that dinner was ready as Hikaru pulled away from Xavier, annoyed at being interrupted.

"Heh, it's like they know." Xavier was amused at Hikaru's expression, even though he was annoyed that they were interrupted as well. He leaned in and gave him a caste kiss, making Hikaru smile, like he knew it would. "C'mon." He got off the bed and pulled Hikaru with him, not wanting to take too long getting down there or they'd get suspicious.

* * *

Xavier's mother was an extremely bubbly person, the exact opposite of her ex-husband. She kept the conversation flowing, smiled throughout the entire meal, and was interested in what any of them had to say. She had a captivating aura about her, whenever she spoke, you couldn't help but listen.

Hikaru noticed Jackal had it too. He didn't speak nearly as much as his sister did, but when he did, it was something interesting or funny. He thought about what he was going to say before he did it, Jackie sometimes did it too, but her words were more gushed together in a flurry of excitement or happiness, his words separated and defined, making you hang on every word. Both of them, however, would look you directly in the eye when they were speaking, or when you were speaking to them.

When the coffee/tea portion of the evening came around, the teens were ushered back upstairs again so they adults could continue to talk. Hikaru didn't mind it at all, and it seemed like Kaoru didn't either.

"I like your mom and uncle." Hikaru told Xavier once the door to his room was shut and locked.

"Everyone says that." Xavier looked to him, shrugging as he did so. "They are really great though, I'm incredibly lucky to have them. Being here makes me miss them a lot. I can't just hop on a train to Paris for the weekend."

"That does blow." Hikaru sat down next to him on the couch in his room, thinking it over. He would definitely miss his mom and dad when he and Kaoru went over to America with Haruhi, and no doubt, the rest of the Host Club. Especially now his parents were taking more time to be at home with them and spend more time with them.

"But it's gotta happen eventually. If I want to be a rock star, I'm going to be constantly moving around on tour and I won't have too much down time to sit back and relax with my friends or family." He continued. "It'll be fine. It's not like I'll be alone and it's not like I don't have a phone."

Hikaru didn't want to think about Xavier leaving. It worried him. It made him feel uneasy and he didn't want to imagine Xavier not being there. "Yeah." Was all Hikaru mumbled out in reply.

* * *

"Are you going to sing today?" Abby asked, hoping that Xavier would said yes. Misaki sipped her tea and looked at him.

"It's been quite a long time since you last sang." She added and Abby nodded her head eagerly, smiling widely at Misaki for aiding her.

"Ah, my little blue bird, please delight us with a song!" Jackie exclaimed from her table near Xavier's sofa. She was sitting with Yuukio currently, Jackal mostly on his phone next to her. Monique was hesitantly watching, not sure if it was okay to sit with them or not. Yuukio motioned for her, so she slowly walked over, almost scared. "Bonjor, Monique! Come come, sit with us." Jackie patting the seat between her and Yuukio. Monique's expression changed to one of relief and she took her spot at the table.

"Maybe." Xavier said, mulling it over. "I'll think about it." He leaned back and started to munch on the piece of cake he hand.

"The last time you sang was at the last party, wasn't it?" Abby questioned, not remembering well. "It was so long ago!"

"We are due for another party." Tamaki mumbled, rubbing his chin. "We should have a Valentines Day dance!" After announcing this, the girls in the room all cheered, loving the idea. "That settles it!"

"Senpai, it's a month away." Haruhi grumbled, with her own guests. Tamaki hurried over to her, twirling her around excitedly. Hikaru chuckled at the expression on Haruhi's face, one that screamed 'MURDER'. "Senpai put me down!"

"I'll sing a song if you put Dove down, boss man." Xavier declared, coming to Haruhi's aid. After a few shouts from the guests, Tamaki put Haruhi down and Xavier went over to the piano. "This song isn't usually on piano but oh well." He lightly ran his fingers over the keys, thinking on how to play it, before starting.

"_You've seen so many faces that I've never seen before. I left an unrewarding message telling you to come on. Over dramatic, automatically assume I'll stay the same." _He sang, looking at the keys._ "There's a change in pressure. We're never gonna lie to you. My broken veins say that if my heart stops beating, we'll bleed the same way. Oh, my broken veins say." _

"He's so talented." Jackie smiled, extremely proud of her son. Hikaru smiled at how prideful she looked, and she should feel like that. Xavier was extremely talented and hardworking. He was willing to give up almost anything to make his dream come true.

"We can't let him lose his will again though." Jackal said this more quietly, but Yuukio, Monique, Haruhi, and Hikaru all heard him. "We can't….visits like this can't happen often."

"_Well I stay tuned and listen to the news and try to fall asleep at night because I'm living in a house with just three walls, so I'm always getting recognized." _

"But I can't stay away from my little blue bird for long." Jackie argued, frowning.

"Where ever you go, the paparazzi go, and he's doing so well. If he gets exposed to them too much again, they could really hurt his chances." Jackal continued, watching Xavier play. "It's starting to get into sensitive areas, these next few months are critical. He's still recovering and that crap with Akio shook him up, not nearly as bad as I thought it would, but, it did, and we can't have cameras hounding him when he's trying to recover."

Hikaru couldn't help but think that Jackal wasn't giving Xavier enough credit. He could handle a few photographers following him around, however, maybe Hikaru didn't know the extent of Xavier's issues? He seemed like he was doing better, but Jackal was right, the incident with his dad had shaken him up and he couldn't forget how Xavier sounded and felt clinging onto him in the library, miserable.


	39. Falling All Over The Place

**I've been busy and lazy mixed in with writers block deciding how I want this story to go so bear with me and thanks for being so patient.**

* * *

"Vinny and the others are coming for the dance, right?" Hikaru questioned, curled up under Xavier's covers. Jackal and Jackie had left two weeks ago with excited talks about Xavier's graduation.

"Oh yeah, they'll be here soon." Xavier said, coming out of the bathroom, done with his shower. "Going over the setlist for the party, got any requests?"

"Any song you sing is good." Hikaru chuckled, winking at Xavier, feeling his heart beat faster when Xavier smiled and looked away, going to his dresser for a shirt. The last two weeks had been some odd jumble of class and the touches of Xavier's cold fingers and soft lips all over his skin.

"I'll pick some slow songs, obviously. It'll be a good time for you to dance with dove." Xavier pulled on his shirt and then turned to look at Hikaru, who pouted.

"I don't want to dance with her." Hikaru mumbled, interest in Haruhi waning. Xavier tried his best not to be pleased with this. He couldn't let this happen again. Hikaru needed to be with Haruhi, not with him. "Just play good songs and it'll be fun." He didn't want Xavier to push it because he knew where this was going. He knew what was happening. Didn't Xavier know what was happening too? Or was he just choosing to ignore it?

"I only play good songs. Mona wants to play too, so it'll be a fun night." Xavier continued, sitting on the bed. "I'll be busy with practice, however. Think you'll be okay?"

"Hmp." Hikaru huffed and pulled the covers around him, keeping the pout on his face. Xavier scooted over to him and put his hands on Hikaru's cheeks.

"Love, don't pout. I promise I'll make it up to you." Xavier leaned it and kissed him chastely, knowing the line between them was smeared in the sand and the tide was washing it away completely. Hikaru broke the pout to smile at Xavier, the faint blush barely showing on his cheeks.

The knock on the door had Xavier leaving the bed and going to his door. He unlocked it and opened it, allowing Monique to come in. "Did I interrupt something?" Monique asked, looking at Hikaru while Xavier closed the door.

Hikaru huddled up under the covers further, not meeting her eyes. She had been kind to him ever since he returned from London, yet he still didn't like her. She fit too well with Xavier, they looked too good together, they clicked too well together, they made Hikaru feel unsettled.

"Not at all, what's up?" Xavier questioned, coming back to sit on the bed with Hikaru. Monique nervously looked at the ground, then back up at them after a few moments. She glanced to Hikaru before to Xavier.

"I just want to make sure I won't be intruding when your friends arrive. Are you sure they're quite alright performing with me?" Hikaru was surprised at this confession.

"Hm? Yeah, they've already started practicing your songs." Xavier said and Monique raised her eyebrows in surprise. "I've given you the okay so they're ready to play with you. Don't be so nervous, Stella is excited to have another girl in the musical group."

"I just wanted to make sure. They'll be here soon, no?" She questioned, still nervous. "I just want them to like me."

"Relax, Mona." Xavier waved his hand, calm about it all. "They'll like you. Things are going to be alright. Jackal has already started getting you into the school and you'll be a big pop star before long."

"Yeah, yeah, tons of work ahead of me. Thank you, I'll leave you two to continue whatever it is you were doing." She hurriedly left and Xavier got back up to lock the door.

"What about the school?" Hikaru asked, confused by the whole conversation.

"Jackal is big in the music industry, mostly in France, but he's been working in the American industry more and more. He works with Stella's dad, he's one of the founders for the music school I went to in California. He's working on getting Monique accepted into it so she can do her senior year there. It's seriously important for her career." Xavier explained, coming back to sit on the bed once more. "Being here isn't further either of our careers. Our talents are wasting away here." Hikaru furrowed his brows at this, a little offended.

"Well sorry." Hikaru grumbled, even though he knew Xavier never meant to hurt him with what he said.

"Love, I didn't mean that to be a shot at you." Xavier said this gently, not wanting to further anger him. "I've learned a lot being here, but I need to go back home. Not France, not Manchester, home, to California. It's still more than a month away, and aren't you all joining Haruhi on her adventure to America?" He questioned and Hikaru nodded his head. "You'll be in New York, I'll be in L.A. Only a three hour time difference and about three thousand miles between us, that isn't so bad."

"Still far." Hikaru complained, not wanting Xavier far from him. He had grown so attached and the thought of him not being there made his gut drop. He reached his hand out, lightly holding onto Xavier's shirt sleeve. "Cuddles." He demanded. Xavier sighed, but joined Hikaru under the covers anyway.

* * *

"Oh, hey!" Xavier exclaimed when he pulled out his phone during club. It was almost time for clean up and Tamaki was about to chide him about being on the phone while guests were here, but Xavier's excited face stopped him. "They're here! Oi, king-boss-daddy-whatever, can I bow out?" He questioned, meaning that Vinny, Stella, and Isaac had arrived early. Tamaki allowed him to go and he hurriedly gathered his things and left the club room, making a few guests giggle at how excited he was.

Hikaru wasn't giggling. He knew that Xavier was obviously going to spend more time with them, but he didn't even tell Hikaru good bye when he left. He was instantly no longer in a good mood, knowing the next week would be one he spent not having any fun. He would complain to Xavier, or Kaoru, or basically anyone else, and they'd tell him that he should spend time with Haruhi, and he needed to realize that Xavier had other friends and Hikaru wasn't going to be number one all the time.

Hikaru knew he wasn't going to be number one all the time and he knew if he asked Xavier if they could hang out, he would invite him along with him and the others, but he wanted Xavier to _himself_. He didn't want to spend more time with Haruhi than he already did, he didn't want to spend more time with Kaoru, or anyone else other than Xavier.

He put away a few dishes as the last of the guests left, his mood too horrible to be cheerful with the ladies. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he sat the tea cup in his hand down before pulling out his phone.

"_Sorry I didn't say bye to you, love, dinner with the mates and I tonight?"_

Hikaru stared at the text from Xavier, before squealing with delight.

"What's going on?" Haruhi asked as she pushed in an empty cart. Seeing Hikaru so happy when he just looked like he wanted to hurt someone was a huge difference in moods in such a short amount of time.

"I'm going out to dinner tonight with Xavier and the others." Hikaru bragged and Haruhi chuckled, seeing how excited he was over something so small.

"Good, I'm glad. Your mood was terrible the second he left and we can't deal with that this whole week." She said and he shot her a look, but then busied himself with replying to the text message.

* * *

"I'm glad you could come with us." Stella quickly made her way to Hikaru's side as they walked down the sidewalk. They had just finished dinner at some hole in the wall Stella and Vinny had picked. Hikaru was worried he would feel awkward with the group, but they included him in everything and barely spoke about their future as a band or leaving Japan. They asked Hikaru tons of questions and listened intently as he told his own stories and laughed at his jokes.

"And I'm glad there's snow. I've never actually gotten to witness real snow."

"Seriously?" Hikaru asked, looking at the piles of stuff along the streets. The snow fall was a lot heavier this year than the previous years. Stella nodded her head and kicked a pile of snow, giggling as it flew everywhere. Xavier was on his other side, his fingers kept brushing against Hikaru's gloved ones and Hikaru wanted to hold them, because no doubt they were cold. "Why didn't you wear real gloves?"

"Fingerless gloves are real gloves." Xavier muttered, rolling his eyes. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a his lighter and a cigarette. "Hard to hold a cigarette with gloves on." He stuck it in his mouth and lit it, before blowing the smoke away from the group. He stepped away, giving them space so the smell and smoke wouldn't be in their faces.

"Hey, is that a park?!" Stella asked excitedly, looking across the seat to where an empty playground was, light illuminating it. She looked at the group and then both ways, before she dashed across the street.

"Stella, it's late!" Isaac called after her as she giggled, her pink ponytails bouncing as she ran.

"The night is still young!" She called out, hoping onto a slide with the biggest grin on her face. "C'mon you killjoys, play!" Vinny and Isaac looked at each other, then shrugged, heading across the road to play with her.

"You wanna go?" Xavier questioned, finishing up his cigarette.

"We got school tomorrow and it's late already." Hikaru wish they didn't because it looked like they were having tons of fun. Haruhi and his brother would get onto him if he fell asleep in homeroom again tomorrow morning though.

"Just spend the night with me." Xavier replied like it was the best solution. Okay, yeah, he'd spend the night with Xavier, but that didn't change the fact that they had school tomorrow and it was already late. Xavier tossed his cigarette into the snow and Hikaru felt a cold hand grab his. "C'mon, love, goin' let school ruin this night?"

Hikaru was about to say 'yes' but Xavier's smirk made his knees weak and he found himself shaking his head, making Xavier's smirk be replaced with a smile.

"Then come along!" He checked both ways before dashing across the street, pulling Hikaru. Stella cheered and slid down the slide into a pile of snow as they entered the playground. Hikaru was pulled towards the swings and let go on Xavier's hand to get on one, beating Xavier to it.

"Push push!" He sat down on the seat and looked to Xavier, who shook his head. He stomped his foot, whining until Xavier walked behind him and gently began to push him. Vinny was on the see-saw with Stella, while Isaac took a video of it, adding his own commentary to it. Hikaru watched them before looking up at the dark sky, the cold air hitting his face.

"Having fun?" Xavier asked from behind him, and Hikaru turned his head to nod, a smile plastered on his face. Hikaru turned forward against, pumping his legs to make him go higher on the swing. He couldn't believe how much fun he was having doing something so….simple.

"Hikaru, come play on this with me!" Stella called out, catching his attention.

"What is that thing?" Isaac asked, examining it.

"A merry go round. You sit on it and hold on while someone spins it." Vinny explained while Xavier held onto the swing, stopping it for Hikaru. The second it somewhat safe, Hikaru was done with the swing and hurrying over to Stella, ready to play on whatever the thing was.

"Don't push it too hard." Xavier told Vinny as Hikaru picked a good spot and sat down, then hung onto the bars, ready to be spun. Vinny laughed and gripped the bars, then pulled, sending Stella and Hikaru spinning around and around. Stella slid off and landing in a pile of snow, laughing loudly to let them know she was okay.

"That was awesome!" She exclaimed, getting up and dusting the snow off of her. "Let's go again!"

"You okay?" Xavier asked Hikaru, who dizzily nodded his head.

"Let's go again!" He cheered as Stella hopped onto the ride again. "Zave, c'mon, try it." He encouraged and Xavier gave him a look before he climbed on. He sat behind Hikaru, one arm around him and one arm wrapped around a bar. Isaac hopped on as well and Vinny grabbed a bar and spun it before hoping on himself.

"Holy fuck!" Xavier exclaimed as they spun, holding onto to Hikaru as tightly as he could with only one arm around him. Hikaru closed his eyes, world spinning and heart beating rapidly with Xavier pressed against him.

"This is great!" Stella shouted and Isaac groaned, sounding like he was going to be sick. "Isaac, just close your eyes!" He muttered something in French that caused Xavier to laugh, and speak back in French. Hikaru wanted to know what they were saying, but he forgot all about it as Xavier's chin rested on his shoulder.

* * *

Hikaru groaned as he felt himself wake up. He was half on top of Xavier, and he was sure his left foot was pressed against Vinny's side. "What time is it?" He asked no one in particular, as he had no clue if either of them were even awake.

"It's a quarter passed ten." Vinny answered after a few seconds. Hikaru sat up and reached over Xavier for his phone to verify the time when he saw the missed calls and texts from his brother and the rest of the host club.

"Love, what the bloody hell are you doing?" Xavier growled, not enjoying how he was woken up.

"We're late for school! I bet Kaoru is mad." He complained, trying to text a reply to Kaoru, but Xavier sat up and pulled him onto his lap. He pressed his forehead to Hikaru's back, groaning.

"Hikaru it's okay. You didn't have any tests today right? We'll get there in time for club." Xavier mumbled, still sleepy.

"No sense rushing there now. We should get some breakfast first." Vinny yawned, smiling at Hikaru, who realized that Xavier was holding him in his lap. "I can't believe we all slept decently. Well, I did have Hikaru's foot jabbing my ribcage."

"I'm sorry." Hikaru apologized, feeling Xavier's hot breath on his neck. "Did I hurt you?"

"I'm just playin', you were fine. I call dibs on the shower first." Vinny got out of the bed and pulled extra clothes out of his duffel bag on the floor and headed into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

"Are you that upset you're missing school? We can go." Xavier said, slowly opening his eyes and moving his head to rest on Hikaru's shoulder.

"Vinny is right, there's no sense rushing off now. As long as I'm there for the club, it's okay." Hikaru felt like falling asleep again. They had stayed up so late last night, he wasn't sure what time they went to bed, actually. They had stayed at the park until Hikaru and Vinny had gotten too cold and they headed back home and watched tv and drank hot cocoa and began heading off to bed one by one. "I had a lot of fun last night."

"I'm glad to hear that." Xavier murmured, pressing a soft kiss to Hikaru's neck, confused by his own actions. He had done it without even thinking, but Hikaru didn't seem to mind, so he didn't say anything. His hands instantly reached for Hikaru and calling him 'love' was barely thought of as the word left his mouth. He needed to be careful, that's what he kept telling himself, but he was already in so deep and he couldn't help it.

"I'm so hungry." Hikaru groaned, looking up at Xavier. "I'm your guest you need to see to my needs." Hikaru felt Xavier push him and he toppled off his lap and back onto the bed. Xavier laughed and got up, stretching as he did so.

"Then come on, let's go see to your needs." Xavier headed towards the door to his room and Hikaru chased after him.


	40. They've All Got Boyfriends Anyway

**So many songs in this but I really love them and I thought really hard about what songs would be sung and I just love Taylor Swift and Fall Out Boy and the others like wow yes good music good job.**

**Also thanks for much for hanging in there during my slight hiatus, I will not lie, I wrote so much homestuck fanfiction during that mini break. It really helped me keep writing and got out a few ideas I couldn't fit into this story, but hopefully now I'll be able to focus on Ouran!**

**I thought I already posted this chapter and I was getting confused as to why yall weren't freaking out about a certain scene and then I realized I had yet to post it so obviously yall don't know about it (Well one does know about it but only a little)**

* * *

Hikaru let out a sigh, throwing himself onto a nearby sofa in the club room.

"Is planning a party really that boring to you, Hikaru?" Kyoya questioned, sitting across from him. The guests had yet to arrive for the day, so Kyoya wrangled the members in to go over everything for the party the upcoming weekend.

"He's bored because Xavier isn't here." Renge stated so easily, Hikaru wondered if he was that easy to read. While Xavier had invited him out a few nights ago, he hadn't been invited out again. He would have thought at least over the weekend he would get to hang out, but that didn't happen. It wasn't like Xavier was ignoring him, he still spoke to him when he saw him around the school and he texted him the same amount as usual, but Hikaru wanted to spend time with him. He missed him.

"Am not, I'm bored because this is boring." Hikaru half assed his excuse and hid his face in a pillow.

"Well, we were going to discuss this last Friday but you didn't show up to school right until club started." Kyoya replied, writing something down. Hikaru shifted so one eye could glare at Kyoya. Did they really need him for this discussion? No, they didn't.

"We're almost done, so relax." Kaoru came to his twin's aid, feeling bad for him. "We don't have to worry about music, Xavier and Monique have that covered, food is covered, and decorations are simple and easy." Tamaki piped up to pitch an idea, but both the twins shook their heads.

"No cheesy decorations, boss. We can't have hearts everywhere." They said in unison, shutting Tamaki down.

"Just have a few of those spirals with little hearts attached to them dangling from the ceiling." Haruhi shrugged, not too concerned with decorations. She had been focused on making sure they would be serving fancy tuna, and they were, so she didn't care about anything else.

"We'll have to make the room looks classy and beautiful!" Renge exclaimed, getting excited. "We should have a chocolate fountain with strawberries all around it in the shape of a heart! How romantic would that be?" She turned to Tamaki, because he was the only one on board with the idea.

"Chocolate fountain is fine, strawberries too, but no need for them to be in the shape of a heart." Yuukio said, thinking the idea was a little tacky. "We must make sure we don't overkill on the hearts. A few touches of them here and there will suffice. I personally like the idea of decorations hanging from the ceiling, as long as their done tastefully. I went to an after party once that had white fabric hanging from the ceiling. They pinned up both ends and let it hang like a wave. It makes the room feel warmer."

"That could work." Kyoya said, jotting it down as the soft sounds of music started up again. "Seems they're done with their break." Hikaru wanted to go see them, but guests would be here soon and he needed to be here for that.

"They sound good from here. Let's hope Xavier picks good romantic songs." Yuukio muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Monique is there, she'll make sure good music is played." Renge said with confidence, nodding her head, then looked to the clock. "Oh! We better wrap this up, the guests will be here soon!"

* * *

"You know what would be a good idea for club today?" Kaoru questioned the other members the next day, glancing at Hikaru, who was looking over Haruhi's shoulder at the book she was reading, an unamused expression on his face. "Why don't we go watch them practice? It'll be entertaining and get the guests excited for the party this weekend."

"Great idea, Kaoru!" Tamaki exclaimed, loving the idea. No one was going to be able to talk him out of it, so they quickly made the arrangements to move club to the ballroom Xavier and the others were rehearsing in.

Hikaru had a hard time containing his excitement as they made their way to the room and he kept smiling at his brother, letting him know how thankful he was.

Tamaki eagerly opened the door to the large room and with Kyoya's help they propped the doors open so some of the tables and couches could be moved into the room. Xavier was tuning his guitar on the stage, speaking to Monique about something. Hikaru frowned, seeing how close they were standing.

"Eh, what's going on?" Xavier turned to them, a puzzled expression. "Are you bloody kidding? I've told you before, rehearsals aren't interesting nor entertaining."

"The guests loved it last time, so we will do it again." Kyoya smirked as he surveyed the furniture being moved in. "I hope you do well today."

"I always do well, you ass." Xavier told him, rolling his eyes as Stella came from the back with a few water bottles. Hikaru busied himself with helping the others, then greeting the guests as they all entered the room.

"How exciting." Abby smiled, sitting near Hikaru, with Haruhi. Misaki was with her as well, happy to see her fiancé perform, the two picking Haruhi as their host since Xavier was obviously busy. "I really enjoy listening to this, it gets me excited for the parties."

"I knew my idea was good." Kaoru smirked, proud of himself.

"Kaoru, your ideas are always good!" Hikaru added, pouring tea for their guests.

Xavier fumbled with his lighter, knowing he shouldn't smoke in the room, especially with the others so close to him, but he needed one. "Just let me have one." He said into the mic, holding a hand up to Kyoya and Tamaki, who were both about to protest. "Mona, go get some tea. I'll take the first one." He nodded to her, and she carefully got off the stage with his help and came over to the others.

Performing in front of the others didn't bother him, but he didn't find it entertaining for them to have to listen to him and the others discuss songs and chords and other music related things. He blew out smoke, glancing at Hikaru. God, that was another problem he had that he kept sweeping under the rug. He was so far into it, there was no point in even attempting to stop it. "Lights." He said to the students in the projector room who had controls of the lights and spotlights and other things. "Flawless." He said to Vinny, Isaac, and Stella, who all nodded and started playing.

"_She planned ahead for a year, he said, 'Let's play it by ear'. She didn't want him to run, he didn't want her to fear. Nobody said it'd be easy, they knew it was rough but, tough luck. I fell in love today, there aren't any words that you can say that could ever get my mind to change. She's enough for me, she's in love with me." _He sang, voice low and a little rough. He glanced back at the others and took a quick intake and exhaled. _"You're a doll, you are flawless. But I just can't wait for love to destroy us. I just can't wait for love. The only flaw – you are flawless. But I just can't wait for love to destroy us. I just can't wait for love."_

Hikaru watched how Xavier held onto the mic stand with one hand, the other dangling the cigarette. He'd bring it to his lips throughout the song when he had the time and blew out the smoke as he sang. Once the song was over, he put out his cigarette and tossed it in the empty cup he had by his feet and ran his fingers through his hair. "That was pretty decent." He turned to the others as he said this. "I really needed that smoke, sorry."

"Hey, it's only your second one of the day." Vinny said, nodding his head. "You're doing really well." Xavier shrugged at this, looking like he didn't believe Vinny, but he wanted to. He reached down to grab his water bottle and took a large gulp.

"Oi, how was that for a love song?" He asked into the mic, directing his attention to the club.

"Dreadful!" Yuukio replied back loudly, shaking her head as he chuckled. "Why don't you sing a love song you've written?"

"A love song I've written?" Xavier questioned, looking to be shaking his head. "Crumpet I don't write songs about being in love - that you wanna hear." He looked at Hikaru and his expression softened, making Hikaru smile. Hikaru saw Xavier bite his lip, holding back a smile. He turned from him, meeting Vinny's knowing gaze and looked away again, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'll try another song." He said after taking another sip of water. He mumbled something to the others, hand over the mic as they spoke to one another.

"Don't worry, Xavier knows good love songs." Hikaru heard Monique tell Yuukio and Renge as they prepared for the next song.

"_I don't know where you're going but do you got room for one more troubled soul? I don't know where I'm going but I don't think I'm coming home and I said I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead. This is the road to ruin and we're starting at the end." _The song was a completely one eighty from the previous song. Xavier had his guitar and looked to be having far more fun than he had during the first song. "_Say yeah! Let's be alone together!_ _We could stay young forever!_ _Scream it from the top of your lungs, lungs, lungs_. _Say yeah! Let's be alone together! We could stay young forever! We'll stay young, young, young, young, young." _

The guests clapped, enjoying the energy from the rock song.

"_You cut me off, I lost my track. It's not my fault, I'm a maniac."_ Xavier pointed at his head, making a face. _"It's not funny anymore, it's not. My heart is like a stallion. They love it more when it's broken. Do you wanna feel beautiful? Do you wanna? Yeah! I'm outside the door, invite me in so we can go back and play pretend. I'm on deck, yeah, I'm up next. Tonight I'm high as a private jet!"_

"Much better, Fall Out Boy is always well liked." Yuukio nodded her head, enjoying the song. Hikaru was really liking the song too. He enjoyed the quiet songs that were mellow that fit Xavier so well, but he enjoyed these loud and bright songs that had Xavier hitting low and high notes while playing his guitar and jumping around the stage.

When the song ended Monique stood and went back over to the stage. She said a few things to the others and they all nodded their heads. She grabbed a stool from the back of the stage and pulled it to the front mic while Vinny and Isaac got off the stage, taking a water break. Xavier grabbed his own stool and an acoustic guitar, settling down on it. Monique took a deep breath and nodded her head.

Xavier began playing, the song soft and quiet as Monique put one hand on the mic stand, happy that Vinny had adjusted it for her.

"_Took a deep breath in the mirror. He didn't like it when I wore high heels, but I do. Turn the lock and put my headphones on. He always said he didn't get this song but I do, I do. Walked in expecting you'd be late but you got here early and you stand and wave. I walk to you. You pull my chair out and help me in and you don't know how nice that is, but I do."_ She sang, her voice was perfect for the song, sounding shy and sweet. _"And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid." _She looked to Xavier, who smiled at her, and she matched his smile, face lighting up._ "I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did. I've been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end. But on a Wednesday in a café, I watched it begin again."_

"I bet they sound beautiful together." One of Hikaru's guests said in slight awe. Hikaru didn't want to admit it out loud, but he bet she was right. Xavier had an amazing vocal range, as did Monique, and their voices would complement each other's. Hikaru was sure Xavier would sound amazing with anyone because he would match his tone with theirs and nothing would sound bad with his voice singing it.

He wanted to look away, because seeing Monique and Xavier smile at each other like that while she sang a love song was hurting him but he couldn't pull his eyes from Xavier and the peacefulness he had about him.

The guests clapped once the song ended and Monique's face kept a huge smile on it, overjoyed that the guests enjoyed the song and her singing. "Uhm, thanks!" She said into the mic and Hikaru wanted to hate her but he was finding it hard to.

"You okay?" He jumped, startled by the voice and hand on his back. He looked back, seeing Vinny standing beside him, his always soft smile present on his face. Hikaru quickly nodded his head, wondering if Vinny could tell how Hikaru's affections were shifting. "Monique has a very beautiful voice, it can make you memorized."

"Uh, yeah." Hikaru agreed. Vinny patted his back again before he began walking towards the stage, ready to practice the next song. He caught Xavier's eye again and smiled at him, waving awkwardly. Xavier wasn't able to hold back his smile this time and waved back at Hikaru, making the black haired male feel jittery.

* * *

"Don't you look dashing?" Xavier questioned Hikaru, approaching him by the punch table, the party having just started. Monique was singing at the moment, letting Xavier have a little time to enjoy the party. "Why aren't you dancing?"

"I always look dashing." Hikaru said confidently, taking in Xavier's, as usual at these events, loose formal wear. His tie was already looking like it was loosened and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. Hikaru wished he could pull off looking so casual in formal wear. "I got thirsty. Are you going to dance?"

"Hm, I might, but I think my breaks from singing will mostly be me still playing an instrument or having some punch." Xavier shrugged, getting him a small cup of the drink, sipping it as he looked around the large ballroom decked out for Valentines Day. "Then we'll be able to return to our normal routine."

"Yeah, what's the deal with that?" Hikaru asked, annoyed by how little time they spent together in the past week.

"Sorry love, believe me when I say we've been busy. I haven't been meaning to ignore you." Xavier truly didn't. Not being able to spend time with Hikaru was just as annoying as not getting a cigarette when he needed one. He was slowly becoming addicted to this boy and it wasn't going to end well for him. "Oh, I've got to get back. Maybe we'll get some time together tonight." He winked at Hikaru after he said this and went back to the stage, leaving Hikaru flustered.

"Are you alright?" Yuukio asked, approaching the black haired twin. "Don't you want to dance with the others?"

"Uh, yeah, I just needed something to drink." He motioned to his cup and Yuukio poured herself a cup as the band started their next song.

"Oh, this is one of Mona's songs!" Yuukio exclaimed, both of their eyes going to the stage. Monique was at the front and Xavier was next to her, playing his guitar. The lights were dimming as the song got a little louder.

"_Midnight, you come and pick me up no headlights. Long drive, could end in burning flames or paradise. Fade into view, it's been a while since I have even heard from you. I should just tell you to leave cause I Know exactly where it leads but I watch us go round and round each time."_ She sang, holding onto the mic. _"You got that James Dean day dream look in your eye and I got that red lip classic thing that you like and when we go crashing down, we come back every time. Cause we never go out of style! We never go out of style!"_

Hikaru tightened his hold on his cup, feeling a little sick.

"_So it goes, he can't keep his wild eyes on the road. Takes me home, lights are off, he's taking off his coat. I say 'I heard that you been out and about with some other girl, some other girl' He says-"_

"_What you've heard it's true but I can't stop thinking about you and I." _Xavier sang, looking at her.

"_I said 'I've been there too a few times'. Cause You got that James Dean day dream look in your eye and I got that red lip classic thing that you like and when we go crashing down, we come back every time. Cause we never go out of style. We never go out of style."_

"Isn't it so good?" Yuukio asked, oblivious to how Hikaru felt about the song. He didn't want to listen to this song that about Xavier and Monique and how great they looked together. "She was so nervous to ask him for help since the song is about him, but he was so relaxed about it. He's written songs about her, she's written songs about him. It's good coping. I doubt she'll sing it tonight, but you should hear the one she wrote about being over him, it's beautiful."

"What?" Hikaru asked, wondering if he heard her correctly over the music.

"Yeah? It's a beautiful song. I'm really glad Monique and Xavier are friends now. A friendship fits them so much better than a relationship and they really work well with each other."

"She's not interested in Xavier?" Hikaru asked and Yuukio laughed, making him a bit annoyed. "No need to laugh at me."

"I'm sorry, Hikaru, it's just laughable. Monique is completely over Xavier, those two will not try a relationship ever again, like I said before, friendship fits them better. Why are you getting so upset?" She asked seriously, noticing his expression change.

"I'm not upset, just curious." He covered, looking towards the stage again and sipping his punch to avoid any more questions. He felt so stupid, he got all upset and riled up for nothing. Monique wasn't a threat, she was just a musical friend to Xavier. He sighed, relaxing a bit as this set in over him. He set his cup down as the song ended and Kaoru approached them. He smirked when Yuukio put her cup down, obviously ready to dance with Kaoru. "Too slow!" He stuck out his tongue at his brother and grabbed Yuukio, pulling her onto the dance floor for the next song while Kaoru glared after him, face red.

* * *

Hikaru kept catching Xavier's eye and he was starting to get frustrated because Xavier was way too good looking, especially when he winked at Hikaru.

"You okay?" Haruhi asked, startling Hikaru and he nodded his head. He moved his eyes from Xavier to Haruhi, meeting the girl's brown eyes. "You shouldn't tease Kaoru by stealing away Yuukio everytime he gets a chance to dance with her."

"Oh, it's funny, don't you agree?" Hikaru questioned, smirking while Haruhi rolled her eyes.

"_I'm hurting, baby, I'm broken down. I need your loving, loving. I need it now. When I'm without you I'm something weak. You got me begging, begging. I'm on my knees. I don't wanna be needing your love. I just wanna be deep in your love and it's killing me when you're away, ooh, baby. 'Cause I really don't care where you are, I just wanna be there where you are and I gotta get one little taste."_ Xavier sang, eyes on Hikaru. Hikaru could feel someone looking at him and he turned to see Xavier staring at him as he sang. _"Sugar, yes please. Would you come and put it down on me? I'm right here, cause I need little love, a little sympathy. Yeah you show me good loving, make it alright. Need a little sweetness in my life. Your sugar, yes please. Would you come and put it down on me?"_ His voice hit all the high notes and Hikaru tried to ignore the suggestive lyrics but he knew he wasn't going to win this battle. Was Xavier just trying to tease him with what he wasn't going to get for at least a few more days?

"This song is pretty suggestive, but then again, this is Xavier singing." She continued but Hikaru didn't even bother looking at her, his eyes were locked in on Xavier.

"_I want that red velvet. I want that sugar sweet. Don't let nobody touch it unless that somebody's me. I gotta be a man, there ain't no other way, 'cause girl you're hotter than a Southern California day. Never wanna play no games, you don't gotta be afraid. Don't give me all that shy shit. No make-up on, that's my sugar!"_

"I like it." Hikaru said mind going places it really shouldn't. The song ended and he saw Xavier nod towards him and then towards the door leading out into the hallway. Xavier got off the stage after telling Isaac something, and went towards the doors. "Uh-I gotta use the restroom, I'll be right back." He excused himself and didn't wait for a reply as he pushed his way towards the doors.

Once he was out in the quiet hallway, he looked around before an arm slipped around his waist.

"Love, what took you so long?" Xavier questioned in his ear, voice low and quiet. "C'mon." Hikaru wasn't going to object and let Xavier led him into a dark janitor's closet.

"I didn't have much of a warning." Hikaru told him once the door was shut and locked. Xavier had him pressed against the wall and Hikaru wanted him so badly he didn't want to wait. "I missed you." He complained, putting his arms around Xavier's neck.

"Missed you too." Xavier's mouth was on his neck and Hikaru let out a content sigh. "But I promise once the mates head back home you'll have my full attention. I only got a few minutes now." He sucked at Hikaru's weak spot and the male groaned.

"They better be good then." Hikaru retorted and Xavier kissed him full on, not having time to tease Hikaru. Hikaru opened his mouth eagerly, not wanting to waste any time and giving into his body's cravings. He was starting to feel so hot but a chill ran down his spine as he felt Xavier's hand began to run down his chest. It stopped at his belt and Hikaru heard the belt come undone and he broke the kiss for air as Xavier's other hand went down to help. "Z-Zave-"

"It's alright, love." Hikaru felt all his blood head south at the sound of Xavier's voice and he felt a hand enter his pants.

"A-Ah!" He exclaimed as Xavier began to palm him through his boxers, making Hikaru grow hard. "Time.."

"We got time for this, and you've been so good and patient." Xavier continued, nibbling at Hikaru's ear while he palmed Hikaru's hard cock through his boxers. Hikaru closed his eyes, bucking his hips for more friction, when the touches stopped. He felt his pants be pulled down all the way and he opened his eyes to see Xavier yank down his boxers.

"Xavier-!" He exclaimed, the cool air hitting his cock, along with Xavier's hand, as he begin to pump it with short strokes.

"Next time when we aren't pressed for time, it'll be better." Xavier said and Hikaru had no clue what he meant until Xavier took his cock into his mouth. He let out some strange noise, a mix between a moan and a grunt of surprise, and gripped onto Xavier's hair. Xavier's tongue ran along the bottom as he pulled off of him, then swirled over the head before taking him into his mouth again.

"God, Xavier." Hikaru moaned, closing his eyes again, the pleasure running through him.

"Like it?" Xavier questioned, pulling off of him again, using his hand to continue to pump him. "Next time will be far better." Hikaru couldn't see how it was going to be better as Xavier took him in again, bobbing his head quickly, making Hikaru gasp and tangle his fingers in Xavier's hair, needing something to hold onto. Xavier began to hum and Hikaru's knees felt weak as the vibrations ran over his cock, the jolts of pleasure starting to run down his spin.

"Xav-Zave, goin'." He panted, knowing he wasn't going to last much longer. He was surprised he lasted this long with how amazing it felt, along with the adrenaline that pumping through his body because they were doing this at school, with all their friends a room or two down.

"That's okay, love, cum." Xavier said as he pulled his mouth off of Hikaru's cock, running his tongue underneath it again. The sounds Hikaru was making was music to Xavier's ears and he wished he had more time to enjoy them, but this was better than nothing. He took the head into his mouth again as Hikaru's moans increased.

"Xavier!" He exclaimed, hitting his climax and cumming, Xavier's mouth still on his cock. He panted, pleasure settling over him. He felt more dazed than usual and he could hear Xavier's chuckles.

"Next time will be more fun, and I'll let you buck your hips all you want." Xavier was by his ear again and if Hikaru could get hard again so quickly, he would, but he needed some time to recover. He pulled his boxers and pants back up, then got Xavier to fix his belt because he still felt dazed and weak from the blow job. "Love, you're adorable." Xavier kissed him, slowly this time. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Hikaru nodded his head, hearing clapping coming from the party. How long how they been gone?"

"Oops, I need to get back." Xavier said, hearing the clapping as well. He slowly opened the door, peaking his head out to make sure the coast was clear. "Come on, you do too. Kaoru might began to wonder where you are." He opened the door more and Hikaru followed him out and down the hallway, the sounds from the party getting louder and louder. "I'll talk to you later, yeah?" Xavier questioned when they got to the door. Hikaru nodded his head and Xavier ducked into the room and Hikaru waited a minute before he entered the room as well.

He knew that no one knew what just happened, but he felt like they all did.

* * *

Vinny did. He gave Xavier a knowing look when he caught sight of Hikaru entering the room, still looking flushed. "Dude." He muttered and Xavier knew he was caught. "Do you think this is a good idea?"

"No, not at all." Xavier replied, looking to Hikaru. "It's a terrible, terrible idea, but I knew it was when I started it."

"As long as you know." Vinny replied, not pressing it. He knew Xavier was already hating himself for letting it get this far, he didn't need someone else riding his ass about it.


	41. We Were Never Good At Selling

**My laptop broke down and I had to get repairs, so that's why it took me so long to update! I had this chapter all ready to post but then BOOM screen was broken and I had to cough up the cash to get it fixed. My heart and wallet hurt. **

**I LOVE LOVE the Cab! Yall are adorable I love yall.**

**I'll consider all the songs recommended so thank you! **

**I don't know the geographical layout of japan or if it would be warmer by the coast and yeah I don't think they normally have a break in February but we need a beach chapter it's like fanfiction law**

* * *

"The beach?" Xavier questioned, only hearing half of the conversation that was happening in front of him. They were all at Hikaru and Kaoru's house, scattered about the living room that was upstairs in their house. It was more like a rec room than a living room, but Xavier wasn't going to argue the name of it.

"Yes! We deserve a nice break after throwing that amazing party!" Tamaki exclaimed, over the moon about a beach trip. "It'll be much warmer by the coast and Kyoya has graciously offered us to stay at one of his family's summer villas!"

"_One_ of his villas?" Haruhi muttered, looking disgusted. "I hate rich people."

"Awah, dove, lighten up." Xavier chuckled, looking over at her. She still had the expression on her face and Xavier knew which battles to fight and which not to, so he let it go. He yawned and stretched his arms on the back of the couch, Hikaru sitting next to him, content with his position. "Wait, don't we have school? I'm fine with skipping but you lot ain't the type to bow out for the beach."

"We have a break coming up." Hikaru and Kaoru said together, in perfect sync despite sitting on opposite sides of the room. Kaoru was across from them in a love seat with Yuukio.

"Oh." Xavier mumbled, not knowing about this break. "We won't be inviting my cousin, will we? I prefer that we don't."

"Renge told me earlier that she was going to visit home with Mona for the break." Haruhi said, remembering how excited the girl had been to get to see her parents again. "So we won't have to worry about her."

"And you can dress up in your cute bathing suits daddy loves to see!" Tamaki was gone again and Xavier was not about to try and stop him.

"So when are we going?" He asked Kyoya, shifting his attention to the male with glasses.

"Well, the break will be starting Wednesday, so we can leave that morning, or we can leave Tuesday night, you guys can decide. We'll be back on Sunday so we will be prepared for school on Monday." He said, tapping the screen of his phone, double checking the dates.

"Let's leave Tuesday night!" Hikaru spoke up, wanting to get to the beach as soon as possible.

"No way, Wednesday morning. We'll be more refreshed. If we go Tuesday night we'll all be crabby and fight with each other." Yuukio said, not wanting to make Hikaru angry, but she preferred traveling Wednesday. "And by fighting each other I mean Tamaki grinding all of our nerves." They looked to Tamaki, who was still annoying Haruhi, and agreed on Wednesday.

* * *

"I need a fag." Xavier was the first out of the large SUV that had driven them to the beach house. His nerves were shot and he needed a stress reliever.

"I need quiet." Haruhi was the second out of the car, holding onto the straps of her bookbag to distract herself from punching Tamaki.

"You'll get both, but no smoking in the house." Kyoya told Xavier as the rest got out of the car and retrieved their bags. "Please refrain from breaking anything, got it?" He eyed the twins and Tamaki for this, but it applied to everyone, as they walked up the stairs and he unlocked the door.

It opened into a foyer and then the large living room. The kitchen was further back with a great view of the ocean and backdoor to their beach access. There were stairs to the right and left that led to hallways.

"Bedrooms are to your left and right, so you can pick." Kyoya said and Xavier went right, but Kaoru went left. Hikaru paused, looking to his twin and then Xavier, before he pulled his bag and followed Kaoru. It would look far too odd if he didn't bunk with his brother, despite his inner protests. Yuukio frowned and followed Xavier, the two being the only ones to go right, as Haruhi, Tamaki, and Kyoya went left.

"Just sneak into his room at night, crumpet." Xavier said as he glanced back, seeing Yuukio following after him with her disappointment expression.

"Hikaru will be there." She replied, as Xavier stopped at a door and opened it. He deemed the room worthy and claimed it and Yuukio decided to take the one a few doors down, wanting a view of the ocean.

"Eh, try it anyway." Xavier smirked, going into his room. It was a nice size room and it had its own balcony, pleasing him. He tossed his bag along with his ukulele case onto the bed and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it as he opened the doors, content with the nice breeze as he relaxed.

"Yeah, and just show up in my pjs with Hikaru there?" Yuukio questioned, coming into his room. She came out onto the balcony, sitting on the hammock that was there.

"Crumpet, just trust me." Xavier said, exhaling smoke. "I can take care of Hikaru."

* * *

It wasn't ideal weather to go swimming or to play on the beach much, even though the temperature was nice.

Xavier went on a jog, needing space from the others and time for himself. Mostly he wanted to think about what he was going to do about Hikaru. He couldn't deny his growing feelings towards Hikaru, though he kept sweeping them under the rug, acting like a child and hoping they would go away. He had to remind himself why it wouldn't work. Hikaru was sixteen, he was eighteen. He would be leaving after the school year was over to go California and get help that he needed and then start working on the band with his friends. There would be no time for a relationship and he wanted to have himself straight before he even attempted a relationship. Besides, didn't Hikaru still want Haruhi?

He groaned as the song in his earbuds changed and kept jogging, passing by a few people who were tanning. They gave him odd looks, because this beach was private and no way was he rich enough to have a villa here, right? This made him push himself, deciding on going another mile instead of turning around to head back to the villa.

He was sick of this attitude. It was too much pressure to try and fit in anymore when it was obvious he didn't. He still got odd looks around school and other students still whispered about him. It was frustrating, even though he barely cared what the others thought. He had no clue what Renge had told them, but he wasn't that bad, was he?

He sighed through his nose, keeping his pace up. He would be done with school soon and he'd be free of his father's grip. He'd take this mother's last name and he'd be free.

Once he finished the mile, he glanced at his phone, checking the time. He had been gone for an hour, and he knew he should start heading back because it would take him longer to jog back now that he was tired. He stretched his legs and arms, then gulped down the water he brought with him and started the jog back.

The jog and alone time was helping greatly, even though he was still tense. He turned up his music and tried to stop thinking.

* * *

"Lunch smells good." Haruhi said from her spot outside. The screen door to the kitchen was letting the smell of food waft through it and her stomach growled. Hikaru sat at the end of the table with Kaoru, watching the waves as Yuukio replied to Haruhi and they carried on a conversation.

When the food was set down, he was pulled into the conversation along with Kaoru. Most of it was about Yuukio's next steps in the business, her manager was confident in her abilities and Yuukio was excited for new challenges. Fortunate for her and Kaoru, many of her jobs would be in New York so she would be close to the others as they went to school.

Tamaki and Kyoya came down and ate as well and Hikaru was content being at the beach. He wanted to play in the sand and water, but he knew it wasn't the right season for it. It still felt nice and it was good to relax and take a break from homework and tests.

Once they were all done and Hikaru was tired of sitting outside and talking, he moved to the living room, plopping down on the couch to nap.

"Hey." He heard after he closed his eyes for a few minutes. He opened them and saw Xavier, hair flopped over and shirt over his shoulder, body wet with sweat. Hikaru looked up at him, staring at his chest, the phoenix tattoo still bright against the rest of his skin.

"Hey. How was the jog?" Hikaru asked, sitting up since he wasn't going to sleep.

"Good. Ran a couple of miles. Detoxed myself as Vinny would say." Xavier wiped his forehead, needing a shower.

"You were gone for two hours, how many miles did you do?" Hikaru knew Xavier had great endurance, he could run forever if he paced himself correctly. Xavier shrugged, not remembering the number. "You're sweaty."

"Yeah, I'm going to shower. Were you trying to nap?" He asked and it was Hikaru's time to shrug. "Anyway, I'm off. Oh, you wanna come to my room tonight?"

"Thought I already was?" Hikaru smirked when Xavier looked surprised.

"Gettin' cocky there, love." Xavier ruffled Hikaru's hair and went up the stairs, heading to his bathroom.

* * *

Hikaru didn't know how to tell his brother he was going to sleep with Xavier that night, and probably every night for the rest of the trip, so he just left the bedroom once he was sure Haruhi, Tamaki, Kyoya, and Yuukio had all cleared out the living room.

It was dark as he kept down the hallway so he used the flashlight on his phone to make sure he didn't trip on anything. He got down the stairs quickly and almost yelped when a bright light hit him.

"Hikaru?" Yuukio questioned, using her phone for a flashlight as well. Both stared at each other, unsure what to even do. "I suppose Xavier was correct." She mumbled, guessing Xavier asked Hikaru to stay with him so Yuukio could sleep with Kaoru.

"Uh, sure." Hikaru shrugged, not entirely sure what she was talking about, but the two carried on with their late night adventure. Hikaru made it to Xavier's room and slowly opened the door, surprised it was unlocked. He locked it behind him and stepped into the room further, seeing Xavier on the bed, eyes glued to his laptop and the earbuds noticeable in his ears.

"You took a while." Xavier said when he looked up and patted the spot next to him. Hikaru hurried over, jumping onto the bed as Xavier pulled out his earbuds and shut his laptop, setting it on the nightstand by the bed.

"I ran into Yuukio on the way over. What were you correct about?" He questioned, not understanding what she was talking about.

"Oh, I told her she'd get to be with Kaoru. Guess she thinks I asked you to spend the night with me, which I did, technically." Xavier explained, yawning. He was worn out, mostly from the jog earlier.

"You're tired, aren't you?" Hikaru asked, poking Xavier's cheek. "How boring."

"I know, dreadfully dull." Xavier said and settling back, yawning again. "Sorry love, the drive up here and the jog drained me. Tomorrow night will be more fun." He felt Hikaru relax against him, ready to go to sleep as well.

"It better be."

* * *

"You know how to play volleyball?" Hikaru asked, looking at Xavier as he stretched. There was a group of kids their age a little ways off playing volleyball. They invited the club, Xavier was the only one to accept and they were setting up the next game as Xavier finished stretching.

"Yeah, Isaac loves it." Xavier replied and Hikaru wanted to pout and tell him that Xavier had promised that morning to hang out with Hikaru today but he resisted, knowing exercise was good for Xavier, and besides, all they were doing now was soaking up some sun. Xavier left the group to go join the game and Hikaru watched him.

"I want to learn how to play." Haruhi said, putting a bookmark in the book she was reading. "I didn't know Xavier could play."

"I didn't either." Yuukio said, enjoying the sun. Hikaru returned back to playing a game on his phone, letting the game capture his attention.

* * *

He didn't know how long it had been before he looked up again and Xavier was shirtless, as were a few of the other guys. Hikaru didn't mind him being shirtless until he saw the other girls staring at him. What the hell did they think they were doing? He frowned, feeling powerless. He couldn't go over there and plant one on Xavier and show those girls that Xavier belonged to him. All he could do was watch.

Xavier looked at back at him and even though they had some distance between them, Hikaru saw Xavier wink at him. He waved back at him, catching some of the girls' attention. The game ended soon after and Hikaru trotted over, greeting Xavier.

"Have fun?" Hikaru questioned, stepping closer to him and shooting a look at the girls. Xavier nodded his head using his shirt to wipe the sweat off his forehead. "Gee, you're really sweaty." Xavier chuckled, noticing how Hikaru was behaving, and leaned in so his mouth was close to Hikaru's right ear.

"I'm sure I can get you pretty sweaty tonight if you're up for it." He said into his ear and Hikaru's face lit up. "Eh, maybe even sooner, love. I do need a shower." Hikaru felt Xavier's hand on his waist and he froze when Xavier pressed a chaste, soft kiss to his neck.

Xavier knew the risk was high with that display of affection but seeing Hikaru's flustered expression and the girls' red faces, it made it worth it. He chuckled, unable to hide his smirk. Hikaru glanced behind him, making sure the others didn't see that, but they were all facing the ocean, relieving him.

"Let's go." Hikaru tugged on Xavier's hand and pulled him towards the villa. Xavier kept up, not having to be told twice. "You're lucky they didn't see that." He told Xavier, but he knew he would've done the same thing. Xavier shrugged as they entered the house, both happy to see no one.

Xavier took the lead, pulling Hikaru along with him up the stairs and into his bathroom. He turned on the shower before pinning Hikaru against the vanity. "We'll have to keep quiet, which is a shame, love, since your voice is perfect." He said into Hikaru's ear, his voice low and rough, sending shivers down Hikaru's spine. Xavier kissed him roughly, not that Hikaru minded the roughness at all. He gladly returned the kiss and yanked off his shirt when they broke for air. Hikaru eagerly kissed him, pushing away from the vanity so he could shimmy out of his shorts, all while not breaking the kiss.

Xavier guided him towards the shower and kicked off his shorts as well, too focused on Hikaru to care where he kicked them. His fingers slipped down past the elastic on Hikaru's boxers and pulled them down. Hikaru mimicked him and did the same to Xavier, making the blond male smirk against Hikaru's lips. "C'mon." Xavier said, stepping out of his boxers and letting Hikaru do the same as he pulled him into the shower.

The water was warm as it hit Hikaru and he rubbed it out of his eyes as his back was pressed against the now heated tile. He moaned when Xavier pressed against him, growing hard when he felt Xavier's length rub against his. "Xavier." He panted, feeling one of Xavier's hand travel down his stomach and towards his crotch.

"Making good on what I told you before." Xavier said before he sucked at Hikaru's neck while using one hand to pump Hikaru's cock. He moved his mouth downward, sucking and biting as he went, before getting on his knees and taking the head of Hikaru's length into his mouth.

"Mhm!" Hikaru covered his mouth with his hand, trying to keep the moans down incase everyone was back in the house. His other hand went to tangle up in Xavier's hair, gripping as Xavier bobbed his head, taking it all into his mouth before pulling out.

"Good, yeah?" Xavier asked, looking up at Hikaru, using his hand to pump and running his tongue along the underside of Hikaru's cock, getting a whine from the male. He kept his movements slow, teasing Hikaru. "C'mon, love, how is it?"

"P-please." Hikaru whined, pushing Xavier's head to get him to take him into his mouth again. "Don't tease." Xavier decided to be nice and took him into his mouth again, bobbing his mouth over it. Hikaru groaned watching him with half opened eyes. He bucked his hips, the pleasure getting stronger. He put his other hand on Xavier's head, bucking again as he moaned.

Xavier didn't protest against Hikaru's movements and continued to suck on him, Hikaru's moans turning him on. He groaned as Hikaru pushed him to take more of his cock, feeling himself harden at the movements. "X-Xavieeerrr." Hikaru panted, feeling so close to the edge. Xavier picked up his pace and hummed, sending vibrations around Hikaru. "Zave, Zave….goin'…." Hikaru's breathing quickened and his voice went up a pitch as he moaned, bucking his hips more frantically, trying to reach his climax. He cried out as he came, squeezing his eyes shut and gripping tightly onto Xavier's hair.

Xavier pulled off of his cock and wiped off his mouth as Hikaru came down from his climax, still panting. He slowly stood up and pressed against Hikaru again, not ready to finish. "You make the cutest sounds, love." He said into his ear, trying to hold himself back from taking Hikaru right then and there. He put his hands on Hikaru's hips, rubbing circles with his thumbs.

"That felt so good." Hikaru murmured, reaching up to kiss Xavier again, wanting more. He felt Xavier rub against him and he moved one hand down to slowly pump him. Xavier let out a low groan, biting Hikaru's shoulder.

"Yeah, love…" Xavier moaned when Hikaru sped up his pace. He moved his hands from Hikaru's hips to his butt, kneading at it and getting Hikaru to moan and grow aroused, gasping and letting go of Xavier's length in surprise. Xavier took this chance to grind against Hikaru, both moaning at the friction. Hikaru wrapped his fingers around both of their cocks, pressing them together for more friction. "Fuck." Xavier grunted when he felt what Hikaru was doing. He began thrusting slowly, making Hikaru whine at the pleasure of it.

Xavier kept his hands on Hikaru's ass and ran a finger down his crack, not wanting to go too far with him too quickly.

"Xavier." Hikaru moaned and pulled him in for another sloppy kiss, both picking up the speed of their hips as they grinding against each other, trying to reach their climax.

"You look so good, love." Xavier panted, getting close to his release. He bit at Hikaru's neck and moaned when he felt Hikaru's nails run down his chest with his free hand. "You wanna cum?"

"Y-Yeah." Hikaru moaned, knees shaking at how close he was to cumming. Xavier's mouth on his neck and hands on his butt inched him so close to release. He gripped on Xavier's chest as he came again, moaning as he did so. He heard Xavier grunt a few moments later and he came as well, resting his head against Hikaru's shoulder.

"Fuck, that was good." He panted, both staying in their positions as they came down from the high. "You okay, love?" He slowly pulled away, hoping it wasn't too much too fast for Hikaru.

"That was great." Hikaru smiled, relieving Xavier of any worry he had about it. "But now I'm sweaty."

"Told you." Xavier chuckled and pulled Hikaru to the center of the shower so they could wash up.

* * *

"A hike?" Yuukio questioned, not seeming to be impressed with the idea. Tamaki nodded his head, obviously this was his idea, and lead the way onto one of the many trails around the area. Tamaki had wanted more bonding time, and nothing was better than forcing everyone to come hiking with him. "I didn't put on a strong enough sunscreen." Yuukio mumbled, hoping she wouldn't get burnt on their adventure.

"It's mostly shady." Kaoru said, easing her worries and smiling at her, getting a smile in return from the model. Hikaru was excited about the hike and kept pointing out different animals with Kaoru.

"Aren't they adorable?" Yuukio asked Xavier, smiling at the twins.

"Oh, absolutely precious." Xavier replied with a smirk, putting his hands in his gym shorts' pockets, watching Hikaru closely. He had to watch him closely, or Hikaru would trip or mess with something he shouldn't and get himself into some form of trouble, especially with Kaoru at his side.

"Waterfall!" The twins exclaimed at the same time as they made it to an opening a little ways off the trail. They went over, looking over the small cliff that the waterfall poured off of. Xavier wasn't too sure at the sturdiness of the ground and even if the fall into the water below wasn't long, it was still dangerous.

"Eh, lo-I mean, Hikaru…" He caught himself, making a mental note to be more careful, and looked at Hikaru who was looking over the edge with Yuukio. "C'mon." Xavier gently walked over, not wanting to chance it, and tried to get both to get away from the edge.

"Oh, come on, Zavy it's all good!" Hikaru exclaimed, but Xavier felt the ground shift and he pushed Hikaru back as the ground beneath him and Yuukio's feet crumbled.

"Fuck!" He exclaimed and Yuukio screamed as they fell. The others shouted from above and Hikaru felt his heart drop. He rushed over and saw them crash into the water below.

"Xavier!?" He screamed, not seeing either him or Yuukio.

"Yuukio!?" Kaoru was right beside him, just as panicked as Hikaru.

All of them watched and waited, holding their breath. Finally Xavier's head popped up and he was coughing, but looked okay. Yuukio followed, coughing just as much as Xavier when she finally reached the surface.

"Are you two okay?" Haruhi called out and Xavier shot them a thumbs up as he and Yuukio swam to the shore, pulling themselves out.

"We're okay! We'll meet you lot at the end of the trail! They should all led to the same place." Xavier called up to them, grunting afterwards. "Fuck." He muttered, looking over at Yuukio. "Glad we left our phones in the car."

"I know, right?" She replied, wringing out her hair, trying to get the excess water off of her. "This is horrible weather to be walking around soaked."

"It could be worse, crumpet. At least it's warm." He pushed himself up and brushed his hair back so it was out of his face. "Come along, we need to get a move on." She groaned, but listened, and the two were on a path in no time. "I told you not to stand near the edge."

"I assumed it was safe, they do have people walking these trails often!" She exclaimed, not wanting to be the one at fault here. "At least we're okay. Your reaction was brilliant, though." She said, referring to how he pushed Hikaru out of harm's way.

"Uh, well…" He trailed off, embarrassed. He didn't want Hikaru injured and his only thought was making sure Hikaru wasn't going to fall with them. "I didn't really think about it too much." Which was true, it was an instinct to protect Hikaru. "This is a pain in the ass though."

"It is. How is this a vacation?" She questioned, throwing her hands up in the air. "I want to spend time with Kaoru."

"Don't you spend enough time with him at night?" Xavier chuckled when Yuukio looked away, flustered.

"I could say the same for you and Hikaru. You two seemed to be constantly together, and where did you two disappear to yesterday after your volleyball game?" She asked and Xavier would love to tell her how he had Hikaru panting and moaning against the shower wall, but she wouldn't be too pleased to hear that story. "He's grown attached to you. Don't you think it's a bad idea?"

"What do you mean?" Xavier asked, looking at her with a serious expression. "He's my best mate, of course he's attached to me. I'm quite attached to him."

"Yes yes, I understand that he's your best mate, but, you'll be leaving right after graduation. You'll be living in California while the others and I are in New York, including Hikaru. Isn't that wrong? You being with him every day, then suddenly disappearing?" She questioned, stating her case.

"I won't be suddenly disappearing, he knows that I will be living in California, and it's not like we can't skype or call each other." He argued, not liking how she was making it seem like it was him that was going to be leaving Hikaru behind. He wasn't leaving him behind at all, he was going to improve himself and make his dreams come true.

"But, Xavier, he's attached to you. I think he's too attached if you understand what I mean." She continued, frowning. Was Xavier not understanding this at all? "Graduation is rapidly approaching." She added, knowing graduation was not even a month away.

"I know." He said, annoyed with what she was saying. He knew Hikaru was attached to him, he was attached to him too. He also knew when graduation was, he was counting down the days until he could leave Japan and actually get help for his issues and be with his best friends and start his dream career. Leaving Hikaru behind was something he didn't want to do, but it had to be done. Hikaru would be with Haruhi or find someone else and Xavier….well, he didn't know what he'd do. "He'll be fine."

Yuukio went quiet after this, seeing how Xavier's mood had changed. "But…will you?" She asked, rubbing her arm. "I don't think Hikaru will be fine, and I don't think you will either. You weren't okay after Tiffany."

"Who the hell told you about her?" Xavier growled, hearing the girl's name pissed him off instantly.

"I talked to Stella about it." Yuukio answered, looking ahead.

"Tiffany is different than Hikaru, okay? Hikaru isn't engaged or dating someone and leading me on and using me as some play thing and toying with my feelings." Xavier ranted, hating that she brought the American girl up. "Tiffany and Hikaru aren't anywhere close to being like each other." The only thing they had in common was that Xavier had a friends with benefits relationship with them and that Xavier had feelings towards them, and Yuukio didn't need to know about that. Hikaru wasn't fucking with his head like Tiffany had though. "Tiffany and Hikaru have nothing in common, so there is no reason to continue this chat." He shut her down, not wanting to go any further with it.

He didn't want to discuss this with Yuukio, or anyone.

* * *

Xavier strummed on his ukulele as he swung slowly on the hammock. He was worn out from the awful hike and the tiring conversation with Yuukio. It had taken them an hour to get back to everyone, and at that point both of them were irritated and in terrible moods.

He heard the door to his room open and close, then heard soft footsteps on the floor as someone made their way to the balcony. "Hey." Hikaru greeted at the door. Xavier nodded to him and Hikaru came over, slowly climbing onto the hammock to join him.

"Yo." Xavier replied, his nerves settling with Hikaru next to him. "What's up?"

"Nothing, did I interrupt you?" Hikaru asked and Xavier shook his head. "Good. Were you going to sing?"

"Do you want me to?" He asked, glancing over at Hikaru, who nodded his head eagerly. "Fine fine, I'll sing a song. It's normally not played on the ukulele but whatever." He said, knowing Hikaru wouldn't care too much. He began playing a song, hoping it sounded good.

"_Rushing in a small town, I forgot to call you. I'm running low on know how, with this beat I made for two. 'Cause I remember that I like you, no matter what I found. She said, 'It's nice to have your friends round but we're watching the television with no sound'. It's just you and I tonight why don't you figure my heart out? It's just you and I tonight, why don't you figure my heart out?" _He sang softly, voice almost getting carried away in the ocean breeze. He had no clue why he picked this song, it just came to him and he had to play it.

Hikaru looked content with it and that's all that mattered.

"_It's just you and I tonight, why don't you figure my heart out? It's just you and I tonight, why don't you figure my heart out?"_

"I liked it." Hikaru stated once he was done. Xavier set his ukulele on the table next to the hammock, deciding he was done for the night.

"It actually sounded pretty cool, I was surprised." He replied, outstretching his arm, inviting Hikaru to get closer, which he did happily.

"I was really worried about you." Hikaru admitted, pleased to be next to Xavier again. After the day's events, he was going to be far more careful.

"I was worried about you too."

"I wasn't the one that fell off a cliff into the water." Hikaru sighed, looking at Xavier. "Seriously, Xavier, what if you got seriously injured? I would've felt terrible, especially since you warned me and then saved me." Hikaru already felt terrible. He should've listened to Xavier when he warned him, but he didn't.

"Hey now, love, it's okay. I'm perfectly alright." Xavier pulled Hikaru closer. "I knew what I was doing, and it wasn't a long drop to the water. I didn't want you getting hurt. I can take a few punches, but you bruise so easily." He chuckled, looking at the hickey on Hikaru's shoulder that he had played off as a bruise earlier today when his tank top didn't cover it. Hikaru glared at him, but Xavier kissed his head, trying to reassure him. "It's all alright, no sense worrying about it now, just be prepared in the future."

"Fine…but I'm sorry." Hikaru offered up the apology, knowing Xavier wasn't mad at him, but he still felt terrible.

"It's alright, I forgive you." Xavier kissed his head again and felt Hikaru relax against him.


	42. I Wanna Kiss Your Neck

**Do any of y'all like Fairy Tail? This story is going to be finish soon (who knows truly tho) and I'm looking for my next forever long multi chaptered story and I've had a story in a my head for a little while so I'm just seeing what y'all are interested in! (any recs would be appreciated!)**

**sorry for all the breaks in the chapter but isnt mona bomb as hell now**

* * *

"Later." Xavier said as he pulled himself out of the car with his bag. Despite having sat in the back with Hikaru for the duration of the car ride, he was still exhausted from being cramped in a tight space with all of them for a long period of time. Hikaru looked after him, every part of him completely worn out. Sleeping with Xavier could be peaceful, or a night where one would get no sleep.

Xavier waved at them before the door to the house was opened, Monique was there and waved at the others as she let Xavier in. It looked as if she was asking him how the trip was as she shut the door. Hikaru sighed, leaning back into his seat.

"Did you have fun?" Monique asked, following Xavier as he walked up their stairs to his room.

"Yeah, it was quite nice. I fell off a cliff and into water but that was the only downside." He chuckled when her eyes widened. He unlocked the door to his room and entered the room, leaving the door open for Monique to follow, and she did, shutting the door behind her. He launched into the story as he unpacked his bag and sorted his things out. She took a seat on his computer chair, listening to the story, and then to the others stories about his trip.

"You spent a lot of time with Hikaru." Monique said this in the same tone of voice Yuukio had used on him a few days ago. He stopped throwing his dirty clothes in his hamper and looked at her. She looked nervous, like she didn't know what to say. He turned his attention back to his clothes, starting to get irritated.

"So?" He asked, wondering if she was going to tell him it wasn't fair to Hikaru.

"I'm not trying to pry and if you do not want to talk about it, I completely understand, but, do you…like Hikaru?" She asked and Xavier froze. "You two are close, extremely close. I don't want to sound odd, but I've been watching you two, and I'm sorry, but there's something there."

Xavier stayed quiet, slowly sorting his clothes once more. He didn't want to admit that he had broken his rule again, that he grew feelings for someone he wasn't supposed to, again. "Yes." He admitted, not looking at her. He finished with his clothes and put his bag under his bed again, looking at the bare walls in his room, his posters and pictures already in California. Jackal had found a place for the two of them to live and was encouraging Xavier to start sending his things over so they could leave right after graduation.

"Xavier…." Monique started, not believing she had been right.

"I know, it's not fair to him. I'm leaving right after graduation and we won't see each other so much. It's unfair that I've become a constant in his life." Xavier felt awful and he was ready for Monique to dig into him.

"No, Xavier, it's not fair to you." Monique got out of the chair and came over to him. "You've found someone who you can have a good relationship with and who understands you and you have to leave him." She patted his arm and the two sat on the bed together. Xavier looked at her, confused. "But don't give up hope, alright? You two can continue to be friends and I know things will be hectic the next few years, but you're still young. You two can work things out."

"Always hoping for that fairytale ending, yeah?" He questioned, looking at her, feeling pathetic. This idiotic sixteen year old brat had completely taken over his heart and Hikaru didn't even know it. "I don't deserve an ending like that, Mona, and I won't be getting it with him. He and I are just friends with benefits."

"Xavier." She grunted, not pleased with hearing that part. "Look, okay, that doesn't matter. What matters is that he cares about you just as much as you care about him. Fairytale endings can have rocky roads and hard choices leading up to them, but you have to try."

"What do you suggest I do? I can't be in a relationship right now or anytime soon. Even if he did…even if he did like me back, we wouldn't work." He hated talking about it. Everything was a mess and it was getting worse.

"I'm not sure what you should do, honestly. Maybe you two can talk about this?" She suggested, at a lost. "Just know that I'm here for you, okay?"

"Yeah, thanks Mona." He mumbled, sighing and looking at the carpet. "Vinny told me it was a shit idea and I knew it was a shit idea but I couldn't stop once I started."

"Have you two…?" She questioned, cheeks a light pink.

"No, no, love and I haven't had sex." He shook his head. "It's different, with him. We fool around but it's nothing like that. I didn't want to ruin it for him."

Monique held back on asking about calling Hikaru 'love', finding it extremely adorable that Xavier called him that without realizing it. "He's different, Xavier."

"I know." He frowned, rubbing his face. "And I'm me."

* * *

Xavier wanted to hide away in his hoodie all day. He hadn't even wanted to get out of bed, but Monique had convinced him to come to school and try to have a good day. He didn't feel well at all and it wasn't a great day for him.

"Are you okay?" Hikaru questioned and Xavier grunted, feeling like he needed a cigarette. Teachers were cramming exams down their throats and he didn't care about this school or his studies or his grades.

"Yeah." He replied, reaching into his pockets to feel his pack of cigarettes and his lighter.

"You sure?" Hikaru linked his arm through Xavier's and leaned into him, making a few female students in the hallway to 'awe'. Xavier wanted to flinch away but Hikaru felt nice against him so he released his old on his lighter and cigarette and focused in on the black haired male. "You want to take a nap or something?"

"That'd be lovely." Xavier sighed, leading Hikaru pull him into the library. Hikaru had gotten good at picking aisles and Xavier left the decision to him as Hikaru thought a few moments before pulling him down an aisle. They went all the way to the back and Xavier settled against the wall, setting his back to the side. Hikaru set an alarm on his phone, because they couldn't be late to club-again. Xavier pulled Xavier against him, letting him settled in-between his legs and lean against him. "You're so warm, love." Xavier held him close, not wanting to let him go.

"You're so comfy!" Hikaru exclaimed, kissing Xavier swiftly and shutting his eyes to go to sleep. Sleeping with Xavier was so perfect every time, Hikaru didn't want to let him leave for California. He couldn't tell him that though, he had to let him live his life, and he couldn't hold him back. Hikaru just had to spend as much time with Xavier as he could.

* * *

"Another party? We just had one!" Haruhi exclaimed after Tamaki suggested the idea.

"But, this will be the last party the host club will ever throw! We can do it after graduation and invite everyone and their families!" Tamaki exclaimed and everyone started to agree. The Host Club would be disbanding and all of them, except for Renge, would be heading to America. "Do you think your friends would mind coming back?"

"They were going to come for graduation anyway, so yeah, I'll get them on an earlier flight." Xavier nodded his head, leaning back on one of the couches, a cup of tea in his hands. "Give me the dates and I'll take care of it." He set down his cup and pulled out his phone, already contacting them.

"I'll let you know the details of that soon." Kyoya was already working everything out, as usual, while Tamaki shouted out plans. Hikaru watched Xavier who kept his eyes on his phone for the rest of the club meeting.

* * *

"Excuse me, Hikaru?" Monique questioned, causing Hikaru to stop and look at her. "Would you like to go out with me today? I want to go out, but Renge and Yuukio will both be busy."

"Uh." He had no clue what to say to this. Why did Monique want him to tag along with her? "Sure?" He questioned, still unsure. This was strange coming from Monique, but he was willing to at least see why she decided to ask him.

"Thank you, I'll come by your house after school and we can head off."

* * *

Hikaru fidgeted in the car, awkwardly silent as Monique texted beside him, looking equally as awkward. He had no clue why she invited him and he didn't tell Xavier about it, mostly because he assumed he was too busy with Vinny and the others to even bother looking at his phone.

"Sorry if this is weird." Monique said, sounding nervous as hell. "This is weird, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is." Hikaru agreed and she sighed, at least they both admitted to it being weird. "Why did you ask to hang out with me?"

"I just wanted to make sure we were okay." Monique started, but the car stopped, meaning they were at their destination. The driver opened Monique's door and helped her out, and shut the door after Hikaru got out.

They were at one of the shopping plazas. Hikaru pulled his scarf up, the snow falling gently to the ground was starting to irritate him. "Make sure we were okay?" Hikaru questioned as they began to walk towards the entrance of the building. She led them in and started towards one of the millions of cafés that were in the large shopping plaza.

"Yes." She nodded her head, cheeks red from the cold. "Are you okay with coffee? I know we just spent the entire club time eating cakes and drinking tea…."

"That's fine with me." Hikaru felt a little bad for her. He could tell she was nervous and it's not like either had a need to go shopping.

They ended up in the café portion of the bookstore of the plaza. It was a place Hikaru could find Haruhi studying at, or Xavier writing music at and drumming on his notebook with his pencil. Hikaru sipped his coffee from the mug, as Monique seemingly gathered her thoughts, sitting in front of him.

"I know you probably don't like me much, and I understand why. I was terrible to Xavier and you are his best friend." She began, her muffin untouched on its plate in front of her. Her mug had a red lipstick stain on it already. "Xavier and I talked about a lot of our issues out at his father's Christmas party, I wasn't sure if he told you much about that." He hadn't. "And I like to think we're on our way to becoming very good friends. He's helping me get into the music school he attending in California for next year and he's helping me with my songs too. I understand this is taking up a big portion of his time that he usually spends with you, and I'm quite sure this is making you dislike me even more."

Monique really got him spot on.

"I'd like to apologize for anything rude I said to you before and apologize for taking up Xavier's time. If possible, I was hoping we could start off fresh?" She questioned, her hands were gripped tightly onto the mug, worried to hear Hikaru's answer.

"Xavier is okay with you now, so I'm fine with starting off fresh." Hikaru said and Monique looked extremely relieved. "Is it that obvious I'm mad that you were taking up his time?" Now was his turn to be nervous.

"I think it's just obvious to me." She nodded her head before taking a quick sip of her drink. "I know how attached you are to Xavier and it's throwing you off that he's not available all the time. It's throwing you off knowing Vinny and the others will be taking up his time now too, right? Especially since he'll be leaving soon…"

"Yeah?" Hikaru questioned, wondering how much Monique knew.

"That's okay, really, it is." Monique told him, nodding her head eagerly. "You shouldn't feel bad for wanting more time with him, as long as you know that sometimes he has to spilt up his time and that you won't always get as much as someone else. Sorry if I'm over stepping my boundaries, I've just been watching you two for a while, I hope that doesn't sound creepy."

"It definitely does." Hikaru muttered, making her look away, embarrassed. "I know I have to share Xavier, he has other friends other than me, surprisingly since he can be a dick." He knew why Xavier had other friends, but he didn't want to admit that so openly to Monique.

"Xavier can be, but he's a good guy, I'm sure you know this though." Monique regained her composure and was now looking at Hikaru again. "When I dated him, we had tons of ups and downs and fights and break ups, but he wasn't a bad first boyfriend. I realize now that I was wrong, he was wrong, and there were so many different forces affecting our relationship. It just wasn't a good time for him and a relationship was the last thing he needed. It's probably the last thing he needs right now too." She continued and Hikaru's heart dropped.

He should've taken Xavier's warning about becoming friends with benefits more seriously, but he didn't, and now he was stuck in a tight spot. He wasn't sure entirely what he wanted or how he felt about everything but he knew one thing for certain, he liked Xavier.

"Xavier is one of those people who wants to have his life somewhat sorted out before he starts a relationship, and he really needs to sort out his life. He's got a lot of issues that he'll have to work on in California while the others finish up this last year." Monique continued, bracing Hikaru for what was going to happen. "It's good you and the others will be in New York for school. Much closer than Japan."

"Yeah." He mumbled, not wanting to finish the large cookie he had gotten. The thought of Xavier not being an everyday thing hurt him and it made him want to spend as much time with him as he could.

"Xavier is different, especially in this school." Monique said this softly, her voice gentle. "He pulls you in despite his rough exterior. His attitude, his looks, his personality, it's all hard to ignore. Plus, his voice, whether he's singing or just talking, it's captivating."

Hikaru mind started to think about Xavier and Monique spoke, how he acted, how he looked, how he spoke to Hikaru when it was just the two of them. "Yeah…"

"It's okay." Monique reached out and lightly patted Hikaru's arm. She seemed unsure of her actions but was confident in her words. "It truly is okay. You're a very good guy, Hikaru, I just want you to know that Xavier is still unstable, despite how he seems now. He's on the right path, he's going to get the help he needs and he's going to go out there and take his life back and live it to the fullest, but it'll be an unstable and bumpy journey."

"I'm okay with that. I want to try." Hikaru said without thinking. Monique stared at him before pulling her hand away and smiling down at her mug, nodding her head. Hikaru realized what he said and instantly wished he could take it back.

"Then I think it will be okay." She said after a few moments of deep thought while Hikaru inwardly panicked. "You realize it won't be a fairy tale. You see the obstacles and you see the distance." Hikaru remained quiet, embarrassed and flustered, but also understanding what Monique was talking about. The road to Xavier was never going to be simple and it was never going to be easy. They would get hurt, but he wanted to try. "You'll want to give up, and you might give up. You might deter from the path, so might he, but fate has a way of sending you ever which way before you get where you're supposed to be."

"How'd you know?" Hikaru asked, hoping his feelings weren't obvious.

"I think I knew before it even started to happen, it's how you look at him." Monique sipped her drink again, a content smile on her face. "You out grew your crush on Haruhi when you began to see how well she and Tamaki work." Hikaru's eyes went wide and she winked. "Now now, I won't go telling. It's none of my business what 'dove' does and I do not intend to spread business that is not mine." The smirk on her face was so familiar.

"I can see why you and Xavier dated." Hikaru muttered, rolling his eyes. "What should I do?"

"Unfortunately, I do not know. You two will be separated on opposite ends of the country and I can't predict how his recover will go, or his career, or even your career. Just be there for each other, and if fate wants it, you two will be together."


	43. Now She's Doing It All The Time

**Thank you for the feed back, I really appreciate it! It's hard to figure out what story the readers want because so many animes and mangas are popular right now, and I obviously can't watch or read them all because of school and work, so I have to settle for the ones I'm read/watched and it's good to know whether others would like it or not. **

**If I did Fairy Tail it was (obviously) be a MaleOCxCanonMaleCharacter because why the hell not, it's what I'm good at. IF I CAN COME UP WITH A NAME FOR IT. I'm torn between naming it after two different songs. I'm leaning more towards one but the other song is so beautiful that I have to consider it.**

**Thanks for the reviews! I know, I love Mona too! She's such a better character in this story I love her so much.**

**Are there lots of skips in this? I have no clue honestly just roll with it.**

**Just google translate what his mom says at the end. Literally paste it or whatever into the 'french' box and it'll show up right in the 'english' box.**

* * *

Xavier grunted as he sat up in bed, rubbing his face and trying to wake up. He wasn't feeling it today. With graduation loaming and half of his room still in need of packing, plus exams and Hikaru and the stupid end of the host club party, his mind was jumbled and pounding.

He laid back down and stared up at the ceiling, watching the fan spin around and around. He had no clue what he was going to do about Hikaru. Even if what Mona had said was true, he couldn't ask Hikaru to wait for him. It wouldn't be fair to him to mess out on parts of life because Xavier wasn't ready for a relationship. Still, he couldn't stop digging himself further into this god awful rabbit hole. He turned on his side, looking at the clock, knowing Monique would be knocking on his door soon, telling him to hurry up and get ready for school. He reached for his phone and sent her a quick text message, letting her know he didn't feel good and he wouldn't be going to school today.

He knew he should go and spend the last of his time here with the club and Hikaru, but he didn't feel up to it today. His phone buzz, Monique was worried, was he sick? Or was it just a bad day? He chuckled at the irony that Monique was the one understanding him more than almost anyone else now.

Xavier pulled his blankets over himself, trying to make himself feel better. Hiding away like this wasn't going to help his situation. He needed to talk to Hikaru, or just ignore it completely. Hikaru would be over him soon anyway, right? What was the point in damaging the relationship they had by bringing feelings into it when they weren't needed.

* * *

He was woken by his phone ringing loudly. He blindly reached out from the under the covers, slamming his hand repeatedly on his nightstand, trying to find his phone. Once he had it, he pulled it to his ear, half asleep.

"Eh." He said into the phone, wondering who was calling him, and what time it was.

"Did you not go to school today?" Jackal questioned and Xavier begin to wake up. "You sound dead."

"I am dead, on the inside. No, didn't feel like going." Xavier told his uncle, sitting up in bed, seeing the sun peak through his blinds made him realize it was early afternoon, probably lunch time.

"Wonderful. Have you finished packing your room yet? That's what you've been doing all day, yes?"

"Uh….yes." Xavier mumbled and Jackal being to lecture him, telling him he didn't have much time left. He needed to send out all of his things so they would be here when he arrived in America.

The plan was simple. Graduation, Host Club Party, leaving on a plane around two in the morning for America. Vinny and the others would be flying back with him, along with Jackal and his mom. He would go straight into therapy and hopefully get better in the two months Vinny and the others were finishing school, and hopefully they'd be signed onto a record company. The last part wasn't such a big deal, they were already talking with two companies now, their EP had definitely gotten them some attention in the music business and online with the public.

He cracked his back as Jackal continued to talk, then got out of bed. He shuffled over to the pile of boxes on the floor by his desk and adjusted the phone between his shoulder and ear so his hands were free. He would reply with a few 'yeahs' and 'got it' every so often as he put the boxes together and then began to pack them, getting his CDs and records all squared away. Jackal could talk almost as much as his mother, but it kept him awake and kept him packing up his things, plus it was nice to talk to someone that got him so well, so he allowed it.

"Okay, I'll let you go, your mother is calling me. I'll check in later, finish packing!" With that, his uncle was gone and he was alone again with all his things packed in boxes. He sat on the floor, looking at the taped up boxes and the barren walls, sighing deeply. His phone buzzed in his hand, alerting him to a new text message. He looked down, seeing Hikaru's name and text message on the screen.

"Fuck." He cursed, knowing there was no way to ignore this.

* * *

"I like what you've done to the place." Vinny joked as he set his bag down in Xavier's room, looking at how empty it was. They had just gotten in earlier that Tuesday morning, and Xavier had skipped school again to be with them. "You didn't have to skip out on school though."

"I'm graduating, who cares about it anymore." He shrugged, trying to forgot the way his stomach got into knots when he realized he would be leaving Japan in four days. Hikaru had spent the whole weekend with him and Xavier almost went too far with him, Hikaru didn't even stop him, but he caught himself and pulled back. His phone buzzed, a text from Hikaru, but he ignored it and shoved his phone into his pocket. "Stella wants to go over the set list for the party, says she's got some song ideas. We'll have to wait for Monique to get home from school."

"That's fine, we got time." Vinny sat on the bed, hearing Stella in Monique's room, since she was rooming with her.

"Cool. She's got some really great songs she wrote. There's this one that would go so great to 'Robbers'. Mixing them together would be a piece of art." Xavier felt his phone buzz again but he ignored it, needing to start creating space between him and Hikaru, even if it was late. He wanted to spend all his time with the male, but he needed to prepare himself.

"We should try mashing it up then." Vinny could hear the buzzing and he raised his eyesbrows at Xavier. "Zave, why are you ignoring him?"

"I'm not." Xavier lied, trying to find some place in the room to look, but it was all empty and there was nothing to look at. "I'm trying to create some space, even a little, between us. After I leave I won't be instantly replying to his texts or always answering his calls. I spent the entire weekend with him and it was dreadful afterwards. I ran out of cigarettes and booze. I actually had to deal with my own feelings last night while being slightly sober."

"Get used to it, that's what the therapy and rehab in California is going to be like." Vinny said bluntly, knowing this was all hard for Xavier. "Man, don't ignore him. We'll be here the rest of the week so you won't drink yourself silly or go through a pack of cigarettes in one night. You'll regret not spending time with him after you leave."

"It hurts too much." Xavier sat on the bed next to Vinny. "There's nothing I can do about it anyway. No sense in coming clean, it'll just screw things up."

"You don't know that." Vinny said but Xavier shook his head, not agreeing.

"It doesn't matter, Vinny. I'm leaving in four days and I can't do that to him. I want the lad to be happy, even if I'm not the reason why. If I tell him how I feel, he won't move on. He'll wait and miss out on opportunities and I won't be able to give him what he needs. He's young and naïve and he has the whole world at his finger tips and who am I to try and stop him? I'll be fine, I've been through this before, but he hasn't." He explained, trying to figure it out for himself. "Maybe one day I won't be in such a shitty position and maybe he'll want to be with me but not now. I'm not ready for it and neither is he, okay?"

"Okay." Vinny put his arm around Xavier, pulling him close to comfort him. "You've grown up a lot here, Xavier."

"Lovely to know." He put his head on Vinny's shoulder, sighing.

* * *

"There's my little blue bird!" Jackie exclaimed, hurrying down the school's hallway the next day, her heels clacking against the floor.

"Mum?" Xavier questioned, turning when he heard her voice above the noise in the hallway. "Hey!" He hugged her when she got over to him, ignoring the looks from the other students. He was never embarrassed to hug his mom. "What are you doing here? Graduation isn't until Saturday."

"I know, I know, but this is a great surprise, no?" She asked, hugging him tightly. "I had a few things to take care of so I decided to come early to get them out of the way. Plus I didn't want to get stuck on a plane with your father and Clara. That would happen to me and I do not want to chance it! Where are Vinny, Isaac, and Stella? I visited your house but they weren't there."

"They're waiting for me in the music room we're practicing in." He answered and she lopped her arm through his, smiling at him. "I guess you'll be coming along then."

* * *

"Again?" Xavier questioned when he saw the couches and tables be moved in the room. They had barely been in practice, using the spare class time he had to get things set up and to go over the set list a few times, and now the club as coming in here? He climbed down from the stage, coming over to his mother to complain.

"The more the merrier, no?" His mother questioned, her French accent extremely heavy today. Xavier spat out something in French rapidly, to which his mother replied back just as quickly, the others who knew French had a difficult time keeping up with their conversation, which was why they were speaking so rushed, with their words mixing together in the way only a native speaker would understand. Monique interjected, cutting off Xavier with something that sounded like she was agreeing with his mother. He made a face at her and countered her, shaking his head.

They were still speaking French once things were settled and Hikaru came into the room. He loved it when Xavier spoke French, he did it last time when they were fooling around and it was beautiful and turned him on far too much. Hikaru felt flustered when Xavier looked at him, feeling his heart beat pick up. It felt like forever since he last saw Hikaru when it had maybe been a day. He slowly stopped speaking, locking eyes with Hikaru. His mother was confused, not understanding what caused her son to slowly stop speaking, until she looked at Hikaru, then back to Xavier.

"Oh, mon petit oiseau bleu. Tu es amoureux." Hikaru had no clue what she said, Tamaki seemed a little lost at it as well due to how she said it, quietly and rapidly, meant only for Xavier's ears.

Xavier's eyes snapped to his mother's and he looked like his breathing was getting heavier. He then scanned the others' faces, trying to determine if they understood what she had said or not.

"What did she ask?" Haruhi question and Xavier relaxed, knowing his secret was safe from their ears.

"Nothing."


	44. You Know I Can't Be Found With You

**Oh, my little blue bird, you're in love. **

**I love Xavier's mother she's always been a favorite of mine. I still don't know how I want this to go but I'll figure it out, ha ha ha haaaaaa. **

**Yall I am pretty sure Xavier didn't sing 'Settle Down' and I'll forever be angry at myself for forgetting the song that pretty much fit them the most and the chance to use it has passed and I'm hoping I somehow read over it in earlier chapters when I breezed through to double check songs. **

**I WAS PLANNING TO DO IT DURING THE VALENTINES DAY DANCE THING BUT I DUNNO WHY I DIDN'T.**

**ANYWAY HERE YOU GO **

**I planned to make these chapters longer so there wouldn't be so many but I never seem to make them longer.**

**ALSO thanks for the reviews and favorites and inputs on what my next story should be! I like to write things I know people will enjoy and so it's good to get feedback! You can also shoot me a message on tumblr on anon and if you'd rather stay unknown!**

* * *

Xavier shot a look at his mother, and at Monique, before he went back to the stage, trying not to let what his mother said get to him. He knew he liked Hikaru, but did he love him? He went up the stage's stairs and disappeared in the back, needing to be out of their sight. He could hear the clacking of Monique's heels behind him and he turned just as she approached him, one arm outstretched. She patted his arm with her hand, knowing he might not be all there.

"Is it that obvious?" He questioned in a soft whisper, even though he knew Hikaru and the others couldn't hear from the other side of the room, and he was fine if Stella and the guys overheard it.

"Your mother knows you better than anyone, don't fret over this." She told him, trying to calm him down.

"I'm going to bloody fret over this, this is a big deal!" He exclaimed, then instantly quietened down. "I didn't…I just…Mona." He panicked, feeling unstable. Love was so much stronger than 'like' and the realization that he felt that strongly towards Hikaru was throwing him off.

"Xavier, take a breath." Mona instructed, rubbing his arm. "Let it out, bring it in, hold it, let it out. There, great, just take your time, let it process."

Xavier felt pathetic but he needed a coach through this. "Hey, what's wrong?" Vinny asked, approaching them.

"Just finding out I'm in bloody love, nothing too much more than that mate." Xavier said once his breathing was back to normal. "Fuck I need a fag, or twenty." He needed to be outside to clear his head. "How could I not realize it myself? My mum had to point it out in front of everybody!"

"Wait, I'm sorry, I'm lost?" Vinny questioned, not knowing any French.

"Mum just spot on told me I was in love, right in front of the lads." Xavier grumbled, feeling embarrassed all over again. "Said it in French all quickly and junk but still." Vinny nodded his head, understanding the situation now. "How could I not realize it?"

"Maybe you didn't want to?" Vinny suggested and Monique nodded her head. "Admitting you had feelings for him was hard enough, but admitting to yourself that you love him? That's even harder."

Xavier stood there as he heard the guests come into the room and sighed, rubbing his face. "Okay, okay, okay." He muttered, trying to figuring it all out and settle his nerves. "I love him, no big deal, things are still the same. Plan is still in motion."

Monique and Vinny looked at each other before looking back to Xavier.

"I don't like smoking, but please, go have one. We'll start practice with my songs." She shook her head and Vinny pushed Xavier towards the side exit.

* * *

Xavier returned after twenty minutes in the right state of mind again.

"You okay?" Monique questioned when he came to take the mic from her as Vinny switched up guitars and Stella guzzled down water. Xavier put his hand over the mic, preventing the others from hearing anymore.

"Much better. It'll be okay, not much I can do about these dumb useless feelings now. There's no sense in ignoring him or avoiding him either. It'll just hurt me more in the end if I do." He shrugged, hating that it was that way, but he had been in love before and he knew he could fall out of it. "Hope you don't mind if I snag a song?"

"Oh! I knew you'd do that one before I got a chance to! I even had a head start." She pouted, knowing what song he was going to sing, with puffed out cheeks. Xavier pinched one of her cheeks, smirking as he teased her. He glanced and saw Hikaru watching them with a worried expression, knowing something was wrong with Xavier, so he winked at him, relaxing Hikaru. "I guess it fits you more." She smirked, seeing him wink at Hikaru, and he shot her a flushed face, rolling his eyes.

Xavier helped Mona off the stage and went back to his spot. He said something to the others and they nodded their heads before starting to play.

"_I know, I never make this easy. It's easier to disappear. You said, give me something that I can go on. Together, yeah anywhere but here. Sing it back. Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh. Hey yeah. Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh-oh." _He sang to the upbeat song, making some guests clapped. _"And I'm begging you, bring me back to life! I just can't stand leaving you alone tonight. It's too late to go, already taken me forever just to try to know. One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go. For the life of me, I don't know why it took me so long to see."_

"I like this song." Hikaru commented as Monique sat down for her tea break.

"Oh, I'm sure you do." She said and smiled at Haruhi as she poured her some tea. Hikaru looked back at her, embarrassed and a little puzzled. "It is meant for you, love." She said this quieter with a smirk, only Hikaru's ears heard it.

"_I just stutter, Stutter, Stutter, Di-di-di-di-di-did I? Stutter, Stutter, Stutter, Di-di-di-di-di-di-did I? Stutter, Stutter, Stutter, Di-di-di-di-di-did I? Stutter, Stutter, Stutter, Di-di-di-di-di-di-did I?"_

The guests clapped as Hikaru stared at Monique and back to Xavier.

"Hikaru, are you okay?" One of his guests asked and he almost dropped the plate he was holding, startled out of his thoughts. Kaoru put his arm on Hikaru's elbow and used his free hand to take the plate from his brother.

"Hikaru?" He asked, worried about his brother.

"Sorry, I zoned out there!" He exclaimed, putting on a smile despite how he felt on the inside.

"Can you do more love songs?" Another guest requested and soon other guests were agreeing. Xavier shot them all looks, even though he could handle this, it still sucked.

"Uh, my dears, love songs take so much energy and honestly with our set list, Monique has the claim on them." He mumbled, looking at the paper he got from Isaac with the songs they had decided on. Some on the list he would prefer to do when the guests weren't here since they were original songs, mostly Mona's. "I got a break up sort of song. Mona said I could sing it so how about that?"

"That's the opposite of what they want." Yuukio told him and he shrugged, nodding to the others.

"Life ain't fair my dears, but be nice, this one is an original." He told them and looked back as the song started. It sounded light, if that was possible, but it was mellow and relaxing.

"_Yeah so far, it's alright, alright, baby. Yeah so far, it's alright, alright, baby. Yeah so far, it's alright, alright, baby. Yeah so far, it's alright, alright. Yeah it's the way we are. We were smoking by 11 and knocking round town. Beat em' ups on my arm, we were never good at selling, couldn't cut down. And I stay with my father, while his friends die of heart attacks. He's got a heart made of stone but he never gets cold because the sun's always on his back."_

"Even though it mentions me in a distasteful manner, I do love this song." Monique said and sipped her tea, watching them preform. Hikaru had settled down with the music calming his nerves, putting him at ease. He remembered what Monique had told him before, he just had to hope fate worked out well for him.

"_So here we are, it's quarter to 11. We're knocking round town. Pushing in, in the bar, you can cry until 11, it's a quarter of an hour, and why stay if you hate it so much? You think you're well cool, you just write about sex and killing yourself and how you hardly ever went to school. Don't you wanna take me up in the clouds, pretend that I'm the one and you can show me about. She was talking marriage so he had to get out, now he's making up for it by sleeping about. The ultimatum's a ridiculous joke. I'm gonna pick the option that allows me to smoke, but I'm alright." _He nodded his head as he sang, enjoying the song.

"_Yeah it's alright."_

* * *

This wasn't a_lright. _Hikaru felt a pang in his chest when club let out and it became painfully obviously that he wasn't going to get to speak to Xavier. With Vinny and the others being there, time alone was already cut down, but with his mother in the picture, alone time was down to an all time low.

He wanted to tell Xavier how he felt, but would that be fair? If he did that, it would feel like he was trying to get Xavier to stay which he wasn't. Some of part of him did want Xavier to stay but he knew that leaving was for the best.

"Hikaru!" He heard Jackie call to him and he stopped walking with Haruhi and Kaoru. "Ah, lovely, you three are all together!" She seemed pleased as she caught up to them. "I'm sorry for such a late invitation, but would you all like to join us for dinner tonight? Jackal is coming in soon—his plane will be landing soon—and it'll be nice to have you three there, oh, and your parents." She directed the last part at Hikaru and Kaoru.

"I'd love you, thank you." Haruhi said with a small bow. Jackie beamed and ruffled Haruhi's hair affectionately while the twins both agreed to dinner.

"You are just the cutest thing!" She exclaimed, fawning over Haruhi. "So are you two!" She turned to the twins, her smile not wavering. "Xavier is so lucky to have such great friends like you three." Her eyes lingered on Hikaru and he swore he saw her wink at him. "Anyways, I must be off before my brother's plane lands, I'll see you all tonight at six!" With this she was off again, heels clacking as she rushed down the hallway.

Hikaru's phone buzzed in his pocket so he pulled it out and stared at the screen where the text Xavier had sent him was displayed.

"_See you tonight love."_

* * *

There was a flurry of French upon entering Xavier's place from upstairs. Jackie greeted them, excited to see the twin's parents, as a maid took their coats.

"What are they arguing about?" Haruhi asked Jackie, knowing it was Xavier and Jackal speaking upstairs, she could hear Monique and Isaac as well.

"Picking a record label. It's a huge debate that's been going on since Jackal arrived." Jackie said with a wave of her hand. "Please, you three, go up there and break it up. It's so impolite to argue with guests, no?" She questioned as it got a little louder. "At least Renge is with a friend tonight, or it would be worse…"

Hikaru hurried up the stairs, then looked, sensing the arguing coming from Xavier's room. Jackal opened the door and saw the trio, now that Kaoru and Haruhi caught up with him at the top of the stairs, and smiled at them as he walked towards them.

"Hello you three, glad you were able to join us for dinner."

"Jackie is mad at you." Haruhi told him, amused at how this grown man looked a little afraid of his sister's wrath.

"Thank you, Haruhi, for that warning." He patted her head and hurried down the stairs.

Hikaru quietly snuck over to Xavier's cracked door and peaked in, seeing Xavier standing by his bed, irritated. Stella and Isaac were by the window, she was pointing out something, Vinny was on the floor with his laptop, intently staring at the screen, and Monique was standing next to him, asking him about something another.

"Hik-" Haruhi said but the black haired male shushed her and winked at her. She grew worried and was going to say more but Hikaru busted into the room and charged at Xavier.

"Zavy!" He exclaimed, tackling the male onto the bed. He hugged him tightly, making Xavier grunt, trying to figure out what happened.

"Love, pretty reckless, yeah?" Xavier murmured , wanting to kiss him, but decided not to because the others were standing there, watching them. He hoped the 'love' went unnoticed by Kaoru and Haruhi.

"I haven't talked to you in forever!" Hikaru complained, trying to act playful about it, but he was hurt by their lack of contact.

"I'm sorry." Xavier apologized and ran his hand through Hikaru's hair affectionately, looking at him. "But I am all yours for these last few days."

"Really?!" Hikaru asked excitedly, making Vinny chuckle as he stood up, cracking his back, and putting his laptop on the empty desk.

"Yup. He's all yours. We just need him for practice." Vinny confirmed it and Hikaru jumped up and launched himself at Vinny, hugging him tightly.

"Thank you." He said this quietly so only Vinny could hear it. Vinny hugged him back, engulfing him in a massive bear hug.

"Not a prob, man, he'd rather be with you anyway at this point." Vinny told him and patted his back before letting Hikaru go.

"Where's my hug?" Stella questioned, arms opened for a hug from Hikaru.


	45. I Swear There's A Ghost On This Island

**School has been keeping me busy, babysitting has too. Sorry for taking so long and thanks for the reviews! I didn't mean to take so long with this update. I tried to post this last night but the site was not letting me so here it is, bright and early in the morning.**

**I would love to put more Panic! In here but I'm trying to narrow down the songs since the story is sorta winding down (still have plenty to go tho). I have a few Panic! songs that I would love love love to use tho. **

* * *

Xavier grunted when someone hit his back hard—he assumed it was supposed to be a friendly gesture but it sure as hell didn't feel like it. "Fuck." He cursed, almost dropping his cigarette.

"That anyway to great your best mate?" A male voiced asked and Xavier turned to see William smirking at him. "Why are you up here on the roof smoking anyway?" Xavier pulled William in for a half hug, excited to see him, but needing the cigarette.

"Thanks for comin' mate, I really appreciate it." He told William, blowing smoke the other way. "Renge was a pain in the ass this morning. She's pissed my mates are staying with us and that I'm taking Mona with me to America for school." Renge was displeased by this news, but it was the best for Monique, there was no point in her staying at Ouran. He didn't want to be cutting into practice time with a smoke break, but it was needed. His stress levels were insanely high at this moment, and he couldn't drink himself to forget his problems or sleep them away with some stranger in between the sheets, so here he was. "I gotta get down to practice. I wanna finish early so I can spend some time with Hikaru."

"Ah, your 'love'." William wiggled his eyebrows and Xavier rolled his eyes, taking a quick inhale before tossing it to the ground, stepping on it to put it out. "Mona filled me in on the details, don't worry, I won't hog up your time. I'll be hanging with her and your band mates while you play with Hikaru."

Xavier turned away with a small smile and led William down to the ballroom they were practicing in. It was great he was here, he provided great feedback for them, plus, Xavier had missed him.

* * *

"I'd say we should grab dinner but Xavier's time is limited and we know who he's going to spend it with." Vinny chuckled when they were finished and putting their few things away for tomorrow's practice. Xavier's face went red and he glared at Vinny. "Will, you'll have to visit Cali! The sun will be great for that pale look you got goin' on."

"I definitely need more sun." William agreed, nodding his head with a chuckle. "I'll come once school is completed. Don't feel bad, Zave, go be with your—"

"Don't even finish that." Xavier threatened and playfully shoved William before he hopped off the stage. "I'll be home later!"

"Don't be out tooooo late!" Monique joked, giggling as Xavier flipped her off before leaving the ballroom. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, feeling jittery at the thought of getting to spend the rest of the day with Hikaru. He didn't know what they were going to do, but it didn't matter as long as he got to spend time with him.

He made it to the club doors and peeked his head in. A few guests were left, helping to clean up, mostly Abby and Misaki. Hikaru's head turned at the creak of the door and his face lit up when he saw Xavier.

"Ready?" Xavier asked and Hikaru grabbed his bag off the couch near him and practically ran up to Xavier. He looped his arm through Xavier's, not worrying about the others staring at him. "I'll take that as a yes, then." Xavier chuckled and left the room with Hikaru in tow. "Good last day in the club?"

"It gets sadder every day. I know the whole club, well except Renge, is coming to America with us, but it's depressing to say bye to the guests." Hikaru replied, leaning his head against Xavier's shoulder as they walked. Today and tomorrow were the only days he had with Xavier. "When is the rest of your family coming in?"

"Dad's side is already here, but up further North to visit friends. They'll be here late tomorrow. Don't worry, you've already got dibs on me, and I'd much rather be with you than them in the first place, love." It sent shivers down Hikaru's spine. "Ya shiverin'? Are you cold?" Xavier pulled away from Hikaru and took off his hoodie, handing it to Hikaru to wear. "C'mon, love, put this on and think about what you'd like to do today."

* * *

Hikaru was in Xavier's lap, gaming controller in his hands. He had changed out of his school uniform, but immediately put Xavier's hoodie back on.

"You'll have to give me some of my clothes back, love. I'm quite sure you have three of my jumpers, and two of my hoodies." Xavier reminded him, arms around him, playing the game as well. He rested his chin on Hikaru's shoulder, not too worried about how he was doing in the game. Hikaru was far better than he was, Xavier hardly played video games. Music had always been his hobby and it the only thing he honestly ever did, other than smoke, and drink….and get in bed with people, but those didn't count as hobbies.

"I like your clothes." Hikaru said in a tone that made it known he was not giving Xavier's clothes back. He had to have something to remember him by. Those clothes and the cool cuff he had gotten when Xavier went to Berlin were all he had once Xavier left. His heart dropped and he lost interest in the video game. He let his character die and turned, confusing Xavier who leaned back, taking his chin off Hikaru's shoulder in confusion.

"Love? Eh, what's wrong?" Xavier asked as Hikaru hid his face in Xavier's chest, his hand buried in the fabric of Xavier's shirt, holding onto to him.

Hikaru didn't know how to respond. What was he supposed to tell him? 'I love you, please don't leave'? He wasn't supposed to love Xavier, not in this way, and how could he ask him to stay here? That was selfish of him. He felt Xavier's arms around him pull him closer and Hikaru let out of the sigh he had been holding in. "When do you leave?" He asked quietly, not wanting to look up at Xavier.

"Early Sunday morning. Probably around three." Xavier replied, the carefree atmosphere was now heavy. "Hikaru, you'll be in New York soon and we'll get to see each other. We can call each other and video chat all the time."

"It won't be the same." He didn't want to cry, not now, not with Xavier here with him. He didn't want Xavier to feel guilty for doing what was best for him. "You gotta text me a ton to make up for it, okay?" He tried to brighten up, he couldn't let Xavier see how upset he was.

"I'll text you and call you as much as you want me to." Xavier replied, not knowing what else to tell him. "Then you can come see one of my shows. You gotta scream real loud for me, got it?"

"Yeah yeah." Hikaru muttered, smiling softly at Xavier, hugging him tighter.

* * *

"You got in late last night." Monique commented as she strode by Xavier in the hallway. The students cleared a path for the two, not wanting to get in their way. Her heels clacked against the floor and she looked around the hallway, not one student met her eyes. Xavier yawned, running his fingers through his hair, messing it up as he walked beside her, back straight and chin held up, despite the tiredness that was clear in his eyes.

"I tried to keep quiet, did I wake you?"

"No, Stella and I were planning what we were going to do after school today. We're going to get our nails done!" She exclaimed happily, almost dropping the starbucks she had in one hand.

"I can't believe you went to starbucks at lunch without me." Xavier muttered, shooting her a look.

"I didn't get starbucks at lunch." Monique told him, sipping her hot drink.

"I got it." William said when they arrived at the music room. He had two cups in his hand and he held one out to Xavier. "I couldn't find you so I figured I'd wait until you two arrived. Speaking of which, why must you walk like you two do? You look like you'll kill anyone who will get in your way." He rolled his eyes as Monique tried to hide her smirk behind her drink. Xavier almost spit his out but swallowed it quickly and began to laugh.

"It's a proper walk. I like clearing a path." Monique said and winked at William as she walked past him and into the room. His cheeks flushed and he watched after her. Xavier chuckled and elbowed him.

"Eh, she's a tricky one." He joked, heading into the room after her. William sighed and followed them in. Xavier wasn't surprised at all to see the other club members in here. Clubs had been cancelled today, since graduation was tomorrow and the club members wanted to spend their last day together.

Hikaru was talking to Stella, Xavier wasn't sure about what. Stella was throwing her hands up in the air, dramatically telling a story, while Hikaru nodded his head and listened, laughing a little while Stella made the motion of an explosion. He couldn't hold back his own smile, because he adored Stella and Hikaru to pieces and seeing them get along so well made him happy.

His mother was here too, happily chatting with William—he had always been one of her favorites—and it seemed like it was going to be a great day.

Until his father walked in the room with Clara at his side. Xavier's smile instantly flipped and he felt a nervousness in the pit of his stomach. His father stressed him out just by being near him.

"Fatherrrrrr." He dragged the word, approaching the man with caution. "I thought you were going to visiting with great Auntie more."

"We decided to cut it short to make sure we arrived on time." He replied and Clara smiled at him before she reached out to hug him. He flinched back a little, uncomfortable with her, but let her hug him and made an attempt to return it. Renge bounded over, eager for a hug. Xavier took a step back, awkwardly waiting for his father to continue as the others around them continued with their business. He glanced back to his mother and she smiled at him, trying to ease his nervousness the best she could. "Xavier." His eyes snapped back to his father, looking startled by him.

"Yes?" He questioned, not wanting to make him angry. He knew his father was already angry. His plan to whip him into shape here did nothing, hell, it probably made him worse.

"We need to have a talk later." It was enough to make Hikaru stop pretending to listen to Stella and it was enough to make Stella stop her fake rambling, because both were too focused in on Xavier and his father to even try and have an actual conversation.

"I'm busy after school." Xavier told him, not letting him take his time away from Hikaru. His father narrowed his eyes at him and Clara stepped in to ease the tension.

"Just an hour?" She questioned, not wanting to cause a scene. "Probably not even that, then you can run off with your friends or finish whatever business you have."

"You don't need to be running off with your friends." His father muttered and glared at Hikaru. Xavier stepped in his way, blocking him from scaring Hikaru further. He had tried to be polite for his mother and his nervousness and fear helped with that a little, but now his dad tried to drag Hikaru and that was not going to fly.

"Half an hour, tops, got things to do with the mates." He cut out the proper talk and nodded his head towards his band, who had circled around Hikaru slightly. Monique was holding onto Hikaru's arm, saying something to him, Xavier didn't know what, but he was thankful she was distracting him. "Anyway, got practice, so we'll talk later, right after school, yeah?"

His father looked like he wanted to explode, but Xavier turned and walked towards the others, a hand going out to Hikaru as soon as he got close enough. "Love, hang by your brother and keep away from the old bastard." He murmured softly and gently, trying not to freak Hikaru out. "I have to spend a little time with him after school, I promise it won't take long."

"He freaks me out." Hikaru complained, not looking at the male's father that was glaring daggers at him. He hurried to Kaoru's side and Xavier moved to the stage with the others, not looking forward to the end of practice.

"Keep an eye on the bastard." He grunted to Monique, who nodded her head. "He knows about Hikaru. He knew about it last time."

"Wonder how he figured it out?" She replied quietly, eyeing the older man as he surveyed the room. "Xavier, be careful when you talk to him. Please don't say anything you'll regret."

"That'll be difficult." He muttered, sighing as he adjusted his guitar. "I got first song. Watch out for Hikaru."

"I'll watch your 'love'." She winked and Stella giggled. Xavier blushed and glared while Monique stepped off the stage and went over to the seats. They fumbled a bit on stage before starting with their first song.

"_4am, beside myself and what I think of mental health. All the things that worry me. All the things you don't believe. I've been told just what to do. Where to look, and point my view. All the things that I could be, I think I learned in therapy. Am I just a shadow you drew? It comes back to you, it comes back to you. All the things that you had lost will find their way to you."_

Hikaru honed in on Xavier, the thoughts of his father's harsh glares now faded away as he let Xavier's voice relax him. He only glanced away once, catching Clara's gaze on him. He blushed and looked forward again, hoping she hadn't been looking at him.

"_Mocking birds and diamond rings. Oh I have thought of greater things. All the things that fly by me. All the lives that I could lead. Maybe I was born for that or maybe I was first to last. You could call it cowardess, but leave me to my studied bliss. Am I just a shadow you drew?"_


	46. We're Never Goin' Quit It, No

**Please don't be mad at how long it's taking me to update! I'm super sorry and thank you for reviews, they motivate me so much to get this written! It's taking forever for my laptop to be repaired, and my sister has school work, so me getting her laptop is rare. **

**I'm super sorry! T.T I feel so horrible for taking so long so please forgive meeeeeeee! I planned to post this last weekend, but I went to a concert and was tired after it, but I wanted to make sure post it before my next concert this week, so here it is. **

* * *

Hikaru didn't want to seem like he was waiting for Xavier—but he was. He had moved upstairs to his room after his mother teased him for how he was acting. He groaned and laid on his bed, glaring at the ceiling as if it was at fault for Xavier being delayed. He knew who was at fault for that one, and it wasn't Xavier.

He turned on his side, hugging a pillow tightly against his chest. What was he going to do once Xavier left? Of course he'd go to America to continue school, probably stay there for college too, and be with the host club and possibly make new friends, but what else would he do? How was he going to handle this separation from Xavier? He had been mentally preparing himself since his talk with Monique, but a lifetime of mental preparation couldn't help him tomorrow when he had to say goodbye to Xavier.

None of this was supposed to happen, he wasn't supposed to fall in love with Xavier. He was supposed to fall in love with Haruhi. Xavier had told him at the start to not get any feelings, but Hikaru did it anyway. Still, Xavier had feelings, right? Monique didn't straight out say that, but he had to have feelings for Hikaru. The way he held him and kissed him, there was no way those were meaningless.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he hadn't heard his door open, close, and be locked, and he hadn't heard Xavier softly call his name as he approached the bed.

"Love?" This caught Hikaru's attention and he looked up, seeing Xavier sitting on the edge of his bed looking worse for wear. The smell of smoke was heavy on him but Hikaru didn't let this stop him from launching himself at Xavier. Xavier seemed to be ready for this and caught Hikaru, pulling him into a tight hug. Hikaru wrapped himself around Xavier, needing to comfort him because he knew the male just went through hell and back. "I'm sorry I took so long."

Hikaru didn't know what to say, so he hugged him tighter. He knew how Xavier got when his father was around and Xavier was already stressed enough, the pressure from his dad made everything worse. "I'm sorry." Hikaru said after a few moments of silence.

"Love, what are you sorry about?" Xavier asked and Hikaru felt his fingers run up and down his back, soothing and comforting Hikaru when Hikaru was the one that should have been comforting Xavier.

What was Hikaru sorry for?

Sorry that Xavier was stressed? That his relationship with his father was strained? That he wasn't even twenty and he used alcohol to handle his problems? That he had so many bad habits he could barely keep up with them all? That Hikaru was in love with him despite all of this?

"I'm sorry your dad is so hard on you." Hikaru decided to go with that choice, it did seem the better option out of the ones that were running through his mind.

"Doesn't matter much now. We'll be far away from each other soon and I won't have to worry about pleasing him." Xavier made no move to let Hikaru go, and Hikaru made no move to push away. "I can come over tomorrow night before I leave if you want me to."

"Yes! Please." Hikaru pulled away to look at Xavier's face, worried he might have sounded too eager, but Xavier looked pleased with his response.

"Good." Xavier said, smiling at Hikaru, trying to cheer him up. Leaving was going to be hard, and Vinny was right, he'd regret it if he didn't spend every moment he could with Hikaru now. "C'mon, what do you want to do today?" He questioned and Hikaru kept his hold on Xavier. "Love."

Hikaru pouted, not budging. Xavier felt his heart melt and break at the same time, how could he leave him behind? He kissed Hikaru's neck and blew a raspberry against it, making Hikaru startle and whine, glaring at Xavier.

"Tell me about what happened with your dad." Hikaru decided and Xavier went in to kiss his neck again, to attempt to pull Hikaru's mind from what he just said, but Hikaru shook his head, letting Xavier know that it wasn't going to work this time.

Xavier sighed, irritated that Hikaru had caught on to what he did when he didn't want to talk about something. "He was giving me one last chance to change my mind and do something 'productive' with my life. We argued, I told him I was changing me last name to mom's. It fits me better and this way I won't shame his family name with my career, not like I was ever doing any good to it in the first place. Then Clara invited me to their wedding that's happening over the summer, and I wanted to say no, because it will be extremely awkward, but I knew she wouldn't take no for an answer."

Hikaru stayed quiet, letting Xavier rant about it.

"Then he tells me not to spend any time with you. Why would I listen to that? He has no control over me anymore, I came here, I'm graduating, my end of the deal is done. I can't wait to be far away from him." He huffed, exhausted just thinking about the argument. "I'm just tired of this. I'm tired of feeling like this and I'm tired of the way I behave and the way I handle my problems. I'm almost nineteen, I shouldn't be dealing with this shit anymore."

"You'll be gone soon. He won't bother you anymore." Hikaru said after Xavier finished. "You'll get to do whatever you want and not have to worry about him breathing down your neck." Hikaru wasn't going to tell Xavier how he felt. He wasn't going to let these feelings hold Xavier back from reaching his full potential, it wouldn't right.

Hikaru got everything he wanted, but Xavier was one thing he would not have, at least not now, maybe never.

* * *

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow." Hikaru's mother said as she peaked into his room, blowing him a kiss. "Make sure to be up bright and early so you can get dressed. Jackie and Jackal are going to swing by so we can ride to graduation together. Speaking of which, did Xavier leave without saying goodbye?"

"Yeah, he wanted to say goodbye but you weren't around." Hikaru said from the couch in his room, dressed in his pajamas, which were really just boxers and one of Xavier's shirts he had taken. She shook her head and sighed.

"I guess I'll see him tomorrow. Have a good night, love you!" With that, she shut the door. Hikaru hurriedly went over to it and locked it.

"She's gone." Hikaru spoke quietly and Xavier came tumbling out of his closet, not understanding how Hikaru's large closet could be so crammed. "I'm sure she would be fine with you spending the night, but—"

"She definitely knows I'm here." Xavier muttered as he shut the closet door and got onto the bed, cracking his back. "I'm sure my mother and her have gossiped about us."

"Probably, but oh well." Hikaru hurried over and pounced onto Xavier. "Obviously she doesn't mind."

"Doubt she would." Xavier replied, pulling Hikaru against him and pressing his lips to his neck.

* * *

"Stay the nighttttttt." Hikaru complained as Xavier slipped his shirt back on and searched for his pants. Hikaru was wrapped up in his comforter, watching Xavier search for his clothing. "C'mon, it's 1:02 in the morning."

"Heh, love, spending the night is never my strong suit." He said and then realized how it sounded. "That was horrible, sorry, it's a force of habit to say things of that nature. You know I can't spend the night, the last thing I need is your mother and father finding me in bed with a very naked you."

"I can put on boxers."

"I think you're missing the point, dear." Xavier chuckled, rolling his eyes as he grabbed his skinny jeans. He almost tripped putting them on, a toe getting stuck in one of the rips, making Hikaru laugh. "You're so mean."

"It's funny." Hikaru argued, resting his chin on his knees, wishing Xavier could spend the night with him. He continued to watch as Xavier pulled his jeans fully on and did up his belt, now on the hunt for his socks and shoes, and jacket. "You should've been more careful with where you threw your clothes."

"I was a bit preoccupied." Xavier muttered and found his socks and shoes by the wall. He quickly put them on and found his jacket over the back of the couch, along with his beanie. He put them both on, made sure he had everything, and pulled out his phone, alerting the driver to make sure he was there. "I need to get going."

Hikaru whined, knowing it was useless. He got out of bed, yanking his comforter off of the bed to keep around his shoulders, and walked Xavier over to his balcony. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Of couse ya will." Xavier leaned down and kissed him, before he opened the door to the balcony. "Lock this, yeah?" He reminded Hikaru with a nod. Hikaru shrugged and Xavier scaled down the side of the house with ease, waving to Hikaru before he ran towards the hedges that marked their property line and disappeared through them, going to meet his car awaiting him on the other side. It would look odd if the car sat out in the front of the house, so this was the sneaky option, even if it was more difficult on Xavier's part. Hikaru leaned against the door frame, watching the lights from the car get further away until they disappeared. He sighed and locked the doors, then returned to bed. He fell face down into his pillow and started to cry.

* * *

"Awfully late coming home." Xavier almost had a heart attack when he entered the home. The voice coming out of the darkness startled him and he held back a scream.

"Shit, Stella, you're a terrible mate." He cursed under his breath when he saw her in the doorway to the kitchen, a tray in her hands. It held a bowl of popcorn and two drinks, most likely for her and Monique. Once Xavier and Monique reconciled, the two girls became fast friends. She laughed quietly and he followed her up the stairs. He went towards his room, but she kicked his ankle lightly, nodding towards Monique's room.

"You gotta give us the dirty details." She winked at him and he blushed, but followed her anyway, holding the door open for her, letting them both in and shutting it behind him.

"Finally returned?" Monique asked from her bed, remote in her hands. She patted the bed, smirking at him. Stella got onto the bed and settled in as Xavier kicked off his shoes and jacket, and then he followed suit, getting onto the bed as well, laying against the headboard next to the two girls. "Spill the beans, Zave."

"I'm so in love with him it bloody sucks." He groaned and both girls sighed. "And it's different than Tiffany because he's not a bitch and—"

"—and because he's in love with you too." Monique interrupted him, then stuffed a handful of popcorn in her mouth.

"I want to argue that, but I can't, not after tonight." There was no way he could deny that Hikaru held no feelings for him, not after tonight. "Which makes this suck even more."

"Then tell him how you feel." Stella said, taking the remote from Monique's hand, wanting to pick what they watched.

"I can't do that. It's best to leave him to get over his feelings. If I admit that I return them, he'll try to wait for me, and I can't do that to him. There's no way to know if I will ever be ready. He's young, he's got to keep his options open." Xavier replied, hating that it was true.

"But what if you're missing out on something?" Monique questioned.

"Then I'm missing out. If it's meant to be, fate will do its job. There's too many factors in this problem, and there's no simple solution. He's still a child and I am a massive mess. He needs to grow and I need to change. There's not much more to it."

"Never knew you to count on fate." Monique said, taking a sip of her drink as Stella finally settled on a movie to watch.

"That's all I can do right now."


	47. Say You'll Remember Me

**Someone asked me if I took writing commissions and honestly I am not sure. I think it would be fun and I think I am good at writing, even though I don't post much of what I write since its mostly tid bits of stuff, but commissions seem so daunting like what if I can't impress you enough like how do I even price this. It's definitely something I will look into since someone asked me and I didn't even think you could commission that. I didn't think people would actually interested in that I didn't know it was a thing**

**Sorry for taking so long to update! Oh and yes there will now be a huge influx of Taylor Swift songs. **

**I know I put a lot of song hints in this story, some more obvious than others.**

* * *

Hikaru felt like his day had blurred by. He was now standing in one of the ballrooms at school with his classmates and their families surrounding him, celebrating the newly graduated students and the end of the Host Club.

Xavier and the others were setting up and Hikaru wanted to go talk to them while they did that, but his mother kept grabbing him and Kaoru and bragging about how they were going to America for their last year to the other parents.

"I'm just so proud of you two for making such a decision! You'll learn and grow so much!" She said for the millionth time, hugging them tightly. Hikaru smiled at her, he knew she truly was proud of them, and he adored his mother and loved how she was bragging about them.

Jackie and Jackal were doing the exact same thing, their parents were doing it as well, all four bragging about Xavier and how talented he was. It warmed Hikaru's heart to see Xavier's family so proud of him. He knew if Xavier was there to hear it, he'd get all flustered and embarrassed.

Hikaru got to meet Monique's mother and father, they were both surprisingly nice. He guessed Monique and her parents had had long discussions about her future and what she wanted to do, because he was sure they would be a lot like Renge's parents and Xavier's father, but they were far more opened minded. They were both proud of their daughter and her wise career decision, though they weren't too fond of Xavier, which was understandable, but Hikaru was sure they would really warm up to him soon.

Hikaru was able to slip away from his mother and hurried over to the stage, smiling up at Xavier as he messed with his guitar. "Hey there, man of the hour from how your family is speaking about you." He teased and Xavier rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "You are! You should be proud of yourself for graduating."

"I got bigger things to conquer other than high school, but thank you." Xavier told him, trying to lift his mood up. "I heard your mother also speaking highly of you and Kaoru, shouldn't you basking in that glory?"

"Ah, she's always speaking highly of Kaoru and I, nothing new there." He smirked while Xavier shot him a look, knowing that their mother was not always speaking highly of them, especially when they got in trouble, which was often. "I wanted to come speak with you and the others, is that a problem?"

"Of course not. We love having you around." Vinny interjected, adjusting his own instrument. "But we also know how much you love attention, though I guess I can see why you'd enjoy Xavier's attention a little bit more….." Xavier elbowed him roughly, not liking the teasing tone of voice Vinny had used, or the smirk on the brunette's face. "Ow!"

"That didn't hurt, you bloody liar." Xavier said under his breath and Vinny just grinned, having fun teasing his best friend. "Anyway, we're about to start." He said this towards Hikaru. "So hurry along, love, go join the party, enjoy yourself." Hikaru wanted to protest, he liked just talking to Xavier, but there wasn't much he could do about it.

He went off, letting the distance between him and Xavier get larger with each step, which he supposed was okay. He needed the practice anyway because soon there wouldn't just be inches, or feet, or yards, between himself and Xavier, it would be miles between them.

"Hello there, Hikaru." Monique greeted him with a cup of punch in one hand and a smile on her face. "Isn't this party just lovely?"

"Yeah, it is really nice." He didn't want to be sad, he didn't want to think about Xavier leaving tonight. He needed to enjoy the party and have fun, everything would be fine.

"However, I'm sure the after party will suit your tastes far better." She continued and Hikaru furrowed his brows, not understanding what she meant. There was no after party, at least not one that he was invited to. "I know Xavier says not to, but definitely leave the door to your balcony unlocked tonight, around ten or so." She winked before she was gone, off to chat with someone else, leaving Hikaru with a little smile.

* * *

"One more song before I switch out with the ever so talented Monique." Xavier winked at the girl, who rolled her eyes and finished her drink and went backstage to warm up. He glanced at the others before nodding his head and they begin to play.

"_In the dark there's a light that's calling everyone out. If you could see beyond the walls that you have built. I know it's hard to escape the past and start it again. Those memories of all the future hearts you killed. I don't wanna be the one that's left behind. Don't blame me, don't hate me."_ He sang, shaking his head. _"I don't wanna be the one that's left behind. I won't fade away! Be forgotten or just cast away. This life is mine to live! I won't fade away! I am lost inside this endless haze of life, but this life is mine to live!"_

Hikaru watched Xavier closely, the singer's gaze kept going to his father, who was by the punch bowl with Clara, trying to have a conversation instead of listening to his son. Hikaru knew this wasn't an easy task, the song was loud and so very Xavier. Hikaru really enjoyed it.

"_I don't wanna be the one that's left behind. Don't blame me, don't hate me. I don't wanna be the one that's left behind."_

Hikaru looked at Xavier, surprised to see him looking at Hikaru now, like he was singing it to him now instead. Was Xavier worried that Hikaru would hate him for leaving? That was impossible.

"Alright Mona, all yours." He said as he finished as everyone clapped for him. He said something into her ear before he got off stage. Hikaru wanted to speak to him, but he went towards his mother and grandparents, getting hugs and kisses from them. He blushed, but didn't shy away from the affection, he actually looked to be enjoying it. Hikaru didn't want to interrupt that, because while he knew Xavier's mother side was always more open and accepting of what Xavier wanted to do, he knew they must have had rough patches along the way, and right now Xavier needed this affection and attention from them.

"Enjoying the party?" Haruhi asked, coming up to him and pulling his eyes away from Xavier.

"It's really fun, I'm glad we got to do it." Hikaru's mind was elsewhere, he needed to reign it back in. "Have you decided when you wanted to go to America?"

"You guys don't have to go over at the same time as me." Haruhi grumbled but she knew it was no point. Where ever she went, the Host Club was going to follow. "School starts in August, so probably late July so I can get settled in my dorm room and explore the city a bit."

"Oh goodie, I'll make sure to tell the others." Hikaru beamed, pleased with this. Still, it was almost four months with a horrible distance between himself and Xavier. New York to California was nothing compared to the distance between California and Japan.

"Hikaru, you can go over earlier to visit Xavier if you want. I know you two are close, it'll be hard to be apart for so long." Haruhi didn't know the full extent of their friendship, but she knew they were too close for this gap to be just nothing.

"Its fine, Haruhi, like I could leave you here with boss and the others, that's not fair." He smiled, trying to ease her worries and make himself feel better. "Xavier will be busy and not have much time for me, he's got a lot to do."

"You know he'd make time for you." Haruhi said and Hikaru stared at her, not sure what to say to that. "If you think you'd just get in his way, you wouldn't. I think you're really good for him, Hikaru, he's improved a lot since you two have become friends. It'll be hard for him to be away from you."

Hikaru knew there was truth to what Haruhi was saying, but he knew Xavier needed time to help himself. Hikaru would only get in the way, and he didn't want to do that. "It'll be fine. That's why we have skype and phones." He reassured her, and himself.

* * *

"I'm not as great as a singer as Xavier and this song isn't completely finished, but it's still too good not to play." Vinny said into the mic when Monique stepped off the stage. "It was hard and easy to write this song. The words came so easily, so did the emotions, which made it difficult at times. It's just one of those songs that always cheers me up, but at the same time, really makes me think about things."

Xavier was speaking with his grandparents on his father's side, looking uncomfortable as his father's side talked all around him. He didn't look like he belonged there and he knew it, but he was still talking to them, trying to fit in. Hikaru couldn't help but imagine a younger Xavier, no piercings, no tattoos, sides of his head not shaved, standing in this group, standing out just as much as he did now. A child looking lost and exhausted from trying so hard to be accepted. He still resembled a child now, only with a much sterner expression, like he was trying not to cry.

"_I heard that you've been self-medicating in the quiet of your room, your sweet, suburban tomb. And if you need a friend, I'll help you stitch up your wounds. I heard that you've been having some trouble finding your place in the world. I know how much that hurts, but if you need a friend, then please just say the word..."_ Vinny's voice wasn't like Xavier's, it had a deeper sound to it, but it wasn't bad at all. Xavier's head shot up and he looked to his band. _"You've come this far, you're all cleaned up, you've made a mess again. There's no more trying, time to sort yourself out...Hold on tight, this ride is a wild one. Make no mistake, the day will come when you can't cover up what you've done. Now don't lose your fight, kid. It only takes a little push to pull on through. With so much left to do; you'll be missing out, and we'll be missing you."_ Vinny sang, looking to Xavier. "C'mon!"

Xavier was already in motion, rushing towards the stage. He climbed up and grabbed the guitar that was waiting for him. _"I heard that you've been having some trouble finding your place in the world. I know how much that hurts. And if you need a friend then please just say the word..." _

"That's where he belongs." Monique spoke from beside Hikaru, both watching Xavier. "I was so selfish to try and make him someone he wasn't and ignore his issues. Not saying we weren't both at fault for our mistakes, but I was blind to the issues he was having, that they were so serious. I was like Renge, like the rest of his family, judging him despite him trying so hard to fit in with us, then critiquing him when he finally stopped trying to fit in with us and find others who treated him far better; that understood him."

"You two are okay now, you shouldn't still feel guilty." Hikaru told her, knowing that she did feel bad for her past mistakes. "You're one of those people that understands him."

"I'm trying to be. I'm not nearly as insightful as William is." She said as the male walked by. He heard his name and stopped, coming to join the two. "Hopefully when I get to America I'll be able to understand him more. I guess I should say goodbye now, no?" She questioned, smiling at Hikaru and at William. "I'll be going home to France first thing tomorrow. There's nothing left for me here, I feel as if my friendship with Renge has met its end." She sighed, glancing over to the blonde. "I feel bad for her since Yuukio is leaving as well to continue her career in the States, but Renge is just too influenced by what the others say about Xavier, there is no way we can continue to stay friends."

"_Grit your teeth, pull your hair. Paint the walls black and scream, 'Screw the world 'cause it's my life, I'm gonna take it back!' And never for a second blame yourself." _Xavier sang, looking back at the others.

"They're all wrong." Hikaru mumbled and William patted his back.

"They are. We know what he's like, that's all that matters." William said, nodding at Hikaru and Monique.

* * *

"I just want to say thank you for coming out today on behalf of the Host Club, and also congratulations to those who graduated. I wish you the best of luck in your future adventures. I only have one more song tonight, and I hope you enjoy it. It was a lot of fun to write." Monique said and Hikaru glanced at Xavier, who was now back on stage, playing with the others.

"_He said, 'Let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds.' I thought heaven can't help me now. Nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down. He's so tall and handsome as hell. He's so bad but he does it so well. I can see the end as it begins, my one condition is: Say you'll remember me standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe. Red lips and rosy cheeks. Say you'll see me again. Even if it's just in your wildest dreams, ah-ha, wildest dreams, ah-ha." _Monique sang, her voice soft and smooth, filling the room.

"_I said, 'No one has to know what we do,'. His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room and his voice is a familiar sound, nothing lasts forever but this is getting good now. He's so tall and handsome as hell. He's so bad but he does it so well and when we've had our very last kiss. My last request is:_ _Say you'll remember me standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe. Red lips and rosy cheeks. Say you'll see me again. Even if it's just in your wildest dreams, ah-ha, wildest dreams, ah-ha. "_

Hikaru felt captivated by the song, he almost didn't feel his brother tugging on his arm.

"Hey, Hikaru, c'mon." Kaoru said but Hikaru didn't want to leave yet. "Mom has to get to this meeting, c'mon, they said it was fine if we left early."

"_You see me in hindsight. Tangled up with you all night. Burning it down. Someday when you leave me I bet these memories follow you around."_

Hikaru was trying to figure out this song, this wasn't how Monique felt about her relationship with Xavier and she hadn't really had other relationships after him. Where did she get the inspiration?

"_Say you'll remember me standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe. Red lips and rosy cheeks. Say you'll see me again. Even if it's just in your wildest dreams, ah-ha, in your wildest dreams, ah-ha."_

"Hikaru." Kaoru muttered and Hikaru let his brother drag him off.

"_In your wildest dreams, ah-ha…." _She finished softly as Xavier looked up from his instrument and locked eyes with Hikaru before he was yanked out of the room.

* * *

Hikaru left his balcony door unlocked like Monique had suggested he'd do. He was now waiting for Xavier, hoping he would show up. He knew the male was busy for the rest of the day, with both sides of his family, and his friends.

Hikaru pulled his blanket around him, settling on a tv station to watch. He kept his eyes on it, letting his mind go blank and rest while he mindlessly watched tv. His mind needed a break after all the thinking and stressing it had done earlier.

"Love?" Xavier questioned, slowly opening the balcony door. Hikaru looked up from the tv as Xavier entered the room quietly, softly shutting the door behind him. "Hey."

"Hey." Hikaru mumbled, still wrapped up in his blanket. Xavier kicked off his shoes and took off his jacket before sitting next to him on the bed. "How was everything?"

"Awkward in some parts but pleasant in others." Xavier spoke quietly, both knowing this night wasn't going to end well. Hikaru kept a strong look on his face, trying to hold it all together. "I'm going to miss you."

That was it.

Hikaru started to cry.

"Hikaru, I'm sorry!" Xavier exclaimed and Hikaru tried to wipe off the tears because he couldn't cry in front of Xavier like this, but he couldn't stop it.

"I'm fine!" Hikaru tried to tell him but he wasn't and Xavier was pulling him onto his lap, holding him tightly. "I'm just…I'm really goin' miss you." He cried into his shoulder, gripping tightly at his shirt. "I'm—I'm really happy for you don't let these tears fool you!"

"Awah love." Xavier sighed, wiping the tears away gently with his thumb. "It's okay to cry, I'm going to miss you too, but we're going to see each other again soon." Xavier wanted to cry too, how could he leave Hikaru like this? He couldn't cry though, he had to be strong about this situation.

"I told myself not to cry." Hikaru slowed down the tears, angry at himself for letting them loose. "Xavier…" He trailed off, wanting him to know how he felt, but he was too scared. What if Xavier felt like Hikaru was trying to guilt him into staying? What if he had read all the vibes wrong and Xavier didn't feel the same? "I…" He started again, feeling like he had to say it. Xavier sighed and it was silent a few moments.

"Don't let this hold you back, yeah?" Xavier started after thinking about what to say. "Live your life for you, let things go, learn from your mistakes, build bridges, burn them down, just live how you want to live, got it?"

"Yeah?" Hikaru questioned, confused by this. He didn't understand what Xavier was talking about all of a sudden.

"It'll make sense when you're older." Xavier said, knowing that Hikaru wanted to express his feelings, Xavier wanted too as well, but it would lead to a mess and he couldn't hold Hikaru back. "I'm such a mess, Renge was right about me, but I give decent advice and I hope you take it." Hikaru put his hands on Xavier's face, making Xavier looking at him. He stared into his eyes, seeing a mess of emotions in them. Hikaru pressed a kiss to Xavier's lips, feeling like no words he could say could express how he felt right now. Xavier kissed back, holding Hikaru against him tighter than before.

Hikaru was lost in the touches and movements, all of them were gentle, far different than ones they had shared before. Xavier was slow and soft with every kiss and every touch he placed on Hikaru, giving him plenty of times to stop him, but Hikaru never did.

"Love, you look so good." Xavier murmured against his ear as he worked his fingers in and out of the black haired male. Hikaru let out a small moan, back arching off the bed as Xavier added another finger, stretching him further. It wasn't a new feeling to Hikaru, he had done it to himself multiple times before, but it felt so much better with skilled fingers. He shivered as Xavier pulled out his fingers and he felt a pool of nervousness in his gut at what he knew was going to happen next. Xavier hesitated, looking at Hikaru for a signal to stop or to go.

"Xavier, please." Hikaru wanted this, he wanted his first time to be with someone he loved, and he was never going to love someone like he loved Xavier. Xavier reached over to the nightstand, grabbed the lube and condoms Hikaru had stashed away. Hikaru chuckled when he thought of Xavier's face when Hikaru pulled them out from underneath his bathroom vanity.

"What's so funny?" Xavier questioned before ripping open a condom. Hikaru was about to explain, but his voice left him as Xavier rolled the condom onto Hikaru's erection. Xavier was the one smirking now, amused at the pout Hikaru wore after he was done. "Sorry love, you make such cute expressions." He opened another condom and rolled it on himself, then poured lube into his hand and rubbed himself, making sure he was slick enough. "You ready?" He questioned, waiting for Hikaru to give him the go. Hikaru grunted, impatient, and nodded his head.

"Xavier, if I wanted to stop, I would've a long time ago." Hikaru told him.

"I was being considerate." Xavier didn't want to force Hikaru into anything, he didn't want to ruin anything for him, especially not his first time, but the thought of someone else being Hikaru's first made him angry. He leaned down and kissed Hikaru as he slowly begin to push in, knowing it was going to be uncomfortable with some pain, even with how well prepared he had made sure Hikaru was. "Does it hurt?" Xavier questioned once he was fully in. He made no movements, letting Hikaru get comfortable.

"Feel different." Hikaru said as the small amount of pain he had felt begin to fade.

"Still mad at me for taking so long with preparing you?" Xavier questioned and Hikaru stuck out his tongue at the male, rolling his eyes. He hadn't thought his first time would have him laughing or joking, movies always made it seem so serious, but there were times when Xavier blew raspberries into Hikaru's neck, or times where Hikaru would tickle Xavier's sides. Xavier made him feel so comfortable, even in a serious situation like this.

"You can move." Hikaru decided after a few minutes, feeling comfortable enough to continue. Xavier nodded his head and started to pull out, watching Hikaru's face as he did so, then pushed back in. He felt weird for the first few thrusts, but he begin to feel better as Xavier continued. "Xavier." He moaned and Xavier let out a sigh, relieved that Hikaru was beginning to feel the pleasure. He picked up his pace a little and felt Hikaru wrap his arms around his neck, holding onto him.

"You feeling better, love?" He asked, kissing Hikaru's jawline.

"Yeah." Hikaru replied, closing his eyes and leaning his neck the other way, letting Xavier have more access to his neck. He felt Xavier bite and suck as his neck, surely leaving marks as Hikaru moaned. "Nhn!" He cried out as Xavier begin pumping his hard member, the added pleasure made his toes curl.

"Love." Xavier grunted, feeling Hikaru tighten around him. He heard Hikaru's quiet moans and sighs as he got closer to release. Hikaru's eyes closed but Xavier kept his open, every movement and sound being ingrained in his memory, never to be forgotten. He wanted to tell Hikaru how he felt, but the fear of it holding the male back prevented him from speaking. All he could was show it through actions.

"Xavier—" Hikaru felt himself tip over the edge and he came with a moan. Xavier continued his thrusts as Hikaru tightened around him and he came, pressing a kiss to his shoulder as he did so.

Both stayed in their positions, sweating and panting in the dark room. Xavier pulled out slowly once he caught his breath. He pulled off his and Hikaru's condoms, getting up to throw them away in the bathroom trash can. He returned to the bed where Hikaru was sitting up now, looking at Xavier with his brown eyes. He held out his arms and Xavier complied, letting Hikaru hold onto him, resting his head on Xavier shoulder. Xavier pulled the sheet over them, glancing at the clock on the nightstand as he did so.

"What time is it?" Hikaru questioned, seeing Xavier's eyes pause on the clock.

"1:02." He was going to have to leave soon. The car was going to be in the same place it had been the past few nights, except this time it wasn't going to be just him and the driver, it would be him, Vinny, Stella, and Isaac, and it wouldn't be going back to Renge's house, it would be going to the airport. Jackal was already at the airport with Jackie, as they saw their parents off back to France.

"That song Monique sang…" Hikaru mumbled, tracing Xavier's tattoo with his index finger, lazily flowing the curves of the fire bird inked onto the male's skin in brilliant colors of red. "It was really…" He didn't know how to describe it. It was beautiful, for one, but haunting at the same time. He only heard it once, but the words still echoed in his mind.

"Beautiful, yeah?" Xavier's voice was low, close to a whisper, as if someone might catch them despite the whole house being asleep. Hikaru nodded his head, listening to Xavier breath, his chest moving up and down rhythmically. Hikaru's eyes grew heavy just by watching it.

"Will you sing it?" Hikaru questioned, wanting to hear it with Xavier's voice. He was ready for Xavier to tell him no, tell him he needed to go to sleep, to change the subject, but he didn't.

"_He said, 'let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds.' I thought heaven can't help me now. Nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down." _Xavier sang quietly, indulging Hikaru one last time before he left.

Hikaru began drifting off, the words blurring together as Xavier began to rub his back. He was almost asleep when Xavier finished the song. "Another." Hikaru grumbled, wanting to hear as much of his voice as he could.

"Of course, love." Xavier mumbled, watching him fall asleep against his chest. He wanted to remember this moment, he would most likely never have it again with Hikaru.

"_Whether near or far, I am always yours. Any change in time. We are young again. Lay us down, we're in love. Lay us down, we're in love." _

Hikaru didn't know this song, but it was beautiful and soothing. He closed his eyes, unable to keep them open any longer.

"_In these coming years, many things will change. But the way I feel will remain the same." _Xavier continued the song, even though he knew Hikaru was asleep. He sighed, taking it all in, until his phone buzzed.

"Time for me to go, love." He whispered, more for himself than Hikaru. He carefully slipped out of Hikaru's hold, placing a pillow in his place. He pulled the comforter over Hikaru before beginning his hunt for his clothes. Luckily, this time he had at least managed to toss them all in the same area, and he was dressed in a couple of minutes.

He slipped on his shoes and pulled out his phone, replying to the text message sent a few minutes prior. He walked back over to the sleeping teenager and gave him a soft kiss on the forehead, before he hurried to the balcony doors and slipped out of them. He climbed down the side of the house by using the vines, then ran towards the hedges. He brushed through them and continued to run until he was at the car that was awaiting him.

Vinny was pushing open the door for him when Xavier reached for the handle. He jumped in and slammed the door, the driver taking off the second it was closed.


	48. And I'll Write Your Name

**Thanks for all the reviews, I really do appreciate hearing your feedback and comments! Since this story is approaching it's end, if there's any things you would want me to write for, lemme know. I'm always up for suggestions. **

**I hope y'all don't mind that I'm changing up the ending from the manga. I did it last time and I'm doing it again, so, yeah. I just figured Haruhi would remain in the United States for all her schooling and not head back to Ouran University to study there, especially since she ends up living in the United States at the end. **

**Yeah I know she went to school in Boston but New York City is easier to write on. **

**Sorry it took me so long to update but school**

**Reminder that when Xavier says fags he means cigarettes**

**sorry for any spelling errors but I open at work tomorrow and tomorrow is thanksgiving and I work at a grocery store so I really need to go to bed and not be working on fanfictions**

* * *

"Hikaru, Kaoru, slow down." Haruhi complained, feet aching as she trailed behind the twins. "You two are almost twenty, don't you think you start maturing a bit instead of rushing around everywhere?"

Both stopped and turned in perfect sync, then stuck their tongues out at the girl. "Haruhi, nineteen, almost twenty, isn't old at all!"

"I guess you got me on that one." She sighed, realizing they were correct. "Still, don't run off so far ahead; we don't need to get separated."

All three of them were now sophomores in college and were still in New York City. Haruhi was working towards her law degree, Kaoru for a degree in fashion, and Hikaru for a degree in graphic design.

"You've been so serious with your studies, Haruhi, lighten up. You need a nice break." Kaoru told her, both males waiting for her to catch up with them. Once she reached them, they continued walking, much slower this time, so she could keep up.

"Besides, boss is waiting for you!" Hikaru smirked, seeing the girl roll her eyes, a hint of pink on her cheeks. "You think you'd be more excited to see your boyfriend." He muttered when she made no effort in replying.

"Just because we go to different colleges doesn't mean that I never see him, you know. I see you two all the time even though we go to different colleges." Haruhi replied, not in the mood to be teased about her relationship with Tamaki that begin the summer before her freshmen year of college. "Besides, I know Kaoru was only rushing because Yuukio will be there."

Kaoru looked away, as if the clothes in the windows of the stores they walked by were the most interesting things in the world. He looked far more embarrassed about being teased than Haruhi had, which wasn't that surprising. "We never get to see each other; we're both very busy people." He mumbled.

"We're just playing, Kaoru. I don't blame you for being excited to see her, she's been really busy lately." Hikaru comforted his twin, patting his shoulder. "I would be excited too." He bit his lip after saying this and the conversation ended, the trio now walking in silence.

He had been over the moon to see Xavier after months apart. Texts and phone calls and skype video chats were never enough for him, but they were all Xavier could offer. Hikaru knew the others had prepared him for this and he had tried to prepare himself, but the first few months were insanely difficult. He had almost tackled Xavier when the male had met with them at the airport when they had went to visit him.

The band had taken off once they had gotten signed and put out a hit single. It immediately shot up the charts and Hikaru heard it everywhere, which had bothered him at times when he was missing the male. Their album became one of the top selling ones for that year and any time Xavier had to spend on Hikaru was cut drastically. He was upset about it at first; he felt like Xavier no longer wanted him around, like he had no place for Hikaru in his life anymore.

Kaoru had confronted him about it, sensing something wasn't right. Hikaru confessed everything to his brother, from the start to the end. Kaoru admitted that he knew that they couldn't just be friends, however he didn't realize it was that serious. After listening to Hikaru spew out his problem and why he felt so upset by what was happening, Kaoru was able to help him.

Obviously Xavier wanted Hikaru in his life still, but being best friends was all Xavier could offer Hikaru now. Hikaru knew this, but hearing someone he loved and trusted tell him that made it stick.

The process of moving on was still underway. Hikaru never allowed his feelings for Xavier to prevent him from doing what he wanted to do, and he had gone on dates before, he had even had a girlfriend for a month and a boyfriend for a couple of months, but the feelings for the male were still there.

Since then Hikaru had tried to lay off his clinginess. Xavier needed space to help overcome his problems and Hikaru needed space to learn how to just be friends with Xavier. It was hard at first, everything was, but they had gotten in a somewhat normal routine.

Text messages were constant, about school, about the band, about the weather, about whatever they thought was interesting to talk about. Hikaru would do a majority of texting before classes, giving Xavier almost an essay of texts to read. Xavier did a majority of texting around midnight, giving something for Hikaru to read when he woke up in the morning.

Video chats were usually started by Stella and involved the whole band and the whole host club, and phone calls were generally for serious matters only.

Hikaru checked his phone, seeing no response from Xavier, he slipped it back into his pocket. The male was currently on tour right now, somewhere in Europe. His phone buzzed and he pulled it back out. No text from Xavier, but there was a text from Monique.

Monique was not as quick to reply to text messages as Xavier was and her texts were always neat with punctuation. They were never in tangents, like Xavier's were. She was busy as well with her tour. Once she finished up school, Jackal and Stella's dad made sure she was up on the charts, just like they had done with Xavier and the others. She was busier than Xavier was half the time.

He replied to her text and closed out of the messaging app, glancing at his phone background, which was a picture of him and the other club members, along with Xavier, at Xavier's father's wedding. They had all been invited the winter after they went to America. He had been surprised to see Xavier there, mingling with everyone else. He probably should change his phone background, that picture was old.

He put his phone in his pocket and kept going.

* * *

"I might take summer courses." Kaoru said as they all ate lunch together. "It won't last the entire summer so I'll be able to come home and visit mom and dad, and Ageha."

"Ageha doesn't want to see either of you two." Yuukio mumbled, thinking about how the twin's little sister wasn't impressed by her older brothers, no matter how much they doted on her.

"Let's spend the summer having fun!" Tamaki exclaimed, wanting to go on a vacation with the others.

"Everyone has their own plans, you can't just dominate their free time." Haruhi muttered, but she knew they'd all end up spending the summer together anyway as they always did.

Hikaru's phone vibrated in his pocket, grabbing his attention from the discussion. It was Xavier replying to his mountain of texts he had sent this morning.

"What's Xavier doing this summer?" Kaoru questioned, seeing how happy his brother was as he stared at his phone, reading Xavier's texts.

"Uh, he's on tour still." Hikaru replied, looking up from his phone.

"He's always on tour. It's been a while since we've last saw him." Tamaki complained and Hikaru agreed with him.

"He can't help it that they got popular quickly, Senpai." Haruhi told him, shaking her head. "It's great that they're able to tour like they do. It's exactly what he wanted to do. He should be having a break soon and we'll get to see him. It's the same for Monique."

"She's working on her next album on top of touring." Yuukio told them, missing the pop star.

"Same with Xavier. They aren't slowing down." Hikaru knew it was good that Xavier was busy. It was good for the both of them. "Oh." He paused, reading a text from Xavier that made his smile grow. "They're playing a show in California in July. It's a last minute stop at the end of their tour. He invited us out."

"Let's go!" Tamaki exclaimed loudly, then was shushed by Haruhi as the other people in the restaurant stared at him.

* * *

Hikaru gripped his phone tightly in his hand, feeling like he might crush it at any moment. He had never been to one of Xavier's shows before; school and family and friends kept him too busy to go to one. He had wanted to go to their first tour run, where they were the openers for Imagine Dragons, but his exams fell on the concert day and he had to be practical and he couldn't go to any afterwards because his mom was due any moment and he wanted to be there for the birth of his sister.

He was in the row of seats right behind the pit with the rest of the club, Xavier having told them that the pit was too rough for them and given them seats. Well, Jackal gave them the tickets, they hadn't gotten to see or talk to Xavier or the others yet.

The opening band was good, but Hikaru wanted to see the others and it was taking forever to come on.

"Look how pumped everyone is." Kaoru commented and Hikaru looked around, seeing the excited faces on those to the sides of them and behind them. Some held signs and some already had their phones out, ready to film every moment on the concert. "I can't believe they filled the venue up so well, especially at last minute."

"They're popular and they put on a great show." Yuukio told him, sitting beside him, scrolling through her instagram. "I know they're happy to have a break. They'll rest for a month, knowing Xavier probably less, and jump right into the next album."

"As long as he doesn't burn himself out, I think its fine. They all look out for each other and why stop when they're on a roll?" Haruhi questioned and Yuukio nodded her head, agreeing. Hikaru hoped he could spend time with Xavier while he was on his summer break.

The lights dimmed after she said this and it suddenly got louder as people started to scream and cheer. Hikaru stood immediately, as did everyone else in the seats. He could hear a piano began to play and the crowd began to scream louder at the first sound of the opening song.

The stage was still dark, he could barely make out their forms on the stage.

"_Everybody loves the original, everybody's got time to be cynical. Old enough to know better by now, it's the greatest joke don't go letting me down. Hold my drink, this just got physical. I'm on a new wave, it's getting visceral. Going toe to toe to see how you go. I'm in pain. So, yes, it is painful!" _

Xavier's voice reached out into the crowds and Hikaru didn't know his heart could beat so fast.

"_Oh, heart of mine. Sing a sad song, sing a sad song. Warning you. Oh, heart of mine. Sing a sad song!" _Yuukio clapped beside him but he didn't pull his eyes from the stage as the song hit its chorus and the stage lit up with lights. _"And it's a fresh start fever! Who wouldn't want to be here? Welcome to the future! Dream a little bigger!" _He saw Xavier in the front, a tight hold on the mic and another hold on his guitar.

"Los Angles! How are we doing tonight?!" He asked as the band continued to play. The crowd screamed in response and Hikaru saw him smirk by looking at one of the screens on either side of the stage. "Fuckin' brilliant! Put those vocal chords to use!"

The girl next to Hikaru screamed as the song continued and startled him. How could such a tiny body hold such a strong voice?

"_You're a hard act to follow. So I stare down this empty bottle but there's no message at the bottom. So how do I solve it? I'm a hard act to follow. I know we sink so slo-o-ow. Shallow is as shallow does; keep a track on all those scars. I said you've got a chip on your shoulder. Getting worse now you're older. Getting hard now you're sober. There's your life, it's fucking over!"_

They finished up the song, jumping around stage and going all out for their opening song. They went headfirst into their next song, then another, before stopping to talk to the crowd.

"Hey now, I thought Zave said to put those vocal chords to use?" Vinny questioned into the mic, looking at the crowd. "Just kiddin', ya'll are amazing!"

"Could be louder." Xavier shrugged, tugging off his flannel he had worn as an overshirt. A girl screamed loudly in the pit and he stopped to look at her. "I ain't naked underneath, my dear. Thanks for the compliment though, I appreciate it. Good scream." He said to her and laughed, looking back at the others.

Hikaru smiled to himself, pleased to see the smile on Xavier's face. He deserved to be happy, he deserved to always smile. He had been through so much already.

"This is our last stop on the tour, which means this has got to be best!" Stella said and banged on the drums. "We gotta go out with a bang!"

"Oi, we always go out with a bang." Xavier replied and Vinny started the next song.

* * *

Hikaru shuffled around awkwardly, trying to stay out of the way of the crew. They were supposed to be finding the tour bus, but that was proving rather difficult seeing as there were multiple tour buses for the crew and band.

"This is it." Yuukio said, stopping outside of a black bus with a silver line going along it's side. "They have the silver line, the others have red." She pulled open the door and they all piled in, waiting for the others to get done with packing up their things.

Hikaru had never been in their tour bus before. It was a little cramped, only because everyone was taking forever to pick a seat. He settled on the booth in the kitchen area and Kaoru and Yuukio sat across from him. The others sat on the couch in the small living area, looking around.

"Their bunks and bathroom are down the hall, then I think there's another seating area." Yuukio told them, pointing to the back of the bus. "The previous one had a second floor but Isaac fell down it one night and Vinny came tumbling after him so they decided a single level was best."

"They would." Hikaru rolled his eyes, smiling to himself. He turned his attention to the door, hearing commotion outside of it.

"I can't wait to see my siblings again. They're going to ask what I got them from Europe. I hope they're impressed with candy." Vinny's voice was heard over the others as he opened the door. "Oh good, you guys found the bus!" He exclaimed when he stepped up the stairs and saw the others waiting for them.

"Hey guys!" Stella hurried up the stairs after him, going straight to Haruhi to hug her. "Haruhi it's been so long! You just keep getting cuter!" Isaac stepped on after her, greeting everyone with a nod before he disappeared into the back, needing eye drops for his contacts.

"Where's Xavier?" Hikaru questioned, not wanting to seem like he didn't care about the others, but Xavier was on the forefront of his mind.

"He stopped to chat with Jackal for a bit. He should be coming." Stella told him with a smile. "I know it's late, but we should go get some dinner together! There's a few places around here that are opened late!"

"That'll be great!" Tamaki replied and the two jumped into dinner discussion. Hikaru listened to them as Vinny talked to Yuukio about some country in Europe. Isaac returned shortly, eyes a little red, but looking to be feeling much better now that his eyes were no longer dry.

"Okay!" Stella clapped her hands together, getting everyone's attention. "There's these bar that serves amazing burgers like five minutes from here! Let's go!" She and Tamaki both looked far too excited. "Xavier said he'll meet us there."

Hikaru held back his pout and followed them all over the tour bus. When was he going to see Xavier? He hid his frustration and interacted with everyone normally. He had missed the others and they were always so good to him. Stella dragged them all into the bar when they got there, amazingly finding them a large corner booth for all of them to squeeze into.

Xavier still wasn't there, even after they ordered their drinks.

Hikaru was about to text him, but he phone started to ring with an incoming call from an old classmate of his. "I'll be right back." He told Vinny and slid out of his seat, answering the call as he went outside. His classmate was taking a summer course of a class Hikaru had previously taken and had questions. He didn't mind helping them, but he was in the middle of dinner.

"Uh yeah, if you need anything else, text me. I'm out of town right now." He told them before he hung up. He stared at his food and then slid it into his pocket, deciding not to text Xavier.

"Mate, what are you doing out here?" Hikaru's head shot up when he heard the voice question him.

"Xavier!" He exclaimed, seeing the blond walking down the sidewalk towards him, showered and in a different outfit. He tried, but he couldn't resist the urge to hug him. He leaped towards him and Xavier, knowing Hikaru far too well, opened his arms and accepted the hug. Hikaru took a deep inhale, letting Xavier's scent in. His hands were cold, but the rest of him was warm, like always.

"Missed me, yeah?" Xavier asked and Hikaru nodded his head, keeping a tight hold on him. "I missed you too. Texts aren't as good as talking in person." Hikaru felt Xavier squeeze him before letting him go. "You've gotten taller, right?"

"Pretty sure my growth is done." Hikaru rolled his eyes, irritated that Xavier was still taller than him, but it wasn't that surprising.

"Think I grew an inch or two after I gave up my fags. I'm just messing with you. C'mon, I'm starving." Xavier put his arm around Hikaru's shoulder and led him inside.


	49. Welcome To New York

**Remember long ago when I said this story wasn't going to be nearly as long as the first version of it**

**What happened**

**Anyway sorry for taking so long with updates, things have been sorta kinda rough lately with some health concerns but it'll all be good in the end! Thank you so much for sticking it out with this story! Happy Holidays to you all!**

* * *

Hikaru stared at his professor whose mouth was moving; Hikaru, however, wasn't paying attention. His mind was elsewhere, his focus was weak and he had given up trying to pay attention twenty minutes ago.

He tugged the sleeves of his sweater down to cover his hands, cursing his school for blasting the AC in the midst of winter. It was cold enough outside already, why did they have to make it colder? His phone vibrated and he went to silence it, forgetting he had left vibrate on despite turning the sound off. His professor made no signs of hearing the device, so he relaxed back in his seat and unlocked his phone.

He had a message from Xavier, which perked him up, and another one from Garrett, a male Hikaru had been talking to lately. He was cute with curly auburn hair that he kept in a bun and his major was Sociology. They had met freshman year and recently the relationship had gotten flirtier than Hikaru realized. He wasn't interested in heading straight into a relationship, but he figured he should try since it had been a while since his last decent relationship.

He replied to Garrett, agreeing to meet up for coffee after this draining class was over with, then moved onto Xavier's message.

It was short, but open ended, meaning he wanted the conversation to continue. The male was currently in California working nonstop on the next album with the others. Hikaru had gotten to visit him before classes had started for this semester and his exams were coming up next week. Xavier had encouraged to him to stop by the west coast before heading home for Christmas and Hikaru took him up on it. He didn't dare miss a chance to see Xavier, especially when Xavier had endless free time to spend with him.

The professor finished his lecture and Hikaru slid his laptop into his bag and stood, putting on his coat to protect him from the snow. He panicked for a split second when he couldn't find his beanie, one he had taken from Xavier the last time he had visited him; it was buried at the bottom of his bag safe and sound. It wasn't meant for winter weather, it was more like an accessory Xavier wore to cover his hair when it was unruly, but Hikaru loved it and it kept him warm. He put it on and pulled his bag over his shoulder, leaving the class feeling warmer than before.

* * *

"What are your plans for winter break?" Garrett asked as they sat at a high top table at the Starbucks near campus. Hikaru had been listening to him talk about some family tradition for the past thirty minutes and he felt a bit awkward because he didn't have many family traditions. Christmas was fun but Japan wasn't as extreme about it as other parts of the world were.

"Uh, I might stop in California to see my friend before going home." Hikaru stirred around his hazelnut coffee, not sure what else to add to that. His friends knew of Xavier, but none knew a lot about him. Telling people that your best friend was the lead singer of a popular band sounds cool in theory but then it just gets annoying. Hikaru had dealt with it a little, only when someone recognized Xavier, Stella, Vinny, or Isaac, in some of Hikaru's snapchats or facebook pictures, but other than that, people didn't seem to connect the voice to the face. If he posted pictures with Mona, now, then people would know, but only because her face was popping up a lot.

"Oh, yeah, Xavier, right?" Garrett asked and Hikaru nodded his head. "I bet you're happy to go out and visit him. He should come visit here, I'd like to meet him." Hikaru inwardly sighed at that because ex-whatever he and Xavier were meeting the possible new whatever he and Garrett were could get awkward.

"Maybe, he has a tight schedule." Hikaru didn't want to come off like he was making excuses for Xavier, because he wasn't. Xavier was busy, insanely busy, and working on his own personal problems. He couldn't drop everything to fly out to New York to spend the weekend with Hikaru, no matter how much either of them wanted him to.

"What does he do that keeps him so busy?" Garrett asked and Hikaru shrugged.

"He's taking a full load in college; he wants to graduate early." He couldn't tell Garrett so simply; he didn't want to tell him.

"Seriously ambitious. I definitely want to meet him. He's gotta be something else to be able to keep up with you for these past years. " Garrett smiled and Hikaru felt his leg brush against his own. "Oh, let me tell you this joke I heard in class today." Hikaru smiled back and ignored the vibration of his phone in his pocket.

* * *

Hikaru wasn't one to love flying, it made him sick, but he had slept the whole flight to California, so he was ready to go. The airport was busy, not that surprising due to the season, and he was worried that he wouldn't be able to find Xavier in the crowd.

He caught sight of a blue beanie and made a bee line for it, his gut telling him it was Xavier. The crowd thinned out as he pushed through them, eager to get to Xavier and out of this hellhole. He saw him standing near the elevators, looking out at the crowd, eyes searching for Hikaru. They landed on him when Hikaru broke from the crowd and his heart wanted to burst when he saw how Xavier's face lit up.

"Hikaru!" Xavier exclaimed and Hikaru ran at him, dropping his bags and launching himself at Xavier. Xavier caught him, as he always did, and hugged him back tightly. "I was beginning to think ya got lost, mate. 1:02 on the dot!"

"I saw that ugly beanie of yours." Hikaru replied, chuckling as he pictured Xavier's expression.

"Oi! It matches the one you're wearing; the one you stole from me last time I saw ya." Xavier pulled away to shoot Hikaru a look and got a smirk in return. "You're such a little shit, but I'm glad you decided to stop and visit. C'mon." Xavier let him go and grabbed his bags for him, leading him out of the airport. "You haven't changed a bit."

"Not much to change, I'm already perfect." Hikaru winked at Xavier, who rolled his eyes. "You letting it grow out?" He reached out and brushed his fingers along the sides of Xavier's head. It was usually shaved, there was usually some hair because Xavier hated it too short, but it was longer now, almost as long as the mohawk part of his hair.

"Oh, uh, yeah." Xavier mumbled, heading towards his car. "I keep forgetting to ask Stella to trim it back down a little. I might let it grow out and try something different. Probably an undercut or something while we're on break. It's a mess now, hence the beanie."

"I like it." Hikaru smiled when they got to his car. Xavier busied himself with putting Hikaru's bags in the car, having handed the keys to Hikaru to start it, but Hikaru could still see the faint blush and smile Xavier tried to hide.

* * *

"Welcome to my house I guess." Xavier mumbled as he opened the door for Hikaru. Hikaru stepped in, pulling his bags with him. "I live with Vinny and Jackal, but you knew that already. Neither of them are home, though. Vinny went back home early and Jackal had shit to take care of so he went back to France early." He explained and shut the door behind him. "Kitchen is down the hallway, living room and dining room to the right. Music shit is down in the basement."

"Such a detailed tour." Hikaru teased and Xavier nudged him with his elbow before guiding him upstairs, showing him to his room. He didn't need a tour, he had been here before, but it was good to be refreshed.

"You can sleep in here if ya want, or with me, I don't care." Xavier told him when Hikaru made no comment about the guest room.

"You're offering up your bed, Zavy?" Hikaru questioned.

"My room is all the way down the hallway and I know how you get. You'll get lonely." Xavier told him, knowing Hikaru all too well. He pouted and didn't bother to respond to him, instead he picked up his bags and walked towards Xavier's room. "Knew it."

"I'll be pressing my cold feet on your back all night."

* * *

"So how long have they been gone?" Hikaru questioned, keeping close to Xavier. They had gone out for dinner after Hikaru settled in and showered and were now on the beach near Xavier's place. It was dark out but the moon lit up the waves and sand and it was warm, so much better than New York.

"Vinny left a few days ago and Jackal left a week before that. I could've gone back home with him but I just didn't feel like it. Not like it's close to Christmas yet." He was right, Christmas was still two weeks away. "I'll flying back to France with Isaac in a few days. We'll be back in the states for New Year's though, we have a gig on a New Year 's Eve music program or whatever; forgot the details." He pulled a piece of gum out of his pocket and popped it in his mouth. "I'll probably spend some time with Mona while I'm in France; feels like forever since I've last seen her."

"I get that." Hikaru hadn't seen Monique in a while. They talked frequently, they had become good friends actually.

"We're just so busy, especially her. She got that sugar sweet pop life that she wanted. We might work on some songs together." He said, nodding his head. "I'm sure her fans are sick of me in her songs or music videos, but we're the dream duo."

"No one is sick of you. You two sound so amazing together and you work well off each other." Hikaru rolled his eyes and elbowed Xavier before almost falling into a hole some kids most likely dug earlier that day. He caught himself and kept going while Xavier laughed at him.

"Rosalina quite enjoys her." Xavier continued, now speaking about his younger sister. Rosalina was about the same age as Hikaru's sister but was much more loving. She adored Xavier and he adored her back, spoiling her rotten every second he got. His dad had been cautious at first, but Rosalina didn't have the defiant Labelle blood in her like Xavier did, so he let up, mostly Clara's doing.

Rosalina and Xavier didn't share many features, especially since most of his looks came from his mother's side, however, their scowl was the same as their father's.

"Rosalina quite enjoys her big brother." Hikaru said, glancing to Xavier to see the smile on his face.

"I'm always surprised at how happy she is to see me, or that they actually let me see her." Xavier admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. "I promised that we would spend a whole day together once I arrive in France. She's apparently already telling everyone about how much fun we'll have."

"Of course she's happy to see you, Xavier. You're her big brother, she loves you." Hikaru knew Xavier was terrified that she would hate him and that his father's side would try to pull her away from him, but she wasn't budging. He wished his sister was more like Rosalina, only because it would be nice for his sister to act like she loved him. Xavier tried to hide his smile but it was too big for Hikaru not to notice.

"She asked me for a pony for Christmas. My dad's face when I told her I would try to get her one was priceless." Xavier chuckled, looking ahead. "He should've known I was just playing. I'm glad Clara at least understands my humor." Clara was the one who pushed to have Xavier in Rosalina's life. His dad didn't want him influencing her but Clara disagreed and included Xavier every chance she could. He was Rosalina's older brother, even if they only shared one parent.

There was almost a twenty year age gap between them and while Xavier looked more like her father rather than brother when they were together, after watching them interact it's clear that they're siblings. He constantly spoiled her by letting her do things her parents normally wouldn't let her do, or eat things they normally wouldn't allow; like ice cream for breakfast.

"But you let her have ice cream for breakfast?" Hikaru asked, raising his eyebrows. He had seen that Instagram picture and so had millions of other people.

"I like to make her happy. When she's with me, I want her to know she'll have a good time. I know she's young so it doesn't matter now, but when she's older it'll be important that she has some freedom when hanging out with me. It's good you let children make decisions for themselves, even if they're small choices like what outfit to wear or what to have for breakfast. I don't ever want her to detest spending time with me." He explained, looking over at Hikaru as he said this. "Jackal did that with me. He let me have options." He looked forward again, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"I don't ever want her to feel like she has to put up a front around me, or that she can't come to me with her problems. I know there's a large age gap between us, but I'm still her brother, and I want to help her with any problems she had. My mom and uncle were good, but sometimes I wonder if having an older sibling would have changed me. Maybe I wouldn't be struggling with all these issues that I am now. Not to say that I haven't gotten better." He looked at Hikaru with worried eyes. "Because I have, I've been trying really hard. But, sometimes this stuff never leaves you. You can learn to manage it, but it still stains you."

Hikaru remained quiet, letting Xavier talk.

"I can drink for fun now and I don't use alcohol, or sex, to cope with my problems. I've given up cigarettes, though I still have to chew this stupid gum." He muttered, hating how hard the habit was to quit. "I'm still not very good at communicating how I feel, but the others know by how I act, so I guess that's okay. It's just a little disappointing to know that I might never be completely freed from depression. I don't want what happened to me to happen to Rosalina. I know my dad and Clara won't get a divorce or anything like that, but other things could happen."

"You're an amazing big brother, Xavier." Hikaru rubbed his arm in a comforting motion. "And you're doing great. The last three years have done wonders for you."

"Yeah yeah, could say the same for you." Xavier brushed off the compliment with reddened cheeks. "You're a junior now in college and you sound so mature."

"I'm still the same as I was!" Hikaru exclaimed, not liking how it sounded like he was a boring adult. "Trying to make me sound like a stuffy old adult, I'm insulted."

"Mate I was only playing." Xavier put his arm around Hikaru's shoulders and pulled him against him, laughing at the pout on Hikaru's face. He directed them towards the board walk, getting them off the beach and towards his place. "You should be seriously proud of yourself though. You're almost done with school."

"I'll have to get a job soon." Hikaru said, the task seeming a tiny bit daunting, but he would excel at anything he did. "I'll probably get an internship or something, I'm trying not to think too much about it. Jobs can be hard to get for someone majoring in graphic design."

"You'll do it easily, you always do." Xavier told him, pulling his arm off of Hikaru's shoulders. Hikaru was pleased with the confidence Xavier had in him; it settled his nerves. Hikaru continued to talk about school throughout the walk by home, trying to avoid any mention of Garrett. He knew he didn't have to tip toe around Xavier about it, but he felt awkward about it. Monique had said that fate had a way of working, but Xavier told him not to let those sorts of things hold him back. What was he supposed to do about this mismatched advice?

"Can we watch White Christmas?"

"Of course, mate. Anythin' ya want."


	50. Are We Out Of The Woods Yet?

**I love the nickname sparky. No worries, Xavier definitely will not have a man bun! And thank you very much for the kind words, I appreciate them a lot!**

Hikaru stuffed his hands in his pockets, happy his class was released early. He needed to get back to his apartment and make some coffee to warm himself up. Garrett was busy with a project, meaning he wouldn't have his normal coffee date with him this afternoon. Hikaru squinted, wondering if they counted as dates. Garrett had asked him out once he returned to America from winter break and they had been on a few dates, so meeting up for coffee could be considered a small date.

He was about to cross the road when something—more like someone—latched onto his arm. "What the—?" He questioned and looked to see a girl with sunglasses and brown wavy hair smiling up at him.

"Sssshhhh, you know how hard it is for me to walk around New York without being followed?" The girl whispered and Hikaru realized who it was.

"Mona!" He looked around and frowned at her. "I don't mean to get all Haruhi on you, but shouldn't you be guarded or something?"

"Haha, yeah right. I'm just a pop star, not the president," she waved her gloved hand, still smiling at Hikaru. "Besides, I wanted to see you. I was on my way to your school when I caught you walking by, don't you love how fate works out?"

"I don't think this counts as fate," Hikaru grumbled. "Come on, we can go back to my place." She kept her arm around his and let him lead the way, happily chatting about her next album that was about to be released.

"There's so much pressure to make this one better than the last." She told him, a little worried. "I don't want to fade out after just one album. Xavier told me not to stress over it, but the pop and rock worlds are a little different. I got to get those radio plays or I'm considered washed up."

"Monique, if it's as good as Xavier tells me it is, then you won't have any problems." He told her, used to this talk. When two of your best friends were musicians, you got used to settling their nerves. "Where's that confidence at?"

"It's here! It's just a little blocked with stress." She admitted, letting him unlock the door to his apartment. "You and Kaoru decorated so nicely! I should let you two take a swing at my apartment here." She said once she entered. It was a typical loft style flat, the rooms were more closed off for privacy purposes. She took off her coat and hat and hung them up, looking around. "I heard you spent some time in California with Xavier during your winter break."

"Yeah, I had a lot of fun. Xavier says he wants to come visit me soon and meet all my friends. I guess he's getting more time to relax." Hikaru replied, going into the kitchen to start some coffee. Monique followed and sat at the counter, watching him.

"He's adjusting very well to this lifestyle. His doctor said he's doing extremely well." Monique told Hikaru, smiling at how happy this made Hikaru. "I'm sure he's embarrassed by it, you know how he is. I keep telling him that maybe it's time he gets out a little more, you know? He can handle himself at bars and at parties with not much trouble."

"He gets out plenty, Mona. You just want him to get a boyfriend or a girlfriend." Hikaru told her, eying her. She pouted and crossed her legs, knowing she had been caught. "He's fine without one, you know that. He's way too busy for one."

"He's working on that. He's balancing his music and social life and family really well, I think Rosalina has helped a lot with that. Of course he's not going to be available all the time, nor will I, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't pursue romantic interests. Having a boyfriend is not a must have for me, but sometimes I wouldn't mind one. I can't keep taking Xavier as my date to these award shows. We always get pulled in two different directions and then I look like I came alone." She shifted a little on the stool and Hikaru swore he saw a mischievous gleam in her eyes but he ignored it and hoped he was just seeing things.

"Then take Yuukio or someone like that." Hikaru told her, pouring them both cups of coffee. He knew how Monique liked her's, sweet and creamy, and sat it down in front of her.

"I do, but going with Xavier always works better for promotional business. We work best with each other. Thank you." She sipped her coffee and Hikaru leaned against the other side of the counter, letting her talk. "Anyway, enough about me! What's going on with you?"

Hikaru froze a moment, wondering if he should tell her about Garett. She had been supported with his last few relationships, Xavier had been too. Why was he so worried to tell them about this guy?

"Uh, well there's a guy…"

"I want to meet him!"

Oh yeah, that's why.

"What's his name? How old is he? How do you know him? Do I know him?" Monique asked and Hikaru should have known this would happen.

"No, I highly doubt you know him. His name is Garrett, I met him freshman year. I wasn't really expecting our relationship to venture into what it is but…he's cute." Hikaru smiled and Monique sipped her coffee, nodding her head. Hikaru continued to talk about him and Monique continued to nod her head and listen.

"I'm glad you found someone, Hikaru." She set her cup down and continued to smile at him.

Hikaru felt at ease when she smiled at him. There were a lot of things that Hikaru couldn't talk about to Kaoru about; mainly the topic of Xavier. He obviously couldn't talk about Xavier to Xavier himself, but he could talk to Mona. She was busy but she made time for him if he needed to talk and he had needed to talk, so much, his first year in America when he was still raw from his goodbye with Xavier. She knew Xavier as well as Hikaru did and helped him get through a lot of rough patches.

Of course, in exchange for that Monique ended up writing songs about his heartbreak or their relationship in general. He had finally figured out of inspiration of 'Wildest Dreams'; he and Xavier. He wondered if she was going to write a song about moving on based on this.

"I want to meet him." She said and he sighed, rolling his eyes. He knew she would respond like this, but it seemed a little forced this time around. "I know Xavier will probably meet him before I do, but I would like to meet him sometime in the near future." She continued and Hikaru realized he might have made a mistake.

"Oh, uhm, about that…I haven't told Xavier about him." Hikaru admitted, knowing that if he wasn't honest it would come back to bite him. Xavier would be hurt that Hikaru didn't tell him. Yuukio had told Xavier about Hikaru's previous girlfriend, and Haruhi had told him about Hikaru's previous boyfriend, before Hikaru even had a chance to tell Xavier. "It just never came up when I was visiting him and I wasn't sure where Garrett and I were going relationship wise."

"Better not forget to tell him! It'll hurt his feelings if you try and hide it from him, especially if he sees it on your snapchat." Monique said after a long pause, her tone joking, but this too felt a little forced. "Are you scared that he'll be upset?"

"No, not at all." He knew Xavier was probably long over him, Hikaru should be over him too. "It just feels awkward to talk about it with him?"

"Don't let it feel awkward, okay? Xavier is happy to listen to anything you have to say, he's your best friend." Monique said, reaching out and patting his hand, filling him with reassurance. "Good, so, how serious is it with this guy?"

"We've only been dating for maybe a month, so it's not super serious or anything." Hikaru leaned over the counter, shrugging. "I like him." He did like Garrett, a lot. Maybe he liked Garrett enough to get over Xavier.

"That's great! I'm sure he has something cute planned for Valentines Day! Oh shoot, I've gotta go!" Monique said, noticing the time on the oven's clock. She hurriedly stood and Hikaru followed her as she went to grab her coat and other winter items. "I've got to meet with Jackal about the next tour. I'll make sure to get tickets for all of you, I miss you all terribly." She said as she put her hat on. "I'll talk to you soon, alright?" She hugged him and kissed both of his cheeks. "Aimez-vous, au revoir!" She said in a flurry and was out the door.

"Yeah yeah, whatever you said!" Hikaru called after her, still not being able to speak French. He smiled and shook his head, then shut the door. His phone rang on the counter and he went to answer it, still smiling. "Hey, Garrett. No, I'm not busy. I just got done having coffee with a friend."

* * *

Xavier stared at his phone screen, grip tight on the device. He heard footsteps and peaked over the back of the sofa, seeing Vinny coming down the stairs.

"What are you up to?" Vinny asked, noticing his best friend's gaze. Xavier turned away quickly, clicking out of his Snaptchat app and turning his phone screen off and biting his lip as Vinny approached the sofa. "Zave."

"Nothing, tweeting and stuff with fans." He said, eyes shifting around the room, even with Vinny leaning over the back of the couch.

"They excited about the new album?" Vinny asked, knowing Xavier was lying, but he was going to let it slide for now. "I hope they like that it's a little more poppy this go around."

"They'll get over it, we can't produce an album that's the same as the first. They know it'll be a little different." Xavier replied, looking to Vinny. "You got any plans for today?"

"I was going to go get some sushi in one of those heart shaped containers with my best friend since we're single as all get out and every restaurant within a thirty mile radius is booked up and I don't feel like cooking." Vinny said with a smile and Xavier swung his legs off the couch and stood, grabbing his keys out of the bowl on the coffee table. "Woah now, did I say you were the best friend?"

"Don't be a dick, like you have any other friends!" Xavier teased and headed for the front door, swinging the keys around his index finger. "And you and I both know Isaac and Stella aren't big on sushi."

"You got me." Vinny chuckled and followed Xavier. They put on their jackets since it was a little chilly outside, the perks of living in California, and headed out. "We should do some 'Win a date with us' thing for next Valentine's Day so we don't seem completely hopeless."

"We're not hopeless we just choose to be single." Xavier said as he unlocked the car's doors for him and Vinny to get into. "Okay yeah we're hopeless but we're busy too."

"Then how did Stella and Isaac find dates?" Vinny questioned as Xavier started up the car.

"We're completely hopeless I get it." Xavier admitted and backed out of the driveway and headed to the store. "But it's no big deal! We got tons of people screaming our names on stage and it's not like we have to have dates."

"It isn't a big deal; I was teasing you. We're young and I don't have time for a relationship." Vinny gave his reasons and Xavier nodded his head in agreement. "Ya know, it's okay, Xavier…" He started, treading carefully.

"Hm?" Xavier questioned and turned to look at Vinny with a puzzled expression when they stopped at a redlight. "What's okay?"

"Just-nevermind." He shook his head before he turned up the volume of the radio. Maybe this wasn't the best time for this conversation.


	51. Just Grab My Hand And Don't Ever Drop It

**You guys know me too well **

**I'm sorry about late updating, my cat recently passed away, and it's a really big deal for me since I had her for almost 19 years.**

**Anyway I hope you guys are enjoying this story as we begin to reach the final stages of it. I never meant to take so long to finish it, but I want these chapters to be really good.**

**Also yes, the chapter titles used to be 1975 lyrics, but they're now Taylor Swift lyrics. It's sorta suppose to represent a change, because Taylor lyrics are far different than the 1975's and I feel like they fit this part of the story very well. They're a bit more uplifting and they just fit. Sorry it doesn't make a lot of sense oops**

**Thanks for sticking it out so long, really appreciate it! **

* * *

Xavier sighed, head spinning from the busy schedule Jackal just emailed him. There was a lot to do with their new album coming out, he was confident they could handle it; he just wanted a little more free time to see his friends. Hopefully on a trip to New York he could stop in to have lunch with everyone. He missed them a lot—especially Hikaru. However, this was the life he wanted and he loved doing it. He was just stressing himself out and he knew it was going to be fine in the end.

"You okay?" Vinny asked, seeing Xavier's face twisted up. He had been keeping a close eye on Xavier since Valentines Day; something was up with him. "What's been bothering you?"

"Nothing?" Xavier played it off, knowing he'd have to tell Vinny eventually, but not right now. He shot Vinny a look and it shut his friend up on the matter; for now, anyway. "We've got business to take care of!"

"Gotta make the fans proud! They're the most important thing!" Stella cheered and they all nodded their hands, getting geared up for the adventure ahead of them.

"The most important thing…" Xavier repeated, less excited than Stella had been. "Hey, after we take care of some business, how about we hit up that new bar that opened down on broadstreet?"

* * *

Xavier stretched out and yawned, almost hitting Vinny in the face. Stella and Isaac were both passed out in their seats on the plane, Jackal and Stella's father had shut the door so they could discuss business without the twenty-somethings bothering them. They had a full line up of radio and morning show interviews, performing their new single and promoting their upcoming album.

"Xavier." Vinny said in a serious tone and Xavier looked at him, thinking the male was just playing, but Vinny had a serious expression that matched his tone on his face.

"I didn't mean to almost hit you—"

"What's wrong?" Vinny interrupted him. "It's been almost a month of you acting strange. You've written like five songs about love and heartbreak and partying? Don't tell me a movie inspired them either."

Xavier was trapped. He couldn't dodge the question or brush it off like he had been doing, nor was that healthy to do. He grabbed his glass and took a quick gulp, letting the bit of alcohol that was mixed in with the sofa burn his throat. He felt like he was reverting back to his own ways, but a little touch of alcohol made it easier to be honest now.

"Hikaru has a boyfriend." He admitted, keeping his grasp on his glass. "That's why I've been writing songs like that, and wanting to go out to eat or parties, and why I've been so focused on this album and promos and fucking everything but the fact that Hikaru has a boyfriend and didn't fucking tell me. Again." He growled out the last part, angry at his best friend for not being honest. "He posted something about it on snapchat on Valentine's Day."

"Xavier, I'm sorry." Vinny said and reached out for Xavier, patting his arm. "That blows…wait, he didn't tell you?"

"No! Why would he!?" Xavier realized his volume and lowered his voice, taking a deep breath. "Is he scared I'll be upset? I was fine with the first two, and I told him to move on. There's no sense for him to wait around for me…no matter how much I sort of want him to." Some part of him knew it was hopeless to think that way. He made that choice all those years ago and he was the one that let Hikaru slip through his fingers. It was the right choice. That was what he kept telling himself when he fell asleep alone at night.

"No wonder you've been wanting to go out more…"

"And I know, partying isn't a solution but I didn't want to sit around. I wanted to go out and have fun and interact with fans." He defended himself, trying to make sure Vinny didn't think he was slipping; again. The last thing he needed right now was another relapse. "I don't want to mope about him. I'm almost twenty three for fuck's sake, and I'm upset about this?"

"I would be upset too, honestly. I don't know why Hikaru hasn't told you, but I'm sure he means no harm in it. Maybe he just feels awkward about it?" Vinny offered some reasons, knowing they would barely satisfy Xavier. Hikaru would always be a touchy subject for Xavier.

"I just need to forget about it. It's not like I have a right to know his personal business." Xavier looked out the window, seeing nothing but black.

He was hurt more by the fact that Hikaru hadn't told him, rather than Hikaru having a boyfriend. He had gone through this before, that's when the relapse happened, with the snide remark from Yuukio about Hikaru's new girlfriend. He had been completely caught off guard by it and it showed; horribly.

Xavier looked at the phone in his lap, unlocking it and mindless scrolling through his different social media accounts. He wanted to text Hikaru, ask him about the guy, but he didn't want to make Hikaru upset. Still, he needed to know about this guy, he needed to know why Hikaru kept him in the dark. He sighed and opened up the messaging app, going to his conversation with Hikaru.

"_So who is the new boyfriend?"_

* * *

Hikaru felt Garrett's foot against his leg and he rolled over, not wanting to go to school. Yuukio was in town and staying at his and Kaoru's apartment. He decided to be a good brother and spend the night at Garrett's, giving them a night alone. However, Garrett wasn't the greatest sleeping partner. He rolled around a lot and Hikaru felt more tired than when he had gone to bed.

He reached out and unplugged his phone, turning down the brightness before it blinded him. He froze when he saw the text from Xavier on his screen.

"_So who is the new boyfriend?" _

How did Xavier find out? He had made sure to tell everyone that he was going to tell Xavier this time! He panicked and sent out texts questioning everyone. He left Xavier's text unanswered as he got out of bed and went through his morning routine. Garrett had no classes today and Hikaru wasn't going to wake him up on his day off, so he slipped out of the room with his bag. Garrett's twin sister, Maggie, was eating her breakfast on the couch, watching some morning show.

"Look, look!" She squealed, pointing her spoon at the screen. Hikaru walked over and looked at the screen, paling a bit.

"_This morning's musical guest is Lost In Translation! Their second album is set to release April fifth." _

He saw Xavier, Vinny, Stella, and Isaac sitting across from the morning show host, all smiling and friendly as they talked about their music. Of course, Xavier had told him they were doing major promoting for this album. Plus, Maggie was obsessed with them. He wanted to tell her that he knew them, but he held back. He watched their segment, guilt pooling his gut the entire time.

"I've…I've gotta go, to class." He mumbled, pulling his bag onto his shoulder more. She nodded to him and went back to her breakfast and the tv as he left their apartment.

He jogged down the stairs as his phone buzzed, alerting him to a text. Most of the club had replied during the segment on tv and he ignored it, too busy watching Xavier. Now he looked through them, seeing how everyone had replied and none of them had told Xavier. He felt jittery and he couldn't go to class, not with this weighing down on him. He knew Xavier was well on his way to the next gig, sitting in a car, waiting for Hikaru to reply to him, but Hikaru couldn't muster the courage.

"_Hikaru, have you not told him?" _That text was from Monique and it was clear she hadn't told Xavier either. He was about to text back when he had an incoming call from her. He looked both ways as he crossed the street and answered her call. "How could you, Hikaru? You hurt him for the third time!"

"I doubt he's that hurt over it." Hikaru knew he was wrong as the words came out of his mouth.

"You know Xavier too well to believe that lie." Monique said, a serious tone in her voice. He bit his lip, deciding to just head back to he and Kaoru's apartment.

"What do I tell him?" He asked her, needing advice desperately. She and Kaoru were the only ones that knew the full extent of he and Xavier's relationship, and he knew what Kaoru's advice would be.

"You apologize, immediately, for starters." She muttered, probably busy with something far more important than this. Hikaru really owed her. "Honestly, after that, I'm not sure what to do, because I'm not sure why you didn't tell him. Be honest with him, Hikaru. You owe him that much. Now, I've got to go, let me know how it goes." They said their goodbyes and ended the call as Hikaru reached the apartment.

He went through the lobby and up the elevator, feeling weighed down by nervousness. He got out on his floor and unlocked the door. No one seemed to be around, they probably went out for breakfast, so he dumped his bag on the floor and sat on the couch, trying to build up the courage.

Things were always more complicated when Xavier was involved. Still, he pulled out his phone and opened the dreaded message.

"_His name is Garrett, we had a few classes together. I'm really sorry, Zave. I was going to tell you but it always felt too awkward and I'm sorry." _

He sent the message and immediately clicked the screen off, setting the phone by him on the couch cushion. He leaned his head back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. Why was it so hard for him to come clean to Xavier about things like this? They talked about everything else, but never relationships. He knew Xavier wouldn't be angry that Hikaru found someone, he told him to do just that, years ago. He knew Xavier would be fine with it—maybe that's what bothered Hikaru?

His phone buzzed and he almost jumped off the couch, so into his thoughts that the sudden vibration startled him.

"_I don't want this to be an awkward thing between us, ya know that I want you happy. Kinda fuckin' blows, ya know? Finding out ya best mate is with someone through snapchat while everyone else knows." _

Hikaru groaned, hating himself so much right now. Of course! He couldn't believe he hadn't realized that Xavier found out through snapchat. He wasn't constant on the other apps as he was snapchat, since it was so easy to update and the fans really enjoyed it.

"_Trust me, I don't want this to be awkward either and I didn't want you finding out through snapchat of all things. I even told everyone not to tell you so I could finally do it myself! Fucked myself over on that one tho."_

"_Yeah, just a tad. I get to meet the bloke, yeah?"_

Hikaru didn't want them meeting, not yet, but he couldn't say no to Xavier. He got off easy on this one, Xavier could've been way harsher on him than he was and Hikaru deserved it.

"_Of course, just tell me when you can."_

Hikaru wanted to see Xavier, he always wanted to see him, but he cringed at the thought of the awkwardness that would come along with this visit. Garrett knew next to nothing about Xavier, especially not that he was the lead singer of the band his sister was obsessed with that Garrett hated, or that Hikaru and Xavier used to be a thing.

A very important thing.

A thing that Hikaru might not be over just yet.

* * *

Xavier leaned back in his seat, feeling a little better now that he and Hikaru had spoken.

"He replied?" Vinny asked, noticing the change in Xavier.

They were in the back of a large SUV, heading to a radio station to be interviewed. Stella and Isaac were sitting in front of them, Isaac holding a small mirror as Stella stuck a bobby pin into her hair, pulling back her bangs.

"Yeah, said he was sorry, he felt awkward about it." Xavier replied, turning to look at Vinny with an unamused expression. "He feels awkward about it, I feel awkward about it. Then I went and asked if I could meet the bloke. Great idea, yeah? Let me just go make time in my busy schedule and meet this guy and see how in love Hikaru is with him."

"Xavier." Vinny muttered, hating how horrible Xavier made it sound. He could already tell it wasn't a great day for Xavier, but there wasn't much they could do.

Xavier sighed, realizing how bitter he had sounded. Bad days came and went, they couldn't put business off for them. Xavier knew this and plowed through them because he had to. It was his job, it was part of the package. He couldn't let them hold him back, he had done that enough and he was tired of it. "I know. I know." He told Vinny, nodding his head. "It will be fine. I'm sure the bloke's real good to him, or I'll knock him out."

"I think we'd all take turns beating him up if he didn't treat Hikaru well." Vinny replied, a little amused by that. Stella adored Hikaru and was secretly waiting for the day he and Xavier would finally get back together. Isaac enjoyed how Hikaru always threw Xavier off balance and kept him on his toes. Vinny knew how much Hikaru cared for Xavier, and that made him good in his books.

"What? Hikaru has a boyfriend?" Stella asked, trying to hide her disappointment with a wide eyes and a curious expression.

"Uh, yeah, bloke's name is Garrett. We're goin' beat him up if he doesn't treat Hikaru right." Xavier joked to Stella and Isaac, letting them know he was okay. He didn't need them pitying him now.

Now they needed to ace this interview and blow the acoustic set they were going to do out of the water. Afterwards he would try to figure out when he could visit.


	52. Could End In Burning Flames Or Paradise

**I am super sorry that its taking me such a long time to update this, but we're getting towards the end of the story and I just wanna make sure I do it right since the original one's ending was so rushing and lame.**

**I really appreciate all the reviews and messages! Thank you! **

* * *

Hikaru enjoyed Maggie, Garrett's twin sister, a lot. She and Garrett shared the same eyes, but other than that she looked nothing like him with her short pixie cut purple hair, bright pink lips, and gap between her two front teeth. Her personality was almost a complete one-eighty from her brother as well, which wasn't that surprising to Hikaru since the two didn't share the same interests.

She actually reminded Hikaru of Xavier and Stella, maybe that was why he took an instant liking to her? She was fun and free and was strong with her personal battles that Hikaru understood because they were similar to Xavier's problems. Being around her gave him a burst of energy at times, and made him exhausted sometimes too. Plus, it was amusing that she was practically in love with Xavier and the others, and didn't know Hikaru was good friends with them.

He shifted in his seat, watching Maggie and Garrett argue about what to watch on tv, happy he and Kaoru never argued like that. He went back to his phone, not interested in the argument. Haruhi was texting him about meeting up for lunch next week and was letting him decide where they eat, which she never let him do.

"Hikaru!" Maggie exclaimed, making him look up at her pouting face. "Please side with me. Lost In Translation is about to premiere their newest music video and I want to watch it!"

"Let's watch that." Hikaru replied instantly, making Garrett roll his eyes. Garrett hated Lost In Translation, specifically Xavier, which was awkward.

"Thank you!" She snatched the remote out of her brother's hands and flipped channels, squealing when the commercial break ended and the program resumed.

"_Hey, we're Lost In Translation." _Hikaru moved to sit beside Maggie, smiling when he saw the four on the screen, listening to Isaac speak. _"We're about to premiere our music video for 'She's Got A Boyfriend now' and we really hope you enjoy it." _

"_And we're also announcing our next tour, 'Summer Heartbreak' Tour! We'll be hitting up all around North America first, then head over to Europe. All the information including dates and tickets is on our website now." _Vinny announced and Maggie almost screamed, getting a glare from Garrett.

"Oh, yay, more money wasted on them." He rolled his eyes and Maggie sighed through her nose, irritated.

"Look, they mean a lot to me, okay?" She told him and Hikaru saw Xavier in her with the way her shoulders straightened and her eyes read 'they've done more for me than you'll ever know'.

"_Emails with the special presale code will be sent out tomorrow! Presale starts next Tuesday and normal sale starts next Wednesday, so make plans with your friends to join us this summer. We're so excited to meet you guys, especially me!" _Stella smiled, her bubbly personality lighting up the room.

"_Can't wait to see you all again this summer. Without further ado, here's 'She's Got A Boyfriend Now'." _Xavier smiled at the camera before it faded to the music video.

"They look so cool." Maggie said in awe as they watched the video. Hikaru shrugged but he was thinking the same thing. He turned his attention from the music video to his phone, going to check the tour dates for the concert. They had a few dates in New York City, which meant he would have time to hang out with them.

"They'll be here May twelfth through the sixteenth." Hikaru said and Maggie smiled at him.

"You're going to go?" Garrett asked and Hikaru nodded his head and chuckled inwardly because Garrett was going to go too, he just didn't know it yet.

* * *

"I think his dislike for Xavier just stems from his sister's obsession with him." Haruhi told Hikaru as they ate pizza together. Haruhi was the go to person for unbiased advice. "I'm sure once they met they'll get along. That is a tough situation though. I would want my boyfriend to get along with my best friend."

However, Haruhi didn't fully understand the tension that was bound to be there because of Hikaru and Xavier's past relations and his and Garrett's current relations. Still, listening to her advice eased his nerves. She was right, Garrett's dislike of Xavier most likely did come from Maggie's obsession with them.

"How are you going to introduce him to them?" Haruhi asked and he stared at her. "You haven't thought this through all the way, have you?"

"I guess him just showing up isn't a good idea." Hikaru muttered, wondering if he should be gentle with the introduction or not. "I've been busy with school so I haven't really put much thought into it. I should probably introduce them at my apartment so we're not in public causing a scene, because Maggie will cause a scene."

"Either their apartment or yours would be the best choice. You have time to plan it, just be gentle with it."

* * *

Hikaru didn't use his time to plan it.

At all.

He was currently standing at the airport, waiting for them. He had told Garrett that his friend Xavier was coming into town and that caught Garrett's interest since he had been wanting to meet Hikaru's mysterious friend. Xavier had talked Jackal into getting them an earlier flight so they had today as a free day before starting their concert days in New York. He was going to go with Hikaru to Maggie and Garrett's apartment while the others would go to the hotel and join them for dinner so it wouldn't be too overwhelming.

"Hikaru!" He heard Stella shout but it was so crowded, he didn't know where she was until she was hugging him tightly, rambling about how much she missed him.

"Give him some oxygen there, Stella." Xavier said and Hikaru saw them standing around him with their luggage. Hikaru didn't know why, but he felt relaxed with all of them near him.

"I don't need oxygen when I have Stella hugging me." Hikaru replied, hugging her back and smirking at Xavier.

"I'm so excited to be meeting your boyfriend tonight! You're going to come to all of our shows, right? I really hope so!" Stella moved a mile a minute and Hikaru had missed that. He agreed to come to all their New York shows as Isaac patted him on the shoulder, his own way of saying he was happy to see him, and got Stella to give Hikaru a break.

Vinny pulled him into a side hug and ruffled his hair, making Hikaru whine but Vinny just laughed, hugging him tighter before releasing him. "I need a nap, so we're shovin' off to the hotel. Text us and we'll meet ya'll at the restaurant, alright?" Vinny said and grabbed Xavier's suitcase, rolling it off with the others.

"I told him to sleep on the plane, but what do I know, yeah?" Xavier joked and smiled at Hikaru, his beanie pulled over his head despite it being May and sunglasses covering his eyes, trying to keep a low profile in the busy airport.

Hikaru hugged him tightly, not able to resist the urge any longer. "You don't know anything." He teased, breathing in his scent and trying not to melt into Xavier's arms as he hugged him back.

"I know that you missed me." Xavier said in a soft voice, making Hikaru grip him tighter. "Because I missed you." Hikaru's heart raced at this and he wanted to deny it but all he could do was continue to hug Xavier.

Nothing felt simple around Xavier but it sure as hell felt right.

* * *

"Okay, uh, there's something I probably should have told you a little earlier." Hikaru muttered as they stood outside the apartment door. "Maggie is in love with you and Garrett hates you."

"Ah, so my odds are decent here." He mumbled, looking at Hikaru with raised eyebrows. "Explain?"

"Maggie is obsessed with your band and that makes Garrett hate all of you, specifically you. Plus I haven't told either that you're….you know…."

"_That_ Xavier?"

"Yeah, they just know you're my best friend and that you're busy a lot of the time." Hikaru admitted sheepishly and Xavier only rolled his eyes, not seeming irritated with him.

"Well, this will be quite the shock to them, yeah? Let's not put it off any longer." He nudged Hikaru, who unlocked the door with his spare key and peaked in, seeing Garrett on the couch, flipping through channels.

"Hey, I'm here with Xavier." Hikaru greeted and walked in with Xavier and shut the door behind him. Garrett turned and stood up, smile on his face until he looked at Xavier and Hikaru could see the process his brain was going through. Maggie bounded into the room and froze, then looked at Garrett, then looked back to Xavier.

"Hey, mates, thanks for keepin' Hikaru in check. It's lovely to meet you two." Xavier greeted and Maggie let out a weird noise. It sounded like a squeal, but a panicked one. Hikaru was panicking on the inside while Xavier just stood there and smiled, used to this.

"You're Xavier Labelle!" Maggie exclaimed, finally getting her words together to form a sentence. Garrett was now staring at Hikaru, who was avoiding eye contact. "OH MY GOD! Hikaru! Oh my god, I—oh my god!" She hurried over and stood in front of Xavier, looking to be shaking. "I'm Maggie! I'm a really big big fan! I'm sorry!"

"Hey, Maggie. Hikaru told me, thank you for enjoying our music, I really appreciate it. Sorry the little shit didn't warn you." Xavier handled it so well, but Hikaru wasn't all too surprised. Xavier dealt with fans all the time. Xavier chuckled as she stood there and opened his arms, motioning for a hug. Maggie instantly reacted and hugged him, looking like she wanted to cry.

"Ah, it's really nice to meet you." Garrett started, walking over to them. "Maggie, please, relax."

"It's Xavier!" Her voice came out muffled as she continued to hug Xavier, who was amused at the whole situation. He moved an arm from around Maggie to shake Garrett's hand, smiling at him.

"It's cool, mate. It's great to meet ya, Hikaru talks about you a lot." Xavier said, wanting Garrett to like him. He hadn't gotten to meet any of Hikaru's past significant others, so he didn't want to fuck this up, plus, Garrett already hated him, so he had to make a good first impression.

"I'm sure not as much as he talks about you." Garrett shook his hand back and Xavier could already tell it would be difficult to win Garrett over. He could also tell that Garrett was not pleased with this surprise and was mad that Hikaru didn't warn him, which Xavier couldn't blame him for, but it wasn't that big of a deal.

Maggie let him go and looked to be calmer now, but still excited over the turn of events. Hikaru smiled at her, loving her reaction. He knew Garrett was angry at him, but it was worth it to make Maggie so happy. He felt like she needed someone in her corner.

"I love your hair, by the way. Stella is going to flip when she sees it." Xavier started and Maggie looked shocked once more.

"She's going to see it?" She asked and looked at Garrett as if he had the answers.

"We're getting dinner together tonight." Hikaru added, having mentioned dinner with Xavier, but not with his friends. "Yeah, Stella, Isaac, and Vinny are joining us."

"They're excited to meet you, they wanna make sure Hikaru's boyfriend is top notch. Told them not to worry about it but like they listen to me." Xavier joked with a shrug while Garrett nodded his head, looking more relaxed now that he thought he had Xavier's approval so quickly.

Yeah, like he'd have Xavier's approval so easily.

"I can't believe this is happening." Maggie mumbled and for once, Hikaru noticed, Garrett looked like he agreed with her.

* * *

Dinner went far better than Hikaru had prepared for. He had to thank Vinny and Stella for keeping the conversation rolling and for Xavier for asking Garrett so many questions about himself. Hikaru knew Xavier wasn't all that interested in Garrett's life, because Garrett and Xavier were opposites, but he acted interested in anything Garrett said which pleased Garrett and hopefully made him like Xavier more.

Maggie almost died when Xavier kissed her cheek and told her he'd see them tomorrow at the concert before he and the others left for the night. Hikaru was happy to hear about how excited she was for the whole walk home, listening to her ramble happily made him smile.

"Hikaru, I just…thank you." She told him when they got back to the apartment. "Well, time for bed! I gotta be ready to rock tomorrow!" She hugged him tightly and ran off to her room, squealing the whole way. When Hikaru turned to Garrett, his smile dropped.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me." Garrett started, irritated. "I looked like an idiot. All those times when you could have mentioned it, and you didn't? Did you not trust me to keep it a secret or whatever?"

"No, of course not." Hikaru mumbled, understanding why Garrett was upset, but thinking he was being a little over dramatic. "I don't tell a lot of people honestly. I had been planning to tell you but then you talked about how much you hated them and I wasn't sure if you'd ever meet him so…"

"You weren't sure that I'd be around long enough to meet him?" Garrett asked and of course that was the part that he hung onto.

"No, not like that. Xavier is really busy, he never met my past boyfriends or girlfriends. _I_ barely even get to see him. It's something that's just kept between the gang and I." Why was Garrett so angry about this? He should be over it, it wasn't that big of a deal. "Would you be so eager to tell your boyfriend that the guy he hates the most is his best friend? I doubt it."

That shut Garrett up.


	53. Heartbreak Is The National Anthem

**Wear earplugs at concerts, trust me. Helps block out the echo and excess noise around you and protects your ears.**

**Yo that new PANIC! Album is sick as shit and Imma take some songs from it, maybe, don't care how poppy they are because they are my sweet new summer tunes! Can't wait to see them soon!**

**Urg I have so many different things I wanna do with this but I think I'm goin keep it simple ya know break a few hearts end up somewhere happy take forever to update because I am organizing it all far too last minute**

**thank you all so much for the reviews! They mean so much!**

* * *

"I don't like him." Stella mumbled as they got ready for their meet and greet before the show. She combed half of her hair into a short pigtail, making sure it was tight enough, before she began the same process on the other side.

"He's not what I thought Hikaru would go for." Isaac said as he waited by the door of the bus, ready to get started.

"Let's give him a chance." Xavier told them but he didn't like Garrett either. He wasn't right for Hikaru. It wasn't as if he was boring or the complete opposite of Hikaru, but he didn't fit well with him. Garrett was one of those guys who tiered himself above others in some cocky manner and overall he was a hipster, a serious hipster. Hikaru had a cocky manner as well and was sort of a hipster, but it didn't mesh well with Garrett. Xavier was biased though.

"You fit with Hikaru better." Stella muttered as she checked her hair and left the bathroom. Xavier let out a sigh and looked to the door, not meeting Vinny or Isaac's eyes. He didn't want to have this conversation before the show, it would cloud his mind and distract him.

"C'mon, we've got fans to meet." He motioned for her to hurry and headed down the stairs.

* * *

Hikaru had never been in the pit at a concert before, but it wasn't so bad. The earplugs that he, Garrett, and Maggie had on helped a lot more than he originally thought. He was glad that Vinny had given them to him last night.

Maggie was beside him, gripping at the barrier that they were pressed again. She looked so excited and hyped up while Garrett, who was on Hikaru's other side, looked somewhat bored. He hadn't enjoyed the previous two bands that they were touring with and Hikaru wished Garrett had opted to sit in the stands with the rest of the gang. He felt like Garrett shouldn't be here, which was wrong of him because he was his boyfriend, he loved being around him, but something just felt off. Maybe it was the guilt Hikaru had for not being complete honest with Garrett about his relationship with Xavier?

The lights dimmed and Hikaru's mind dropped the issue as the crowd's screams clouded his whole self. He felt adrenaline pump through his veins with Maggie's screams hitting his protected ears and the sounds of drums cutting through the noise. Hikaru knew the song they were about to play, he knew every one of their songs by heart and he gripped the bars, letting Maggie put her hand over one of his with a tight grip.

"_You got two black eyes from loving too hard and a black car that matches your blackest soul. I wouldn't change ya, oh oh. Wouldn't ever try to make you leave, no! The neon coast was your sign and the Midwest wind with Pisces rising. Wouldn't change ya, oh oh. Wouldn't ever try to make you leave, no!"_

Hikaru looked up at the stage and saw Xavier there, guitar hanging off of him and the mic in one hand, looking out into the crowd as he sang.

"_The black magic of Mulholland Drive, swimming pools under desert skies. Drinking white wine in the blushing light. Just another LA Devotee!"_

Everything felt far more intense than it had in the stands months ago and Hikaru didn't care if Garrett wasn't having the time of his life because Hikaru sure as hell was. He screamed along with Maggie as the song ended and the next one begin, ignoring the shoves behind him and focusing on who was in front of him.

"How's everyone doing tonight!?" Xavier shouted into the mic after the second song finished, his eyes sweeping the crowd again. Hikaru felt them stop on him and he wasn't sure if Xavier could see him, but he still smiled and waved at him. His smile grew when he got a wink in return, his heart beating against his ribcage. "First off, we're Lost in Translation! I'm your incredibly talented front man for this concert tonight."

"Okay, you should only open your mouth to sing." Vinny cut in and Hikaru laughed louder than he should have; he caught Xavier's glare in his direction. How did Xavier pick up his laugh so easily? He had to have been glaring at the whole crowd for laughing. "Roll call real quick in case you guys don't know us, which would be awkward but we'll look past it. I'm Vinny, that's Isaac, and cutie on drums is Stella!" Stella slammed the drums and the crowd screamed.

She was obviously the favorite.

"And I'm Xavier, nice to meet you all." Xavier smiled and the crowd screamed louder.

Okay, maybe he was the favorite.

Not that Hikaru was jealous.

"Oh my god, I'm in love with him!" A girl behind him cried. He gripped the bar and ignored Maggie's look she was giving him. How did that girl know she was in love with him? She probably hadn't even met him before!

"We really appreciate you guys coming out and seeing us, truly, it's quite the honor to play for you all." Xavier continued and took a gulp of water from his bottle. "But instead of more chatting, how about we play some songs, yeah?" More screams from the crowd echoed around the stadium and Xavier smiled, look of content clear on his face.

"Let's rock!" Stella cheered and all of Hikaru's worries washed around with the beat of the next song.

His throat hurt a little from all the screaming and he was sweaty from the jumping and dancing, but Hikaru never felt better. Maggie kept bumping hips with him, nowhere close to running out of energy, and Garrett looked to at least be trying to enjoy himself, not that any of Hikaru's attention was on his boyfriend while Xavier was in front of him.

"I'd like to take this time to say thank you to the parents who are here tonight." Xavier said after finishing a few songs.

"We're also like to apologize for our language and content of some of our songs." Stella spoke quickly, sounding as adorable as ever.

"Oh yes, good call on that one, mate. I know most of you don't particular want to be here but we want to thank you for letting your kids come and coming along with them. I know some of you not might not get what your kids see in us, but thank you, again, for letting them come. They all mean the world to us and I'm glad they have such great parents as you guys." He clapped and so did everyone else, throwing in screams and hollers and 'I LOVE YOU MOM'. "Heh, yeah, mate, I feel ya, I love my mum too. I'm sure you all didn't come just to hear me talk about my mum, yeah?"

Hikaru smiled up at him and watched Xavier's eyes sweep over the crowd before they landed on him. "Anyway, how about another song?" He dragged his eyes away and turned to the band, nodding his head.

* * *

Hikaru stretched out and yawned, settling onto Garrett's bed. His head was pounding and he really needed to sleep right now. Garrett was beside him, reading some book for class, Hikaru didn't pay attention. He turned around from Garrett and closed his eyes, ready for another fun fill day tomorrow.

"Hikaru, did you used to date Xavier?" Hikaru's eyes shot open and he stared at Garrett's closet door, wondering what to say.

"Hm? Why would you think that?" Seemed like a safe bet. He didn't make a move to turn around, he didn't want to continue this conversation.

"The way he looks at you, it's different than how he looks at everyone else." Garrett muttered and oh no, Hikaru's heart shouldn't be fluttering after hearing this. Why was he getting excited? Why was he smiling?

"I think you're seeing things. Xavier is my best friend; we've been through a lot together you know." He reasoned, trying to calm himself and settle Garrett's worries. "You've had a long day, it's making you crazy. Turn off the light and let's sleep."

"Yeah, I know you two have been through a lot together, can't help wondering how much exactly…" Garrett mumbled the last part, yet Hikaru heard it loud and clear. He couldn't decide if he felt guilty or angry. Guilty because he was lying to Garrett and with how his heart was pounding, he might still have feelings for Xavier. Angry because Garrett wasn't letting this go, wasn't trusting Hikaru. He was constantly reassuring Garrett, not just about Xavier, and he was starting to get tired of the male's jealousy.

They weren't a perfect couple, far from it Hikaru was realizing, but he had been invested in it from the start. Now, however, it was starting to feel like a sinking ship he might have to jump overboard from.

"I'm sorry, you're right." Garrett sighed, surprising Hikaru with the apology. "I don't wanna fight, let's just get to bed."

* * *

Xavier leaned back, sighing through his nose. He kept his eyes closed, listening to the city around him. He could hear Stella's chatter in the back of his mind—something about milk—but he wasn't as active in the conversation as Isaac was.

"Uhm, excuse me?" He heard a female beside him question and he opened his eyes, catching sight of the blue sky through his sunglasses, before he sat up straight in his chair and turned to face the stranger.

She didn't look very old, actually, she looked maybe fourteen. An adult stood off the side, smiling encouragingly at the teenager when she glanced back at them before turning again to face Xavier. She was gripping tightly at the bottom of her shirt and her face was red; she looked terrified.

"Hello!" Stella jumped in before Xavier could fully process what was happening. He hadn't slept at all the night before and he probably should've stayed in bed, but he wanted to go out for breakfast with the others.

"H-Hello, I'm sorry for bothering you all….just wondering….picture…" She was mumbling under her breath and he didn't know why, but it always made Xavier chuckle a bit; in a good way. She took a deep breath and nodded her head, encouraging herself. "May I please take a picture with you all? I'm sorry I'm very nervous."

"Much better, dear, could barely hear you before." Xavier spoke up, grinning at her as he turned on the charm. "Of course you can, like we could turn you away." They all got up from their table as the mother hurried over, taking the girl's phone so she could take a picture of them.

"So great to meet you!" Stella hugged the girl, always the one to reach for hugs and help calm them down. "Alrighty now, boys, you better smile!" She pouted at them before turning to the mother, holding the girl's hand tightly. The mom took one picture before motioning for another, which they were used to. You always needed a back up picture. Xavier put his arm around her shoulder the best he could, she was pretty short, and smiled as the mom took the picture.

"Thank you so much." The mother started as she walked over and Vinny reached out to shake her hand, always the most polite with the parents. "She was so scared and I really appreciate you all being so kind, I'm sorry about interrupting your breakfast."

"No worries! Fans should always come talk to us, they're the reason we're here in the first place." Vinny replied as the fan shook her head 'no' to whatever question Isaac had asked.

"I wasn't able to get tickets, but I'm so lucky to have met you guys. You're my favorite band!" She exclaimed, face still red.

"Who needs tickets? Just roll up to 'Will-Call' and we'll get you in." Xavier said, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "Let me send Jackal a text, what's your name?"

"Are you sure?" Her mother asked, ready to decline because parents always did; they didn't want to hassle them.

"Of course, Jackal will be there waiting for you and your mother and whatever friends you want to bring along. Not fair that scalpers get the tickets before fans do, not everyone has the money when tickets go on sale." Xavier told them both and raised his eyebrows at the girl. "So what's the name, first and last, dear?"

Xavier wasn't expecting her to hug him tightly, muffling her name into his shirt. "Heh, lovely name, I'll let him know to escort you and your party to their seats tonight." He said and wrapped one arm around her as he sent off the text. "Hey now, don't go crying, you're much too cute to be crying."

"You're the best! Thank you so much!" She said as she wiped off her face, releasing him from the hug.

"Not a problem, it's the least we can do for you!" Stella told her, smiling at her. "I hope you have a great time at the show tonight, don't forget to tag us when you post that picture, I'll be looking for it."

With that, the two left and Xavier plopped back down, pleased his tea was still warm. He leaned forward and took a sip, feeling much better than when he woke up.

"So, you got any plans with Hikaru today?" Stella asked and he shrugged, not sure. "What do you mean? You two should be spending every second you can together!"

"Yeah, like his boyfriend would like that much." Xavier said and took another sip, not wanting to go down this road with Stella. "I'm getting lunch with Dove later, I'll probably have dinner with Hikaru again like we did last night."

"Who cares what his boyfriend likes? He's a jerk." Stella muttered, smothering her bagel with cream cheese.

"He isn't who I imagined Hikaru with." Isaac piped in, earning a look from Xavier. "I'm not meaning that I imaged you two together, I mean that he isn't exactly Hikaru's type. He's a bit demanding and seems like the type to get jealous easily, plus, he doesn't even like our music, or you."

"Don't think that last one is a deal breaker there, Isaac." Xavier said, watching Stella load up her bagel.

"Oh please, Xavier, it is. If Garrett continues to dislike you after our visit, there's no way Hikaru is going to stay with him. You're his best friend." Vinny told him and Xavier really didn't want to go down this road. Not first thing in the morning after a rough night. Not when he was going to have to see Hikaru tonight with Garrett in tow. "It's not like he's Tiffany. You didn't just break it off and cut off all contact."

"Don't mention her, urg." He hadn't spoken or seen her since he came back to America years ago and he wanted to keep it that way. She was done with, she was nothing. "I know, I know. Can we please not do this? I'm getting a headache."

* * *

"How's college treating you?" Xavier asked as Haruhi put down her menu, deciding what to order. They were in some diner of her choosing, sitting in the back booth. She launched into an explanation of one of her current assignments after the waitress took their order, telling Xavier all about it even though he barely understood a word of it. It sounded difficult, but Haruhi could do anything she put her mind to and he wasn't worried.

"I'm surprised you have time to eat lunch with me, I for sure thought Hikaru was going to monopolize you for your entire trip, but I guess he doesn't want Garrett jealous." She said and sipped her drink and Xavier kept his mouth shut, not even sure what to say. "That guy really doesn't like you. Hikaru was so worried about him meeting you. I think he just doesn't like you because his sister obsesses over you, and now he's found out that your Hikaru's best friend. He's jealous."

"Why does everyone say that…" He mumbled, not meaning to say it out loud. He had asked Monique for advice last night before he went to bed and she had texted him the same thing. "There's nothing to be jealous of. I'm not going to take Hikaru from him." No matter how much Xavier wanted to.

"It's how close you guys are. I swore you two were dating back at Ouran with how close you both had gotten." Xavier really needed to be honest with her. Kaoru already knew, and having another person besides Monique and the band—including William—to go to for advice about Hikaru, would be nice.

"Uh…about that, dove—" the waitress interrupted him, bringing them their food, and he was wondering if this was a sign that he should shut the hell up and not say a word.

He was never the greatest at reading signs.

"Hikaru and I weren't just friends." He had no clue how to explain this without sounding like an idiot because boy was he one for getting himself into that mess in the first place. She stopped poking at her French fries and stared at him, big doe eyes looking into his soul as he scrambled to explain everything from start to finish. He bit his lip after he told her everything, terrified of her reaction.

"I can't believe I didn't know. You two were so obvious about everything and I missed it. That explains so much now…especially now with Hikaru." She took a bite of her fry, going over everything in her head. "No wonder he was so worried about you meeting Garrett…and why he wasn't interested in anybody when we first got here."

"All my fault, sorry if he put you through the ringer."

"That explains why he's staying with Garrett." She added and he stopped eating to look at her. "He's trying so hard to make it work to try and convince himself…" She was talking to herself now and Xavier was having trouble hearing her.

"Yo, Dove, what are you rambling on about? What is he trying to convince himself of?"

"That he's not in love with you anymore, but I don't think its working."


	54. This Love Is Alive Back From The Dead

**Slow update is so again, so sorry. Yeah I did basically copy Taylor Swift's concert, but I liked how she had things set up it was very entertaining. Yeah goin use a lot of Taylor Swift's songs too as Mona's songs they just work best. **

**Also sorry that the concert seemed rushed but it's hard to write about it when I was trying to focus on the videos plus I didn't want a bulk of this to be song lyrics**

**Long chapter is long chapter yall deserved it. The site wouldn't upload the file so I had to copy and paste it in. I'm sorry if anything is off about it. **

* * *

Xavier jumped when Vinny placed his hand on his shoulder, breaking him from his thoughts.

"You okay? You've been jittery since your lunch with Haruhi," Vinny questioned, eyebrows furrowed in concern. Xavier looked at him and shook his head, not wanting to bother Vinny with his problems right before the show.

"I'm just ready to get on with this tour," he lied, standing up from his sit by the window. He didn't have time to think about Hikaru and whether or not what Haruhi had said was true. Hikaru was with Garrett and Xavier was in a rockband, that was it. Xavier didn't want that to be it, but what was he supposed to do? He couldn't just go in and break them up.

Garrett was an alright guy. Was he the type that Xavier imagined Hikaru dating? Not really, but Xavier was bias. Garrett just seemed to be the jealous type which didn't work well with Hikaru, who himself was a jealous type, and one who didn't like to be controlled or told what to do. Hikaru knew what he was doing, though, and Xavier wouldn't interfere unless need be.

"Ready?" Stella questioned, bouncing over to the door on their tour bus, ready to put on a show.

"As always," Xavier replied, pushing it far back.

* * *

"You'll come back in town for Kaoru and I's birthday, right?" Hikaru asked, pouting at Xavier as the male took a seat across from him at the table. He was a little mad that Xavier decided to sit across from him instead of the seat next to him, but he chalked it up to Xavier not wanting to irritate Garrett, who was on Hikaru's other side.

"Ah, don't know about that one," Xavier mumbled, swirling his drink around in his glass.

"We're turning twenty-one, Yuukio's even going to make sure she's in town and has a clear schedule," Kaoru told him, trying to convince him.

"It's not his fault if he has a show," Garrett said and Xavier narrowed his eyes, trying to figure out if Garrett was actually defending him, or pleased that Xavier might not make it for the twins birthday. Xavier had been trying to convince himself that Garrett wasn't being mean to him every time the male spoke to him, but he was getting tired of lying to himself. Garrett hated him and did a shitty job of hiding it. He was short and rude to Xavier half the time and the other half he ignored him completely.

Xavier hated him too but at least he could cover it up with a smile.

"You're supposed to help us experience all the best drinks, you're the partier of the group," Hikaru added. He would be majorly upset if Xavier couldn't visit on his birthday; they had talked about it multiple times, there's no way he planned a show for that day! "You need to be there to make sure we don't do anything stupid."

"He's right about that," Haruhi muttered, looking at their group. Xavier was definitely the partier out of all of them.

"I don't party nearly as much as I did when I was younger. Gods, now I sound so old," he joked and took a sip of his drink while he looked at them. "Ha, you lot are just fine at that, you all saw how I behaved, so do the opposite of what I would do. Kyoya will keep you all in check, yeah?"

"I'd rather not be stuck babysitting, again," the male looked unamused as always. "Seeing you get stuck with that role would be interesting to watch."

"I've gotten quite good at babysitting, actually. Rosalina makes sure I'm top notch," he grinned, thinking of his little sister. He didn't want to miss the twins' twenty first birthday, and he definitely wasn't going to. Monique had already planned it all out, he just had to go with it. "I'll see what I can swing."

* * *

"Hikaru!" Monique's voice chimed in his ear when he answered the phone. It had been so long since they had called each other, her speaking voice felt a little foreign to his ears. "What are you doing tonight?"

"It's my birthday, so I'm going out," he replied, a little deflated since Xavier had texted him saying he wouldn't be able to visit. He and the others were going to go out to eat and maybe a bar, but it wasn't as fun without Xavier.

"Nooo, you're going to my concert tonight!" She exclaimed, sounding extremely excited.

"What?" He questioned, turning off the tv in he and Kaoru's apartment.

"Is that Monique? Perfect timing," Yuukio said, coming out of Kaoru's room with Kaoru close behind. "Surprise! Did we surprise you? Kaoru found out two weeks ago, he forced it out of me, but at least we surprised you!"

"What?" He questioned again, hearing Monique laughing in his ear.

"It's a surprise! You think that I would miss out on you and Kaoru's birthday? I have a show to do first, obviously you're all invited, perfect since I want to meet your boyfriend, but then we're going to go to the hottest club to celebrate!" Monique explained, still laughing. "I've had this set up for months, don't worry everyone knows. I'm surprised Tamaki was able to keep it a secret, he's got quite the mouth. Kaoru had to go spoil it for himself."

"Come on, we've got to get a move on to get everyone. Plus, you need to explain to Garrett and Maggie about Monique," Yuukio said, guiding him to the apartment door. "This is going to be fantastic!"

* * *

"Just how many famous people do you know?" Garrett asked once they were all in the limo, heading towards the venue.

"Monique is so beautiful and talented, I can't believe she's your best friend," Maggie rambled dreamily, once again more excited than anything.

"Uh, not many, unless you want to count Xavier's mom and uncle, and grandpa and grandma," Kaoru sheepishly grinned with a shrug. "And some of Xavier and Monique's friends but that's it." Hikaru grinned as well, excited to see Monique, even if Xavier was absent.

"It's her last show on the tour, so you bet it's going to be amazing," Maggie added, barely able to sit still as the limo stopped. They all got out and were escorted into the venue, down stairs and through hallways until they reached Monique's dressing room.

"Hey!" Monique exclaimed as she turned around in her makeup chair. She quickly got up and hurried over, hugging Kaoru before hugging Hikaru. "Happy Birthday you two!"

"Thanks, Mona," Hikaru said, having missed the pop star. This surprise was more for him than it was for Kaoru, but that was fine, Yuukio was more than enough for Kaoru.

"Ooh, I missed you so much!" She hugged him tightly before noticing Garrett and Maggie, loosening her hold on him. "Is this him? Hello, I'm Monique!" She reached out to shake Garrett's hand, a bit miffed by his lack of enthusiasm, before she moved her attention to Maggie. Hikaru ignored Garrett's attitude and he knew Monique would too, at least while in the public eye. "So lovely to meet you both! It's almost show time, so unfortunately we'll have to wait until after the show to talk more. I hope you guys enjoy it!"

* * *

"She was really sweet." Maggie said as they waited for Monique to come on, her other two opening acts already done.

"She's charming when she wants to be," Kaoru told her, leaning forward in his seat so he could talk to her.

"Not that Monique isn't a nice person or anything, she's caring and kind, but," Haruhi added, sighing as she thought about how forceful and head strong Monique could be. "It's like Xavier. They have a public image and a more personal one. Monique is really stubborn and can be forceful which I guess can be useful in this industry since she knows how to get what she wants."

"She seemed a little fake," Garrett mumbled and Hikaru glanced at him, wondering when his bad mood would be over. They had been having a few problems lately and Hikaru was tired of it. He knew he was the source of some of the issues but he had been trying to resolve them and make this relationship work. However, Garrett wasn't doing as well at resolving his own issues, he just created more. Hikaru didn't like how confined it, this relationship, felt. Garrett liked to stay on schedule and be in control of the situation, which wasn't a big problem, but Hikaru wanted a little more excitement and to be in control every once in a while. He hated to be bossed around and Garrett tended to do that a lot. Hikaru pointed this out but Garrett was still acting the same.

Hikaru knew relationships weren't always a honeymoon but they had to be better than this.

The lights dimmed and screams started, pushing back Hikaru's worries for now. There was a screen on each side of the stage and it lit up and begin to play a video.

_"What do I want from this tour?" _Monique was on the screen, sitting on a chair with a white backdrop behind her. Screams erupted around the stadium even though it was just a video. _"I want every person to leave thinking 'that was amazing'. I want them to be entertained from the start to the finish, I want to make sure they think about this night years down the road and remember it as one of the most amazing nights. This isn't just a concert, this is a journey. I want them to be different after tonight, because I know I will be." _

Music started playing and lights flashed from the stage and Hikaru screamed with Maggie, ready to get this concert started. Monique popped up from under the stage, dancers all around her and the screens had a close up of her face. Music started and Hikaru felt the excitement of the crowd all around him.

_"Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street. Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly." _She sang, walking down the stairs on the stage, heading towards the long strip of stage that jutted out into the crowd. _"Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall, like the colors in autumn, so bright just before they lose it all! Losing him was blue like I'd never known, missing him was dark grey all alone. Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met, but loving him was red!"_

She continued the song, waving to fans in the crowd as she danced around. "Hey everyone," she said once the song ended, heading back to the center of the stage. "I'm Monique."

"I'm sure they all know that," Kaoru chuckled, making Hikaru laugh a little.

"I'm glad you were all able to make it out tonight, I hope this night is as magical to you as it will be to me." She turned and faced the crowd, smiling widely. "Welcome to the Storm Tour and thanks for taking this journey with me." She finished as music started.

"I wonder who her special guest will be?" Maggie questioned and Hikaru shrugged, having not thought about it. He forgot Monique liked to have other artists at her show and now he was wondering the same thing.

She did another song before the stage went black and the screens lit up with another video.

"_Hey everyone, how's the show?" _

Hikaru's head snapped up at Xavier's voice, staring at the screen that had the male on it.

_"I have to introduce myself? You all know who I am, I'm the ex-boyfriend half of her songs are about!" _Xavier laughed and then it cut to another friend of Monique's who was talking about how they met her, then it went to Yuukio who was properly sitting up straight and smiling as she spoke a little, then it went back to Xavier. _"I'm Xavier Labelle, lead singer of Lost In Translation. Wait, won't you guys have a little name thing that will be on the bottom of the screen? I've run out of time to talk about how we met? Bloody hell I had quite the story."_

The video went away as Monique appeared in a new outfit, ready to do another set of songs. Hikaru was impressed with how she moved around on the stage and kept singing, sounding just like she did on her album. He shouldn't be too impressed, he knew how talented she was and how hard she worked. It actually made him feel a little guilty that he was looking forward to her next outfit change so the video would start again.

_"The best thing about Monique? Goodness there's so many." _Yuukio said, up on the screen. Hikaru saw Kaoru elbow her as she blushed, covering her face with her hands.

_"I've gotta say it's her attitude. That's probably her worst thing too." _Xavier said and off screen you could hear Monique yell something at him. He laughed and rolled his eyes before it switched to someone else. Hikaru liked these other people, he had met them multiple times, but he wanted to see Xavier. _"Mona, I didn't mean anything bad by that, but I have been on the bad side of you multiple times." _Xavier was back and pleading with someone behind the camera before he was gone again with the next set of songs.

"How's everyone doing?" Monique asked after a song, listening as everyone cheered. "Perfect! If you keep that up, I'll welcome the special guest onto the stage!"

Another few songs and the videos were back, this time Xavier had Vinny, Stella, and Isaac with him.

"_What do we do when we hang out with Monique? Hm, it depends. If it's all of us we're usually doing something with music. If it's just me, we go shopping or relax." _Stella explained after she introduced the group. _"If it's with Xavier they usually argue, it's really entertaining," _

"They fight a lot?" Maggie questioned and Hikaru shrugged.

"To us it's not really arguing. They get along great, they just like to tease and pick at each other_._" He replied, wishing they could all hang out. The video ended and Monique was back, big smile still on her face.

"You guys have been absolutely amazing! I guess you deserve that special guest I was teasing you about earlier," she smirked and moved a little to the side as the stage got darker, making it impossible to see who it was. "Get ready to rock!" She exclaimed as music started and Hikaru gripped his seat, knowing the music that was starting.

_"Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, it's hell of a feeling though! It's a hell of a feeling though!" _

"It's Xavier!" Maggie screamed as the stage went bright and Xavier popped up from under the stage, the others playing their instruments. Hikaru stood up with the rest of the crowd, screaming loudly. How could Monique not tell him that Xavier was here?! How could Xavier not tell him either?!

_"Who are these people? I just woke up in my underwear. No liquor left on the shelf. I should probably introduce myself," _Xavier sang as he put the mic on the mic stand and begin to clap, the music repeating itself to give him time to talk. "Hey everyone, what's going on? Having a good time out there?" He questioned with a grin. "As you might know, I'm Xavier, that's Vinny, that's Isaac, and cutie on the drums is Stella. We're Lost in Translation and we're here for a good time, so you better bring it!"

He grabbed the mic again and bounced around the stage with Monique.

_"Champagne, cocaine, gasoline and most things in between. I roam the city in a shopping cart, a pack of camels and a smoke alarm. This night is heating up, raise hell and turn it up. Saying "If you go out you might pass out in a drain pipe", Oh yeah, don't threaten me with a good time!" _

"Surprise!" Yuukio winked at him and he wanted to pout at her and be angry she hid this, but he was too happy he couldn't even muster up a fake frown.

_"I'm a scholar and a gentleman and I usually don't fall when I try to stand." _Monique rolled her eyes at this part and Xavier shrugged before he nodded back to Vinny. _"I lost a bet to a guy in a Chiffon skirt but I make these high heels work. I've told you time and time again. I'm not as think as you drunk I am, and we all fell down when the sun came up. I think we've had enough."_

They finished up the song and Hikaru knew his voice would be gone tomorrow with how loudly he screamed.

"How was that for a special guest, New York?" She questioned with Xavier's arm around her shoulders.

"Obviously, I'm a gentleman so I just won't leave after one song," Xavier told her as they both begin to walk from the runway to the center of the stage again.

"Of course, guys like you never go out of _style_," Monique grinned as Xavier pulled away to get his guitar from its stand and the lights dimmed. He begin to play and the crowd screamed again. _"Midnight, you come and pick me up no headlights…"_

Hikaru watched as they performed together again, effortlessly moving around each other despite only rehearsing this a few hours before the show. Hikaru was a little jealous how well they worked together, but they knew each other in ways no one else did, and he knew it was like how he and Kaoru knew each other in ways no one else did.

They finished the song before the stage went dim again and Hikaru watched the others leave and Xavier get an acoustic guitar.

"I hope you guys don't mind listening to a slower song," Monique started before she sat down on one of the stairs, Xavier joining her. "It's good to have a little breather, plus I thought it would be nice to let you guys hear a song from the album I'm working on now." This made everyone scream again and Hikaru looked at the screen that was focused on Xavier's smiling face. "I used to read books about love that stayed and I wondered about love that just didn't fit at the time. Would it come back when you let it go? I think it would. This song is called 'This Love'." She nodded to Xavier and he started to play.

_"Clear blue water, high tide came and brought you in and I could go on and on, on and on, and I will, Skies grew darker, currents swept you out again and you were just gone and gone, gone and gone. In silent screams, in wildest dreams, I never dreamed of this. This love is good, this love is bad. This love is alive back from the dead. These hands had to let it go free and this love came back to me."_

Hikaru felt lost in the softness of the song and it seemed like everyone else was with how quiet they were.

_"Tossing, turning, struggled through the night with someone new and I could go on and on, on and on. Lantern burning, flickered in my mind for only you but you're still gone, gone, gone. Been losing grip, on sinking ships. You showed up just in time."_

"How beautiful…." Yuukio mumbled and Hikaru could only nod.

_"Your kiss, my cheek, I watched you leave. Your smile, my ghost, I fell to my knees. When you're young you just run, but you come back to what you need. This love is good, this love is bad. This love is alive back from the dead. These hands had to let it go free and this love came back to me. This love left a permanent mark. This love is glowing in the dark. These hands had to let it go free and this love came back to me."_

Hikaru was still frozen after the song was over. He watched Monique give Xavier and a hug and she told the crowd to give another hand for the band. Xavier kissed her head before he disappeared down the stage and the concert continued. His mind kept going to the song again and again until Monique was waving bye to the crowd and it was over.

"Hikaru, that was amazing! I knew Xavier and the others wouldn't miss our birthday!" Kaoru beamed at him and he was filled with excitement and joy again but it mixed with the confusion and anxiousness that had come with the song.

"She didn't tell me she was going to do a new song, her new album isn't even completed yet," Yuukio told Haruhi, looking surprised.

Was Monique trying to tell him something?

* * *

"You liar!" Hikaru shouted when he entered the dressing room, finger pointed at Xavier, who was sitting atop the back of a couch drinking water.

"Ah, Hikaru, it was a surprise, yeah? Like I would honestly miss my favorite twins' birthday?" He joked and then grunted when Hikaru tackled him onto the cushions, hugging him tightly. Hikaru was so glad Kyoya had taken Garrett and Maggie with them to the club ahead of time, giving him much needed time with Xavier without Garrett watching. "I could never miss your birthday," He heard Xavier say and pat his back, making Hikaru feel warm and safe, like he always did.

"Let me give him a hug too," Kaoru said and Hikaru unwillingly rolled off on Xavier, landing on the floor. He stood and was pulled into a hug by Vinny as Xavier sat up and jumped over the back of the couch, going to Yuukio and Kaoru.

"We missed you, happy birthday," Vinny told him before passing him to Stella.

"Oh yes, happy birthday! We're going to make sure you have a great night!" She hugged him tightly in a very Stella-manner. "We missed you a lot, especially Xavier. It's easy to say hello but always hard to say goodbye.

"I missed you guys too, thanks," Hikaru smiled at them, wondering if they knew more then they let on. He never actually spoke to them about what happened with Xavier, but he knew that Xavier had told them.

"Ah yes, tonight will be a lovely evening. Hopefully one you might remember," Xavier said as he put his arm around Hikaru's shoulders, pleased Garrett wasn't around to glare daggers at him. He could never stay away from Hikaru and he hated trying to.

* * *

Hikaru had been to clubs before, but they were more fun when he actually got to drink.

"Mate, water," he felt Xavier hand him a glass and he gulped it down, not realizing how much his body wanted water. He had been dancing and only getting fruity drinks to cool himself off. He was sitting in a VIP section now with a few of the others, relaxing a bit before going back to dance.

"Thanks," he kept close to Xavier, pleased with how the male was looking out for him but letting him do whatever he wanted to do as well. He only gave suggestions to what Hikaru might like to drink or how much he should drink, unlike Garrett. Garrett was behaving more like a dad and less like a cool older brother that Xavier was acting like. He knew it came from a good place, but it was his birthday and he had asked Garrett to back off a little and loosen up.

"Good tip to drink water in between drinks. Keeps the hangover from being so nasty, you wouldn't want another like that one in London, would you?" Xavier asked and Hikaru shook his head, remembering it too well.

"I KNEW YOU HAD DRANK IN LONDON!" Yuukio exclaimed, getting loud when she's downed a few drinks. Kaoru patted her arm and gave her a glass of water, knowing he was dealing with her hangover and his tomorrow. "Bad influence, Xavier."

"He's still alive, and doing quite well," Xavier joked and sipped his own drink, enjoying himself. He watched Hikaru finish his water and he nodded his head and looked at Yuukio as if to prove how great of a job he was doing with making sure Hikaru was good. He saw Garrett head towards their section so he got up and moved away to the side Haruhi was on with Monique, not wanting to be near Garrett.

"You're letting him scare you off?" Monique muttered as she eyed Garrett who was trying to get Hikaru to drink another glass of water despite Hikaru's protests. "Don't you want him back?"

"It's not like he can take him from Garrett like that," Haruhi added but then paused. "Actually you probably could. You do still want him, right?"

"Dove, please, don't join in on this like Mona and Stella. There's nothing I can do, he's with Garrett," he told them both, downing his drink quickly. "Do I like Garrett? No, he's not right for Hikaru, but that isn't my call."

"Xavier, come on. Hikaru complains about Garrett a lot, he's not happy," Monique told him, holding her drink tightly as she watched them. "I told him he should break up with Garrett because it's not very fair to either of them. If Hikaru doesn't like the relationship is worth it, then he should let Garrett go. It's obvious Hikaru still has feelings for you anyway, Garrett can see it, we all can."

Xavier glanced at Hikaru, who was now heading to the bar with Yuukio and his brother. Stella was waving them over, pointing at the drink she had in her hand. "He's still with him, so it doesn't matter," Xavier wanted it to matter though. "He doesn't know what he wants and I am not going to interfere with it. I'm his best friend and that's all I'll be."

"You'll never be 'just his best friend'," Monique told him and sipped her drink, both knowing she was right.

* * *

"Hikaru, I think you might be done for the night," Xavier said with a little smile on his face. It was getting late and Hikaru was slurring a bit.

"He's definitely done," Garrett said and Vinny huffed from Xavier's side, not in the mood to deal with Garrett. "Hikaru it's time to go home."

"Never!" He exclaimed and he, Maggie, and Yuukio busted into a fit of giggles.

"Oh yes, you're getting all giggly like the birds," Xavier put his arm under Hikaru's elbow and helped him up, not wanting to pass him off to Garrett who was already reaching out for him. "Mate, we can take him home, he's a handful when he's drunk."

"I know, and I can handle it," Garrett snapped and Xavier paused, his temper just about shot as well. He couldn't just keep biting his tongue when Garrett spoke to him like this.

"Ya got your sis to take care of, she's goin' be a handful," Vinny piped in, knowing Xavier was close to his breaking point. The last thing they needed was Jackal pissed at them for fighting in a club.

"I'm goin' go with Zavy," Hikaru spoke, holding onto Xavier's side with his cheek pressed against it. "You always take good care of me," he told him, poking his side.

"That's what I'm here for," Xavier told him, ready to get out of here and get Hikaru back in his own bed.

"That's actually what I'm here for. I'm his boyfriend, I can handle it," Garrett argued and Isaac went to help Kaoru with Yuukio, knowing they needed to be ready to go incase Xavier couldn't fight his urge to punch Garrett. Garrett reached out for Hikaru but the male just whined and held onto Xavier tighter, swatting at Garrett.

"Zavyyyy!" He complained and Xavier wrapped an arm around him, glaring at Garrett.

"I'm his best mate, I got him," Xavier told him, seeing Isaac and Kaoru help Yuukio walk out of their section and towards the exit.

"I know you're his best friend, I don't know why! He has to sit around and wait for you to reply and make time for him like a dog waiting for his owner to get home." Garrett ranted and got Maggie, looping his arm around her waist.

"Garrett, stop it, don't be a jerk!" Hikaru told him, not in the right state of mind or mood to be dealing with this right now.

"Of course, taking his side as always. He's never there for you yet you still hold him on some high podium. Whatever, keep waiting around for him like a dumbass," Garrett ranted.

"Excuse me?" Xavier questioned and Vinny pulled Hikaru from Xavier's side to take him to the car as Monique joined Xavier's side.

"You heard me! And you're just some artist that's going to fade away like all the other has beens. You think you're big and mighty because you have teenagers worshipping you like a god, and for what? Because you were misunderstood by your parents? What a tough life, mate," Garrett said in a mocking tone, rolling his eyes. "And you were treated poorly by him, yet here you are, by his side. No wonder Hikaru and you are best friends," he said to Monique.

"I don't give a fuck what you have to say about me, but you don't speak about my fans like that, and you sure as hell don't speak about my friends like that. The last thing you want to do is get into a fight with me about those two things, because I will put you on your ass and make you regret ever opening your damn mouth," he threatened, glaring daggers at the other male. "Nothing you say about me is ever going to hurt me, but what you say about them? Yeah, that'll hurt you. So get the fuck out of my face before I do it myself."

"Garrett, I suggest you take your sister home. Now." Monique growled and he looked like he wanted to say something else, but turned and left with his sister, disappearing into the crowd. "You should have punched him. Fuck keeping it classy."

"I'm so making that a tweet," Xavier said as he looked over at her. "No one will believe you said that,"

"You're impossible. You almost knocked out Hikaru's boyfriend and you want to tweet something I said?" She rolled her eyes and pushed him towards the exit.

"I've got to have a good sense of humor to fend off this rage I'm feeling," He replied and walked towards the exit, keeping a hand on her back to make sure they weren't separated. "How dare he say those things about you and Hikaru, piece of shit."

"How dare he say those things about you!" She balled her fists, wanting to hit something. "Xavier, you worked hard to get where you are and you are always there for Hikaru no matter what. You've been through hell and back and nothing Garrett said was true. I know you're going to sit and dwell on it and question if he was right about how you treat Hikaru, but listen to me when I say he's wrong. Got it?" She questioned when they got outside. The flashing lights from the paparazzi blinded him momentarily but he nodded his head and guided her towards their limo, letting her in first before he shut the door.

"Did you clock him?" Isaac asked from the far side of the car. He had Stella asleep on him with Yuukio asleep on Stella and Kaoru rubbing his temples. Monique moved to sit on the other side of Vinny as Xavier shook his head.

"Zavy!" Hikaru pulled away from Vinny and clung to Xavier's side once more.

"Yeah yeah, I got you, settle down," Xavier mumbled, sighing deeply.

* * *

Xavier was so thankful that Kaoru wasn't drunk because then getting them into their apartment would be a nightmare. He told Vinny and the others he would be back down in a bit and was now carrying Hikaru up to his apartment while Kaoru was carrying Yuukio on his back. Hikaru was in the middle of telling some story about radishes, Yuukio was talking about shoes when Kaoru got the door unlocked. Yuukio kicked off her shoes, sending them flying onto the couch, and Kaoru hurried to get her into his room before any more clothes came off.

"Such a handful," Xavier muttered, shutting the door with his foot as Hikaru continued his tale. Xavier carried him into his room and dropped him on the bed, letting him continue to talk as he got his shoes off. He left and got Hikaru a bottle of water from the kitchen, only to have Hikaru attach to him again. "Hikaru, I only came to get you water."

"Don't leave," Hikaru said, the words muffled against his clothes.

"You're drunk and sleepy," Xavier picked him up again and carried him into his bedroom, only this time, Hikaru refused to let go when they reached the bed.

"You can't leave me, not again," Hikaru whined with a sniff and Xavier instantly felt bad.

"Alright, alright, I got you," Xavier kicked off his shoes and got into bed, setting Hikaru down next to him and the water bottle on the nightstand. He sent Vinny a text letting him know he was staying here for the night and then stretched out, letting Hikaru rest his head on his chest.

"What a shitty way to break up with someone…" Hikaru muttered and Xavier rubbed his back, still angry by it.

"Yeah, beats me dumping Mona and running off to America," He replied and Hikaru turned to look at him, eyelids heavy with sleep.

"Zavy nothing beats that, you were a dick," Hikaru smiled and moved some so his head was on Xavier's shoulder. "But I love you, you're the best and I miss you a lot. I know you have to but don't leave me again when I'm sleeping. Please be here when I wake up." Xavier felt his resolve breaking and why did Hikaru have to look at him like that?

"Of course, love, anything for you," Xavier kissed his head, wondering what he was going to do.


	55. And When I Call At 102

**I hate that it's taken me so long to update this. Like no matter what I wrote it wouldn't ever be worthy of such a long hiatus like good lord why did this take me so long to write.**

**FINALLY THE SONG THE SONG THAT THIS WHOLE DAMN STORY HAS BEEN BASED ON**

**YOU GOTTA GET ON YOUTUBE AND LOOK IT UP**

**I'm sorry it took so long to update but damn life happens and I just wasn't feeling like writing for a long time so I'm sorry**

* * *

Hikaru head was killing him as he tried to sit up. He gave up after the first attempt, deciding to return back to the warmth that was his bed.

"Headache?" He heard a voice ask and his eyes snapped open to see Xavier leaning over him. His hair was messy and he looked like he had just woken up too. Hikaru nodded his head slowly and ignored Xavier's small smirk as the blond got out of bed and left the room. Hikaru pulled the covers over his head, wondering what happened last night.

He and Xavier still had their clothes, so obviously nothing of that nature happened. He remembered arguing with Garrett but over what, he wasn't sure of. His head hurt far too much to try and figure it all out now.

"Come on now," he heard Xavier say and pull the comforter off of Hikaru's face. He whined but took the water and pill that was handed to him and swallowed both swiftly before pulling up the covers again. "Fine fine, go back to bed if you must."

* * *

"Urgggggggggggg," Hikaru groaned once he woke up again, a few hours later. His headache was dull at this point, but he still didn't feel all that great.

"Mornin, sunshine," Xavier greeted him, sitting upright on the bed next to him, messing with his phone.

"You stayed?" Hikaru questioned, parts of the night before flooding back into his memory. He was embarrassed that he practically begged Xavier to be there when he woke up, but he was happy that he did. "Thanks…I didn't make a fool of myself last night, right?"

"No no, you definitely did not. You had a good time," Xavier replied, putting his phone in his pocket. "C'mon, you need to get up and eat something." Hikaru made no effort to move, making Xavier sigh. "Such a lazy bum, yeah?"

"No no no!" Hikaru exclaimed as Xavier pulled him off the bed and picked him up, holding him over his shoulder. "God I think I'm going to puke, Zav," he was set down on the living room couch and immediately laid down on it, groaning.

"Prince Hikaru is finally awake?" Yuukio questioned from the kitchen and Hikaru weakly flipped her off and sat up to glare at her. Xavier leaned against the kitchen island, amused by this. "You had a long night last night."

"I guess? I don't remember a big chunk of it?" Hikaru questioned and Yuukio looked at Xavier worriedly and sipped her tea. He heard Kaoru get out of the shower and stretched, realizing he probably needed to shower as well. "Why? Did something happen?"

"Well—" Yuukio started before a knock at the door interrupted her. She went to answer it and Hikaru looked to Xavier for an explanation of last night's events.

"I fought with Garrett, didn't I?" He asked and Xavier nodded his head and was going to say more when Garrett entered the apartment. "Garrett?"

"Hikaru!" Garrett exclaimed and hurried over to the couch, momentarily glaring at Xavier before turning his full attention on Hikaru. "I'm sorry about the things I said last night, I didn't mean any of them."

"Then why did you say them in the first place?" Xavier asked, not pleased with his presence. "Why are you here?"

"To speak to _my _boyfriend, and I'm not sorry for the things I said to you," Garrett told him harshly.

"What did you say to him? What did you say to me?" Hikaru felt lost in this. He only remembered pieces but he remembered them fighting and Garrett grinding his nerves. He saw flashes of anger across Yuukio's face and full on anger on Xavier's. He couldn't remember the last time he saw Xavier so angry.

"He said vile things to Xavier!" Yuukio almost shouted, refusing to let Garrett try to smooth things over with Hikaru.

"He deserved it!" Garrett replied, not bothering to hide his hatred of Xavier. "He's always getting in the way of our relationship," he turned to Hikaru as he said this.

"Xavier is never like that," Hikaru told Garrett, only further frustrating the male.

"Yes he is! It's because he's in love with you and I'm in the way," Garrett ranted and it went silent. Kaoru came out of his room dressed, pausing as he took in the scene before him. Hikaru paused as well, his heart was starting to race.

Xavier was in love with him?

After all this time?

Hikaru looked to Xavier, who was staring at his phone on the counter, biting his lip. He looked back to Garrett and shook his head, no way was Xavier in love with him. "Garrett, you're wrong, he—"

"Hikaru," Xavier interrupted him, now looking up. His jaw was tight and he looked like he might break his phone in half. "He's right," Xavier sighed deeply, not wanting it to go this way. "I do love you."

"Oh my," Yuukio said under her breath, looking back and forth from Hikaru who wore a shocked expression, and Xavier who looked exhausted.

"However, I am not trying to push him out of the picture, even though he's quite the ass and you deserve far better. I want you happy, even if it means you're happy with somebody else. You're my best friend above everything and I refuse to let my selfishness ruin your chance at happiness." Xavier said as he slid his phone into his jacket pocket. "I'm sorry, I know the timing is utter shit, but you don't have to say anything. I'm not doing this for a response, I'm doing it to be honest with my feelings for once," he looked away, averting his eyes from Hikaru's stare. "I should probably go. I've got a plane to catch and you've got him to deal with…I'll talk to you later." With that, he nodded and left in a rush.

"Xavier?" Yuukio questioned and hurried after him, knowing Hikaru couldn't do it himself.

Xavier took the stairs because waiting for the elevator would take too long and Yuukio would catch up to him. He made it into the lobby right as the elevator dinged and Yuukio stepped out, right on his heels.

"Xavier!" She shouted and he sighed, slowing down to let her catch up to him as they made it out of the building and onto the busy sidewalk. She grabbed a hold of his arm tightly, making sure he couldn't get away. "What the hell? Why did you leave?"

"How could I have stayed?" He asked, running his fingers through his hair. "I had to be honest with him Yuukio, it was eating me up and Dove said he still loves me and I had to take a chance with it. I was going to tell him in private but then Garrett showed up and I couldn't let him get Hikaru back, I just couldn't." He rambled, feeling panicked. "I know it wasn't a good call but I had a burst of energy and I had to do it before I chickened out. Again. I have to give him space and time to think, I won't sit there and demand an answer. He needs to figure out what to do about Garrett and think about what it's going to be like to date me. I'm ready but is he?"

"Of course he is!"

"Being long distance friends is hard enough, but can you imagine a relationship? Hikaru is a physical person and sometimes I won't be able to fulfill that role because I'm touring or in California working on music. It's not easy and I'm not expecting him to want to do it. I had to be honest with him and myself, even if the feelings aren't returned," he looked at the street as a black SUV pulled up. The door opened to reveal Vinny leaning over the seats

"We're goin' miss our flight if you don't get in now!" He called and Xavier gave Yuukio a quick peck on the cheek.

"I've got to go, be good, crumpet," Yuukio watched Xavier get into the car and it pull out, mixing with all the other cars on the street.

* * *

Yuukio re-entered the apartment. Hikaru's eyes went to the door, frowning when he only say Yuukio. He sighed, headache returning full force.

"You don't love him back, do you?" Garrett questioned, eyes on Hikaru. Hikaru had no clue how to reply to this. For so long he had been trying to fight off his feelings towards Xavier and here he was making a big mess with Garrett.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, feeling guilty all over. "I did love him, I don't know if I still do." He saw Yuukio hurry into Kaoru's room and shut the door, trying to give them some privacy.

"So you were just using me?" Garrett asked, raising his voice as he thought about the last months of their relationship. "You never had feelings for me?"

"No! No, Garrett I do have feelings for you!" Hikaru exclaimed, looking at the male. "But Xavier…"

"Has more of your heart than I do," Garrett finished for him, lowering his voice now. "At first I just thought it was the distance that made you cling to him and talk about him all the time, but then when I met him…" Hikaru heard Garret sigh. "I knew that wasn't the case. He looks at you like you're his whole world and you look at him like he's the most amazing thing. I thought I could beat him, that I could get you to pick me, but obviously that's not going to happen."

"I'm sorry. I did want to choose you," Hikaru told him with slumped shoulders. "It was wrong of me to do this to you."

"Yeah, and it was wrong of me to say the stuff that I did last night, but we can't take it back now." Garrett stood, heading to the front door. He mumbled out a 'bye' and left, leaving Hikaru alone in the living room.

"Hey?" Kaoru popped his head out of his room, worried about his twin.

"I'll be fine. I just need time to think about it all," he looked up at Kaoru, who was now walking over to him. "Least I know where Xavier stands." He had no clue where he stood, though.

* * *

"Sure about this?" Xavier nodded his head at the stylist who was stirring up a color in a bowl. "I think it'll be nice, a good change."

"I've been blond my whole life, it'll be cool to try a new color," Xavier told her, cracking his neck as he waited for her to start.

"Fans will flip," Vinny said, sitting in the chair besides him, taking a quick snap of Xavier in the salon chair with the cape around him. "Should I do a color too? I like my hair too much to change it though."

"Do red," Xavier grinned as Vinny rolled his eyes at the suggestion. "Don't wanna look like a firetruck, mate?"

"No thanks, that might be a bit too much for me, mate." Vinny replied in a teasing manner before his face got serious. "You haven't spoken to Hikaru in a while, have you?"

"We texted a few days ago, but he's distanced himself," Xavier looked down at the phone in his lap as he felt the cold dye touch his head as the stylist started the process. "Not that I blame him, he's figuring it all out. I'd rather him be distant and seriously thinking about it rather than rushing into it and ruining it all…" he trailed off, moving his head the way the stylist asked him to. "I don't want to think about it too much. It's only been a couple of weeks and we're going to be leaving for Europe soon."

Vinny nodded his head and let the topic die, not wanting to upset Xavier. The past few weeks hadn't been easy ones. He understood why Hikaru was taking his time to figure it all out, dating Xavier was a lot to take on, but he wished he would decide soon. Xavier wasn't showing it, but he was on the edge about it. He was trying to remain calm, but he was jittery and anxious. The whole reason they were here was Xavier call for a change. He claimed the blonde was boring to him and that he wanted to do something different, hopefully it would calm him.

* * *

"Blue suits him," Yuukio smiled as Hikaru looked at pictures of Xavier's new hair on his laptop. He jumped, startled by her, before closing out of the tab with red cheeks.

"Yeah, it does," Hikaru mumbled. He had been surprised when he saw it, but it did suit him. He glanced at Yuukio to see her smiling at him and he groaned. "What?"

"Have you talk to him about it yet?" Yuukio questioned, quickly taking a seat next to him. "I know you said you didn't want to discuss it anymore, but that was weeks ago! You must have an answer by now?"

"It's a lot to think about, you know that. What if I can't take the distance? What if I can't handle the fans?" Hikaru questioned, letting out his frustrations. "Especially the fans that cling to him and say that they're going to marry him and—"

"Hikaru, you know that the only person Xavier would want to marry is you." Yuukio patted his shoulder, wishing Kaoru was here to say these things to his brother. They would mean more coming from him. She begin to rub his shoulder as he bit his lip, thinking about what she said. "We've discussed the pros and the cons and you've given it so much thought. It's time to stop denying it to yourself, you still love him."

"I do! But what if that's not enough? What if we don't make it because of all these factors? Fans? The band? The constant touring?" He stayed up so many nights driving himself up the wall just thinking about it. Yuukio had sat him down with Kaoru after everything happened and told him about Xavier's worries. At least he knew Xavier was prepared for distance and some silence from him, but he also knew that Xavier had some doubts.

"Hikaru, you'll never know until you try. Aren't you the risk taker in this group?" She questioned, trying to egg him on.

"This is Xavier we're talking about, Yuukio. I can't screw this up," he watched Yuukio sigh as he nodded his head. "So I'm going to need some help,"

"At your service!"

* * *

Xavier stretched his back, getting ready for the show. He glanced at Stella, who begin giggling and turned away from him and Isaac elbowed her, making her stop giggling.

"What's been goin' on lately?" Xavier questioned, sensing that his bandmates might be hiding something from him. He wouldn't know what they would be hiding, they told each other everything. Vinny had even been acting a little odd the past week and it made Xavier anxious. There weren't any special dates anytime soon, so what was it?

"Relax, you're imagining things," Jackal patted his back, settling his nephew's nerves. "We need to be at our best for tonight's show, it's one of the most important stops!"

"Yes sir!" Stella saluted him in a joking manner as they heard the crowd cheer as their opening act finished. "It's time to rock this!"

They all went in for a quick pep talk and moved to their positions, yet Xavier couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. Maybe it was just because this was Paris? He was thrown off by the familiarity of his home town and how it didn't feel quite as homey as California did? That couldn't be it, he performed here before and never felt like this. Maybe he was realizing that he had waited too long to be honest with Hikaru? He went about it the wrong way and any chance they had was gone. He pushed it away to the back of his mind, he didn't have time to think about this!

He heard Stella banging on the drums and he shook his head, getting in the zone.

"_Alright, Alright…"_

* * *

"How is everyone doing out there?" Xavier questioned, looking at all the faces staring up at them. They screamed and he smiled. "Lovely, just what I wanted to hear," he traded his guitar for an acoustic one as Stella, Vinny, and Isaac left for their small break. He looked over the crowd again and he swore he saw Hikaru. When he looked back, he was gone, but he knew he had seen him. Hikaru had been right next to Jackal and his mother.

He glanced to William on the side of the stage who was mouthing 'are you okay?' to him, noticing the change in Xavier's demeanor. He nodded his head, strumming the guitar once to get the crowd's attention once more, not like they had stopped paying him any attention in the first place.

"It's so amazing to be playing in my hometown. Every time I return, I'm always surprised at how at peace I feel here. Paris used to be such a constraining place for me, some place I could never breathe in. Not anymore, obviously. I can always breathe when I'm up here on stage, playing for you all. That's why I'm going to change it up a bit and play a different song for you, if that's alright?" He questioned, getting screams for answers. "This is one of the first 'love' songs I wrote, though it felt like unrequited love or a love I missed out on. I'm not a person to wear my heart on my sleeve, expressing my personal feelings was never something that came easily to me, so the thought of performing this song always made me cringe, so I never did."

A girl in the audience screamed and he chuckled, eyeing her. "Seems like someone knows the song. Keep it hush, dear, don't ruin the surprise for everyone," he told her, making her blush. He hoped Hikaru was actually here, that he didn't just imagine him out in the crowd. "A lot of things have changed this past couple of years, thank god, but this song never did. My feelings that I poured into it still remain and I don't know if they'll ever go away." He situated the guitar, taking a deep breath.

"This song is called 102."

* * *

"Do you think he saw me?" Hikaru questioned after Yuukio had pulled him back, out of Xavier's view. He had gotten too eager and wanted to see Xavier better, but he almost ruined the whole surprise.

"No? I think you might be okay," Monique replied, looking towards Xavier on stage. They were with the light and technology crew, a perfect spot to be if you were trying not to be seen by the act on stage. Unfortunately, the light moved and Xavier was able to see who was standing there, if only for a brief second. "Woah, he's never done this song before."

"What song is it?" Hikaru asked as Jackie flashed him a small smile.

"It's this one he wrote way back at the start, they never officially released it," Monique answered, now gripping Hikaru's hand. "You need to listen to this!"

"This song is called 102." Xavier said, nodding his head at the few screams that came from the crowd as he begin to play.

"_Well we're here. We're at the common again. Smoked six of the ten fags that I only bought an hour ago. Said well I, I like the look of your shoes. I like the way that your face looks when I'm arguing with you. And so when, when we all grow old. I hope this song will remind you that I'm not half as bad as what you've been told," _Xavier sang and looked directly at where Hikaru was. He kept his eyes there as he continued to play, as if he was telling Hikaru that this song was for him.

"Is this?" He questioned, only feeling Monique's hand give a soft squeeze as a response.

"_And when I knock at one hundred and two and I see your pajamas, I can't stop smiling at you. And that's why we're here. We're at the common again. I've been pouring my heart out towards your optimistic grin," _Hikaru held Monique's hand back, feeling like he was going to cry. Xavier sounded so raw and emotional.

"_Said well I, I, I like the cut of your jib. I like the way that your face looks when you're yapping on about him. But on this shirt I found your smell and I just sat there for ages contemplating what to do with myself. I called you up at one hundred and two. We just sat there for ages talking about that boy. What was getting onto you. You,"_ Xavier finished, slowly finishing the song and pulling his eyes from Hikaru to look at the rest of the crowd.

"Shucks, you're making me blush," he grinned as they applauded, looking embarrassed.

"Oh my god," Hikaru said, overwhelmed with feelings from the song. "Oh my god."

* * *

Xavier walked to the bus alone, everyone else apparently had something else to do before turning in for the night. He hadn't argued much, he was tired and ready for bed. The song made him happy to play, but it emotionally drained him when he remembered the state of him and Hikaru's relationship.

He unlocked the door and stepped on, stopping when he saw Hikaru sitting on the couch. Once the moment of shock set in, he reacted. "I knew I saw you out in the crowd, what the hell are ya doing here?" He questioned, the realization that Hikaru had heard him sing that song, had heard him poor out his feelings to a stadium filled with people, embarrassed him and scared him a bit. They stared at each other until Hikaru jumped into motion.

Hikaru hugged him, tightly, throwing Xavier off for a second. He hugged Hikaru back, feeling all the built up stress from the past few weeks melt away.

"I'm sorry for distancing myself for so long," Hikaru said into his shoulder, not letting Xavier go. "I had to figure it all out, I didn't want to mess this up. I missed you so much though."

"I missed you too," Xavier rubbed his back, not mad at Hikaru. "I understand why you distanced yourself, you don't have to apologize."

"I do! I worried over what could go wrong instead of what could go right. I made myself so miserable by not talking to you, all so I could protect our relationship? It took me too long to realize that I love you and I'm willing to do anything to be with you."

Xavier pulled away and stared at Hikaru, who looked to be on the verge of tears.

"I love you so much, I always have, even when you told me not to," Hikaru admitted and Xavier smiled at him, cupping his face with his hands.

"Love, when have you ever listened to what I told you?" Xavier questioned with a smirk, pleased with the small pout on Hikaru's face. "But it's not like I listened to myself, either, because I am quite in love with you still." He watched Hikaru start to cry and he quickly used his thumbs to wipe away his tears, even though he was tearing up himself. "We're a mess, yeah?" He pressed his forehead to Hikaru's, unbelievably happy.

"Yeah, the best mess," Hikaru murmured, putting his hands on Xavier's. "Kiss me?"

"God, I've been wanting to hear that for years," Xavier said before kissing him eagerly. It was better than before, all because he knew he had Hikaru all to himself.

A loud whistle behind them pulled them apart and Xavier quickly turned to see Vinny standing there, a smirk on his lips and the others behind him laughing.

"Hey! Privacy!" Hikaru exclaimed, his entire face red as he caught Kaoru in the back laughing at him.

"You won't be gettin' much of that on a bus like this," Vinny teased, stepping onto the bus. "We came to congratulate ya'll, it only took what? Three years?"

"Longer than that," Monique added, making Xavier roll his eyes. "So much pining and miscommunication."

"We're together now, so it doesn't matter, yeah?" Xavier questioned, keeping Hikaru close to him with an arm around his waist.

"Although now we'll have to listen to them talk about each other even more," Isaac said and Xavier grinned.

"Oh yes, I'm never going to shut up about you," Xavier said and blew a raspberry against Hikaru's neck, making him squeal and squirm. The others laughed as Hikaru lightly hit Xavier's arm, pouting at his new boyfriend.

"Why are you such a dick?" Hikaru questioned while the others broke off into conversation, not paying them any attention. "And why do I love you despite that? I think it's because I'm such a kind hearted person."

"Oh yes, love, you are the sweetest and most kind hearted person I have ever laid eyes on," Xavier teased, pressing a kiss to Hikaru's temple. "I'm so lucky to have someone like you by my side,"

"You're so affectionate now," Hikaru grinned at the attention, loving it. "So embarrassing, geez what will I do with you?"

"Seems like the roles are switched, but I'm sure the roles in the bedroom are the same, love," Hikaru paused as Xavier murmured it into his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

"Guess you'll just have to find out, won't you?" Hikaru replied back with a smirk, then pulled away to go talk to Kaoru.

"Love! You can't leave me hanging like that," Xavier called after him, following him quickly.


End file.
